Confrssion thread

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guy in 50s - why do you want to leave your marriage?

- she makes her family a priority over me (will never leave the region where they live)
- has no plans for the future except to retire and sit around
- used to be curious about the world, now never reads anything
- has no interest in any of my dreams or ideas (still want to work in my 60s at my own business)
- has no ability to understand anyone's thinking except her own

Translation: alone in the marriage and often think about what life would be like with some of the 50ish women I meet from time to time.

Sorry to hear that but thanks for answering.

This sounds like you feel so alone in your marriage. Is there any affection or closeness? If not, when did that disappear? What do you talk about then?

Just asking because this is so different than those "she got fat" and "she doesn't like sex anymore" posts.

[Anonymous]

My good friend is having an affair and it is killing me. I really like her poor husband (not in that way, just a great guy). It kills me that she is doing this to him. I keep thinking of ways I could surreptitiously help her get caught.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Until then I am a sad spinster though. Lets not sugarcoat it

dude. it's not 1753. do something with your life. i'm sure there's someone out there wanting to end it all because she married and had kids and is now "just a housewife." if there are people in your life making you feel less than because you're not married, find new friends.

[Anonymous]

I have friends, but no close friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here is mine:

I almost bailed the day before my wedding 10 years ago. But family convinced me to stay. I had some friends tell me I'd likely to get divorced. They aren't my friends anymore but they were right.

I hate him now. He is a loser who can't hold down a job and has a ton of student debt. I pay for everything and do all childcare. He comes home and criticizes everything. He had opinions on EVERYTHING and it's his way or the highway and he's still mad if he gets his way. I cringe when we have to spend time with each other on weekends. I can't wait until Monday. Having sex with him is gross. I secretly wish he'd cheat so it would be easier to justify divorce.

I'm scared to bring up how unhappy I am.He doesn't listen and is angry all the time. Instead I tune him.

I don't want to live like this for the next 40 years.. I don't have anyone to talk to. My therapist said that we need couples counseling and 1 on 1 isn't going to help. My friends and family don't know that I'm ready to bail..

Call up those friends that tried to warn you. They are your true friends and they will listen. Imagine how hard it must have been for them to tell you to bail all those years ago

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm so skinny postpartum because I abuse drugs. At least I don't lie outright and pretend I work out or eat well. I just say, "I haven't had an appetite since the baby was born" which is true.

Nice. What's your drug/s of choice?

Small doses of opiates + benzos + nicotine (vape in private). I make sure my DH, a grandparent, or a babysitter is "on duty" when I dose. I'm not a monster, just a person trying to get through day by day. It started because I had leftover opiates from my postpartum pain when the PPD kicked in. Instead of sobbing every evening like clockwork, I took a pill and actually enjoyed the evening grind - loving on my baby, tidying the house, prepping bottles, engaging with DH, dealing better with night wakings. I'm not under any illusions that I'm not headed for rehab or a breakdown. But for now, I'm working FT and being the best mom I can be. And I have to force myself to eat, yes. Please don't assume I'm glorifying this. I'm a train wreck inside.

Please stop. Please get help now. You don't think it is a problem, but it is. Do it for baby. This is the beginning of addiction. Do it for yourself!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here is mine:

I almost bailed the day before my wedding 10 years ago. But family convinced me to stay. I had some friends tell me I'd likely to get divorced. They aren't my friends anymore but they were right.

I hate him now. He is a loser who can't hold down a job and has a ton of student debt. I pay for everything and do all childcare. He comes home and criticizes everything. He had opinions on EVERYTHING and it's his way or the highway and he's still mad if he gets his way. I cringe when we have to spend time with each other on weekends. I can't wait until Monday. Having sex with him is gross. I secretly wish he'd cheat so it would be easier to justify divorce.

I'm scared to bring up how unhappy I am.He doesn't listen and is angry all the time. Instead I tune him.

I don't want to live like this for the next 40 years.. I don't have anyone to talk to. My therapist said that we need couples counseling and 1 on 1 isn't going to help. My friends and family don't know that I'm ready to bail..

Call up those friends that tried to warn you. They are your true friends and they will listen. Imagine how hard it must have been for them to tell you to bail all those years ago

THIS x1000!
Those friends have probably been carrying a little guilt of their own for all of these years... call them, Facebook them, get in touch... they'll listen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here is mine:

I almost bailed the day before my wedding 10 years ago. But family convinced me to stay. I had some friends tell me I'd likely to get divorced. They aren't my friends anymore but they were right.

I hate him now. He is a loser who can't hold down a job and has a ton of student debt. I pay for everything and do all childcare. He comes home and criticizes everything. He had opinions on EVERYTHING and it's his way or the highway and he's still mad if he gets his way. I cringe when we have to spend time with each other on weekends. I can't wait until Monday. Having sex with him is gross. I secretly wish he'd cheat so it would be easier to justify divorce.

I'm scared to bring up how unhappy I am.He doesn't listen and is angry all the time. Instead I tune him.

I don't want to live like this for the next 40 years.. I don't have anyone to talk to. My therapist said that we need couples counseling and 1 on 1 isn't going to help. My friends and family don't know that I'm ready to bail..

Call up those friends that tried to warn you. They are your true friends and they will listen. Imagine how hard it must have been for them to tell you to bail all those years ago

THIS x1000!
Those friends have probably been carrying a little guilt of their own for all of these years... call them, Facebook them, get in touch... they'll listen.

I was in a similar situation as you. I sometimes cry when I think about the wasted years I spent with this person. I will always be grateful for one of my friends who nudged me to get out of my awful, soul-sucking marriage.

[Anonymous]

I had a moment of clarity on Friday: my marriage is over. I have spent years trying to get my husband to see things from my perspective and he just doesn't. He doesn't read the articles and books I give him. He hasn't become respectful, or kind, or thoughtful, or magnanimous - he has remained a passive-aggressive, immature, selfish emotional abuser and he is not going to change. He cheated on me last summer and I thought it could be a reset on our marriage. It hasn't been.

I'm giving myself a year to accrue the resources and support necessary for me to leave him. I meet with an attorney this week. It's going to be hard, but I don't want my daughter growing up thinking this is how women should be treated, and I don't want my son growing up thinking this is how to treat a woman.

[Anonymous]

I had a moment of clarity this weekend, too. I can still love my spouse AND have a lover. It doesn't have to be either or.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have never strayed in my marriage. 18 years. But sex has all but stopped and for the first time I am thinking of hiring an escort

It amazes me how women just don't get how damaging the lack of sex is

That goes for men, too. My husband finally admitted that his sex drive is lower than mine, and says he'll do it whenever I want, but I have to do all the work. Um, no thanks, I'd rather do it myself or sleep with someone who is an active, enthusiastic participant and tries to turn me on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Totally crushing on my trainer...no sex with husband, for several months, and barely any for three years. All kinds of trouble. Luckily he seems level headed but ...omg.

Is his name Kevin? If so, yes, he's very level headed but extremely hot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I confess to being a little shocked that people grow to full adulthood in this day and age and don't know about masturbation.

I knew it existed, just had never done it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many years ago a close GF of mine told me about the amazing sex (multiple O's etc.) she was having with a guy we both worked with. I always liked him but never wanted to risk dating someone I worked with. But now I was intrigued even though I was definitely not someone who slept around. I hit on him soon after and the sex was amazing. We've been married 35 years and the sex is still great. Just this morning I told him that "I missed him" since he's been recovering from minor surgery. He said "I'm back" so I'm looking forward to tonight! BTW, I'm still friends with my old GF. Many years ago I was dumb enough to tell my DH what my GF had said and he said something like advertising does work. They weren't really dating, more like today's FWB, so I never felt like I stole him from her.

That is so great. How old are you now? Are you one of those rare post-menopause DWs who still has sex? 51 here and my DW could be fine never having sex again. I hear stories like yours and I get so jealous and frustrated in equal measure....

We should get together. I am a frustrated 51 year old woman...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guy in 50s - why do you want to leave your marriage?

- she makes her family a priority over me (will never leave the region where they live)
- has no plans for the future except to retire and sit around
- used to be curious about the world, now never reads anything
- has no interest in any of my dreams or ideas (still want to work in my 60s at my own business)
- has no ability to understand anyone's thinking except her own

Translation: alone in the marriage and often think about what life would be like with some of the 50ish women I meet from time to time.

Let us know if you have the courage to leave. I have some of the same reasons for wanting to leave, and I am a 51 year old woman.