Why are so many women here so angry with / resentful toward women who stay home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have the daily delight of mansplaining. I am the lone token female in a sea of men.

We need more females. Many days it's a stampede of testosterone. Yes, I can handle simple division, but let's waste 10 minutes while you explain division.

It gets really lonely as you climb the ladder. Fewer women. I'm angry because there are so many capable women who gave up careers.

If you haven't been here, trust me, we are fighting a gender battle.

I agree with this 100%. All the SAHMs who claim we're all so jealous that they run the PTA and work out - actually, our frustration with your choices runs much deeper than that.

Let me get this straight - you are angry at women who made different choices than you, because you are now one of the few in a male-dominated field? Have you considered that perhaps many other women don't share your interest in "climbing the ladder" and whatever else it is you do? You expect them to dedicate their lives to a career that does not excite them just so that you don't have to feel "lonely"? You are free to choose a different career path if you aren't happy. You don't get to dictate what other people do for a living.

I said I agree. I'm not PP. But I guess your reading comprehension abilities have dimmed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have the daily delight of mansplaining. I am the lone token female in a sea of men.

We need more females. Many days it's a stampede of testosterone. Yes, I can handle simple division, but let's waste 10 minutes while you explain division.

It gets really lonely as you climb the ladder. Fewer women. I'm angry because there are so many capable women who gave up careers.

If you haven't been here, trust me, we are fighting a gender battle.

I agree with this 100%. All the SAHMs who claim we're all so jealous that they run the PTA and work out - actually, our frustration with your choices runs much deeper than that.

Let me get this straight - you are angry at women who made different choices than you, because you are now one of the few in a male-dominated field? Have you considered that perhaps many other women don't share your interest in "climbing the ladder" and whatever else it is you do? You expect them to dedicate their lives to a career that does not excite them just so that you don't have to feel "lonely"? You are free to choose a different career path if you aren't happy. You don't get to dictate what other people do for a living.

Exactly! Apparently, we should pursue male-dominated careers regardless of our personal interests, just to prove that we are as capable of men. We are too low in self-esteem to actually pursue our own dreams. We need to prove ourselves... even if it makes us miserable or is not the best choice for our family.

[Anonymous]

Fixed my typo

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have the daily delight of mansplaining. I am the lone token female in a sea of men.

We need more females. Many days it's a stampede of testosterone. Yes, I can handle simple division, but let's waste 10 minutes while you explain division.

It gets really lonely as you climb the ladder. Fewer women. I'm angry because there are so many capable women who gave up careers.

If you haven't been here, trust me, we are fighting a gender battle.

I agree with this 100%. All the SAHMs who claim we're all so jealous that they run the PTA and work out - actually, our frustration with your choices runs much deeper than that.

Let me get this straight - you are angry at women who made different choices than you, because you are now one of the few in a male-dominated field? Have you considered that perhaps many other women don't share your interest in "climbing the ladder" and whatever else it is you do? You expect them to dedicate their lives to a career that does not excite them just so that you don't have to feel "lonely"? You are free to choose a different career path if you aren't happy. You don't get to dictate what other people do for a living.

Exactly! Apparently, we should pursue male-dominated careers regardless of our personal interests, just to prove that we are as capable as men. We are too low in self-esteem to actually pursue our own dreams. We need to prove ourselves... even if it makes us miserable or is not the best choice for our family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have the daily delight of mansplaining. I am the lone token female in a sea of men.

We need more females. Many days it's a stampede of testosterone. Yes, I can handle simple division, but let's waste 10 minutes while you explain division.

It gets really lonely as you climb the ladder. Fewer women. I'm angry because there are so many capable women who gave up careers.

If you haven't been here, trust me, we are fighting a gender battle.

I agree with this 100%. All the SAHMs who claim we're all so jealous that they run the PTA and work out - actually, our frustration with your choices runs much deeper than that.

Let me get this straight - you are angry at women who made different choices than you, because you are now one of the few in a male-dominated field? Have you considered that perhaps many other women don't share your interest in "climbing the ladder" and whatever else it is you do? You expect them to dedicate their lives to a career that does not excite them just so that you don't have to feel "lonely"? You are free to choose a different career path if you aren't happy. You don't get to dictate what other people do for a living.

Pray tell, what are your passions?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have the daily delight of mansplaining. I am the lone token female in a sea of men.

We need more females. Many days it's a stampede of testosterone. Yes, I can handle simple division, but let's waste 10 minutes while you explain division.

It gets really lonely as you climb the ladder. Fewer women. I'm angry because there are so many capable women who gave up careers.

If you haven't been here, trust me, we are fighting a gender battle.

I agree with this 100%. All the SAHMs who claim we're all so jealous that they run the PTA and work out - actually, our frustration with your choices runs much deeper than that.

Let me get this straight - you are angry at women who made different choices than you, because you are now one of the few in a male-dominated field? Have you considered that perhaps many other women don't share your interest in "climbing the ladder" and whatever else it is you do? You expect them to dedicate their lives to a career that does not excite them just so that you don't have to feel "lonely"? You are free to choose a different career path if you aren't happy. You don't get to dictate what other people do for a living.

Exactly! Apparently, we should pursue male-dominated careers regardless of our personal interests, just to prove that we are as capable of men. We are too low in self-esteem to actually pursue our own dreams. We need to prove ourselves... even if it makes us miserable or is not the best choice for our family.

What dream are you pursuing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I literally see women here saying women who stay home are traitors to womanhood. Is DC really this stressful?

While I'm not on dcum a lot I don't recall seeing that. How does this convert to "DC is stressful"? Stressful cities to raise kids in are like HK, Tokyo, NYC.

I have lived in 3 countries and 6 major cities and DC has the most dual working professional couples I've seen anywhere. I also see a lot of flextime workers and work-at-home men/women, more than any other city I've lived and worked in (v London, NYC, Philly, Boston, etc. ).

But hey, if I want to quit my $250k job I actually like to raise my kids more than I already do, yeah, I'll consider it. My kids would be better off, my house would be better off and my husband would be better off if I stayed home and ran everything 24/7.

[Anonymous]

I would love to get laid off with a big severance package and take 2-3 years off until youngest is in Kindergarten!

I'd be able to snag a better job as a free agent too - my industry is so small in DC they don't want to poach. And upstream they don't want to poach b/c of the biz they do with my current employer, and consultant firm cannot poach as we are a potential client.

Much more fun to take a few years off, be a free agent and pick the right next job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Boring people get bored. I love my free time and have developed hobbies that engage me and involve others. I could easily play golf 4 days a week and continue triathlon training.

To all of you who have "no idea" what SAHM do all day and think we sit on the couch eating Cheetos ~

Do you plan to never retire? I mean, aren't most dual income families so flush that you are all retiring by 60? At 60 I plan to be pretty spry! I'd hate to be thrust into retirement with no shared passions or interests with my spouse. I can't imagine being a widow with no idea what to do all day. Sounds like a quick road to the retirement home, to me.

(And I'm not talking to all WOHM, just those who seem to be getting pleasure out of pretending we at home have no lives, intellectual stimulation or hobbies).

If you truly can't imagine what you'd do all day I feel badly for you.

I plan to retire, as part of a flush dual WOHP couple, before 60, and continue work like my paid job for an organization I care about as a volunteer. Some people like to do what they excel at.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hey bitches! If your daughters think you're all great because you have a career in law, science or finance, just brace yourselves! You think they look up to you because of your lousy career. Let's not get ahead of ourselves because this generation of women ar going ng to look up to Melania Trump.

If I have a daughter she would be a classically trained gold digger. Hope she's a beauty with long legs a thigh gap.

SO SAD.



We need to move forward not backwards.

No one says bearing and raising children is not important work. It is, but with a lifespan now of 90 years and at least 4 years of college education + 5 years of experience working, it is a shame to have a qualified, educated and intelligent woman walk back into the kitchen barefoot and cleaning toilets.

House chores do not take 90 years. Neither does raising children.

Chin up ladies, lets meet our full potentials. WE SHALL RISE!

Yes, lives are long which is why it is ridiculous that a woman or a man can't take off 5 years or so to enjoy raising their young children (if that's what they want to do) and then get back into a career. It's not staying home that's a problem it's that our work world makes it so hard for people to move in and out of work as life changes over time.

You can still take 5 years off and go back if you're willing to start at entry level all over again. And what's easier, tailoring your work/life sequence to the working world reality, or changing the world lol? I also would argue that if one were to SAH, one should do it when children are in 7th through 12th grades. Much more important to be really engaged with your almost adult children and no childcare options

I actually did take 5 years off and returned to a position at the level where I left because 1) I stayed in contact with former bosses and coworkers and did the occasional project in my field and 2) was lucky to find a job with a boss who realizes 15 years of experience don't disappear just because you spend some time focusing on children. Why should someone with 15 years of experience have to start at entry level again? That makes no sense. I hire entry-level people now and wouldn't look at a returning SAHM for entry-level (returning to the same field she left, that is) because she'd be way overqualified and thus bored and leave quickly. But I'd absolutely consider one if a position matched her experience.

You didn't take 5 years completely off. You worked part time ("did the occasional project in my field").

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:School.

Where will your kids be when you are retired?

Will you crochet and jigsaw puzzle all day like PP? Sounds like death.

So you criticize me for working when I don't need the money, and also for having hobbies which sound "like death" to you. The only right way to live is to SAH and do the hobbies you think are cool, otherwise I am doing life wrong?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Working mom here. Look, you ladies are getting pretty ridiculous if you REALLY can't think of ANYTHING interesting or productive to do with your time if you suddenly had the means to quit your jobs, like you won the lotto or inherited a bunch of money from some long lost relative. Come on. I understand why you might be annoyed by some of these posts but doubling down on this particular track is the height of absurdity.

I can think of interesting and productive things to do other than work for pay, and I do have the means to quit my job. I simply like to WOH, even though I still have children at home. Is that okay with you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Working mom here. Look, you ladies are getting pretty ridiculous if you REALLY can't think of ANYTHING interesting or productive to do with your time if you suddenly had the means to quit your jobs, like you won the lotto or inherited a bunch of money from some long lost relative. Come on. I understand why you might be annoyed by some of these posts but doubling down on this particular track is the height of absurdity.

I can think of interesting and productive things to do other than work for pay, and I do have the means to quit my job. I simply like to WOH, even though I still have children at home. Is that okay with you?

Yes BUT you cannot be too good at your job if it threatens my self-esteem. Also you should work in a male dominated field because of the gender fight and all. You must not wear yoga pants or do yoga. You must be doing something income producing that also "makes a difference" in the world - grunt work is not enough. As far as your non-work hours and child care arrangements, I'm not sure about the rules - but probably avoid Luluman pants or whatever they are called and steer clear of PTA.
There I think I've covered everything. Be safe!

[Anonymous]

I'm jealous that their husbands earn enough to take care of them. Mine works hard but I'm supporting us. I'm bitter. HOWEVER, I also look at my mother's generation - women who never worked - and now that their kids are grown most of them seem adrift, without purpose, and rather bitter at not being "needed" anymore. I don't want to wind up that way. So I'm proud that I work, grateful that I have a job I enjoy, but also jealous that it's not my choice.

[Anonymous]

I'm impressed by all the highly compensated, super hard working, super smart women in the middle of amazing and intellectually stimulating careers that contribute meaningfully to society while allowing them the time and energy to post on internet message boards.

[Anonymous]

Worry about yourself, stop being jealous of other people and intolerant. Must be a horrible way to go through life.