is DH unreasonable?

[Anonymous]

Guess what. It's 10:20pm and the kid is probably asleep. In the morning, he will have forgotten that today was pajama day. OP and DH will still be pissed at each other and the kid will go on with his life. It's funny how adults make a bigger deal out of these things than the kids.

OP and DH obviously have some other issues to work out in their marriage.

[Anonymous]

OP, I am pretty sure your husband is lazy, mean, and jealous of your son. He was too lazy to bring the pjs but wouldn't own it and instead put the blame on you for catering to your son.

[Anonymous]

I'm not gonna read all the responses. Blame it on the school. They put you in an awkward position. They should have handled it better. So then you felt bad and had to do something to relieve your anxiety about it. Your husband is right that it wasn't a big deal in the grand scheme of things. But you couldn't let it go because the school called you. The school was dumb to call you. It wasn't a life or death situation. Sure, it was probably awkward for your son and I get that he would be upset. But the school should have done something to make him feel better without having to involve you.

[Anonymous]

I actually think a KG kid can remember to wear PJs. Id show empathy if he didnt and was upset, but natural consequences. I'd actually be rather concerned that the school thought dad should make up for this mistake.
(and even outside of parenting philosophy, i wouldnt take time from the workday to make that happen)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm with the PP a few pages back whose parents were you, OP -- never remembering permission slips, dress-up days, etc. I grew up feeling left out. Did it make me stronger and more resilient? Maybe. But it also made me sad.

Your DH was a douche for not immediately taking the PJs to the school. It's just not that much to do to make your kid happy for a day, instead of miserable and alone.

I'm not one to advocate rushing to fix everything every time a kid is unhappy, but this was the PARENTS' fault. Get a calendar, and use it. This stuff matters to kids.

I have been reading through this thread and was about to say what the quoted PP did. This is not a "teachable moment". Don't be an asshole to your kids. If you are one, they will remember it. (And yes, I was a 5-year-old whose parents ignored pajama day and other such school events, and later told me it was "good for me to learn resilience.").

[Anonymous]

Poor kid

[Anonymous]

He's only 5. I think dad should have brought the pajamas. The kid isn't old enough to grasp that there will always be more PJ days ahead. I'm glad mom brought the PJs to him. Poor kid, nobody wants to be left out. PJ day seems like nothing to us, but it's obviously awesome to 5-year-olds (otherwise, what's the point?).

[Anonymous]

Dad really let down this kid. Such a simple fix to walk over some PJs so your kid isn't made fun of or feeling awkward.

The self confidence when messing up can come later (of both child and dad), but not at age 5. All the kid will remember is everyone wore PJs but him.

Hopefully next week they all forget.

[Anonymous]

A clever teacher and staff could have resolved this without calling home. Make the kid feel special throughout the day by having him take on tasks that can only be handled by a child NOT wearing pajamas. For Chrissakes they still believe in santa. Take advantage of that and diffuse the situation.

[Anonymous]

"Honestly, if the school had called YOUR HUSBAND, he might've actually gone to deliver the PJs. But since they called you, and you were the one to deliver the message, he was better able to say "no." Next time just say, "I'm on my way out for an important meeting. Would you mind calling my husband at home? He might be able to do something about it. Thanks!""

So your suggestion is to make the school your secretary, to passively-aggressively make thenthe go-between in your marital issues. I don't think so. If I'd have called, and you'd said that to me, I'd have said, "No, I'm not your messenger. The ball is in your court."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Honestly, if the school had called YOUR HUSBAND, he might've actually gone to deliver the PJs. But since they called you, and you were the one to deliver the message, he was better able to say "no." Next time just say, "I'm on my way out for an important meeting. Would you mind calling my husband at home? He might be able to do something about it. Thanks!""

So your suggestion is to make the school your secretary, to passively-aggressively make thenthe go-between in your marital issues. I don't think so. If I'd have called, and you'd said that to me, I'd have said, "No, I'm not your messenger. The ball is in your court."

Sheesh. The ball was in the school's court. The mom can't come. If it's such a big deal, call the dad. He's home. And it's more likely to get what "you" (the calling school) want.

I know how my husband's psychology works. You call him, he probably won't say no. I call him, and he is much less likely to jump at this silly request.

[Anonymous]

The school called me once. I didn't go. Teacher wanted me to bring in a project my kid had done. Teacher had changed the day of the presentations, knew I lived in the neighborhood, wondered if I could run-it-over.

ah, no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As an aside I'd like to share with you all that I HATE THE SPECIAL DRESS-UP DAYS. It's a nightmare to remember, try to find the right clothes, etc.

I hate them too. I don't need one more thing to have to remember.

Agreed. Hate them as well. Tomorrow is Pink Day at Kindy and I think it's insane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As an aside I'd like to share with you all that I HATE THE SPECIAL DRESS-UP DAYS. It's a nightmare to remember, try to find the right clothes, etc.

I hate them too. I don't need one more thing to have to remember.

Agreed. Hate them as well. Tomorrow is Pink Day at Kindy and I think it's insane.

How lazy.

[Anonymous]

Your husband is an inconsiderate and lazy jerk.

At that age, it is so important to fit in w/your peers and for him to be the only one w/out his pajamas on must have made him feel so left out. He must have wanted to participate rather than spectate and who can blame him?? He's a kid. I remember as a kid always wanting to participate in whatever the rest of the class was doing. It is only normal and natural.

I am totally on YOUR side and think your husband should sleep outside tonight w/the crickets.