DC parents leave kids in car for wine tasting

[Anonymous]

The whole thing is truly bizarre. But I am a little weirded out by how obsessed I am by this case. I'd love to know more about the parents. Did they really seem like normal, involved parents? Do they have a full-time nanny during the week or do the kids attend a day-care? Were they with friends at the wine tasting or on their own?

The entire thing is just one big, huge WTF!!

[Anonymous]

Can you imagine if you were hanging out with friends at a fancy restaurant and the police came to arrest them because...they had left their kids out in the car!?! I can't even imagine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So now you can let your iphone babysit your kid...

good to know.

Only if you're okay with getting arrested...

[Anonymous]

I am fascinated by this case too and I agree with pp who said it's because they are "like me." Same as the maryland free range parents. I have similar education and would assume I had similar values. Yet here they are making choices I would not make. Why?

[Anonymous]

My H and I have tag teamed often in order to attend an event, but it's more "I went last time, you go this time." And there are many times neither of us goes. Our kids are older than these toddlers, but not old enough to be home together for an extended period of time. I just cannot wrap my head around BOTH of them thinking this was reasonable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you imagine if you were hanging out with friends at a fancy restaurant and the police came to arrest them because...they had left their kids out in the car!?! I can't even imagine.

So did the police actually come into the restaurant? The dad was at the car. Did the police go into Ris to arrest the mom? Why isn't anyone from the wine tasting/restaurant talking about this to the media?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Re children's memory, I am a neuroscientist and may be able to shed some light.

The part of the brain that coordinates storage of memories, the hippocampus, undergoes major reorganization around age 7. This is thought to be why most people have few or no memories from before this time. I think it also explains why a 5yo may perfectly well remember an event from 3 years earlier--they may not after age 7.

As for the PP who remembers a traumatic abandonment at age 3--traumas like that may be encoded differently, we know that fear and anger (mediated by the amygdala) can reinforce memories in adults, so it's likely that a memory of something fearsome may be more able to stick at any age. My DH also remembers being in a crib left alone to cry, looking at a particular mobile even. But he couldn't, say, tell you the floor plan of the house he lived in at that age.

So this kid may remember the experience or may not. However, CPS/DC is clearly betting that this isn't these parents' first neglectful act, or they wouldn't consider foster care safer for the kids than being home with their parents. So, sadly, it's probably the case that these kids have a lot of neglect to remember.

I think this is exactly it. It's like anytime someone gets caught for anything -- speeding, DUI - whatever. Chances that it is a first time offense are very slim. That may not be relevant in individual court cases, but when making a decision about the wellbeing of children, I think they take this experience into account.

[Anonymous]

and my question is why oh why a wine tasting? I've never been to a wine tasting that was all that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you imagine if you were hanging out with friends at a fancy restaurant and the police came to arrest them because...they had left their kids out in the car!?! I can't even imagine.

So did the police actually come into the restaurant? The dad was at the car. Did the police go into Ris to arrest the mom? Why isn't anyone from the wine tasting/restaurant talking about this to the media?

When the story first broke, the news had interviews with other people who were at the event. Sounds like the police went in, took the people out (not in handcuffs, but took them) and everyone else had to leave. Of course, I have no source for this other than what a restaurant customer told the news.

[Anonymous]

To the PPs that say the kids should go back to the parents but with lots of supervision. Who exactly do you think would do this supervising? States don't have full-time nannies set up to watch to make sure parents aren't being neglectful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The whole thing is truly bizarre. But I am a little weirded out by how obsessed I am by this case. I'd love to know more about the parents. Did they really seem like normal, involved parents? Do they have a full-time nanny during the week or do the kids attend a day-care? Were they with friends at the wine tasting or on their own?

The entire thing is just one big, huge WTF!!

I know...I am obsessed too. Why hasn't anyone who is friends with or works with these people come forward? And, how about anyone who was at the wine-tasting at Ris who can speak to whether the police came in to arrest them (as was originally reported)?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you imagine if you were hanging out with friends at a fancy restaurant and the police came to arrest them because...they had left their kids out in the car!?! I can't even imagine.

So did the police actually come into the restaurant? The dad was at the car. Did the police go into Ris to arrest the mom? Why isn't anyone from the wine tasting/restaurant talking about this to the media?

When the story first broke, the news had interviews with other people who were at the event. Sounds like the police went in, took the people out (not in handcuffs, but took them) and everyone else had to leave. Of course, I have no source for this other than what a restaurant customer told the news.

Other people had to leave the restaurant, too? Yikes!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am fascinated by this case too and I agree with pp who said it's because they are "like me." Same as the maryland free range parents. I have similar education and would assume I had similar values. Yet here they are making choices I would not make. Why?

I am also fascinated by the case because these seem like people I could know, so I want to understand what the H they were thinking.

But PLEASE do not compare this to the parents who let their 6 and 10 year old walk to the park. Maybe that isn't something you would do but it's well within the range of defensible parenting decisions. Leaving screaming toddlers locked in a car in freezing cold temperature is NOT.

[Anonymous]

It was too cold for them to walk 4 blocks to this wine tasting, but not too cold for them to leave their tiny children locked inside an unheated car for an hour? WITH NO SOCKS OR SHOES ON!? Wtf?

[Anonymous]

I have known 40+ older parents who were rich and DINKs for a very long time who really had a hard time adjusting to the drudgery of life with babies and toddlers.