IL's think im rude for writing thank you notes

[Anonymous]

I was brought up to always, always write thank you notes. I've always done it for my il's. To make a long story short, I overheard some of them calling me a pretentious bitch for doing so. What do I do? Just verbally thank them for gifts and move on?

[Anonymous]

Yes.

[Anonymous]

Yes.

[Anonymous]

That's weird. You can verbally thank them but keep writing to everybody else.

[Anonymous]

Thank you notes. If people think you're pretentious it's because they have no manners.

[Anonymous]

Keep writing thank you notes, but just not to them. You're right to write them.

[Anonymous]

OP: they do not do thank you notes either. They also do not RSVP to weddings except verbally. It's like they have objections to written words. DH says I can keep sending them but they will think I'm stuck up.

[Anonymous]

While you should always thank someone for a gift, it is a little formal and old-fashioned to do so in a hand-written note. My parents definitely made me do this as a kid, but I wouldn't do it now. I just call the person or write an email or tell them in person.

[Anonymous]

OP - They don't like you, so stop wasting your time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:While you should always thank someone for a gift, it is a little formal and old-fashioned to do so in a hand-written note. My parents definitely made me do this as a kid, but I wouldn't do it now. I just call the person or write an email or tell them in person.

It is not at all old fashioned. It is very much still in fashion for polite people and it is a great habit to teach your kids. Someone gives you a gift. You thank them.

[Anonymous]

I have never heard of someone called out for writing a thank you note. That's a first..hey, you know now who you don't need to write a thank you note, too. Right?

[Anonymous]

Honestly, if you know it makes them uncomfortable, the classiest thing to do is to not send thank you notes -- to them. Keep sending them to the rest of the world, because most of us like it!

[Anonymous]

My SIL did this, and after a couple of holidays we all said, listen, life is hard enough. We see each other (within family), can we thank each other in person? It's not like we're not in fairly constant communication.

[Anonymous]

Your ILs are ungracious and uncouth boors. Yokels. Morons.

[Anonymous]

It's because many people don't bother anymore, so it makes them feel inferior. Since etiquette is all about making others feel comfortable, the correct step here is to stop sending them, and thank them verbally.