no one noticing my weight loss

[Anonymous]

so, my parents live in the area and went away for 2 weeks and my mother told me i had gained a lot of weight and looked terrible. she NEVER says anything critical, so i really jumped into gear... got a weight tracker app, started working out more, etc... and i've lost 7 pounds... but no one has noticed at all; i'm short (5-1), 37 and have had two kids...
no one has even said anything at work (mostly women, and there's a fair amount of discussion about weight loss/diets/etc) and not my parents... wondering if my weight loss is phantom - my weight does seem to fluctuate during the week/day... i started out at 126 (which is well above my usual) and have come to 119 on my home scale - naked and at my lowest

but today, at the dr's office - fully clothed and with shoes on and a heavy-ish sweater, i was 125.

so, have i lost weight or not at all?

of note, i feel slimmer and sleeker and my pants fit better.

[Anonymous]

Where do you live that you were wearing a heavyish sweater in August?

[Anonymous]

OP, I never comment on a colleague or friend's weight. It seems rude for me to observe; it's not my business one way or another. And if I say something about them losing weight, doesn't that assume I thought they were carrying too much before?
Just saying, maybe that's the pov of your friends too.

[Anonymous]

OK, a few questions:
What did you do to lose weight?
How long did it take you to reach 119 from 126?
How long did it take you to reach 125 with clothes from 119 without?

I suspect most of your weight loss was water weight, and you gained some of it back quickly. Your body shape and muscle tone did not change, which is why no one noticed.
Plus 7 lbs isn't much, and depending on how you dress, may not be noticeable at all. Also, not wanting to disparage your mother, but she might have meant something else - like you'd aged suddenly. Losing 7 lbs won't cure that.

So my advice is this:
First, don't let criticism get to you.

Second, if you really want to do something for yourself, don't lose weight. Lift weights to create muscle definition. Cut out all unhealthy fats from processed foods and meat (not fish) so that these muscles can be seen - you can have the best abs but if they're hidden under a layer of belly fat no one will see them. Do cardio for a stronger heart and higher metabolism that will consume more calories. Eat less, particularly less sugar and fat (sugar converts into fat in your body).

If you do this intensively for several months, I guarantee people will notice!

[Anonymous]

7 pounds? Get real

[Anonymous]

I'm with you OP, my neighbor last week just noticed that I lost weight. I'm at 15 lbs and counting. It's slow going so people may not notice, how long has it taken for the weight to come off?

Just feel good with your achievement and keep pushing.

[Anonymous]

I have lost 15 pounds since March. The only person who has said anything to me about it is a woman who I see once a week in another department at work. My own husband hasn't said anything to me.

[Anonymous]

I lost 60 pounds before people started commenting, no joke.

[Anonymous]

You look great OP!

Seriously, especially at work, I wouldn't comment on anyone's weight loss in case they took it the wrong way. If you're wearing the same clothes you were before, then even in my family we might not say anything. In a new outfit or sonething that shows off the hard work you've been doing, then I'd feel safe commenting on how good you look. FWIW, I think that was really rude of your mom. I'd probably try to just enjoy feeling better and look forward to the reveal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I lost 60 pounds before people started commenting, no joke.

Possibly because at that point they felt safe because it was SO noticeable. By the way CONGRATS!

I would not comment on the weight loss of anyone unless I knew then VERY WELL, in which case I would probably know they are trying to lose weight in the first place.

OP- I am so sorry your mother used those words to describe you!!! That is so sad. Just try to remember that you will NEVER EVER EVER do that to your kids.

Im about your build and weight, and I found that I have weird water weight issues that seem to change with the wind. I stopped looking at the scale, and cut out gluten, which I noticed in my case was making a difference in that water issue. Not ALOT but some. I also only ate a little wheat. But when I cut that out, I mean that one piece of toast at breakfast, the mystery seven pounds came away.

I had even tried weight lifting, and that didnt work either. It just made me look bulkier. But now that I am slimmer and fit back in my smaller clothes, Im going to do the weight training again.

[Anonymous]

It takes awhile for people to notice. 7 pounds is not a ton of weight lost (not to begrudge you on your loss) since it was probably just water weight and many people fluctuate a few pounds here or there daily. It's when you lose a dress size or more likely two that people start to notice. I'm 5 feet and it took around 15 -20 pounds for people to notice - and that was with cardio and weights.

[Anonymous]

OP, I dont know what kind of relationship you have with your mother, but I am not happy reading how she treated you and your immediate response.

Even if you wished to get in shape on your own, do you feel its ok for your mother to say you look "terrible"?

My mother was blunt about things like weight which she learned from her dad who was that way with his four kids, all daughters. THey were all a bit neurotic about weight, and these are all petite women with a naturally low weight.

Words like "terrible" don't leave much room for interpretation. Did she actually use this word? If so, seriously OP, you ought to inform her that this is not ok.

There is no need to demoralize a person like that.

[Anonymous]

10:23 again- I forgot to add that my mother would never say I looked "terrible". But she would say it about herself...

[Anonymous]

I'm also 5'1" and want to add that 7 lbs on my frame is a very noticeable difference. I'm 120 right now, but was 126 at my heaviest and I looked overweight at that point. So, it's very believable that OP looks like she's lost weight if she's truly down 7 lbs. I've also noticed the fluctuations throughout the day (and for whatever reason, the doctor office scale is ALWAYS weighing me heavier than my home or the gym). You'll be the lightest first thing in the morning, before eating or drinking. If your appt. is later in the day it's reasonable to weigh a little more due to food, water and clothing. For me, the best yardstick of weight loss is measurement. Use a tape measure and record your thighs, hips, stomach at the belly button, and bust and use those measurements as your guide as to how effectively you are losing fat.

[Anonymous]

Most people would not comment on a small amount of weight loss if they even notice it. You have to be very careful when talking about weight with women, in general, and it's so easy to say the wrong thing.

Now if someone has clearly lost a lot and looks great - or if I know someone is actively dieting or going to a trainer and they look great - you bet your skinnier ass I will say something. Typically, "You look fantastic!"

Weigh yourself once a week at the same time on the same day in the same amount of clothing. And don't worry too much about weekly #s, but after a month you should see some sort of movement if you're dieting and exercising enough.