Talking engagement and find out boyfriends deal with EXwife

[Anonymous]

We have both been married before. I had alimony for a short time but it is long gone which is fine as I rebuilt my career. I have one DC who I get child support for. I was married 7 years. Boyfriend was married 14 years and has two kids whom he pays child support for. I assumed she no longer got alimony as they have been divorced for 4 years. We want to get married so we had a financial talk last night. Turns out his ex wife passed up alimony in exchange for 22 percent of his business...as in she owns 22 percent of his business FOREVER. This gives her passive income of about 78-90k a year!!!!! FOR DOING NOTHING!!!! My boyfriend is fine with it and said something like "I would of never been able to start this business without her." Isn't unusual there was no "buyout."??? I want to start a life with this man but I don't want to keep her on the payroll forever. Boyfriends long term plan is to keep business up and running for 12 more years before he sells at which time we would have to give her those proceeds??? The alimony thread kind of keyed me into realizing this is extremely rare and my boyfriend got a terrible deal. Anything we can do now??

[Anonymous]

I think you need to chill. And he needs a pre-nup.

[Anonymous]

He also has kids. Adults have a past. Deal with it like an adult and not a jealous kid. Good on her for having a better way to make sure her kids are taken care of.

[Anonymous]

He is fine with it. Leave it alone.

[Anonymous]

This is part of his history and part of the deal. He seems to be fine with this arrangement and, in fact, indicates that his XW earned this ownership interest.

Your choice is to take it or leave it. You are in no position to dictate or change the terms of this financial arrangement.

[Anonymous]

The only solution is to turn him against her and poison their relationship so he's as bitter and ugly as you are. Then you can relax and marry your meal ticket -- oops, I mean boyfriend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you need to chill. And he needs a pre-nup.

Yep. OP, you seem pretty entitled to your beau's money and future earnings. Assuming you truly love the guy you should be OK with a pre-nup, right?

[Anonymous]

OP here. I guess it just bothers me because she does nothing for the business. Boyfriend does 100 percent of the work for 78 percent of the income. It just seems like an insane payout. She has a clause saying that even if she remarries (which she is close to doing we think) she still (and only her) owns 22 percent. Its like she literally is glued to him forever. I know its up to me to accept it or not and I really love him but I did not see this coming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He also has kids. Adults have a past. Deal with it like an adult and not a jealous kid. Good on her for having a better way to make sure her kids are taken care of.

And let's assume that your bf also wants the best for his children. Geeze, OP. You're a piece of work. Look inward, honey.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you need to chill. And he needs a pre-nup.

Yep. OP, you seem pretty entitled to your beau's money and future earnings. Assuming you truly love the guy you should be OK with a pre-nup, right?

OP here. Yes of course we will be getting a prenup...that was the opening segment of our big financial discussion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He also has kids. Adults have a past. Deal with it like an adult and not a jealous kid. Good on her for having a better way to make sure her kids are taken care of.

And let's assume that your bf also wants the best for his children. Geeze, OP. You're a piece of work. Look inward, honey.

OP here. Boyfriend pays child support for his kids. This 22 percent is basically her money to live on forever; kids are taken care of with support.

[Anonymous]

She made an investment, and she is collecting a share of the venture's profits. She's not an employee; she's a shareholder. She doesn't need to do anything for the business if this is the deal they made.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I guess it just bothers me because she does nothing for the business. Boyfriend does 100 percent of the work for 78 percent of the income. It just seems like an insane payout. She has a clause saying that even if she remarries (which she is close to doing we think) she still (and only her) owns 22 percent. Its like she literally is glued to him forever. I know its up to me to accept it or not and I really love him but I did not see this coming.

She "does nothing" except raise his children! Are you REALLY a mother? Really? It's hard to believe how short-sighted and dim you are coming off. You're blinded by greed and jealousy. I sincerely hope he stumbles across this thread so he has a little insight into how you really think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He also has kids. Adults have a past. Deal with it like an adult and not a jealous kid. Good on her for having a better way to make sure her kids are taken care of.

And let's assume that your bf also wants the best for his children. Geeze, OP. You're a piece of work. Look inward, honey.

OP here. Boyfriend pays child support for his kids. This 22 percent is basically her money to live on forever; kids are taken care of with support.

Because it's a widely understood fact that state-required child support is adequate...OP, just stop. YOu look like a complete asshole.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have both been married before. I had alimony for a short time but it is long gone which is fine as I rebuilt my career. I have one DC who I get child support for. I was married 7 years. Boyfriend was married 14 years and has two kids whom he pays child support for. I assumed she no longer got alimony as they have been divorced for 4 years. We want to get married so we had a financial talk last night. Turns out his ex wife passed up alimony in exchange for 22 percent of his business...as in she owns 22 percent of his business FOREVER. This gives her passive income of about 78-90k a year!!!!! FOR DOING NOTHING!!!! My boyfriend is fine with it and said something like "I would of never been able to start this business without her." Isn't unusual there was no "buyout."??? I want to start a life with this man but I don't want to keep her on the payroll forever. Boyfriends long term plan is to keep business up and running for 12 more years before he sells at which time we would have to give her those proceeds??? The alimony thread kind of keyed me into realizing this is extremely rare and my boyfriend got a terrible deal. Anything we can do now??

Without her, according to him, he would never been able to start this business - so think of it this way- 78% of nothing is ZERO. And your boyfriend sounds like a class act.