Emotional Affair When You Are Happily Married? Is this Possible?

[Anonymous]

Did anyone maintain an emotional affair while simultaneously feeling happily married? If so, how did it all end? Or have you been able to maintain the EA/friendship while still feeling fulfilled in your marriage? I'm looking for some light at the end of the tunnel here. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Another way to look at this is that when you have a happy marriage, you are more optimistic about the relationship between a man and a woman. So, it may make you more starry-eyed and lead you to an EA or more flirting with OM.

Maybe being in unhappy marriage sours you towards all men and their lying, cheating faces.

[Anonymous]

Of course.

Affairs have nothing to do with the marriage. It's like being a drunk or a drug addict, the addict does not care about anything but themselves.

[Anonymous]

Happily married means NO AFFAIR. PERIOD.

[Anonymous]

I think if you classify it as an emotional affair rather than a friendship, then something in your marriage needs more attention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Happily married means NO AFFAIR. PERIOD.

Not true.

Maybe happy people don't have affairs or mentally healthy people don't have affairs... But it is not true that happily married people don't have affairs.

[Anonymous]

Friendship with a mutual underlying attraction. I don't want to give up the friendship but am attracted to two men simultaneously and married to only one of them. I imagine that time will force the friendship to sever both ties, but I am trying to picture a world where I can have both as long as nothing becomes physical. Like, is it ever ok to have a flirty friendship??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Friendship with a mutual underlying attraction. I don't want to give up the friendship but am attracted to two men simultaneously and married to only one of them. I imagine that time will force the friendship to sever both ties, but I am trying to picture a world where I can have both as long as nothing becomes physical. Like, is it ever ok to have a flirty friendship??

This sounds just a touch on the self-indulgent side. Actually, selfish and immature. Trust me, your "flirty friendship" will end up in a flirty bed with you getting flirty banged by a flirty man other than your husband. But you deserve to have your cake and eat it, too. Because you're special.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Friendship with a mutual underlying attraction. I don't want to give up the friendship but am attracted to two men simultaneously and married to only one of them. I imagine that time will force the friendship to sever both ties, but I am trying to picture a world where I can have both as long as nothing becomes physical. Like, is it ever ok to have a flirty friendship??

I just posted about my pain due to loving another man besides my DH. My friendship with this man started off so innocently, but it's developed into something much deeper. It is really just causing me pain now. I don't think you can do both. Although, my situation may be different. My DH and I had been having problems for several years before these feelings for the other man developed. If you are happy in your marriage, then you may be okay and may be able to just keep it at friendship. But I'd stop the flirting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Friendship with a mutual underlying attraction. I don't want to give up the friendship but am attracted to two men simultaneously and married to only one of them. I imagine that time will force the friendship to sever both ties, but I am trying to picture a world where I can have both as long as nothing becomes physical. Like, is it ever ok to have a flirty friendship??

I just posted about my pain due to loving another man besides my DH. My friendship with this man started off so innocently, but it's developed into something much deeper. It is really just causing me pain now. I don't think you can do both. Although, my situation may be different. My DH and I had been having problems for several years before these feelings for the other man developed. If you are happy in your marriage, then you may be okay and may be able to just keep it at friendship. But I'd stop the flirting.

How long has your friendship lasted? I think I'm going to keep the friendship non-flirty and see if it helps. Did you two ever express your feelings to each other? Text each other late night? Talk about your marriage to each other?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Another way to look at this is that when you have a happy marriage, you are more optimistic about the relationship between a man and a woman. So, it may make you more starry-eyed and lead you to an EA or more flirting with OM.

Maybe being in unhappy marriage sours you towards all men and their lying, cheating faces.

A happy marriage may lead you to EA or flirting with OM? hmm... is this your personal experience?
And by that logic, if you have a happy sexual marriage, that may lead you to a PA because you want to experience more?
Please - this sounds a little hokey unless you have some actual evidence.

Also, it is a big leap from unhappy marriage to "lying, cheating daces". I agree however that "lying, cheating" will put you off all women or men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Friendship with a mutual underlying attraction. I don't want to give up the friendship but am attracted to two men simultaneously and married to only one of them. I imagine that time will force the friendship to sever both ties, but I am trying to picture a world where I can have both as long as nothing becomes physical. Like, is it ever ok to have a flirty friendship??

I just posted about my pain due to loving another man besides my DH. My friendship with this man started off so innocently, but it's developed into something much deeper. It is really just causing me pain now. I don't think you can do both. Although, my situation may be different. My DH and I had been having problems for several years before these feelings for the other man developed. If you are happy in your marriage, then you may be okay and may be able to just keep it at friendship. But I'd stop the flirting.

How long has your friendship lasted? I think I'm going to keep the friendship non-flirty and see if it helps. Did you two ever express your feelings to each other? Text each other late night? Talk about your marriage to each other?

Friends for 2 years. Yes, we've expressed the feelings (never acted on them). Yes, we've texted late at night. No, we have never discussed marriage or even a long term relationship. But if I ended my marriage to DH, I do not see myself getting married again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Happily married means NO AFFAIR. PERIOD.

Not true.

Maybe happy people don't have affairs or mentally healthy people don't have affairs... But it is not true that happily married people don't have affairs.

I'm happily married and can't imagine getting into something with OM that would be an "emotional affair". I just can't. I guess my husband also satisfies me emotionally, and that makes me happily married in that way? If he didn't, I don't think I would be happily married.

[Anonymous]

What's the difference between a close friendship and an emotional affair? Is it professed physical attraction to each other but not acting on it? Living in a state of perpetual sexual tension?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's the difference between a close friendship and an emotional affair? Is it professed physical attraction to each other but not acting on it? Living in a state of perpetual sexual tension?

Perhaps one way to distinguish between a friendship and an affair is you can tell your DH or DW. Affairs I would guess are generally concealed whereas friendships tend to be open.