White women try to "reclaim power" through #vanillagirl and #cleangirl beauty posts??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm shocked by some of what I've read. White women going on and on about how they're victims and finding it cathartic that they've found other rich white women to FINALLY listen to them and give their rants credibility.

Welcome to the real world, ladies.
- Asian woman who has been dumped on and stereotyped my whole life and is still having a really hard time empathizing here.

How do white women pushing back on clothing and makeup fascism take away from your own experience? You’re proving the point of the posters here: “let’s take out white women because it’s their turn” or something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm shocked by some of what I've read. White women going on and on about how they're victims and finding it cathartic that they've found other rich white women to FINALLY listen to them and give their rants credibility.

Welcome to the real world, ladies.
- Asian woman who has been dumped on and stereotyped my whole life and is still having a really hard time empathizing here.

Ok, so your point is that you have trouble empathizing with people of other races?

Your post doesn't bring out very much empathy and me, in turn. It's pretty laughable to say that as an Asian woman you've been " dumped on your whole life, " -give me a break.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm shocked by some of what I've read. White women going on and on about how they're victims and finding it cathartic that they've found other rich white women to FINALLY listen to them and give their rants credibility.

Welcome to the real world, ladies.
- Asian woman who has been dumped on and stereotyped my whole life and is still having a really hard time empathizing here.[/quote]

How do white women pushing back on clothing and makeup fascism take away from your own experience? You’re proving the point of the posters here: “let’s take out white women because it’s their turn” or something. [/quote]


It’s exactly that - a companion piece to that essay. PP, I haven’t done a damn thing to stereotype you in my life, but as a very, very light Latina, I’ve heard my fair share of garbage, but don’t think any particular group of women need to be crapped on. How idiotic.

More people should actually read the substack - it’s so poorly done and such a strange noughties throwback in a way. Cao wants a “ghetto pass” to show she’s in solidarity with brown and black American women and if you read her flaming crapsack with a knowing eye, you’ll see pretty clearly she doesn’t have one. It’s a piggish and patronizing exercise she engaged in. She gave an unanswered virtual high-five to rapist-marrying, witness-intimidating Nicki Minaj like she’s been in a #hotgirlbutmakeitRipVanWinkle power nap for the past few years. Because Nicki sparred with Miley Cyrus and that was awesome! That kind of timeless observation makes me think those hideous JCrew bubble necklaces may be coming back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm shocked by some of what I've read. White women going on and on about how they're victims and finding it cathartic that they've found other rich white women to FINALLY listen to them and give their rants credibility.

Welcome to the real world, ladies.
- Asian woman who has been dumped on and stereotyped my whole life and is still having a really hard time empathizing here.

Can you explain what you mean by “welcome to the real world.”

Also, I’m white but not rich. I wish I was! Not all white women are rich, just like not all Asian people are good at math.

It’s fine to struggle with empathy. I often struggle with empathy but I still find it a worthwhile goal.

[Anonymous]

I want to pull out something from the Cao essay that I think really gets to the point:

“It’s not exactly a secret that white women have long held a cultural currency in playing victim. Whether it’s BBQ Becky, or true crime, or being the face in a superhero’s locket, white women have enjoyed a place in the cultural imagination as the perfect victim, that they have then exerted as a tool to oppress others. It’s not without its unique challenges; years of literature have shown that the true perfect victim is helpless, silent, or dead, and that applies to white women, too. However, even though violent crime is far more likely to happen to women of color, the image of someone worth saving in America is ultimately tied to the white woman.”

Here is where Cao is losing me and why I think a lot of us are pissed about her essay: BEING A VICTIM SUCKS AND IS NOT A WORTHWHILE PATH TO POWER.

Like I AGREE with Cao that white women have held this cultural position as the “perfect victim” for a long time. And I agree with her that making whites women victims has been used to justify violence against POC. Yes, this has happened. AND I do think that whites women have occupied the role of victim fir so long that some whites women don’t know how else to operate, that they give up assertive power in order to place themselves in a victim’s position where they hope to receive the protection of white men.

Hope to.

But has this happened because white women have chosen to make themselves victims, in order to accomplish THEIR goal of oppressing and doing violence to POC. Like stop and ask if this is an arrangement that (1) whites women created themselves, or (2) benefitted from?

Or has the position of “victim” been assigned to white women because it minimizes and weakens them, because it places them in subservience to fathers and husbands, because while women were the property of white men?

Yes, white women have historically been placed on a pedestal by white men. And you might look at that and get mad— why is SHE on that pedestal? Why can’t I be on that pedestal? Why don’t people celebrate my beauty, my delicate fragility? And in doing this you might not notice that pedestal is inside a damn cage and you might ignore who holds the keys.

It’s fine to tell white women to get off the damn pedestal. I want us to do this too! But yelling at the women on the pedestal while totally ignoring the cage or the jailer is not going to make anything better. Where the hell do you expect her to go when she’s inside that cage?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm shocked by some of what I've read. White women going on and on about how they're victims and finding it cathartic that they've found other rich white women to FINALLY listen to them and give their rants credibility.

Welcome to the real world, ladies.
- Asian woman who has been dumped on and stereotyped my whole life and is still having a really hard time empathizing here.

If you have been dumped on your whole life, how can you NOT understand other women of *any race* not wanting to be dumped on? Really?

Do you not get that ALL women get dumped on, even rich white ones? Do you not get that many, many women of all varieties have, in fact, *been victimized*?

And it is interesting how you have decided all PPs on here are rich.

Perhaps you need to sit with this discomfort a little, eh?

[Anonymous]

An aside: Very very light Latina from above — you are an entertaining and good writer. Please post more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm shocked by some of what I've read. White women going on and on about how they're victims and finding it cathartic that they've found other rich white women to FINALLY listen to them and give their rants credibility.

Welcome to the real world, ladies.
- Asian woman who has been dumped on and stereotyped my whole life and is still having a really hard time empathizing here.

Do you happen to work for Buzzfeed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:An aside: Very very light Latina from above — you are an entertaining and good writer. Please post more.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm shocked by some of what I've read. White women going on and on about how they're victims and finding it cathartic that they've found other rich white women to FINALLY listen to them and give their rants credibility.

Welcome to the real world, ladies.
- Asian woman who has been dumped on and stereotyped my whole life and is still having a really hard time empathizing here.

Do you happen to work for Buzzfeed?

+1, crossed my mind too

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I want to pull out something from the Cao essay that I think really gets to the point:

“It’s not exactly a secret that white women have long held a cultural currency in playing victim. Whether it’s BBQ Becky, or true crime, or being the face in a superhero’s locket, white women have enjoyed a place in the cultural imagination as the perfect victim, that they have then exerted as a tool to oppress others. It’s not without its unique challenges; years of literature have shown that the true perfect victim is helpless, silent, or dead, and that applies to white women, too. However, even though violent crime is far more likely to happen to women of color, the image of someone worth saving in America is ultimately tied to the white woman.”

Here is where Cao is losing me and why I think a lot of us are pissed about her essay: BEING A VICTIM SUCKS AND IS NOT A WORTHWHILE PATH TO POWER.

Like I AGREE with Cao that white women have held this cultural position as the “perfect victim” for a long time. And I agree with her that making whites women victims has been used to justify violence against POC. Yes, this has happened. AND I do think that whites women have occupied the role of victim fir so long that some whites women don’t know how else to operate, that they give up assertive power in order to place themselves in a victim’s position where they hope to receive the protection of white men.

Hope to.

But has this happened because white women have chosen to make themselves victims, in order to accomplish THEIR goal of oppressing and doing violence to POC. Like stop and ask if this is an arrangement that (1) whites women created themselves, or (2) benefitted from?

Or has the position of “victim” been assigned to white women because it minimizes and weakens them, because it places them in subservience to fathers and husbands, because while women were the property of white men?

Yes, white women have historically been placed on a pedestal by white men. And you might look at that and get mad— why is SHE on that pedestal? Why can’t I be on that pedestal? Why don’t people celebrate my beauty, my delicate fragility? And in doing this you might not notice that pedestal is inside a damn cage and you might ignore who holds the keys.

It’s fine to tell white women to get off the damn pedestal. I want us to do this too! But yelling at the women on the pedestal while totally ignoring the cage or the jailer is not going to make anything better. Where the hell do you expect her to go when she’s inside that cage?

Whether or not you agree that white women’s role in society is defined and constricted by victimhood (I disagree), that doesn’t mean it’s ok to further constrict them by Karening and imposing impossible clothing and finger nail shape choices. What sort of twisted revenge is that?

I do agree that white women have been on the pedestal. This is (justifiably) a big source of the resentment. It’s time for them to share space on it and/or get off. But again, the answer is not silencing one group of women and making them wear black latex so they don’t offend anyone, that’s just sick. The answer is elevating POC women.

[Anonymous]

NPR is so laughably out of touch. I used to be an avid listener and had to stop during covid.

[Anonymous]

Yes, white women have been controlled/victimized by a combination of men’s Madonna/whore thing, the industrial revolution’s glorification of motherhood, society-wide oppression of other races, and being the largest race proportionately. This not an unalloyed good thing. And it’s a stereotype, because many of us still get molested and talked over in meetings and we’re not all rich.

Yes, white women need to get off the pedestal (the Madonna thing). But the answer is not to silence them, make them wear black latex and rip their nails out because there’s no inoffensive nail shape. (And you just know Steffi would start claiming black latex and bloody nail beds are the new white women power symbols.) That’s someone’s sick revenge fantasy.

The answer is to elevate all women. Even Steffi had to acknowledge that POC women have gained power, on her way to arguing that oval nails are white women’s attempt to “reclaim” power they’ve lost. Let’s keep elevating POC.

[Anonymous]

A thought, is Karening white women just a new take on the “meek and mild” victimhood trope that Steffi ironically claims to despise?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, white women have been controlled/victimized by a combination of men’s Madonna/whore thing, the industrial revolution’s glorification of motherhood, society-wide oppression of other races, and being the largest race proportionately. This not an unalloyed good thing. And it’s a stereotype, because many of us still get molested and talked over in meetings and we’re not all rich.

Yes, white women need to get off the pedestal (the Madonna thing). But the answer is not to silence them, make them wear black latex and rip their nails out because there’s no inoffensive nail shape. (And you just know Steffi would start claiming black latex and bloody nail beds are the new white women power symbols.) That’s someone’s sick revenge fantasy.

The answer is to elevate all women. Even Steffi had to acknowledge that POC women have gained power, on her way to arguing that oval nails are white women’s attempt to “reclaim” power they’ve lost. Let’s keep elevating POC.

I’m so tired of the word elevate. It’s just meaningless blather. How about we just get rid of the pedestal and bring everyone back down to earth for some common sense?