Christmas present for hard to please MIL

[Anonymous]

Really. She does not like anything we give her. She does not need anything.

Obviously, we want to get her something; at least something from the kids. Usually they make something, or we give her a nice framed photo, or a nice small ornament from them, or a nice sweater set that is modest, solid color (of course! - she only wears either white or light blue, period) and tasteful, from an upscale store. If it is another color, forget it. We try to be generous. We definitely put thought into it. One year: a ski ensemble, one year a nice, small stereo system....we are out of ideas.

If it from her daughters, it is the best thing in the world (no matter how ugly, useless, whatever). But if it is from us, forget it. She doesn't come out and say so, but it's pretty obvious. And the daughters refuse to either help or go in on a gift with us, they are very secretive about it, hard to explain. We used to ask every year, for years. A couple years we have just given up and gone overboard price wise. She's never babysat or anything for us or anything (but has for the daughters while they have gone on vacation, etc., I think that spurs their secret gift giving?) She doesn't really have a relationship with our children, but we would like to try to make the effort. It's just frustrating.

Any suggestions would be appreciated. WWYD?

[Anonymous]

Does she have a kindle or a tablet?

[Anonymous]

Something consumable? Harry & David chocolate/fruit assortment or some local wines?

[Anonymous]

My standard gift to my parents is a photo calendar for the coming year and an ornament with a picture of all their grandkids, usually taken during our summer visit with them.

[Anonymous]

Theater tickets, restaurant gift certificate, Elizabeth Arden certificate.

[Anonymous]

Please don't stress over this. Life is too short.

[Anonymous]

People that have everything like wine. Or how about coffee? Or fancy soaps? If she has everything, don't give her much because if it's not her taste, it will become clutter. Fancy tea or hot chocolate?

[Anonymous]

I would totally not worry about it at all. When someone is impossible to please, I stop trying to please them because they don't WANT to be pleased. Don't spend a lot of time or money or agida on her. Buy her a nice light blue cashmere sweater from LL Bean or something, and think nothing more of it.

People like her don't get any space in my head.

[Anonymous]

Ask her what she wants.

[Anonymous]

Op I agree, don't stress. Easier said but it's true she doesn't want to be happy with anything you do. My MIL is like this with us. She favors my SIL and her kids. If they send her a photo oil or calendar to hung in the house. Ours have never made it out of the box. she insisted on entire family photos which we paid half for as a Xmas gift. She chose the combos with SIL and her family only to put up. I've given up as of 3 years ago. I just woke up one day and said to myself she's not my mother or my friend. I've tried but to no avail. Now I'm going to live my life and minimize her impact on means my kids. Give her a neutral gift - fancy chocolates or bottle of wine- an arms length gift is befitting.

[Anonymous]

A goat from Heifer International.

[Anonymous]

Gift card to her favorite store. Do not overspend.

[Anonymous]

Leave it up to DH, and / or make it as simple as possible.

If this woman won't be pleased, put in as little effort as possible--and see her as little as possible. She sounds horrible.

[Anonymous]

I would leave it to your husband.
Actually, now I come to think about it, I've always left his family's gifts up to him - which is why they never get anything! Luckily they don't mind.

As for your MIL, I would buy her a set of official Downton Abbey teas from Republic of Tea, which are quite good. Make sure you buy the "Upstairs" set, not the "Downstairs" set! Skip the common DA mug, but you can add a box of biscuits (cookies), although not having tried them I'm not sure how good they are.

[Anonymous]

A card, a book, and a photo of the grandkids.