Crazy shit my mom says

[Anonymous]

I grew up in a very small town, and I had a tight knit group of “friends” from elementary school. We all grew up together and still keep in touch. My mom ran into one of my friends mom today. She texted me and said “did you know that Chris and his wife are having twins? They are due the same day you are!” Followed by “Chris from elementary school”

Yes mom, I know Chris, I went to school with him for 13 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does a dad count?
FIL sent email about how wonderful their trip to the Amish country in PA was recently. "They don't have any blacks or hispanics in their world" like it was some sort of eutopia or something. Not the first racist shit he's said unfortunately.

Fwiw there are hispanic Mennonite congregations. I would be tempted to visit one with dad sometime..

To be fair, the dad just made a statement :the Amishes don't have blacks or hispanics in their world. It is a true statement according to his observation. If he visits hispanic congregation, his observation will be: There are no whites, blacks or Asians in their world. How is stating the fact is racist?

[Anonymous]

this is the best thread on DCUM!

[Anonymous]

My mom visited us in the Northeast where we had lots of wild turkeys in the neighborhood. Later we drive into Boston/Fenway park where there were lots of geese . She looks at them and says "these turkeys are much more attractive than the ones near your home "

My 7 year old was dying with laughter. To this day whenever we see geese we comment on the fine looking turkeys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does a dad count?
FIL sent email about how wonderful their trip to the Amish country in PA was recently. "They don't have any blacks or hispanics in their world" like it was some sort of eutopia or something. Not the first racist shit he's said unfortunately.

Fwiw there are hispanic Mennonite congregations. I would be tempted to visit one with dad sometime..

To be fair, the dad just made a statement :the Amishes don't have blacks or hispanics in their world. It is a true statement according to his observation. If he visits hispanic congregation, his observation will be: There are no whites, blacks or Asians in their world. How is stating the fact is racist?

It reads as pretty racist, and I think his daughter of all people would know exactly what he meant by that statement. If he visits a hispanic congregation, his "observation" might not be as you suppose it to be. I imagine his "fact" would be along the lines of "it's all a bunch of (insert slur here)." But you knew that.

[Anonymous]

This is a friend’s mom - my friend and her college boyfriend were baking Christmas gingerbread cookies with her mom. Just a cute, sweet, wholesome little Christmas family scene. And then her mom loudly announces “you know, sex between two people who love each other is a beautiful thing.” Then goes back to rolling out cookie dough.

[Anonymous]

My mom sometimes watches and feeds my 5 year old if I have to work late. Inevitably when I come to pick up my son, my mom will talk about how well he ate and how he has such a good appetite. The problem is the way she describes it : "Larlo was so hungry. I fixed him a burger patty and he totally went down on it." She uses that phrase to describe eating really well. I cannot tell her to stop saying it because then if have to explain why.

[Anonymous]

At some point my mom decided that the word 'reamed' was a fun, slangy, hip way to describe losing at her bunco club. That resulted in many loud, public statements along the following lines:

"Well, Barbara really just reamed me hard last night."
"Gosh, that Joan is just solid! I was reamed last night, just reamed!"
"Well, I got Marian back. I reamed her all the way last night. Her son is a doctor, you know."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom sometimes watches and feeds my 5 year old if I have to work late. Inevitably when I come to pick up my son, my mom will talk about how well he ate and how he has such a good appetite. The problem is the way she describes it : "Larlo was so hungry. I fixed him a burger patty and he totally went down on it." She uses that phrase to describe eating really well. I cannot tell her to stop saying it because then if have to explain why.

I could not explain that either!

[Anonymous]

When I was growing up my mom always referred to my dad’s frizzy hair as “kinky”. Ok so be it. But recently, my mom has started referring to my 10 year old nephews hair as kinky. Is it too late to stop this?

[Anonymous]

I don't want you to be my emotional caretaker. I just want you to be my caretaker and do my bidding.

[Anonymous]

Watching Wheel of Fortune together. One contestant is actually a couple -a black man and an asian woman. Grandma says -"well you don't see that pairing everyday". I look up and say what. She replies " a colored man and a Chinese woman. You know its all because of Obama. He made it OK for black people to be on TV. "

[Anonymous]

Why are so many of these moms racist? And why is it cute/funny?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom sometimes watches and feeds my 5 year old if I have to work late. Inevitably when I come to pick up my son, my mom will talk about how well he ate and how he has such a good appetite. The problem is the way she describes it : "Larlo was so hungry. I fixed him a burger patty and he totally went down on it." She uses that phrase to describe eating really well. I cannot tell her to stop saying it because then if have to explain why.

It's like a skit with deaf people.
Grandpa: "What? Larlo went down on Patty?!"
You: "Went to TOWN on a burger patty!"
Grandpa: "How's that? Went down?"
Grandma: "Cow's ass? went down?"
You: "WENT. TO. TOWN!!!"

[Anonymous]

My mother was in assisted living when GWB was running for president.

She never had an email account or dealt with the internet in any way.

On one of our many visits, we were watching the news together and GWB came on . . . she said "that man is a little bit slow on the dot com."

Maybe you had to be there but this is one of my fondest memories of her! And what I would give to have GWB back!