NCS Parents - "I wish I had known x" type advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm someone who has posted positive comments in the past. I don't think the school is perfect but do have a lot of good things to say about it. A few people always respond with stock posts like "your daughter must be mean herself" or "your daughter must not be in high school" so I have basically given up. I would just give the not very original advice for people thinking about the school to ask around and try to talk to a range of families before making assumptions.

+1

Anyone who takes anonymous internet musings as gospel never learned the basics of critical thinking.

Mother of alumn here and I have not attacked the posters who praise the school although in my direct experience there are very, very few such parents by the time the girls graduate. I don't doubt that some girls actually get through the place happy. I can think of a handful in DD's class. But it took the perspective of having another child at another school to realize how warped NCS is. There are unhappy students at every school but the sheer overwhelming numbers at NCS are highly unusual. There were girls whom I assumed were happy from outward appearances and then had private conversations with their parents and learned they were as unhappy as my DD. They do get certain things right and I think the faculty is very caring. But I have never seen a school fail in the precise ways that NCS does. There are schools that are disorganized -- that is NOT NCS. There are schools with lackluster academics and extra-curriculars -- that is NOT NCS. The way in which NCS fails is that it is highly detrimental to the emotional well-being of the girls. Everything about the culture and atmosphere of the place tears them down, even the highly successful girls (and my DD was one of those). Honestly, I don't think they care about the unhappiness of the girls as long as they can rack up the impressive college acceptances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't have a daughter at NCS yet -currently at Beauvoir and I have a son at STA.
My question to the parents with that find NCS so unsatisfactory for their kids-why don't remove them fom the school? Surely their overall well being and happiness should stump whatever they are getting in academics. There are so many other academically sound schools. Though I am not in your shoes ( kids love their current schools), if my kids were as unhappy as yours seem to be I would not hesitate to move them. I am really curious.

We didn't change schools for two reasons; 1) she was optimistic it would improve over time (it didn't) and 2) she did not want to transfer and deal with being the new kid again. I realize the 2nd reason is weak. I wish I had encouraged her to bite the bullet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm someone who has posted positive comments in the past. I don't think the school is perfect but do have a lot of good things to say about it. A few people always respond with stock posts like "your daughter must be mean herself" or "your daughter must not be in high school" so I have basically given up. I would just give the not very original advice for people thinking about the school to ask around and try to talk to a range of families before making assumptions.

+1

Anyone who takes anonymous internet musings as gospel never learned the basics of critical thinking.

Mother of alumn here and I have not attacked the posters who praise the school although in my direct experience there are very, very few such parents by the time the girls graduate. I don't doubt that some girls actually get through the place happy. I can think of a handful in DD's class. But it took the perspective of having another child at another school to realize how warped NCS is. There are unhappy students at every school but the sheer overwhelming numbers at NCS are highly unusual. There were girls whom I assumed were happy from outward appearances and then had private conversations with their parents and learned they were as unhappy as my DD. They do get certain things right and I think the faculty is very caring. But I have never seen a school fail in the precise ways that NCS does. There are schools that are disorganized -- that is NOT NCS. There are schools with lackluster academics and extra-curriculars -- that is NOT NCS. The way in which NCS fails is that it is highly detrimental to the emotional well-being of the girls. Everything about the culture and atmosphere of the place tears them down, even the highly successful girls (and my DD was one of those). Honestly, I don't think they care about the unhappiness of the girls as long as they can rack up the impressive college acceptances.

So true and so well said. + 100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm someone who has posted positive comments in the past. I don't think the school is perfect but do have a lot of good things to say about it. A few people always respond with stock posts like "your daughter must be mean herself" or "your daughter must not be in high school" so I have basically given up. I would just give the not very original advice for people thinking about the school to ask around and try to talk to a range of families before making assumptions.

+1

Anyone who takes anonymous internet musings as gospel never learned the basics of critical thinking.

Mother of alumn here and I have not attacked the posters who praise the school although in my direct experience there are very, very few such parents by the time the girls graduate. I don't doubt that some girls actually get through the place happy. I can think of a handful in DD's class. But it took the perspective of having another child at another school to realize how warped NCS is. There are unhappy students at every school but the sheer overwhelming numbers at NCS are highly unusual. There were girls whom I assumed were happy from outward appearances and then had private conversations with their parents and learned they were as unhappy as my DD. They do get certain things right and I think the faculty is very caring. But I have never seen a school fail in the precise ways that NCS does. There are schools that are disorganized -- that is NOT NCS. There are schools with lackluster academics and extra-curriculars -- that is NOT NCS. The way in which NCS fails is that it is highly detrimental to the emotional well-being of the girls. Everything about the culture and atmosphere of the place tears them down, even the highly successful girls (and my DD was one of those). Honestly, I don't think they care about the unhappiness of the girls as long as they can rack up the impressive college acceptances.

Perfectly said. The emotional price is high and completely unnecessary. I wont bring up the specific toll it takes on the physical and mental health of the girls, but it is staggering. I am sorry, but those in charge need to take this seriously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm someone who has posted positive comments in the past. I don't think the school is perfect but do have a lot of good things to say about it. A few people always respond with stock posts like "your daughter must be mean herself" or "your daughter must not be in high school" so I have basically given up. I would just give the not very original advice for people thinking about the school to ask around and try to talk to a range of families before making assumptions.

+1

Anyone who takes anonymous internet musings as gospel never learned the basics of critical thinking.

29 pages and counting of detailed first hand accounts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm someone who has posted positive comments in the past. I don't think the school is perfect but do have a lot of good things to say about it. A few people always respond with stock posts like "your daughter must be mean herself" or "your daughter must not be in high school" so I have basically given up. I would just give the not very original advice for people thinking about the school to ask around and try to talk to a range of families before making assumptions.

+1

Anyone who takes anonymous internet musings as gospel never learned the basics of critical thinking.

29 pages and counting of detailed first hand accounts.

Sure. And no one is sock puppeting. Ever.

[Anonymous]

10:48 You might want to go post another eyeroll on the other NCS thread.

Methinks the sock puppet does protest too much.

[Anonymous]

Great teachers, wonderful academic atmosphere. Nice that classes are a refuge from teenage boys but there are still dating opps nearby. Bt something about the atmosphere was toxic. Prob the sleep deprivation. Btwn classes, five hours of hw a night, two hours of sports a days, and several hours of extra currics a day, I averaged around five hours sleep a night. It was brutal and unnecessarily stressful. I wish I had done less extra currics, that would have been ok, but they made us feel like if we did not do a million things we would go to a terrible college

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:10:48 You might want to go post another eyeroll on the other NCS thread.

Methinks the sock puppet does protest too much.

I am not a sock puppet. Sock puppets attempt to disguise themselves as different people. Prithee, learn the definition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Great teachers, wonderful academic atmosphere. Nice that classes are a refuge from teenage boys but there are still dating opps nearby. Bt something about the atmosphere was toxic. Prob the sleep deprivation. Btwn classes, five hours of hw a night, two hours of sports a days, and several hours of extra currics a day, I averaged around five hours sleep a night. It was brutal and unnecessarily stressful. I wish I had done less extra currics, that would have been ok, but they made us feel like if we did not do a million things we would go to a terrible college

Wow is this true? Five hours a night of homework?

[Anonymous]

Used to be. Parents started to protest and the school toned it down a bit a few years ago.

[Anonymous]

I have posted a few times on this thread but I know there are at least several other parents of alums because they aren't me. What I find interesting is how many of these posts I could have written. The concerns may not be universal but they are awfully prevalent and consistent.

[Anonymous]

The other related thread seems to point to a middle school social problems. For those new families whose girls are about to wrap up 4th grade, how did it go?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Great teachers, wonderful academic atmosphere. Nice that classes are a refuge from teenage boys but there are still dating opps nearby. Bt something about the atmosphere was toxic. Prob the sleep deprivation. Btwn classes, five hours of hw a night, two hours of sports a days, and several hours of extra currics a day, I averaged around five hours sleep a night. It was brutal and unnecessarily stressful. I wish I had done less extra currics, that would have been ok, but they made us feel like if we did not do a million things we would go to a terrible college

Wow is this true? Five hours a night of homework?

NP. My daughter is an alum and she certainly averaged 5 hours a night of homework. She was also doing sports and had minor roles in arts activities so she often turned in at about 1 or 2am. Many of her friends had a similar schedule.

[Anonymous]

All I know is I sat in my daughters's therapists office and thought to myself, wow she is so articulate ...why oh why does she have such low self esteem....I am thinking it is school. Waiting to hear what therapist thinks...more sessions needed.... How many are like us?