Am I right to feel offended?
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Anonymous
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So my brother and SIL are asking me and my son to come visit them when they are both on business trips. The idea is that cousins who are close in age will play together, we will all hang out together on the two weekends, and during the week I will watch the 3 boys, aged 4-6, from about dinnertime until nanny takes them to school (I will stay with my son).
I have done this before and they paid for 2/3 of our plane tickets. This time I am in a financial bind and asked them to pay 100%. Now they are offering to buy us tickets for miles, which would involve change of flights (otherwise a 6 hr non stop flight). Honestly, this is very inconvenient with a 4 yo (esp as the departure times are weird, early morning/late evening), plus I feel a bit offended as I know they a) want me there mostly to watch the kids b)just paid for a SIL's relative to go with them on vacation c) SIL is never that way with HER relatives, but my brother is trying to save as much as he can on HIS Sorry about the somewhat incoherent rant, I am just strangely upset about it all |
Anonymous
| You can decline. Just tell them that it is not going to work out this year. |
Anonymous
| Don't be offended, life's too short, especially if you want to cousins to be close. Just do what PP said. If the flights are too much of a hassle they decide if it is worth it to you. |
Anonymous
| No, you sound really entitled and whiny. I think you've lost some perspective. |
Anonymous
What? Her brother is essentially asking her to fly out there to watch his kids. You shouldn't pay for the flights at all! |
Anonymous
| Yes, he's asking you to watch his kids. I'd want family watching mine too. I'd pay the whole fare though. It's ok to decline if the flights are too challenging. |
Anonymous
| You asked your brother to pay for your trip and he is. You didn't specify "do not use miles - we want a direct flight". Yes, you are coming across as whiney, but if you see this as challenging then decline. Have you used your words and spoken to your brother about the flight? I would've done that prior to posting on an anonymous website... |
Anonymous
| I don't know why you would take 'offense' at this. Your brother is covering your ticket, presumably your food while you're there, you only have night duty with the kids (and at their ages, that's not hard) and there will be a nanny there during the day. I think it's pretty sweet. Yes, the flight is inconvenient for you with the layover but it's not 'offensive'. |
Anonymous
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I'm another who is perplexed by the offended part. You asked them to cover the plane tickets 100%, they are. You don't get to pick when someone is giving you something.
Would it be nice to fly direct? Sure! Is it necessary? No. I think you have to decide if you want to go or not. |
Anonymous
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OP here, thank you guys, I just wanted to vent a bit and decide before I speak to my brother. I did speak to him and I told him the flights were not convenient, and also told him that if money is tight for them, DS and I could pay for our tickets in the spring and come visit them.
He admitted he was essentially in a bind and needed childcare for that period. I said - I am totally fine if you decide that paying our airfare is not worth it, but essentially this is what I expect if they ask me to fly at that very time. |
Anonymous
| OP again -he told me he would think about it. I am not offended anymore, I am more...surprised maybe? I mean, he knows I have a 4 yo and layovers can be challenging... why is he even asking me if I would do this? Or maybe I am just too sensitive...but knowing that they just paid for SIL's relatives to be with them ON VACATION, I can't help but feel it's a matter of prioritizing her side of the family over his. |
Anonymous
| Again, I am ok going there and watching the kids if they pay direct airfare. If not, I am just not flying, sorry. I made this clear to my brother I think... |
Anonymous
| OP's brother is asking her to fly out to watch his kids. Of course he should pay for a convenient (direct) flight! Obnoxious that they would even ask her to consider an awards flight with multiple legs. |
Anonymous
| I think it is odd too OP. Why doesn't he just say, I need a babysitter, I will fly you out. He is not really asking OP to visit with them, just to babysit. |
Anonymous
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If you were happy to do this arrangement for the flights, and other details offered - you accept.
If not, you decline. |