What's the biggest secret you're keeping from your SO?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That I was not really born into his culture. My parents are dead and I have no siblings or relatives I'm in contact with. DH wanted a girl from his culture and I wanted him, so I lied. His fault for being stupid enough to let something as stupid as "blood" almost come between us.

What culture? Jewish? I'm having a hard time imagining many cultures where you could make this work because you're last name at least would often give you away.

Yep. Makes me laugh every time I hear my judgmental asshole mother-in-law say that other couples in which only the father is Jewish don't have "real" Jewish kids. I think to myself, "you don't have real Jewish grandkids either."

Are you going to tell your kids, when they are older? What if they become Orthodox, and believe they are obligated to follow Jewish law, but would not be if they were not Jewish? Are you going to keep the lie going for them, and for future SIL's and DIL's?

Judaism is a religion. If my kids become ultra religious and follow all the tenets/requirements, then that's that. I see no reason to indulge idiots who would argue that people just like them with Jewish mothers are fine, but they are not Jewish because the wrong parent is Jewish.

Judaism is not a religion in the western, christian sense. It is tied with jewish peoplehood. The core belief is that a set of laws were given by god to the jewish people, present at Sinai, and that it is binding on the descendants of those who accepted that obligation at Sinai. And those who affirmatively chose to join that people by a conversion, according to Jewish law. IF your children become Orthodox, that will be their belief, more or less. Conservative Judaism agrees, and Reform, while it does not accept the distinction between male and female parent, agrees in that its not just a religion - one must have one Jewish parent of any gender, or else convert.

Now it is possible that they will take a view of Judaism similar to yours, or they may become Reform (in which case they would be born Jews based on their father). But if they are not, it should, I think, be up to them to decide if they wish to remain gentiles, or convert to Judaism. By not informing them, ever, you are in effect making the choice for them. That is why lying is fundamentally an exercise of power over others.

I am sorry you got yourself caught in this situation by your choosing to use dishonesty as a weapon in support of your ideological dislike of your husband's family's faith. I hope at some point, after your inlaws and perhaps your husband are dead, you will tell your children the truth and let them make their own choices.

[Anonymous]

That I'm going to meet someone from this site in a hotel next week for some fun naked times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love pills (percs, vicodin). I love my child more, so I don't indulge very often. But I love the feeling.

Different poster here. I've suffered from PE for years (especially with my wife). I use 1/2 of a pill and I can go as long as she wants. Life is too short for bad sex and she would've stopped sleeping with me years ago if I hadn't found a solution.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That I was not really born into his culture. My parents are dead and I have no siblings or relatives I'm in contact with. DH wanted a girl from his culture and I wanted him, so I lied. His fault for being stupid enough to let something as stupid as "blood" almost come between us.

What culture? Jewish? I'm having a hard time imagining many cultures where you could make this work because you're last name at least would often give you away.

Yep. Makes me laugh every time I hear my judgmental asshole mother-in-law say that other couples in which only the father is Jewish don't have "real" Jewish kids. I think to myself, "you don't have real Jewish grandkids either."

Are you going to tell your kids, when they are older? What if they become Orthodox, and believe they are obligated to follow Jewish law, but would not be if they were not Jewish? Are you going to keep the lie going for them, and for future SIL's and DIL's?

Judaism is a religion. If my kids become ultra religious and follow all the tenets/requirements, then that's that. I see no reason to indulge idiots who would argue that people just like them with Jewish mothers are fine, but they are not Jewish because the wrong parent is Jewish.

Judaism is not a religion in the western, christian sense. It is tied with jewish peoplehood. The core belief is that a set of laws were given by god to the jewish people, present at Sinai, and that it is binding on the descendants of those who accepted that obligation at Sinai. And those who affirmatively chose to join that people by a conversion, according to Jewish law. IF your children become Orthodox, that will be their belief, more or less. Conservative Judaism agrees, and Reform, while it does not accept the distinction between male and female parent, agrees in that its not just a religion - one must have one Jewish parent of any gender, or else convert.

Now it is possible that they will take a view of Judaism similar to yours, or they may become Reform (in which case they would be born Jews based on their father). But if they are not, it should, I think, be up to them to decide if they wish to remain gentiles, or convert to Judaism. By not informing them, ever, you are in effect making the choice for them. That is why lying is fundamentally an exercise of power over others.

I am sorry you got yourself caught in this situation by your choosing to use dishonesty as a weapon in support of your ideological dislike of your husband's family's faith. I hope at some point, after your inlaws and perhaps your husband are dead, you will tell your children the truth and let them make their own choices.

I think you're more worried than PP is. Relax.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That I'm going to meet someone from this site in a hotel next week for some fun naked times.

You sound pretty confident in predicting the future. I'm guessing this isn't the first meeting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That I'm going to meet someone from this site in a hotel next week for some fun naked times.

You sound pretty confident in predicting the future. I'm guessing this isn't the first meeting.

I wonder if my sometimes AP would be up for that next week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That I'm going to meet someone from this site in a hotel next week for some fun naked times.

You sound pretty confident in predicting the future. I'm guessing this isn't the first meeting.

Very curious NP. Please share. IS it going to be the first time? How did you figure out that you were both down for this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love pills (percs, vicodin). I love my child more, so I don't indulge very often. But I love the feeling.

Different poster here. I've suffered from PE for years (especially with my wife). I use 1/2 of a pill and I can go as long as she wants. Life is too short for bad sex and she would've stopped sleeping with me years ago if I hadn't found a solution.

Percocet and vicodin prevent PE? Huh. Don't they make you too sleepy to want to get it on?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love pills (percs, vicodin). I love my child more, so I don't indulge very often. But I love the feeling.

Different poster here. I've suffered from PE for years (especially with my wife). I use 1/2 of a pill and I can go as long as she wants. Life is too short for bad sex and she would've stopped sleeping with me years ago if I hadn't found a solution.

Percocet and vicodin prevent PE? Huh. Don't they make you too sleepy to want to get it on?

No, I use vicuprofen. The acetaminephan in the other is harsh on your liver. At 1/2 of a pill I don't really feel any of the effects - high, sleepy, etc. Urologists will actually prescribe Tramadol, another opiate, off label for PE. At some point I'll probably switch to that. Either way, sex has gotten a lot better and my wife and I both enjoy it more. Now, when I ask, she rarely says no. But we're about a 1-2x a week couple so I don't think I'm taking a dangerous level.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love pills (percs, vicodin). I love my child more, so I don't indulge very often. But I love the feeling.

Different poster here. I've suffered from PE for years (especially with my wife). I use 1/2 of a pill and I can go as long as she wants. Life is too short for bad sex and she would've stopped sleeping with me years ago if I hadn't found a solution.

I don't have PE but it started taking 1/4 doses of Viagra back in my thirties to stay rock hard for hours at a time. My DH thought her weight loss was the reason for my extended erections. Sometimes, the next day, I will pop wood just smelling someone's perfume or looking at their boobs. It's just like being 15 again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love pills (percs, vicodin). I love my child more, so I don't indulge very often. But I love the feeling.

Different poster here. I've suffered from PE for years (especially with my wife). I use 1/2 of a pill and I can go as long as she wants. Life is too short for bad sex and she would've stopped sleeping with me years ago if I hadn't found a solution.

I don't have PE but it started taking 1/4 doses of Viagra back in my thirties to stay rock hard for hours at a time. My DH thought her weight loss was the reason for my extended erections. Sometimes, the next day, I will pop wood just smelling someone's perfume or looking at their boobs. It's just like being 15 again.

Lol is being 15 again a good thing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That I'm going to meet someone from this site in a hotel next week for some fun naked times.

You sound pretty confident in predicting the future. I'm guessing this isn't the first meeting.

Very curious NP. Please share. IS it going to be the first time? How did you figure out that you were both down for this?

We figured it out through normal discussion and yes, this is a first meeting. I've had plenty of first meeting sexual encounters including some that became LTRs. It's not as rare as you may think and of course, there is some negotiation before meeting and either party could decide to bail on the plan. I've only had that happen one time several years ago while I've been the one to bail a few other times. Yes, I'm very confident this isn't one of those times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That the father of our 4yo DD is my former AP and not my DH. I ended and ghosted my AP before he knew I was pregnant and my DH never suspecting anything. I'm not telling.

With the popularity of Ancestry results you aren't going to keep this a secret.

Dude that's...actually a very good point. Seriously. PP have you thought about that at all??

Yeah, I found my real dad and sister.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That I'm going to meet someone from this site in a hotel next week for some fun naked times.

You sound pretty confident in predicting the future. I'm guessing this isn't the first meeting.

Very curious NP. Please share. IS it going to be the first time? How did you figure out that you were both down for this?

We figured it out through normal discussion and yes, this is a first meeting. I've had plenty of first meeting sexual encounters including some that became LTRs. It's not as rare as you may think and of course, there is some negotiation before meeting and either party could decide to bail on the plan. I've only had that happen one time several years ago while I've been the one to bail a few other times. Yes, I'm very confident this isn't one of those times.

Please report back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That I'm going to meet someone from this site in a hotel next week for some fun naked times.

You sound pretty confident in predicting the future. I'm guessing this isn't the first meeting.

Very curious NP. Please share. IS it going to be the first time? How did you figure out that you were both down for this?

We figured it out through normal discussion and yes, this is a first meeting. I've had plenty of first meeting sexual encounters including some that became LTRs. It's not as rare as you may think and of course, there is some negotiation before meeting and either party could decide to bail on the plan. I've only had that happen one time several years ago while I've been the one to bail a few other times. Yes, I'm very confident this isn't one of those times.

Please report back.

I might if you're really interested. Or maybe I'll talk to her about it and ask her if she wants to write an account of how it went. I'll see how it goes.