Wives who have cheated: share your story?

[Anonymous]

Frequently you hear about men cheating. Any wives out there who have stepped out of your marriage? Do your husbands know? Care to share?

[Anonymous]

Short version:
Emotional affair turned physical, I confessed, we nearly divorced and both worked on our relationship, and now our marriage is stronger.

Long version:
Had preemie baby with special needs - boss who wanted me to work until 10pm most nights and WE too - baby was refusing all bottles at daycare and failed to thrive - husband would do drop off and pick up, and hardly interact with him at baby at all - husband completely checked out - I developed thyroiditis and had panic attacks - my coworker listened and sympathized - we had an affair - I confessed to husband, and told him I wanted a divorce if he wasn't more involved - husband woke up and promised to work on things - I quit my job to do intensive therapies with baby - baby's health and our communication progressively improved in a 2 year span - now we are good.

I don't regret it. It made me understand what I was missing in my marriage. Additionally, my husband would probably not have agreed to change for anything less threatening. I realized later he probably has Asperger's.

[Anonymous]

Currently sleeping with the other man. Wish my husband paid more attention to me. Alas, gotta get it elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

Husband and I were going through a tough time. Started hanging out with a guy who was working at my work at the time. We started seeing each other more and more outside work. I guess at the rime I was kind of naive and didn't see it coming but we ended up sleeping together. After the initial guilt wore of we found more and more excuses to spend time together and sleep together more often. We started sleeping together 13 months ago and still see each other one or two times a week. Yes I have feelings for him but at this point I have sex with him more out of habit than wanting a relationship with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Frequently you hear about men cheating. Any wives out there who have stepped out of your marriage? Do your husbands know? Care to share?

You hear about men cheating but very few people ask them for their story. They too often have it just as hard at home and just as much of a rationalizing sob story as women do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Frequently you hear about men cheating. Any wives out there who have stepped out of your marriage? Do your husbands know? Care to share?

You hear about men cheating but very few people ask them for their story. They too often have it just as hard at home and just as much of a rationalizing sob story as women do.

Then start a thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Husband and I were going through a tough time. Started hanging out with a guy who was working at my work at the time. We started seeing each other more and more outside work. I guess at the rime I was kind of naive and didn't see it coming but we ended up sleeping together. After the initial guilt wore of we found more and more excuses to spend time together and sleep together more often. We started sleeping together 13 months ago and still see each other one or two times a week. Yes I have feelings for him but at this point I have sex with him more out of habit than wanting a relationship with him.

How do you do this and then go home to your husband and sleep next to him? We don't have details but suppose your husband is a decent guy and you are going through the normal ups and downs of a marriage? Is this fair to your husband? What if your husband is trying to make the marriage work? What is your motivation for this?

[Anonymous]

Damm. You women have so much baggage. We (men) just wanna fuck.

[Anonymous]

I was unhappy and overwhelmed. My husband was checked out. He wanted another baby and I kept having miscarriages, the emotional fallout from which he was also checked out of. I started confiding more in a close male friend. We spent more and more time together. We slept together one time, which was basically an accident. I told my husband everything a couple weeks later and we separated, more or less amicably. He did tell everyone what I'd done, and that was hard for a while, but it was several years ago and everything is fine now.

I married the man I had the affair with. We are expecting a child next spring. He and my ex-husband will never be best friends, but they are cordial to each other and often coordinate childcare for my older child because their schedules are flexible and mine isn't.

[Anonymous]

Women make to excuses instead of accepting responsibility. Men are like, not enough sex at home my bad I am wrong. Men move on women don't so it's easier to savage a relationship after male infidelity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was unhappy and overwhelmed. My husband was checked out. He wanted another baby and I kept having miscarriages, the emotional fallout from which he was also checked out of. I started confiding more in a close male friend. We spent more and more time together. We slept together one time, which was basically an accident. I told my husband everything a couple weeks later and we separated, more or less amicably. He did tell everyone what I'd done, and that was hard for a while, but it was several years ago and everything is fine now.

I married the man I had the affair with. We are expecting a child next spring. He and my ex-husband will never be best friends, but they are cordial to each other and often coordinate childcare for my older child because their schedules are flexible and mine isn't.

The problem is you not the men

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was unhappy and overwhelmed. My husband was checked out. He wanted another baby and I kept having miscarriages, the emotional fallout from which he was also checked out of. I started confiding more in a close male friend. We spent more and more time together. We slept together one time, which was basically an accident. I told my husband everything a couple weeks later and we separated, more or less amicably. He did tell everyone what I'd done, and that was hard for a while, but it was several years ago and everything is fine now.

I married the man I had the affair with. We are expecting a child next spring. He and my ex-husband will never be best friends, but they are cordial to each other and often coordinate childcare for my older child because their schedules are flexible and

You should be required to only have women friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was unhappy and overwhelmed. My husband was checked out. He wanted another baby and I kept having miscarriages, the emotional fallout from which he was also checked out of. I started confiding more in a close male friend. We spent more and more time together. We slept together one time, which was basically an accident. I told my husband everything a couple weeks later and we separated, more or less amicably. He did tell everyone what I'd done, and that was hard for a while, but it was several years ago and everything is fine now.

I married the man I had the affair with. We are expecting a child next spring. He and my ex-husband will never be best friends, but they are cordial to each other and often coordinate childcare for my older child because their schedules are flexible and mine isn't.

The problem is you not the men

Is you husband remarried? Person, if I could get away with it and was your ex, and would beat your new husband for what he did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was unhappy and overwhelmed. My husband was checked out. He wanted another baby and I kept having miscarriages, the emotional fallout from which he was also checked out of. I started confiding more in a close male friend. We spent more and more time together. We slept together one time, which was basically an accident. I told my husband everything a couple weeks later and we separated, more or less amicably. He did tell everyone what I'd done, and that was hard for a while, but it was several years ago and everything is fine now.

I married the man I had the affair with. We are expecting a child next spring. He and my ex-husband will never be best friends, but they are cordial to each other and often coordinate childcare for my older child because their schedules are flexible and mine isn't.

And of course he was so understanding and nurturing and his penis felt the same way.....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was unhappy and overwhelmed. My husband was checked out. He wanted another baby and I kept having miscarriages, the emotional fallout from which he was also checked out of. I started confiding more in a close male friend. We spent more and more time together. We slept together one time, which was basically an accident. I told my husband everything a couple weeks later and we separated, more or less amicably. He did tell everyone what I'd done, and that was hard for a while, but it was several years ago and everything is fine now.

I married the man I had the affair with. We are expecting a child next spring. He and my ex-husband will never be best friends, but they are cordial to each other and often coordinate childcare for my older child because their schedules are flexible and mine isn't.

The problem is you not the men

Is you husband remarried? Person, if I could get away with it and was your ex, and would beat your new husband for what he did.

He's in a relationship with an awesome woman. I like her and think she's great for him (much better than I ever was, even before I cheated). As for your other remark, I'm glad that my ex-husband is not a violent person. What you describe is assault, and we did what we did together. Should my ex husband violently assault me too? I'm the one who broke a vow to him, after all.

As for the above PP who says that women make excuses instead of taking responsibility, I took responsibility. To my ex. To my friends. To my family. To HIS family. I simply posted what happened and my reasons for doing what I did on this thread, because the prompt was not "wives who cheat, please expound on how fucking sorry you are." I am deeply sorry that I hurt my ex, who is a good person who didn't deserve that pain. I have apologized to him many times and have made every effort in the years since we divorced to treat him with respect and kindness. He was angry with me for a while, but he is the kind of person who doesn't really see the point of holding onto anger and vengeful thoughts. He went to therapy. I went to therapy. We moved on.