Am I expecting too much from therapy for anxiety?

[Anonymous]

I recently started seeing a therapist about anxiety and being unable to stop focusing on all the bad things happening in the world. She's nice and I enjoy our chats, but when I talk about things that worry or upset me she says, "Well, don't worry about them." Like, when there's something terrible in the news: "That's not going to happen to you. It doesn't affect you." I know it's not going to happen to me, but that doesn't make me feel any better about the fact it's happening to other people just like me, and I can't stop thinking about it happening to them.

I'm frustrated. But, I am not sure what I expect her to do or say. I don't know if a different therapist would be helpful, because I don't know what anyone can really do to make me not horrified by horrible things that happen. Maybe I need religion instead of therapy.

Those with experience: is my therapist's approach pretty normal? Or could I expect something more concrete if I went elsewhere? She is the second therapist I've seen and the other was equally baffled by my inability to just logic my way through anxiety.

[Anonymous]

It doesn't sound like she is helping you. I would try a different therapist.

[Anonymous]

Look for someone who practices CBT.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look for someone who practices CBT.

+ 1

CBT and related therapies are about concrete things to do when unwelcome thoughts pop up--the "how" of "how do I stop worrying about everything?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look for someone who practices CBT.

+ 1

CBT and related therapies are about concrete things to do when unwelcome thoughts pop up--the "how" of "how do I stop worrying about everything?"

NP here. Many people on DCUM (and beyond) recommends CBT for anxiety and I've been searching high and low to find a good CBT in NOVA with no luck. For those of you who swear by CBT, can you please recommend a great therapist in NOVA?

[Anonymous]

I've found that there is a wide range of CBT among therapists. Many of them are just like what you described OP, chit chat nothing helpful or concrete.

Honestly, if you have obsessive thoughts about the bad things, I would try someone who specializes in OCD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look for someone who practices CBT.

+ 1

CBT and related therapies are about concrete things to do when unwelcome thoughts pop up--the "how" of "how do I stop worrying about everything?"

NP here. Many people on DCUM (and beyond) recommends CBT for anxiety and I've been searching high and low to find a good CBT in NOVA with no luck. For those of you who swear by CBT, can you please recommend a great therapist in NOVA?

I live in NoVA - mine is in Bethesda/N. Potomac - Dr. Laura Primakoff. Takes me 20 minutes from McLean because it's exit #1 on route 270. She's very worth it.

[Anonymous]

I think you should keep trying.

Look for another therapist OP.

Do not give up.

Also, have you thought about going on some medication as well?

[Anonymous]

Good CBT can be very effective. Unfortunately, it can be very hard to find. Most therapists will say they do CBT, but it turns out just to be talk therapy.

While you are looking for a good therapist, you might consider doing one of the CBT workbooks for anxiety--check out reviews on Amazon. A near relative, who was very disciplined, was able to treat himself by faithfully doing the workbooks.

[Anonymous]

I agree it would be wise to try another therapist. I tried 3 who I did not connect with at all. Then #4 I just found great chemistry, and she is very patient with my idiosyncrasies. Therapy is more of an art than science. Best wishes, OP!

[Anonymous]

Yes, try another therapist. CBT gives you practical tools and exercises to deal with things.

Also, seriously, cut back on your news reading/watching, and limit what kinds of news stories you allow yourself. This is what I had to do, and it works. It's not sticking your head in the sand. You can be very aware of what's going on in the world without wallowing in the sensational way it's reported.

[Anonymous]

CBT *is* talk therapy. It's one kind, and it's not the only one, though there are studies showing it can help with anxiety.

OP, have you tried telling either therapist your reaction to their advice? i.e., tell her you're frustrated because you don't feel like she gets it, and see what she says. She may not be able to help, but at least give that a shot before you move on.

You want a therapist who will treat *you*, not just someone who espouses CBT or any other form of therapy as the end-all be-all. That doesn't exist.

[Anonymous]

There are also worksheets for free and workbooks for purchase if you google CBT for anxiety.

[Anonymous]

One thing I wonder is how many therapists posing as satisfied clients/patients are on this website? Google Laura Primakoff, for example, and you come up with a few recommendations a year for her, nearly each one including her location, telephone number, and the fact that she does not take insurance. Hmm.

[Anonymous]

Find another therapist and consider medication. It sounds like your mind gets stuck on intrusive thoughts. Medication can help unstick you so you can take advantage of the therapy.