Talking engagement and find out boyfriends deal with EXwife

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, OP. She helped him launch the business. That's her equity, and she has elected to keep it invested instead of cashing out.

Given your point of view, I assume the prenup states that if you leave the marriage, you take nothing but the clothes on your back.

OK Op here and I need to clear something up. All she did was go back to work so he could quite his corporate job to start the business. It was 100 percent his idea, his blood, sweat, and tears, and she doesn't have an ounce of experience in the field. She truly knows nothing about the business. She just did her part as a martial team and had to be the breadwinner for 3-4 years. In my opinion ANYONE should be willing to work and not get rewarded for life for it. Its not like she had the knowledge or the idea behind the business. I think thats an important point of clarification.

And your point is? He has acknowledged without her, he would not have been able to do this. I think that is an important point of clarification.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I guess it just bothers me because she does nothing for the business. Boyfriend does 100 percent of the work for 78 percent of the income. It just seems like an insane payout. She has a clause saying that even if she remarries (which she is close to doing we think) she still (and only her) owns 22 percent. Its like she literally is glued to him forever. I know its up to me to accept it or not and I really love him but I did not see this coming.

That's how business works, OP. If he wants to make an offer to pay her off he can, but that would be a HEFTY sum that I'd think would bother you too. He himself said she helped start it, so that should be a cue for you to butt out.

Just repeat "business is business, not personal." This is not your issue, and for what it's worth I think it sounds fair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Its like she literally is glued to him forever.

It's almost as if they vowed to be partners "from this day forward until death do us part." Oh, right, they did.

[Anonymous]

OP - Don't book that engagement party for anytime soon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Using that same argument, you didn't have anything to do with starting the business and are not needed to insure continued success, so that means you should pay your own way for everything and you should never receive any benefit, even in marriage, from your husband having the business.

sorry for the long run on sentence and yes, I know, ensure, not insure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its like she literally is glued to him forever.

It's almost as if they vowed to be partners "from this day forward until death do us part." Oh, right, they did.

And for the 100th time...they have children together. They will be glued together forever. Forever. And Ever. Get used to it.

[Anonymous]

Based on the details that OP offers (you served up an awful lot, sister) I think I know who this is. It would be so, so easy to forward a link....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I guess it just bothers me because she does nothing for the business. Boyfriend does 100 percent of the work for 78 percent of the income. It just seems like an insane payout. She has a clause saying that even if she remarries (which she is close to doing we think) she still (and only her) owns 22 percent. Its like she literally is glued to him forever. I know its up to me to accept it or not and I really love him but I did not see this coming.

That's how business works, OP. If he wants to make an offer to pay her off he can, but that would be a HEFTY sum that I'd think would bother you too. He himself said she helped start it, so that should be a cue for you to butt out.

Just repeat "business is business, not personal." This is not your issue, and for what it's worth I think it sounds fair.

How would you feel if he had had a "silent partner" who allowed him to move in with him and not charged for room or board for three or four years so he could get the business started, with the agreement that he would get 22% of the business? People make all kinds of agreements in the business world. There are different ways of helping a business to get started that add value to that business.

[Anonymous]

OP this is pretty despicable. You look like a fool trying to come up with reasons why you're more worthy than Wife #1. It makes you sound insecure, greedy, unfair, and pathetic. Let it go. You weren't here when this happened.

If he'd made the same agreement with a stranger VC you'd have NO reason to make these arguments, and it really is the same deal except that you have some heightened emotions tied up in it, but it's not your arrangement to contest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Based on the details that OP offers (you served up an awful lot, sister) I think I know who this is. It would be so, so easy to forward a link....

I think you should. He deserves to know what a gold digger (and a relatively dim one at that) he's about to marry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, OP. She helped him launch the business. That's her equity, and she has elected to keep it invested instead of cashing out.

Given your point of view, I assume the prenup states that if you leave the marriage, you take nothing but the clothes on your back.

OK Op here and I need to clear something up. All she did was go back to work so he could quite his corporate job to start the business. It was 100 percent his idea, his blood, sweat, and tears, and she doesn't have an ounce of experience in the field. She truly knows nothing about the business. She just did her part as a martial team and had to be the breadwinner for 3-4 years. In my opinion ANYONE should be willing to work and not get rewarded for life for it. Its not like she had the knowledge or the idea behind the business. I think thats an important point of clarification.

And your point is? He has acknowledged without her, he would not have been able to do this. I think that is an important point of clarification.

If he was working so hard I bet she picked up a large bit of slack regarding child rearing, household chores etc. Good for him for acknowledging her sacrifice and not trying to cheat her out of marital assets.

[Anonymous]

So it looks like your fb is a good guy who recognizes how much help his ex wife have him and he doesn't begrudge her her share. You should be happy he is such a stand-up guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OK Op here and I need to clear something up. All she did was go back to work so he could quite his corporate job to start the business. It was 100 percent his idea, his blood, sweat, and tears, and she doesn't have an ounce of experience in the field. She truly knows nothing about the business. She just did her part as a martial team and had to be the breadwinner for 3-4 years. In my opinion ANYONE should be willing to work and not get rewarded for life for it. Its not like she had the knowledge or the idea behind the business. I think thats an important point of clarification.

NP here. I agree with the others that OP should quit while she's behind. Every post she makes makes her look worse and worse.

OP--If you are, as one of your responses says, getting a prenuptial, I hope that your affianced has enough sense to include a prenup that says that the business is solely his premarital and that you aren't entitled to any of it in the event of a divorce. The point is that it's his business and money, and not yours. He can manage it anyway that he wants and based on any prior agreements that he has. Without her working to support him, he would self-admits that he would never have been able to afford to start up this business. As everyone should know, starting up a business is hard. The first few years are always a struggle to break even, let alone make a profit. The family has to live somewhere and eat while the business is in its formative years. She provided the family income to allow him the luxury of starting up a business with no profit margin. Without her blood, sweat and tears working another job, he would have had to provide for a family and would not have been able to start up a new business. So, yes, she is fully entitled to a portion of ownership of the business. It doesn't make you look very good showing how little you recognize that. The question is, why do you deserve any more of the proceeds of this business than she does? She at least supported him while he started off the business. You've done nothing to earn any benefit off of the fruits of the business.

I want to start a life with this man but I don't want to keep her on the payroll forever.

Frankly, you aren't keeping her on any payroll. He is, by agreement. If he can't be trusted to keep his word to her over what they agreed on during their marriage how would you be able to trust that he would keep his word to you? He's either trustworthy or he isn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you need to chill. And he needs a pre-nup.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have both been married before. I had alimony for a short time but it is long gone which is fine as I rebuilt my career. I have one DC who I get child support for. I was married 7 years. Boyfriend was married 14 years and has two kids whom he pays child support for. I assumed she no longer got alimony as they have been divorced for 4 years. We want to get married so we had a financial talk last night. Turns out his ex wife passed up alimony in exchange for 22 percent of his business...as in she owns 22 percent of his business FOREVER. This gives her passive income of about 78-90k a year!!!!! FOR DOING NOTHING!!!! My boyfriend is fine with it and said something like "I would of never been able to start this business without her." Isn't unusual there was no "buyout."??? I want to start a life with this man but I don't want to keep her on the payroll forever. Boyfriends long term plan is to keep business up and running for 12 more years before he sells at which time we would have to give her those proceeds??? The alimony thread kind of keyed me into realizing this is extremely rare and my boyfriend got a terrible deal. Anything we can do now??

She's not on the payroll. She's an owner! Yea capitalism.

And if her 22 per cent is 80 or 90 k yearly, does that mean your intended's share is somewhere north of 400K?

Greedy greedy. And, yes, he is tied to her forever. That's what happens when you have kids with someone.