NCS Parents - "I wish I had known x" type advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All I know is I sat in my daughters's therapists office and thought to myself, wow she is so articulate ...why oh why does she have such low self esteem....I am thinking it is school. Waiting to hear what therapist thinks...more sessions needed.... How many are like us?

Seriously? My sisters and I were like this. Very intelligent - top of the class. Picked on relentlessly at our all girls' school (not NCS) for being "nerds." That actually didn't cause nearly the self esteem problems that my mom's relentless negativity toward us did. I'm sure it is convenient to blame the school, but maybe you should also examine all the other factors in her life.

[Anonymous]

21:41 what do you think we're doing? That is why we are taking her to therapy...and are you an NCS parent? Because if you are you would have some concept of what I am referring to...and btw this is the story for many at the school not just my dd. Maybe if she were a nerd she would have an easier time... Not even sure she is aware she is having a hard time...it is the undercurrent that concerns us...NCS is not something that the girl's should "survive". Get it?

[Anonymous]

Sorry reply for 21:42!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:21:41 what do you think we're doing? That is why we are taking her to therapy...and are you an NCS parent? Because if you are you would have some concept of what I am referring to...and btw this is the story for many at the school not just my dd. Maybe if she were a nerd she would have an easier time... Not even sure she is aware she is having a hard time...it is the undercurrent that concerns us...NCS is not something that the girl's should "survive". Get it?

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:21:41 what do you think we're doing? That is why we are taking her to therapy...and are you an NCS parent? Because if you are you would have some concept of what I am referring to...and btw this is the story for many at the school not just my dd. Maybe if she were a nerd she would have an easier time... Not even sure she is aware she is having a hard time...it is the undercurrent that concerns us...NCS is not something that the girl's should "survive". Get it?

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Our DD was on the nerdy side and it was easier for her; she was just ignored by most of the girls and she avoided all social situations. She loved her teachers and that was what got her through.

[Anonymous]

Why are all these cries for help reserved for the anonymous DCUM forum? Is anyone doing anything to change the culture at NCS?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are all these cries for help reserved for the anonymous DCUM forum? Is anyone doing anything to change the culture at NCS?

Most of us left and just kept going.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:21:41 what do you think we're doing? That is why we are taking her to therapy...and are you an NCS parent? Because if you are you would have some concept of what I am referring to...and btw this is the story for many at the school not just my dd. Maybe if she were a nerd she would have an easier time... Not even sure she is aware she is having a hard time...it is the undercurrent that concerns us...NCS is not something that the girl's should "survive". Get it?

Yes, I am an NCS parent, and what you said was "I am thinking it is school" - not that you were thinking it is a combination of other factors. I am not sure why you are so defensive in your response to me. My post followed directly on what you said, and you act as if I pulled something out of thin air. Blaming school exclusively seems odd to me since we all experience drops in self-esteem at various times in our lives, most especially our teen years when we are figuring out our place in the world. Expecting it not to is asking an awful lot of your daughter, much less the school.

Why are all these cries for help reserved for the anonymous DCUM forum? Is anyone doing anything to change the culture at NCS?

Exactly why some of us are questioning exactly how widespread "all" these cries for help are, or if they are somehow uniquely worse than they are in other DC schools. You would think that, if something is all over an internet board, there would be more people talking about actual examples IRL.

[Anonymous]

I'd be ashamed to admit that I fought so hard and paid so much to put my DD through an NCS experience that was so brutal.

Fortunately I was well aware of the reputation of NCS and that school was not an option for my DD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:21:41 what do you think we're doing? That is why we are taking her to therapy...and are you an NCS parent? Because if you are you would have some concept of what I am referring to...and btw this is the story for many at the school not just my dd. Maybe if she were a nerd she would have an easier time... Not even sure she is aware she is having a hard time...it is the undercurrent that concerns us...NCS is not something that the girl's should "survive". Get it?

Yes, I am an NCS parent, and what you said was "I am thinking it is school" - not that you were thinking it is a combination of other factors. I am not sure why you are so defensive in your response to me. My post followed directly on what you said, and you act as if I pulled something out of thin air. Blaming school exclusively seems odd to me since we all experience drops in self-esteem at various times in our lives, most especially our teen years when we are figuring out our place in the world. Expecting it not to is asking an awful lot of your daughter, much less the school.

Why are all these cries for help reserved for the anonymous DCUM forum? Is anyone doing anything to change the culture at NCS?

Exactly why some of us are questioning exactly how widespread "all" these cries for help are, or if they are somehow uniquely worse than they are in other DC schools. You would think that, if something is all over an internet board, there would be more people talking about actual examples IRL.

If I gave actual examples I would identify my DD.

I guess I can't convince you that there are quite a few of us, and that I have had quite a few conversations with parents of girls in my DD's class who feel the same way. I used to think it must be like this at other schools but then my other DC reached the upper years at another school and I had direct experience with a contrast.

There is always a range. In a happy environment, there will be kids with a range of happiness and outliers who are unhappy. In an unhappy environment there will be kids with a range of unhappiness and outliers who are happy. NCS is the latter. I am convinced that more girls than is typical experience serious mental health issues. Kids everywhere experience depression/anxiety. But in an unhealthy environment more will be tipped over the edge and the depth of the issues will be deeper. Mental illness always has a physical/genetic component and an environmental component. Always, even schizophrenia. For many girls with a predisposition, NCS provides that environmental component. If you took it away, you would have a different dynamic. Other girls are just unhappy.

I don't accept the fact that teen girls are supposed to be un happy. I did while my DD was at NCS and I really regret it. No one is supposed to be unhappy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are all these cries for help reserved for the anonymous DCUM forum? Is anyone doing anything to change the culture at NCS?

These concerns have been raised with school personnel. I know that I spoke with my child's advisor. Then child told me advisor was one of the worst offenders as far as workload and academic pressure was concerned. NCS does not want to ease up on the pressure because it may effect the college outcomes. I also think they just do not like to be criticized.

[Anonymous]

I know it's difficult to admit that our DD is not up to the challenge, but did any of you disgruntled NCS moms consider the possibility that your daughters might be better off in a less rigorous school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know it's difficult to admit that our DD is not up to the challenge, but did any of you disgruntled NCS moms consider the possibility that your daughters might be better off in a less rigorous school?

Exactly. My daughter has aspirations far beyond playing tennis and exercising to the latest Denise Austin video. If she can't survive high school imagine what a miserable failure she would be as a CEO or political leader. There are plenty of easy schools, NCS is not one of them.

[Anonymous]

7:03 you seem so knowledgable, please do share your expertise on survivorship at NCS, no doubt your DD thriving?
Please share your positive experiences with the school! Without identifying yourself of course,I think you are a troll...or your daughter has not yet started at the school...let me guess, incoming....?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know it's difficult to admit that our DD is not up to the challenge, but did any of you disgruntled NCS moms consider the possibility that your daughters might be better off in a less rigorous school?

Exactly. My daughter has aspirations far beyond playing tennis and exercising to the latest Denise Austin video. If she can't survive high school imagine what a miserable failure she would be as a CEO or political leader. There are plenty of easy schools, NCS is not one of them.

New poster here. NCS Mom, are you really suggesting that all the parents posting here about negative experiences at NCS must have daughters with "no aspirations beyond playing tennis and exercising to the latest Denise Austin video"? I really hope I've misunderstood your comment; please tell me you were saying something more constructive.