Guac and queso if you make over $450k

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if you are someone who gets what you want but truly wants very little. A non-mindful spender who spends way less than most mindful ones?

If you get what you want without consideration of price, you’re not a mindful spender. You don’t give it another thought regarding value, price, alternatives, frequency (we already got takeout 2x last week), amount you could save by not getting it, do you really want the item, etc.

But isn't what we want often based on price to begin with?

Not if you’re not mindful. You want it, you get it, obviously within reason. You’re not getting a Birken just bc you want it. But if you’re not mindful, then if you want it, you don’t have any consideration for the price most of the time. You want it, you get it.

Mindful considers the questions above: value, price, alternatives, frequency (we already got takeout 2x last week), amount you could save by not getting it, do you really want the item, etc. Mindful still means you’ll get the item but have almost instantaneously run through whether it was worth it: Diet Coke, coffee, this gas station, fruit, whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What if you are someone who gets what you want but truly wants very little. A non-mindful spender who spends way less than most mindful ones?

I agree with you. I have a child who loves math, so once a week I take him to meet 1:1 with a math tutor and do problems together. I buy them both a soda. It costs me about $70. He doesn’t need it, and it’s expensive, but it’s the highlight of his week. He doesn’t care much about his clothes or shoes and would never in a million years want $1500 concert tickets. Overall, even though we spend money fairly liberally on non-necessities, he’s a pretty cheap kid.

I also take my daughter to a therapist that doesn’t accept our (or any) insurance. My daughter likes her, and I think she’s good. If I did a bunch of hunting, I could probably find someone good who is cheaper, but I’m happy with the current situation. And once again, Dd doesn’t have expensive taste. She plays sports at the school and is in the church choir, doesn’t play travel anything, doesn’t want Lululemon, etc. Overall, she’s not an expensive kiddo even though she has a couple of “unnecessary” expenses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if you are someone who gets what you want but truly wants very little. A non-mindful spender who spends way less than most mindful ones?

I agree with you. I have a child who loves math, so once a week I take him to meet 1:1 with a math tutor and do problems together. I buy them both a soda. It costs me about $70. He doesn’t need it, and it’s expensive, but it’s the highlight of his week. He doesn’t care much about his clothes or shoes and would never in a million years want $1500 concert tickets. Overall, even though we spend money fairly liberally on non-necessities, he’s a pretty cheap kid.

I also take my daughter to a therapist that doesn’t accept our (or any) insurance. My daughter likes her, and I think she’s good. If I did a bunch of hunting, I could probably find someone good who is cheaper, but I’m happy with the current situation. And once again, Dd doesn’t have expensive taste. She plays sports at the school and is in the church choir, doesn’t play travel anything, doesn’t want Lululemon, etc. Overall, she’s not an expensive kiddo even though she has a couple of “unnecessary” expenses.

I would argue this is mindful spending. You thought about it and decided it was worth it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But, I'm pp, and I disagree that buying Taylor Swift tickets for your kids will teach them about value, which is the very point of this thread. So, why bother getting angry about occasional guac when you're going to shell out $1500 pp for concert tickets.

Yeah, it does, but you don’t get it. All I can do is suggest you go back and reread prior responses. You’re probably the same person who believes kids don’t need this lesson bc they will learn it anyway by seeing prices on a menu.

Im not the person you are talking to, but I’m the person who has kids who can read the extra charges on the menu.

I realized later in the thread that a lot of people are ordering chipotle to their homes, and the kids might not actually have access to see the prices.

Honestly, if I went to order Chipotle to the house, my kids would tell me they will make themselves a PB&J and ask for the cash I would have spent on them.

Have you ever had discussions with your kids about what things cost, what is a want/need or whether an expense is worth it, etc?

Never! If they say, “mom, Taylor swift tickets are $1500, isn’t that crazy?” I always respond, “hush child, we do not speak of such things in this house. Take your discussion of what things cost elsewhere!”

It sounds like a weird question but I think it originated because someone claims kids don't need to know about the cost of stuff or have discussions with parents about wants/needs because they can read a menu and see for themselves what things cost. They will figure it out on their own.

That was me!
And I still think it’s a weird question. My kids DO need to know the cost of things, but they don’t need me to tell them what things cost when they can read it.

Yeah, I don’t agree. If a 12 year old can see that a smoothie is $10 on the menu, but mom always pays, always says yes, and doesn’t discuss it with kid, it could be $2 or $20 for the smoothie. Cost is irrelevant to the kid. Discussing or not discussing it, the dollar cost is still evident but the lesson is not.

Honestly, I think my kids are just a lot more anxious than yours. This really isn’t a “lesson” that I need to teach them. They would never ask for a $20 smoothie, and if I was in some kind of situation where I wanted to spend $100 on smoothies for the family, I would have a lot of trouble convincing them to get it.

I mean, how do you tell an anxious kid “no” to $3 guacamole because it’s too expensive and then convince them that it’s fine to buy lunch at school if they forgot to pack one? Or that you can absolutely afford to send them to summer camp and they don’t need to worry about it?

We make enough money, and I want my kids to know that they don’t have to be anxious about it or worry that we won’t have enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We make $650k. Got takeout for dinner last night from Tropical Smoothie cafe as my kids like their quesadillas. They both wanted smoothies too and I said no. With tax and tip they come to nearly $10/smoothie and they’re loaded with sugar. It’s more about the value of a dollar and the principal over whether we can afford it. Mindful spending.

LOL to saying no to smoothies from the smoothie place but yes to their quesadillas and then lecturing folks about knowing a good value when you see one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if you are someone who gets what you want but truly wants very little. A non-mindful spender who spends way less than most mindful ones?

I agree with you. I have a child who loves math, so once a week I take him to meet 1:1 with a math tutor and do problems together. I buy them both a soda. It costs me about $70. He doesn’t need it, and it’s expensive, but it’s the highlight of his week. He doesn’t care much about his clothes or shoes and would never in a million years want $1500 concert tickets. Overall, even though we spend money fairly liberally on non-necessities, he’s a pretty cheap kid.

I also take my daughter to a therapist that doesn’t accept our (or any) insurance. My daughter likes her, and I think she’s good. If I did a bunch of hunting, I could probably find someone good who is cheaper, but I’m happy with the current situation. And once again, Dd doesn’t have expensive taste. She plays sports at the school and is in the church choir, doesn’t play travel anything, doesn’t want Lululemon, etc. Overall, she’s not an expensive kiddo even though she has a couple of “unnecessary” expenses.

I would argue this is mindful spending. You thought about it and decided it was worth it.

I don’t know. I mean, I do pay $8 for two soft drinks every week!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if you are someone who gets what you want but truly wants very little. A non-mindful spender who spends way less than most mindful ones?

I agree with you. I have a child who loves math, so once a week I take him to meet 1:1 with a math tutor and do problems together. I buy them both a soda. It costs me about $70. He doesn’t need it, and it’s expensive, but it’s the highlight of his week. He doesn’t care much about his clothes or shoes and would never in a million years want $1500 concert tickets. Overall, even though we spend money fairly liberally on non-necessities, he’s a pretty cheap kid.

I also take my daughter to a therapist that doesn’t accept our (or any) insurance. My daughter likes her, and I think she’s good. If I did a bunch of hunting, I could probably find someone good who is cheaper, but I’m happy with the current situation. And once again, Dd doesn’t have expensive taste. She plays sports at the school and is in the church choir, doesn’t play travel anything, doesn’t want Lululemon, etc. Overall, she’s not an expensive kiddo even though she has a couple of “unnecessary” expenses.

I would argue this is mindful spending. You thought about it and decided it was worth it.

Everyone thinks it’s “worth it” when they spend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We make $650k. Got takeout for dinner last night from Tropical Smoothie cafe as my kids like their quesadillas. They both wanted smoothies too and I said no. With tax and tip they come to nearly $10/smoothie and they’re loaded with sugar. It’s more about the value of a dollar and the principal over whether we can afford it. Mindful spending.

You go to tropical smoothie cafe for the food? That's the most daft thing I have read on here. You get the combo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if you are someone who gets what you want but truly wants very little. A non-mindful spender who spends way less than most mindful ones?

I agree with you. I have a child who loves math, so once a week I take him to meet 1:1 with a math tutor and do problems together. I buy them both a soda. It costs me about $70. He doesn’t need it, and it’s expensive, but it’s the highlight of his week. He doesn’t care much about his clothes or shoes and would never in a million years want $1500 concert tickets. Overall, even though we spend money fairly liberally on non-necessities, he’s a pretty cheap kid.

I also take my daughter to a therapist that doesn’t accept our (or any) insurance. My daughter likes her, and I think she’s good. If I did a bunch of hunting, I could probably find someone good who is cheaper, but I’m happy with the current situation. And once again, Dd doesn’t have expensive taste. She plays sports at the school and is in the church choir, doesn’t play travel anything, doesn’t want Lululemon, etc. Overall, she’s not an expensive kiddo even though she has a couple of “unnecessary” expenses.

I would argue this is mindful spending. You thought about it and decided it was worth it.

Everyone thinks it’s “worth it” when they spend.

If you aren’t mindful, you don’t evaluate anything. I need gas, so I will get it at the next station. Don’t forget to take a water bottle from home isn’t a thought. Grabs what they want from the grocery store without thinking “wow, this a $x for a single piece of fruit, I will get this fruit instead.”

My sister in law/former spouse was like this. Almost a million HHI, but had debt. Paid off their house and then got a HELOC. Her husband got stock options every year in December. Their “plan” was to spend freely - without thought to how much or how much more they could have in savings and every Dec when he got his options, he’d exercise them, sell the stock immediately and use the $70k profit to pay off their cc debt.

It was beyond comprehension how they could blow through his income and still have debt but if you watched her on a vacation or just our for a few hours, you understood that almost no consideration was given to weighing the value of something.

In your statement, it isn’t just “I want it” for mindfulness spenders, but “I want it” at this price…and other considerations are weighed. I love mangoes…but I am not getting one for $2.75. My consideration is more than if I want it. Happy to grab an alternative and wait.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if you are someone who gets what you want but truly wants very little. A non-mindful spender who spends way less than most mindful ones?

I agree with you. I have a child who loves math, so once a week I take him to meet 1:1 with a math tutor and do problems together. I buy them both a soda. It costs me about $70. He doesn’t need it, and it’s expensive, but it’s the highlight of his week. He doesn’t care much about his clothes or shoes and would never in a million years want $1500 concert tickets. Overall, even though we spend money fairly liberally on non-necessities, he’s a pretty cheap kid.

I also take my daughter to a therapist that doesn’t accept our (or any) insurance. My daughter likes her, and I think she’s good. If I did a bunch of hunting, I could probably find someone good who is cheaper, but I’m happy with the current situation. And once again, Dd doesn’t have expensive taste. She plays sports at the school and is in the church choir, doesn’t play travel anything, doesn’t want Lululemon, etc. Overall, she’s not an expensive kiddo even though she has a couple of “unnecessary” expenses.

I would argue this is mindful spending. You thought about it and decided it was worth it.

Everyone thinks it’s “worth it” when they spend.

If you aren’t mindful, you don’t evaluate anything. I need gas, so I will get it at the next station. Don’t forget to take a water bottle from home isn’t a thought. Grabs what they want from the grocery store without thinking “wow, this a $x for a single piece of fruit, I will get this fruit instead.”

My sister in law/former spouse was like this. Almost a million HHI, but had debt. Paid off their house and then got a HELOC. Her husband got stock options every year in December. Their “plan” was to spend freely - without thought to how much or how much more they could have in savings and every Dec when he got his options, he’d exercise them, sell the stock immediately and use the $70k profit to pay off their cc debt.

It was beyond comprehension how they could blow through his income and still have debt but if you watched her on a vacation or just our for a few hours, you understood that almost no consideration was given to weighing the value of something.

In your statement, it isn’t just “I want it” for mindfulness spenders, but “I want it” at this price…and other considerations are weighed. I love mangoes…but I am not getting one for $2.75. My consideration is more than if I want it. Happy to grab an alternative and wait.

This only makes sense if you are using a $3 mango as a metaphor for a $3,000/night hotel room.
No one is blowing through a million dollars $3 at a time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if you are someone who gets what you want but truly wants very little. A non-mindful spender who spends way less than most mindful ones?

If you get what you want without consideration of price, you’re not a mindful spender. You don’t give it another thought regarding value, price, alternatives, frequency (we already got takeout 2x last week), amount you could save by not getting it, do you really want the item, etc.

But isn't what we want often based on price to begin with?

Not if you’re not mindful. You want it, you get it, obviously within reason. You’re not getting a Birken just bc you want it. But if you’re not mindful, then if you want it, you don’t have any consideration for the price most of the time. You want it, you get it.

Mindful considers the questions above: value, price, alternatives, frequency (we already got takeout 2x last week), amount you could save by not getting it, do you really want the item, etc. Mindful still means you’ll get the item but have almost instantaneously run through whether it was worth it: Diet Coke, coffee, this gas station, fruit, whatever.

But we want things based on our experience and that ties into price. I want a Starbucks latte because I've had them and liked them. So I buy one without a second thought. I've never had a super expensive, super fancy latte. Don't even know where I'd get one. So I'm unlikely to want one to begin with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if you are someone who gets what you want but truly wants very little. A non-mindful spender who spends way less than most mindful ones?

If you get what you want without consideration of price, you’re not a mindful spender. You don’t give it another thought regarding value, price, alternatives, frequency (we already got takeout 2x last week), amount you could save by not getting it, do you really want the item, etc.

But isn't what we want often based on price to begin with?

Not if you’re not mindful. You want it, you get it, obviously within reason. You’re not getting a Birken just bc you want it. But if you’re not mindful, then if you want it, you don’t have any consideration for the price most of the time. You want it, you get it.

Mindful considers the questions above: value, price, alternatives, frequency (we already got takeout 2x last week), amount you could save by not getting it, do you really want the item, etc. Mindful still means you’ll get the item but have almost instantaneously run through whether it was worth it: Diet Coke, coffee, this gas station, fruit, whatever.

But we want things based on our experience and that ties into price. I want a Starbucks latte because I've had them and liked them. So I buy one without a second thought. I've never had a super expensive, super fancy latte. Don't even know where I'd get one. So I'm unlikely to want one to begin with.

Absolutely not…I like mangoes but don’t buy them if they are over certain price. I would almost never get a coffee out unless meeting a friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if you are someone who gets what you want but truly wants very little. A non-mindful spender who spends way less than most mindful ones?

If you get what you want without consideration of price, you’re not a mindful spender. You don’t give it another thought regarding value, price, alternatives, frequency (we already got takeout 2x last week), amount you could save by not getting it, do you really want the item, etc.

But isn't what we want often based on price to begin with?

Not if you’re not mindful. You want it, you get it, obviously within reason. You’re not getting a Birken just bc you want it. But if you’re not mindful, then if you want it, you don’t have any consideration for the price most of the time. You want it, you get it.

Mindful considers the questions above: value, price, alternatives, frequency (we already got takeout 2x last week), amount you could save by not getting it, do you really want the item, etc. Mindful still means you’ll get the item but have almost instantaneously run through whether it was worth it: Diet Coke, coffee, this gas station, fruit, whatever.

But we want things based on our experience and that ties into price. I want a Starbucks latte because I've had them and liked them. So I buy one without a second thought. I've never had a super expensive, super fancy latte. Don't even know where I'd get one. So I'm unlikely to want one to begin with.

Absolutely not…I like mangoes but don’t buy them if they are over certain price. I would almost never get a coffee out unless meeting a friend.

Look. That’s fine, but if you are making $450k +, that’s a personal preference. That’s not adding up to anything meaningful.

We want to pay for our kids private schools, so we bought a smaller house that we didn’t do a huge renovation on, we paid cash for used cars, and we take average, not first class, vacations. That’s how we afford to pay for our kids school. We could also send them to public school and have the bigger house and fancier vacations. It’s a trade off.

But nowhere in this trade-off is the price of gas or whether or not we purchase the occasional Starbucks or pricey mango. Because those things don’t make a difference.

[Anonymous]

I am very mindful about spending, but as I am older and busy, time is also a currency. So I am not driving around to save 10 cents a gallon on gas, and if I don’t have time to pack my lunch, I will buy it. That doesn’t really help with the guacamole example though.
This thread has actually been insightful though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if you are someone who gets what you want but truly wants very little. A non-mindful spender who spends way less than most mindful ones?

If you get what you want without consideration of price, you’re not a mindful spender. You don’t give it another thought regarding value, price, alternatives, frequency (we already got takeout 2x last week), amount you could save by not getting it, do you really want the item, etc.

But isn't what we want often based on price to begin with?

Not if you’re not mindful. You want it, you get it, obviously within reason. You’re not getting a Birken just bc you want it. But if you’re not mindful, then if you want it, you don’t have any consideration for the price most of the time. You want it, you get it.

Mindful considers the questions above: value, price, alternatives, frequency (we already got takeout 2x last week), amount you could save by not getting it, do you really want the item, etc. Mindful still means you’ll get the item but have almost instantaneously run through whether it was worth it: Diet Coke, coffee, this gas station, fruit, whatever.

But we want things based on our experience and that ties into price. I want a Starbucks latte because I've had them and liked them. So I buy one without a second thought. I've never had a super expensive, super fancy latte. Don't even know where I'd get one. So I'm unlikely to want one to begin with.

Absolutely not…I like mangoes but don’t buy them if they are over certain price. I would almost never get a coffee out unless meeting a friend.

Look. That’s fine, but if you are making $450k +, that’s a personal preference. That’s not adding up to anything meaningful.

We want to pay for our kids private schools, so we bought a smaller house that we didn’t do a huge renovation on, we paid cash for used cars, and we take average, not first class, vacations. That’s how we afford to pay for our kids school. We could also send them to public school and have the bigger house and fancier vacations. It’s a trade off.

But nowhere in this trade-off is the price of gas or whether or not we purchase the occasional Starbucks or pricey mango. Because those things don’t make a difference.

Upthread there was a gas and plain weekly Sbux coffee that added to almost $1000/year. During your kid’s minority, that’s close to $20,000. Now if this is your mindset, it will extrapolates beyond mangoes and gas. Over the years and across the scope of expenses, it is a huge amount.

How much is tuition? Is it worth it to you to give up 1 sbux a week + find nearby cheaper gas in order to have $20,000 extra in 20 years? You need to make that call.

But to say these aren’t meaningful savings when it is applied to lots of purchases is fooling yourself.