is DH unreasonable?

[Anonymous]

5 yo DC is in K. Everyone was wearing pajamas today but we forgot and sent him to school in regular clothes. School called that Ds is upset because he is not wearing pajamas while everyone else is wearing theirs. DH was at home near the school. I called him and asked to take pajamas to school, he refused saying that this is not important and that the 5 yo needs to toughen up and learn to brush off minor disappointments. I left work and spent an hour driving home, getting pajamas, taking it to school. It has since escalated into a major fight over me spoiling DS, coddling him, etc. DH believes that this was unimportant and DS should have just brushed it off. What do you think?

[Anonymous]

I think DCUM is not the right place to have this argument.

[Anonymous]

I am with you. There are a lot of issues we need to take a firm line on with our children to make sure they grow up to be decent adults, and needlessly picking an issue that isn't a big deal is odd. Is your husband normally difficult?

[Anonymous]

Agreed. Take this offline, sister. Nothing good is going to come of it.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like there is more to the story and that this coddling issue has come up multiple times before.

[Anonymous]

1) Why in the heck did the school think this warranted a phone call? Good grief, it's one day.

2) That said, DH really could have done it, unless he had a crazy day of working from home or needed to be there for a repairman. If he can great, if not well, oh well.

3) You leaving work early and driving over an hour home? That was insane. Totally unnecessary...and on top of it it undermined the decision your DH already made. You should have let it go.

4) Since nearly all these involve not delivering the PJs, apologize to DS when he gets home and do something extra nice like have ice cream after dinner.

Done.

[Anonymous]

I think that, unless there is more to this story, there is no way on earth that I would have left work and spent an hour driving around to take pajamas to school.

I also think that you shouldn't have second-guessed DH's decision.

And finally -- what school is this, that would call because DS was upset because he wasn't wearing pajamas? How upset was DS?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am with you. There are a lot of issues we need to take a firm line on with our children to make sure they grow up to be decent adults, and needlessly picking an issue that isn't a big deal is odd. Is your husband normally difficult?

Maybe OP constantly gives into DS and he's turning into a spoiled brat and her husband is trying to put his foot down regarding the issue.

[Anonymous]

I'm with you, but my DH would've absolutely run them over if he were home. Sounds like your DH is the macho man type, and you're probably going to need to have a discussion on how you both want to raise your son.

[Anonymous]

Tell him that I said he is wrong. What would be minor to him is not minor to a 5 year old. Not wearing the right clothes can be awful at that age. Besides, it was the parents that messed up (these things happen, no biggie) and one of you should fix it not make him suffer, especially when it was an easy fix. What's his number? I'll tell him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am with you. There are a lot of issues we need to take a firm line on with our children to make sure they grow up to be decent adults, and needlessly picking an issue that isn't a big deal is odd. Is your husband normally difficult?

Maybe OP constantly gives into DS and he's turning into a spoiled brat and her husband is trying to put his foot down regarding the issue.

The child is in kindergarten. If it's pajama day it's the parents job to remember, not the child...

[Anonymous]

Agree to disagree. I can see both sides of the issue, and it's your husband's right not to leave his salaried position to cater to school whims such as Pajama Day; it's your right to leave your salaried position to bring the forgotten pajamas. He doesn't get to criticize your choice, unless you're fired over it, and you don't get to criticize his choice.

It's a rather typical kind of scenario, where one parent is less empathetic than the other, and accusations and counter-accusations fly. As your child grows, hopefully there will be less drama.

[Anonymous]

I'm with you. There does come a point where kids need to be responsible for their own things, commitments, etc., but expecting a 5-year-old to be able to read the calendar and know that it means he's supposed to wear pajamas is unreasonable. The parents screwed up, and it's the parents job to fix it if feasible (which it sounds like it was).

[Anonymous]

Try to have your child pee on the potty before going to bed. That immediately stopped our peeing through night diapers. That being said, seventh generation overnights seemed to do a good job holding all the pee.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Try to have your child pee on the potty before going to bed. That immediately stopped our peeing through night diapers. That being said, seventh generation overnights seemed to do a good job holding all the pee.

Crap wrong post!