Harsh comment on being a Sahm

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well... what do you do all day when they are in school? They are teens - go back to work.

This is very insulting. Let me enlighten you:
My kids (one elementary and one middle school) have different school start and end times so it ends up they are both gone 6 hours on school days. Here is what I “do all day” as you so condescendingly put it:
Hour 1: clean up kitchen, do dishes, start first of many loads of laundry, tidy house (I clean my own house so every day I do a deep clean in one room/bathroom)
Hour 2: walk dog, switch out laundry, continue any unfinished cleaning
Hour 3: grocery store (one of 4 places I shop)
Hoot 4: put groceries away, start prepping dinner, switch out laundry
Hour 5: make appointments for family, respond to all kid-related emails (sports, bday invites, doc appointments)
Hour 6: prep sports bags/clothes/car snacks/ water bottles for kids afternoon activities

Then I go pick up my kids and my SECOND SHIFT of parenting begins. This lasts about 6-7 hours, driving them to activities, walking dog again at those locations, then at home making dinner, feeding everyone, cleaning up kitchen, helping with homework, overseeing bedtime routine, doing the social-emotional bonding they both want every night, until actual bedtime.

So this is how I look at it, and it’s how my husband describes my life: I basically have 2 part time jobs, totaling 14 hours of total work. The first is running the household and the second is the hands-on parenting.

Hope this helps everyone reading this thread to understand that SAHPs deserve respect. This is one of the hardest jobs in the world. What other job can you think of that comes with no training, very little resources or support, no sick days, no days off, no pay, and very little appreciation?

So you cook, clean, do laundry and grocery shop. Most working people do this too. Like, I don’t get why you think this is such an accomplishment?

DP. I don't understand why this is such a debate or a competition about who's better or does more. Nobody is saying all the things a SAHP does can't get done by parents working outside the home. Someone asked what the SAHM does all day and she (and others) answered the question. Why? Because working parents don't seem to believe that SAHPs are busy at all and just sit around half the day.

Goody for you for doing it all. And good for the SAHPs who do all that they do. What many SAHPs here aren't including is all their volunteer activities around their kids' schools and activities, which can be as much as part-time to full-time-work-equivalent.

It's not "a debate" about who does more. That's obvious. Not up for debate. It isn't the SAHMommies.

Only in the US do people want a medal for bragging about how busy they are.
Leisure time is valued in most of the world

This is not about being busy. This is about how a capable, well educated woman can and ought to contribute to society beyond her nuclear family once the children are teenagers and there are no extenuating circumstances. Frankly, none of the excuses is particularly compelling. And the attempts to justify SAHMs under these circumstances are laughable. Just admit that you care more about the lifestyle than you care about contributing to society, that your higher ed degree was a bit of a waste on you, that you don't care that much about setting an example to your own kids about women holding professional status in the workforce, and that you are ultimately not that troubled by the economic risks of SAH. It's the utter intellectual dishonesty of SAHMs that amuse me.

DP here and correct, I only care about myself and my family. Don’t you? My working or not working has zero impact on society. That’s true for most careers, unless you’re a world-renowned physician or researcher or something at that level. Which I certainly am not, and I’m assuming you aren’t either just by virtue of the fact that there are very few people in those fields.

How would you feel if we went back to the 1950s and all your doctors were men, all your professors were men, all the lawyers were men, all the bankers were men, all the business owners were men, etc., etc. 99% of these professions are not "world-renowned," but I'd like to think that you are glad that you live in a world where millions women have rejected your attitude that their working has zero impact on society.

To be honest, I think kids would be less of mess, if more families had a SAHP. Have you been in a public school lately? Behavior is bananas. Largely because of poor parenting at home.

And here we have it, the white SAHM who voted for Trump because we need to make America great again...

Tradwives of the world actively making it worse for women everywhere. Sigh. It’s sad that people actually believe the world would be better off without women in professional positions.

I mean, women will never get ahead because of catty women like you always tearing other women down. Women who shit on SAHMs or housewives are the ultimate “pick me!” girls, but you have your heads so far up your own asses you’ll never even consider contemplating the internalized misogyny which drives your worldview.

Lean into that patriarchy, girlboss. Make the rich male overlords of the world richer and then act shocked and pretend it’s the housewives holding women down

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s rude. But if I was at school all day and getting nagged to spend my evening doing homework by a grown adult who had nothing major of note going on all day I’d definitely be thinking the same thing in my head.

I was a sahm when my kids were little, but let’s BFFR parenting trend is nowhere near that. I’m the least stressed I’ve ever been now that my kids are 14 and 17. I have friends who are stressed and seem to “do a lot”, but it’s really bc their kids are entitled and spoiled mostly (even though they are good kids at heart) bc they’ve been catered to and not expected to pull their weight. Bc we worked, mine had to get themselves to and from school and this taught them a lot. Being constantly available for your little passenger princesses isn’t the hallmark of good parenting.

I know sahm with older kids and almost every single one are control freaks who despite all this time on their hands, were hard to make plans with bc they turn tiny tasks of daily life into a big deal. They make SAHM a job like a government worker lol. 2 hours of work turns into a 6 hour job but that’s not bc what they do actually is a full time job.

The sahm of older kids I know I don’t think could hack it in a real job which is why many of them don’t get a job even when the kids are gone.

On another note - I’ve seen too many times long time marriages break up and women get screwed so I’d never do this unless I had personal family wealth to fall back on. Men will turn on you on a dime.

+1
No one is parenting ft while kids are in school, they just can’t work a real job anymore. It’s much easier to let someone else bring in the cash!

What do you do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well... what do you do all day when they are in school? They are teens - go back to work.

This is very insulting. Let me enlighten you:
My kids (one elementary and one middle school) have different school start and end times so it ends up they are both gone 6 hours on school days. Here is what I “do all day” as you so condescendingly put it:
Hour 1: clean up kitchen, do dishes, start first of many loads of laundry, tidy house (I clean my own house so every day I do a deep clean in one room/bathroom)
Hour 2: walk dog, switch out laundry, continue any unfinished cleaning
Hour 3: grocery store (one of 4 places I shop)
Hoot 4: put groceries away, start prepping dinner, switch out laundry
Hour 5: make appointments for family, respond to all kid-related emails (sports, bday invites, doc appointments)
Hour 6: prep sports bags/clothes/car snacks/ water bottles for kids afternoon activities

Then I go pick up my kids and my SECOND SHIFT of parenting begins. This lasts about 6-7 hours, driving them to activities, walking dog again at those locations, then at home making dinner, feeding everyone, cleaning up kitchen, helping with homework, overseeing bedtime routine, doing the social-emotional bonding they both want every night, until actual bedtime.

So this is how I look at it, and it’s how my husband describes my life: I basically have 2 part time jobs, totaling 14 hours of total work. The first is running the household and the second is the hands-on parenting.

Hope this helps everyone reading this thread to understand that SAHPs deserve respect. This is one of the hardest jobs in the world. What other job can you think of that comes with no training, very little resources or support, no sick days, no days off, no pay, and very little appreciation?

So you cook, clean, do laundry and grocery shop. Most working people do this too. Like, I don’t get why you think this is such an accomplishment?

DP. I don't understand why this is such a debate or a competition about who's better or does more. Nobody is saying all the things a SAHP does can't get done by parents working outside the home. Someone asked what the SAHM does all day and she (and others) answered the question. Why? Because working parents don't seem to believe that SAHPs are busy at all and just sit around half the day.

Goody for you for doing it all. And good for the SAHPs who do all that they do. What many SAHPs here aren't including is all their volunteer activities around their kids' schools and activities, which can be as much as part-time to full-time-work-equivalent.

It's not "a debate" about who does more. That's obvious. Not up for debate. It isn't the SAHMommies.

Only in the US do people want a medal for bragging about how busy they are.
Leisure time is valued in most of the world

This is not about being busy. This is about how a capable, well educated woman can and ought to contribute to society beyond her nuclear family once the children are teenagers and there are no extenuating circumstances. Frankly, none of the excuses is particularly compelling. And the attempts to justify SAHMs under these circumstances are laughable. Just admit that you care more about the lifestyle than you care about contributing to society, that your higher ed degree was a bit of a waste on you, that you don't care that much about setting an example to your own kids about women holding professional status in the workforce, and that you are ultimately not that troubled by the economic risks of SAH. It's the utter intellectual dishonesty of SAHMs that amuse me.

Your work isn’t the huge contribution to society you think it is. I prefer my contribution to be focuses on raising great kids. But you do you; no one would miss you at work if you quit tomorrow, though.

FYI, the same kind of idiotic reasoning is why we have a measles outbreak. How individuals, you and those around you, make decisions does have an impact on the world we all inhabit.

What do you do?

[Anonymous]

Part time physician 3 days/wk.
one morning per wk to organize schedules and everything for the week.
No, society would not fall apart without my work but that's not how a job works and not WHY i work. Wouldn't fall apart but many many patients are better off because I am their doctor. Being a SAHM woul bore me to tears and depression. I am intellectual and need the intellectual stimulation.

Kids stuff is well organized and I'm on top of it. Both my kids are excelling at school, sports, community service, and the arts. Each has a great group of friends. They are well behaved and kind. So, no it's not only SAHM who have well behaved kids. In fact, I see many SAHM kids who are NOT well behaved and have poor values.

I have nothing against SAHM and am friends with several. One way is not better absolutely so this thread is just weird. Each person does what is necessary for them - I need the intellectual stimulation and love what I do. I don't nedd it for the money.

I feel sorry for women who are so insecure in their SAHMness that they feel the need to put down working moms. Rarely do working moms even talk about the SAHM thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well... what do you do all day when they are in school? They are teens - go back to work.

This is very insulting. Let me enlighten you:
My kids (one elementary and one middle school) have different school start and end times so it ends up they are both gone 6 hours on school days. Here is what I “do all day” as you so condescendingly put it:
Hour 1: clean up kitchen, do dishes, start first of many loads of laundry, tidy house (I clean my own house so every day I do a deep clean in one room/bathroom)
Hour 2: walk dog, switch out laundry, continue any unfinished cleaning
Hour 3: grocery store (one of 4 places I shop)
Hoot 4: put groceries away, start prepping dinner, switch out laundry
Hour 5: make appointments for family, respond to all kid-related emails (sports, bday invites, doc appointments)
Hour 6: prep sports bags/clothes/car snacks/ water bottles for kids afternoon activities

Then I go pick up my kids and my SECOND SHIFT of parenting begins. This lasts about 6-7 hours, driving them to activities, walking dog again at those locations, then at home making dinner, feeding everyone, cleaning up kitchen, helping with homework, overseeing bedtime routine, doing the social-emotional bonding they both want every night, until actual bedtime.

So this is how I look at it, and it’s how my husband describes my life: I basically have 2 part time jobs, totaling 14 hours of total work. The first is running the household and the second is the hands-on parenting.

Hope this helps everyone reading this thread to understand that SAHPs deserve respect. This is one of the hardest jobs in the world. What other job can you think of that comes with no training, very little resources or support, no sick days, no days off, no pay, and very little appreciation?

So you cook, clean, do laundry and grocery shop. Most working people do this too. Like, I don’t get why you think this is such an accomplishment?

DP. I don't understand why this is such a debate or a competition about who's better or does more. Nobody is saying all the things a SAHP does can't get done by parents working outside the home. Someone asked what the SAHM does all day and she (and others) answered the question. Why? Because working parents don't seem to believe that SAHPs are busy at all and just sit around half the day.

Goody for you for doing it all. And good for the SAHPs who do all that they do. What many SAHPs here aren't including is all their volunteer activities around their kids' schools and activities, which can be as much as part-time to full-time-work-equivalent.

It's not "a debate" about who does more. That's obvious. Not up for debate. It isn't the SAHMommies.

Only in the US do people want a medal for bragging about how busy they are.
Leisure time is valued in most of the world

This is not about being busy. This is about how a capable, well educated woman can and ought to contribute to society beyond her nuclear family once the children are teenagers and there are no extenuating circumstances. Frankly, none of the excuses is particularly compelling. And the attempts to justify SAHMs under these circumstances are laughable. Just admit that you care more about the lifestyle than you care about contributing to society, that your higher ed degree was a bit of a waste on you, that you don't care that much about setting an example to your own kids about women holding professional status in the workforce, and that you are ultimately not that troubled by the economic risks of SAH. It's the utter intellectual dishonesty of SAHMs that amuse me.

This is your opinion, but it’s really none of your business. This is the same as someone clucking their tongue at a mom of an infant that she “ought” to stay home and not let strangers raise her baby. That’s also none of your business (or mine).

As for finances, I don’t really get this argument. Presumably the couple has savings. Joint & individual bank accounts. Investments. The woman has degrees. In the event of a divorce, assets are split, there is alimony, and the woman goes to find a job with her degree. Not saying it’s easy, but it’s certainly not as though she’s likely to be out on the street.

LOL! Have you read threads on here? Women actively DONT get jobs because it lowers their alimony 🙄 seriously these are just lazy gold diggers, you’re being disingenuous here.

Are you joking? I’ve been on plenty of divorce threads. The majority opinion is that if a woman sees divorce on the horizon, it is time to get her ducks in a row career-wise.
Receiving alimony in a divorce is on the wane and obviously not a long term solution.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Part time physician 3 days/wk.
one morning per wk to organize schedules and everything for the week.
No, society would not fall apart without my work but that's not how a job works and not WHY i work. Wouldn't fall apart but many many patients are better off because I am their doctor. Being a SAHM woul bore me to tears and depression. I am intellectual and need the intellectual stimulation.

Kids stuff is well organized and I'm on top of it. Both my kids are excelling at school, sports, community service, and the arts. Each has a great group of friends. They are well behaved and kind. So, no it's not only SAHM who have well behaved kids. In fact, I see many SAHM kids who are NOT well behaved and have poor values.

I have nothing against SAHM and am friends with several. One way is not better absolutely so this thread is just weird. Each person does what is necessary for them - I need the intellectual stimulation and love what I do. I don't nedd it for the money.

I feel sorry for women who are so insecure in their SAHMness that they feel the need to put down working moms. Rarely do working moms even talk about the SAHM thing.

Who is doing this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well... what do you do all day when they are in school? They are teens - go back to work.

This is very insulting. Let me enlighten you:
My kids (one elementary and one middle school) have different school start and end times so it ends up they are both gone 6 hours on school days. Here is what I “do all day” as you so condescendingly put it:
Hour 1: clean up kitchen, do dishes, start first of many loads of laundry, tidy house (I clean my own house so every day I do a deep clean in one room/bathroom)
Hour 2: walk dog, switch out laundry, continue any unfinished cleaning
Hour 3: grocery store (one of 4 places I shop)
Hoot 4: put groceries away, start prepping dinner, switch out laundry
Hour 5: make appointments for family, respond to all kid-related emails (sports, bday invites, doc appointments)
Hour 6: prep sports bags/clothes/car snacks/ water bottles for kids afternoon activities

Then I go pick up my kids and my SECOND SHIFT of parenting begins. This lasts about 6-7 hours, driving them to activities, walking dog again at those locations, then at home making dinner, feeding everyone, cleaning up kitchen, helping with homework, overseeing bedtime routine, doing the social-emotional bonding they both want every night, until actual bedtime.

So this is how I look at it, and it’s how my husband describes my life: I basically have 2 part time jobs, totaling 14 hours of total work. The first is running the household and the second is the hands-on parenting.

Hope this helps everyone reading this thread to understand that SAHPs deserve respect. This is one of the hardest jobs in the world. What other job can you think of that comes with no training, very little resources or support, no sick days, no days off, no pay, and very little appreciation?

So you cook, clean, do laundry and grocery shop. Most working people do this too. Like, I don’t get why you think this is such an accomplishment?

DP. I don't understand why this is such a debate or a competition about who's better or does more. Nobody is saying all the things a SAHP does can't get done by parents working outside the home. Someone asked what the SAHM does all day and she (and others) answered the question. Why? Because working parents don't seem to believe that SAHPs are busy at all and just sit around half the day.

Goody for you for doing it all. And good for the SAHPs who do all that they do. What many SAHPs here aren't including is all their volunteer activities around their kids' schools and activities, which can be as much as part-time to full-time-work-equivalent.

It's not "a debate" about who does more. That's obvious. Not up for debate. It isn't the SAHMommies.

Only in the US do people want a medal for bragging about how busy they are.
Leisure time is valued in most of the world

This is not about being busy. This is about how a capable, well educated woman can and ought to contribute to society beyond her nuclear family once the children are teenagers and there are no extenuating circumstances. Frankly, none of the excuses is particularly compelling. And the attempts to justify SAHMs under these circumstances are laughable. Just admit that you care more about the lifestyle than you care about contributing to society, that your higher ed degree was a bit of a waste on you, that you don't care that much about setting an example to your own kids about women holding professional status in the workforce, and that you are ultimately not that troubled by the economic risks of SAH. It's the utter intellectual dishonesty of SAHMs that amuse me.

Your work isn’t the huge contribution to society you think it is. I prefer my contribution to be focuses on raising great kids. But you do you; no one would miss you at work if you quit tomorrow, though.

FYI, the same kind of idiotic reasoning is why we have a measles outbreak. How individuals, you and those around you, make decisions does have an impact on the world we all inhabit.

What do you do?

I'm an editor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Part time physician 3 days/wk.
one morning per wk to organize schedules and everything for the week.
No, society would not fall apart without my work but that's not how a job works and not WHY i work. Wouldn't fall apart but many many patients are better off because I am their doctor. Being a SAHM woul bore me to tears and depression. I am intellectual and need the intellectual stimulation.

Kids stuff is well organized and I'm on top of it. Both my kids are excelling at school, sports, community service, and the arts. Each has a great group of friends. They are well behaved and kind. So, no it's not only SAHM who have well behaved kids. In fact, I see many SAHM kids who are NOT well behaved and have poor values.

I have nothing against SAHM and am friends with several. One way is not better absolutely so this thread is just weird. Each person does what is necessary for them - I need the intellectual stimulation and love what I do. I don't nedd it for the money.

I feel sorry for women who are so insecure in their SAHMness that they feel the need to put down working moms. Rarely do working moms even talk about the SAHM thing.

LOL glad you find looking at other peoples’ buttholes and blood and pus so stimulating. Also LOL that you can only hack working three days a week and one of those days is spent in that oh so intellectually stimulating exercise of “organizing schedules”…

You sound lazy and kind of dumb. People who refer to themselves as intellectual are usually compensating for something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well... what do you do all day when they are in school? They are teens - go back to work.

This is very insulting. Let me enlighten you:
My kids (one elementary and one middle school) have different school start and end times so it ends up they are both gone 6 hours on school days. Here is what I “do all day” as you so condescendingly put it:
Hour 1: clean up kitchen, do dishes, start first of many loads of laundry, tidy house (I clean my own house so every day I do a deep clean in one room/bathroom)
Hour 2: walk dog, switch out laundry, continue any unfinished cleaning
Hour 3: grocery store (one of 4 places I shop)
Hoot 4: put groceries away, start prepping dinner, switch out laundry
Hour 5: make appointments for family, respond to all kid-related emails (sports, bday invites, doc appointments)
Hour 6: prep sports bags/clothes/car snacks/ water bottles for kids afternoon activities

Then I go pick up my kids and my SECOND SHIFT of parenting begins. This lasts about 6-7 hours, driving them to activities, walking dog again at those locations, then at home making dinner, feeding everyone, cleaning up kitchen, helping with homework, overseeing bedtime routine, doing the social-emotional bonding they both want every night, until actual bedtime.

So this is how I look at it, and it’s how my husband describes my life: I basically have 2 part time jobs, totaling 14 hours of total work. The first is running the household and the second is the hands-on parenting.

Hope this helps everyone reading this thread to understand that SAHPs deserve respect. This is one of the hardest jobs in the world. What other job can you think of that comes with no training, very little resources or support, no sick days, no days off, no pay, and very little appreciation?

So you cook, clean, do laundry and grocery shop. Most working people do this too. Like, I don’t get why you think this is such an accomplishment?

DP. I don't understand why this is such a debate or a competition about who's better or does more. Nobody is saying all the things a SAHP does can't get done by parents working outside the home. Someone asked what the SAHM does all day and she (and others) answered the question. Why? Because working parents don't seem to believe that SAHPs are busy at all and just sit around half the day.

Goody for you for doing it all. And good for the SAHPs who do all that they do. What many SAHPs here aren't including is all their volunteer activities around their kids' schools and activities, which can be as much as part-time to full-time-work-equivalent.

It's not "a debate" about who does more. That's obvious. Not up for debate. It isn't the SAHMommies.

Only in the US do people want a medal for bragging about how busy they are.
Leisure time is valued in most of the world

This is not about being busy. This is about how a capable, well educated woman can and ought to contribute to society beyond her nuclear family once the children are teenagers and there are no extenuating circumstances. Frankly, none of the excuses is particularly compelling. And the attempts to justify SAHMs under these circumstances are laughable. Just admit that you care more about the lifestyle than you care about contributing to society, that your higher ed degree was a bit of a waste on you, that you don't care that much about setting an example to your own kids about women holding professional status in the workforce, and that you are ultimately not that troubled by the economic risks of SAH. It's the utter intellectual dishonesty of SAHMs that amuse me.

Your work isn’t the huge contribution to society you think it is. I prefer my contribution to be focuses on raising great kids. But you do you; no one would miss you at work if you quit tomorrow, though.

FYI, the same kind of idiotic reasoning is why we have a measles outbreak. How individuals, you and those around you, make decisions does have an impact on the world we all inhabit.

What do you do?

I'm an editor.

That’s as informative as saying you’re a SAHM. What do you edit? How do “fill” your time?

Also, good luck when you’re replaced by AI. Not saying it’s better than you, but as this thread shows, our society only cares about maximizing “efficiency” and doesn’t give a rat’s ass about quality. Save your money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well... what do you do all day when they are in school? They are teens - go back to work.

This is very insulting. Let me enlighten you:
My kids (one elementary and one middle school) have different school start and end times so it ends up they are both gone 6 hours on school days. Here is what I “do all day” as you so condescendingly put it:
Hour 1: clean up kitchen, do dishes, start first of many loads of laundry, tidy house (I clean my own house so every day I do a deep clean in one room/bathroom)
Hour 2: walk dog, switch out laundry, continue any unfinished cleaning
Hour 3: grocery store (one of 4 places I shop)
Hoot 4: put groceries away, start prepping dinner, switch out laundry
Hour 5: make appointments for family, respond to all kid-related emails (sports, bday invites, doc appointments)
Hour 6: prep sports bags/clothes/car snacks/ water bottles for kids afternoon activities

Then I go pick up my kids and my SECOND SHIFT of parenting begins. This lasts about 6-7 hours, driving them to activities, walking dog again at those locations, then at home making dinner, feeding everyone, cleaning up kitchen, helping with homework, overseeing bedtime routine, doing the social-emotional bonding they both want every night, until actual bedtime.

So this is how I look at it, and it’s how my husband describes my life: I basically have 2 part time jobs, totaling 14 hours of total work. The first is running the household and the second is the hands-on parenting.

Hope this helps everyone reading this thread to understand that SAHPs deserve respect. This is one of the hardest jobs in the world. What other job can you think of that comes with no training, very little resources or support, no sick days, no days off, no pay, and very little appreciation?

So you cook, clean, do laundry and grocery shop. Most working people do this too. Like, I don’t get why you think this is such an accomplishment?

DP. I don't understand why this is such a debate or a competition about who's better or does more. Nobody is saying all the things a SAHP does can't get done by parents working outside the home. Someone asked what the SAHM does all day and she (and others) answered the question. Why? Because working parents don't seem to believe that SAHPs are busy at all and just sit around half the day.

Goody for you for doing it all. And good for the SAHPs who do all that they do. What many SAHPs here aren't including is all their volunteer activities around their kids' schools and activities, which can be as much as part-time to full-time-work-equivalent.

It's not "a debate" about who does more. That's obvious. Not up for debate. It isn't the SAHMommies.

Only in the US do people want a medal for bragging about how busy they are.
Leisure time is valued in most of the world

This is not about being busy. This is about how a capable, well educated woman can and ought to contribute to society beyond her nuclear family once the children are teenagers and there are no extenuating circumstances. Frankly, none of the excuses is particularly compelling. And the attempts to justify SAHMs under these circumstances are laughable. Just admit that you care more about the lifestyle than you care about contributing to society, that your higher ed degree was a bit of a waste on you, that you don't care that much about setting an example to your own kids about women holding professional status in the workforce, and that you are ultimately not that troubled by the economic risks of SAH. It's the utter intellectual dishonesty of SAHMs that amuse me.

DP here and correct, I only care about myself and my family. Don’t you? My working or not working has zero impact on society. That’s true for most careers, unless you’re a world-renowned physician or researcher or something at that level. Which I certainly am not, and I’m assuming you aren’t either just by virtue of the fact that there are very few people in those fields.

How would you feel if we went back to the 1950s and all your doctors were men, all your professors were men, all the lawyers were men, all the bankers were men, all the business owners were men, etc., etc. 99% of these professions are not "world-renowned," but I'd like to think that you are glad that you live in a world where millions women have rejected your attitude that their working has zero impact on society.

To be honest, I think kids would be less of mess, if more families had a SAHP. Have you been in a public school lately? Behavior is bananas. Largely because of poor parenting at home.

And here we have it, the white SAHM who voted for Trump because we need to make America great again...

I have the exact same opinion of Kids these days. They need a lot more involved parents to improve behavior. I did not vote for Trump.

[Anonymous]

I am thankful that we have women doctors, lawyer, leaders, and professionals everywhere.
But let’s be honest: if you are a woman who aspires to have a Big Job and also raise a family, you either need to be making tons of money to outsource like crazy (and in that case I would hope the dad takes on Primary Parent role. Not everything can be outsourced!) or have super supportive family (grandparents living with you, helping with the kids etc like many Asian families I know) and/or a husband who is super supportive, flexible, and maybe his career takes the back seat.

But not every woman needs or wants a Big Job. Some want to play a more involved role in their kids upbringing. What I am sick and tired of seeing on here and IRL are women who suggest that women who lean out of the workforce to be more involved in raising families are somehow intellectually inferior, lazy, moochers, or all of the above. It is sick and misogynistic and they are truly missing the forest for the trees.

One of the most vibrant, intelligent women I’ve ever known was the SAH mom of my younger brother’s close friend, and we knew the family well. Throughout raising her kids, she was active in her church and gardening and writing and more, I’m sure. I don’t think she ever sat and watched TV. When her youngest kids were getting closer to going to college, she felt called to fill the void by becoming a home health aide for elderly in our community, which she did for years until her own husband (he was a decade+ older than her) needed her to take care of him as he became seriously ill. And they were wealthy! She totally could have just coasted all that time.
Her kids all turned out incredible and are doing great and generous things. And I don’t think this kind of mom is that rare.
Why do we not value the work of people we need to bring up the next generation of strong, moral people?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Well... what do you do all day when they are in school? They are teens - go back to work.

This is very insulting. Let me enlighten you:
My kids (one elementary and one middle school) have different school start and end times so it ends up they are both gone 6 hours on school days. Here is what I “do all day” as you so condescendingly put it:
Hour 1: clean up kitchen, do dishes, start first of many loads of laundry, tidy house (I clean my own house so every day I do a deep clean in one room/bathroom)
Hour 2: walk dog, switch out laundry, continue any unfinished cleaning
Hour 3: grocery store (one of 4 places I shop)
Hoot 4: put groceries away, start prepping dinner, switch out laundry
Hour 5: make appointments for family, respond to all kid-related emails (sports, bday invites, doc appointments)
Hour 6: prep sports bags/clothes/car snacks/ water bottles for kids afternoon activities

Then I go pick up my kids and my SECOND SHIFT of parenting begins. This lasts about 6-7 hours, driving them to activities, walking dog again at those locations, then at home making dinner, feeding everyone, cleaning up kitchen, helping with homework, overseeing bedtime routine, doing the social-emotional bonding they both want every night, until actual bedtime.

So this is how I look at it, and it’s how my husband describes my life: I basically have 2 part time jobs, totaling 14 hours of total work. The first is running the household and the second is the hands-on parenting.

Hope this helps everyone reading this thread to understand that SAHPs deserve respect. This is one of the hardest jobs in the world. What other job can you think of that comes with no training, very little resources or support, no sick days, no days off, no pay, and very little appreciation?

So you cook, clean, do laundry and grocery shop. Most working people do this too. Like, I don’t get why you think this is such an accomplishment?

DP. I don't understand why this is such a debate or a competition about who's better or does more. Nobody is saying all the things a SAHP does can't get done by parents working outside the home. Someone asked what the SAHM does all day and she (and others) answered the question. Why? Because working parents don't seem to believe that SAHPs are busy at all and just sit around half the day.

Goody for you for doing it all. And good for the SAHPs who do all that they do. What many SAHPs here aren't including is all their volunteer activities around their kids' schools and activities, which can be as much as part-time to full-time-work-equivalent.

It's not "a debate" about who does more. That's obvious. Not up for debate. It isn't the SAHMommies.

Only in the US do people want a medal for bragging about how busy they are.
Leisure time is valued in most of the world

This is not about being busy. This is about how a capable, well educated woman can and ought to contribute to society beyond her nuclear family once the children are teenagers and there are no extenuating circumstances. Frankly, none of the excuses is particularly compelling. And the attempts to justify SAHMs under these circumstances are laughable. Just admit that you care more about the lifestyle than you care about contributing to society, that your higher ed degree was a bit of a waste on you, that you don't care that much about setting an example to your own kids about women holding professional status in the workforce, and that you are ultimately not that troubled by the economic risks of SAH. It's the utter intellectual dishonesty of SAHMs that amuse me.

Your work isn’t the huge contribution to society you think it is. I prefer my contribution to be focuses on raising great kids. But you do you; no one would miss you at work if you quit tomorrow, though.

FYI, the same kind of idiotic reasoning is why we have a measles outbreak. How individuals, you and those around you, make decisions does have an impact on the world we all inhabit.

What do you do?

I'm an editor.

That’s as informative as saying you’re a SAHM. What do you edit? How do “fill” your time?

Also, good luck when you’re replaced by AI. Not saying it’s better than you, but as this thread shows, our society only cares about maximizing “efficiency” and doesn’t give a rat’s ass about quality. Save your money.

??? I'm working, have a full-time, flexible job with benefits. I'm earning money, so your comment makes zero sense. And while AI is getting better, it's still shockingly unreliable. In my field, which is quite specialized, human editors like myself are correcting a lot of mistakes generated by poor editing programs (often developed in India).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well... what do you do all day when they are in school? They are teens - go back to work.

This is very insulting. Let me enlighten you:
My kids (one elementary and one middle school) have different school start and end times so it ends up they are both gone 6 hours on school days. Here is what I “do all day” as you so condescendingly put it:
Hour 1: clean up kitchen, do dishes, start first of many loads of laundry, tidy house (I clean my own house so every day I do a deep clean in one room/bathroom)
Hour 2: walk dog, switch out laundry, continue any unfinished cleaning
Hour 3: grocery store (one of 4 places I shop)
Hoot 4: put groceries away, start prepping dinner, switch out laundry
Hour 5: make appointments for family, respond to all kid-related emails (sports, bday invites, doc appointments)
Hour 6: prep sports bags/clothes/car snacks/ water bottles for kids afternoon activities

Then I go pick up my kids and my SECOND SHIFT of parenting begins. This lasts about 6-7 hours, driving them to activities, walking dog again at those locations, then at home making dinner, feeding everyone, cleaning up kitchen, helping with homework, overseeing bedtime routine, doing the social-emotional bonding they both want every night, until actual bedtime.

So this is how I look at it, and it’s how my husband describes my life: I basically have 2 part time jobs, totaling 14 hours of total work. The first is running the household and the second is the hands-on parenting.

Hope this helps everyone reading this thread to understand that SAHPs deserve respect. This is one of the hardest jobs in the world. What other job can you think of that comes with no training, very little resources or support, no sick days, no days off, no pay, and very little appreciation?

So you cook, clean, do laundry and grocery shop. Most working people do this too. Like, I don’t get why you think this is such an accomplishment?

DP. I don't understand why this is such a debate or a competition about who's better or does more. Nobody is saying all the things a SAHP does can't get done by parents working outside the home. Someone asked what the SAHM does all day and she (and others) answered the question. Why? Because working parents don't seem to believe that SAHPs are busy at all and just sit around half the day.

Goody for you for doing it all. And good for the SAHPs who do all that they do. What many SAHPs here aren't including is all their volunteer activities around their kids' schools and activities, which can be as much as part-time to full-time-work-equivalent.

It's not "a debate" about who does more. That's obvious. Not up for debate. It isn't the SAHMommies.

Only in the US do people want a medal for bragging about how busy they are.
Leisure time is valued in most of the world

This is not about being busy. This is about how a capable, well educated woman can and ought to contribute to society beyond her nuclear family once the children are teenagers and there are no extenuating circumstances. Frankly, none of the excuses is particularly compelling. And the attempts to justify SAHMs under these circumstances are laughable. Just admit that you care more about the lifestyle than you care about contributing to society, that your higher ed degree was a bit of a waste on you, that you don't care that much about setting an example to your own kids about women holding professional status in the workforce, and that you are ultimately not that troubled by the economic risks of SAH. It's the utter intellectual dishonesty of SAHMs that amuse me.

DP here and correct, I only care about myself and my family. Don’t you? My working or not working has zero impact on society. That’s true for most careers, unless you’re a world-renowned physician or researcher or something at that level. Which I certainly am not, and I’m assuming you aren’t either just by virtue of the fact that there are very few people in those fields.

How would you feel if we went back to the 1950s and all your doctors were men, all your professors were men, all the lawyers were men, all the bankers were men, all the business owners were men, etc., etc. 99% of these professions are not "world-renowned," but I'd like to think that you are glad that you live in a world where millions women have rejected your attitude that their working has zero impact on society.

To be honest, I think kids would be less of mess, if more families had a SAHP. Have you been in a public school lately? Behavior is bananas. Largely because of poor parenting at home.

And here we have it, the white SAHM who voted for Trump because we need to make America great again...

I have the exact same opinion of Kids these days. They need a lot more involved parents to improve behavior. I did not vote for Trump.

Same, I am also not a Trump voter and agree that parents need to be more present to improve behavior. A lot less screens would be good too. Many parents are exhausted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well... what do you do all day when they are in school? They are teens - go back to work.

This is very insulting. Let me enlighten you:
My kids (one elementary and one middle school) have different school start and end times so it ends up they are both gone 6 hours on school days. Here is what I “do all day” as you so condescendingly put it:
Hour 1: clean up kitchen, do dishes, start first of many loads of laundry, tidy house (I clean my own house so every day I do a deep clean in one room/bathroom)
Hour 2: walk dog, switch out laundry, continue any unfinished cleaning
Hour 3: grocery store (one of 4 places I shop)
Hoot 4: put groceries away, start prepping dinner, switch out laundry
Hour 5: make appointments for family, respond to all kid-related emails (sports, bday invites, doc appointments)
Hour 6: prep sports bags/clothes/car snacks/ water bottles for kids afternoon activities

Then I go pick up my kids and my SECOND SHIFT of parenting begins. This lasts about 6-7 hours, driving them to activities, walking dog again at those locations, then at home making dinner, feeding everyone, cleaning up kitchen, helping with homework, overseeing bedtime routine, doing the social-emotional bonding they both want every night, until actual bedtime.

So this is how I look at it, and it’s how my husband describes my life: I basically have 2 part time jobs, totaling 14 hours of total work. The first is running the household and the second is the hands-on parenting.

Hope this helps everyone reading this thread to understand that SAHPs deserve respect. This is one of the hardest jobs in the world. What other job can you think of that comes with no training, very little resources or support, no sick days, no days off, no pay, and very little appreciation?

So you cook, clean, do laundry and grocery shop. Most working people do this too. Like, I don’t get why you think this is such an accomplishment?

DP. I don't understand why this is such a debate or a competition about who's better or does more. Nobody is saying all the things a SAHP does can't get done by parents working outside the home. Someone asked what the SAHM does all day and she (and others) answered the question. Why? Because working parents don't seem to believe that SAHPs are busy at all and just sit around half the day.

Goody for you for doing it all. And good for the SAHPs who do all that they do. What many SAHPs here aren't including is all their volunteer activities around their kids' schools and activities, which can be as much as part-time to full-time-work-equivalent.

It's not "a debate" about who does more. That's obvious. Not up for debate. It isn't the SAHMommies.

Only in the US do people want a medal for bragging about how busy they are.
Leisure time is valued in most of the world

This is not about being busy. This is about how a capable, well educated woman can and ought to contribute to society beyond her nuclear family once the children are teenagers and there are no extenuating circumstances. Frankly, none of the excuses is particularly compelling. And the attempts to justify SAHMs under these circumstances are laughable. Just admit that you care more about the lifestyle than you care about contributing to society, that your higher ed degree was a bit of a waste on you, that you don't care that much about setting an example to your own kids about women holding professional status in the workforce, and that you are ultimately not that troubled by the economic risks of SAH. It's the utter intellectual dishonesty of SAHMs that amuse me.

DP here and correct, I only care about myself and my family. Don’t you? My working or not working has zero impact on society. That’s true for most careers, unless you’re a world-renowned physician or researcher or something at that level. Which I certainly am not, and I’m assuming you aren’t either just by virtue of the fact that there are very few people in those fields.

How would you feel if we went back to the 1950s and all your doctors were men, all your professors were men, all the lawyers were men, all the bankers were men, all the business owners were men, etc., etc. 99% of these professions are not "world-renowned," but I'd like to think that you are glad that you live in a world where millions women have rejected your attitude that their working has zero impact on society.

To be honest, I think kids would be less of mess, if more families had a SAHP. Have you been in a public school lately? Behavior is bananas. Largely because of poor parenting at home.

And here we have it, the white SAHM who voted for Trump because we need to make America great again...

I have the exact same opinion of Kids these days. They need a lot more involved parents to improve behavior. I did not vote for Trump.

But do you agree with the opinion that well educated mothers should be SAH even when their kids are teenagers? That's the scary part of PP's take on this. Her solution is to keep women in the home to raise the kids, even when they don't need a full-time SAH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well... what do you do all day when they are in school? They are teens - go back to work.

This is very insulting. Let me enlighten you:
My kids (one elementary and one middle school) have different school start and end times so it ends up they are both gone 6 hours on school days. Here is what I “do all day” as you so condescendingly put it:
Hour 1: clean up kitchen, do dishes, start first of many loads of laundry, tidy house (I clean my own house so every day I do a deep clean in one room/bathroom)
Hour 2: walk dog, switch out laundry, continue any unfinished cleaning
Hour 3: grocery store (one of 4 places I shop)
Hoot 4: put groceries away, start prepping dinner, switch out laundry
Hour 5: make appointments for family, respond to all kid-related emails (sports, bday invites, doc appointments)
Hour 6: prep sports bags/clothes/car snacks/ water bottles for kids afternoon activities

Then I go pick up my kids and my SECOND SHIFT of parenting begins. This lasts about 6-7 hours, driving them to activities, walking dog again at those locations, then at home making dinner, feeding everyone, cleaning up kitchen, helping with homework, overseeing bedtime routine, doing the social-emotional bonding they both want every night, until actual bedtime.

So this is how I look at it, and it’s how my husband describes my life: I basically have 2 part time jobs, totaling 14 hours of total work. The first is running the household and the second is the hands-on parenting.

Hope this helps everyone reading this thread to understand that SAHPs deserve respect. This is one of the hardest jobs in the world. What other job can you think of that comes with no training, very little resources or support, no sick days, no days off, no pay, and very little appreciation?

So you cook, clean, do laundry and grocery shop. Most working people do this too. Like, I don’t get why you think this is such an accomplishment?

DP. I don't understand why this is such a debate or a competition about who's better or does more. Nobody is saying all the things a SAHP does can't get done by parents working outside the home. Someone asked what the SAHM does all day and she (and others) answered the question. Why? Because working parents don't seem to believe that SAHPs are busy at all and just sit around half the day.

Goody for you for doing it all. And good for the SAHPs who do all that they do. What many SAHPs here aren't including is all their volunteer activities around their kids' schools and activities, which can be as much as part-time to full-time-work-equivalent.

It's not "a debate" about who does more. That's obvious. Not up for debate. It isn't the SAHMommies.

Only in the US do people want a medal for bragging about how busy they are.
Leisure time is valued in most of the world

This is not about being busy. This is about how a capable, well educated woman can and ought to contribute to society beyond her nuclear family once the children are teenagers and there are no extenuating circumstances. Frankly, none of the excuses is particularly compelling. And the attempts to justify SAHMs under these circumstances are laughable. Just admit that you care more about the lifestyle than you care about contributing to society, that your higher ed degree was a bit of a waste on you, that you don't care that much about setting an example to your own kids about women holding professional status in the workforce, and that you are ultimately not that troubled by the economic risks of SAH. It's the utter intellectual dishonesty of SAHMs that amuse me.

DP here and correct, I only care about myself and my family. Don’t you? My working or not working has zero impact on society. That’s true for most careers, unless you’re a world-renowned physician or researcher or something at that level. Which I certainly am not, and I’m assuming you aren’t either just by virtue of the fact that there are very few people in those fields.

How would you feel if we went back to the 1950s and all your doctors were men, all your professors were men, all the lawyers were men, all the bankers were men, all the business owners were men, etc., etc. 99% of these professions are not "world-renowned," but I'd like to think that you are glad that you live in a world where millions women have rejected your attitude that their working has zero impact on society.

To be honest, I think kids would be less of mess, if more families had a SAHP. Have you been in a public school lately? Behavior is bananas. Largely because of poor parenting at home.

And here we have it, the white SAHM who voted for Trump because we need to make America great again...

Tradwives of the world actively making it worse for women everywhere. Sigh. It’s sad that people actually believe the world would be better off without women in professional positions.

I mean, women will never get ahead because of catty women like you always tearing other women down. Women who shit on SAHMs or housewives are the ultimate “pick me!” girls, but you have your heads so far up your own asses you’ll never even consider contemplating the internalized misogyny which drives your worldview.

Lean into that patriarchy, girlboss. Make the rich male overlords of the world richer and then act shocked and pretend it’s the housewives holding women down

Huh?? Like me? Did you read the post from the pp saying that the world would be better without women doctors, lawyers or business owners? What is wrong with you? THAT is patriarchy, you seem very confused as to the definition.