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NCS Parents - "I wish I had known x" type advice.
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Anonymous
| I guess calling girls Hos is petty if you are- what? I don't know. You don't seem like a concerned parent. Maybe you are a parent of a boy who does it and you don't want to correct him ? So you are part of the problem. |
Anonymous
| Nope, wrong on all counts. The level of public kvetching by this crowd is in a class by itself. The alarmists who are trying to draw a weak comparison between STA and the recent events at UVA are just a bit over their skis. Pull it back a bit, get some perspective and take your complaints to the people who can change the system, if you care that much. Or are you too lazy or too afraid? |
Anonymous
| Did try to do so. They are completely uninterested. At NCS we were told that the effort to fix the situation was going to be taken care of by the parents who had children at both schools. I contacted the StA dean in charge of this stuff- nothing. Nothing done nothing said Nothing. As the post is entitled: this is something I wish I had known before I sent my daughter there. I would not have sent her there. |
Anonymous
Are you saying this still occurs? If so, I would get in touch with the STA Upper School Head (name available on website). I've seen dances advertised but not with this sort of name. If it's being done in a way to hide it from admin (which could be the case, given social media), then the first step is bringing it to the school's attention. They are good kids but even good kids make mistakes and can mistake offensiveness for humor. I think the school would want to stop this sort of crude double entendre and would take it seriously. |
Anonymous
| As I said- I did speak to them about it several years ago and got nowhere. It was not of interest to them. Yes they said it was meant as a "joke". It was a joke made by the head prefect. A person they had given a leadership position to. No consequences for him. No apology to the community, no discussion of it with any of the students or parents, just- oh its a joke. Landon has done the same thing, its not just St Albans. But, if I had known that the school would do nothing about it, I would not have put my child there. Yes children do stupid things. But the problem with NCS is that the things aren't corrected. Seriously, I was told that it was up to the parents who had boys to take it up with St Albans to make the changes. Parents with girls were? Not to get involved. |
Anonymous
Where do you think the boys in those noxious fraternities come from? They are selected from the boys from expensive private schools. Do you think the richest fraternities stay rich by choosing pledges from the scholarship kids? Calling a woman a ho and everyone lets it slide. A step away from treating a woman like a ho. Telling people it's not a funny joke is not enough. It has damaged people in the community and the community as a whole . Where is that prefect now? |
Anonymous
Following this thread back, it started as a statement that St. Albans dances routinely and pervasively had offensive names, phrased in the present tense. When people expressed concern and asked for details, the poster responded that at some time in the past one of the class officers (the prefect) had made an offensive joke about one dance and, it appears, the school followed up with the student to make sure it did not happen again. I think schools need to supervise this stuff and react and take measures when somebody steps over the line, but this seems like an exaggerated description of a situation where a particular student made an announcement (or whatever) using the offensive double entendre. If you work around teenagers, it is a constant battle -- which is all part of growing up -- to correct, to teach, to correct again, to hope there's some ttaking on board of the prior lesson, to correct again. Generally, the kids turn out very well. Let's not get too hyperbolic over this (while acknowledging that when it happened -- some unspecified number of years ago -- it was offensive and, perhaps, the school did not react as strongly as some believe they should have). |
Anonymous
|
All the boys followed up with the joke. It's not a matter of a single Facebook posting. It was pervasive. This is not about one child's mistake. It's been allowed to go on so much it's the culture now.
I went on a tour there once and a boy in6 grade was asked in Spanish was asked what he had done over the weekend. He responded that he had a hot date with some other boys mother. The teacher said and did nothing. I waited for some correction. He should sent from the room for humiliating the other boy. I was possibly the only Spanish speaker on the tour but I was disgusted. We continued on the tour. A while later the Spanish teacher showed up and apologized. But why was she apologizing? He should have been sent to apologize. From your post it seems like you work with kids. I think letting this stuff go has sent the wrong message and now everyone says. Oh the girls drink too much. Oh the girls dress like sluts. Well the boys are trained up to be disrespectful over a period of years. That's the message. Not enough is being done. |
Anonymous
| DD recently graduated. I was aware of the dance being called Ho Ho Ho, and was disgusted, but didn't know the origins. |
Anonymous
| Not to change the subject but why did Ncs get rid of European history? In order to take it the girls have to go over into St Albans . |
Anonymous
I think the department's rationale was that, given that history is not a required course every year (it's a 2.5 year requirement), they wanted to offer the World Geography and Modern World History combination instead. I believe the Modern World History course spends a good deal of time on European history. For a while I think European history as a full-year course maybe continued as an elective, but the numbers of students signing up on that basis were quite low? So they decided not to offer it and instead the option exists to take it at St. Albans. There is generally cross-registration between NCS and St. Albans for all of the History and English electives, and most electives generally. |
Anonymous
| My daughter took world American and euro and still never got to ww2. This is a problem. |
Anonymous
They offer more senior-year electives now in place of that class (which had low enrollment)... give the students more variety in what they can take. STA has the AP Euro class NCS has the AP Human Geography, STA has the economics courses and NCS has the history semester electives, my daughter did not take any but her advisor mentioned something like history of war or something like 20th century history when we conferenced a few years ago. It took away a level of redundancy that lead to two under enrolled courses at each school and gave the students more elective choice options. |
Anonymous
|
i wish I knew:
1. How many posters are actually on this thread, instead of people who post the same things 1-4 times on each page. 2. How many are trolls who are making it all up. Including, but not limited to, the guy who says NCS girls are there because their parents want them to marry StAs boys, and the person who didn't know the cafeteria name. How many of the other posts are from these winning people? Reports that any girl is bullied anywhere concern me, as the mom of a daughter (who was accepted at NCS but went somewhere else). However, this thread doesn't scream "credible" to me or, to apparently, others here. It's hard to separate the trolls and the 80s alums with axes to grind from the posters with legitimate experiences. |
Anonymous
There has been some significant sock-puppetting, it appears -- the moderators (after potential sock-puppetting was reported) deleted a bunch of repetitive posts by someone using the same writing style as the 22:56 poster who said her child was bullied nine years ago. I've wanted in the past to have substantive discussions about what NCS can and should do by way of change (vs. what might be structurally unchangeable as a very academic all-girls' school) but it seems impossible as such discussions seem to get taken over by people who assert that there can be nothing good about NCS at all, or who make everything into personal attacks on school personnel. I also respect that alums from the past may have had very negative experiences (sometimes relating to the relationship with St. Albans as the brother school), and I don't see that as necessarily having an axe to grind, but sometimes there seems to be a reluctance to assume that some things could have changed over time. I've concluded that NCS is one of a handful of "hot button" schools (for boys, Landon comes to mind), where the threads often become of decreasing utility rather quickly. There's probably truths to be found, but there's a lot of obscuring noise as well. |