What American "cultural" things you don't do or allow your kids to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Bed Party" or "Dorm Party" before going to college. OMG - this is sooooo tacky.

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1325566.page

Everyone seems to be posing in the same style. Yikes. I hope that this tackiness is not carried over to the actual dorm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not American, but I don’t see the issue with carpooling. What’s wrong with that? We don’t do sleepovers due to a fear of SA, and we wouldn’t allow dating, because we don’t believe in intimacy before marriage, but what is wrong with carpooling?

Wild take.
I am pretty old and I choose to stay celibate in college, every single men who were interested in me left within 6 weeks. Have fun trying to get married 😆

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Motorcycles
Tattoos
Drinking and driving
Private plane trips (yes a few moco kids have died in private planes)
AP classes

This was my favorite list. No one will disagree with drinking and driving.

We can see your point on motorcycles and tattoos.

But how often is your kid being asked for private plane trips? Even if you know others that do them, are they inviting your family?

And then you are banning AP classes? Are they really in the same category? That made me laugh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Frankly...everything in the MAGA-world.

Work hard, find dignity in even menial work, provide for your families and children, love your country, be a good spouse, don't depend on public assistance, have a relationship with God/attend church, believe in free speech...

All things that the folks I have met who call themselves Maga live and espouse.


** I would say judging people as a monolithic identity group based on discord and stereotypes sowed on social media by political operatives and overseas bot farms would be the best current "cultural" thing to avoid doing in your lives and raising your kids.

LOL, good one, Comrade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t push my kids to succeed academically. I don’t care if they do extracurriculars. Don’t care if they go to college or not. Most of our evenings and weekends are just spent chilling at home.

Same!!! I find it absurd, honestly.

Why have kids if you don't want them to do well in life and be successful?

DP but in my family experience the ones who went to college didn’t get anything out of it. We aren’t wealthy and my family spent a lot of money for these degrees.
Myself: degree in biochemistry, now work part time doing low level science
Husband: degree, has paper pusher job
Sister: degree, married well, doesn’t work
Female Cousin: degree, married well, doesn’t work
Male cousins: no degree, make more than the rest of us combined doing manual labor/trades
So I know what my sons should aim for.

Frankly, you and your family sounds dumb. You should have chosen more in-demand degrees in college. For that, you needed the kind of academic chops that only develops by consistent, long term curiosity and hard work. Or you could have pivoted.

Parents are a key component in the academic guidance and support that children need to reach there.

You know what happens to the folks who choose the in-demand degrees, don’t you, sweetie?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Frankly...everything in the MAGA-world.

Work hard, find dignity in even menial work, provide for your families and children, love your country, be a good spouse, don't depend on public assistance, have a relationship with God/attend church, believe in free speech...

All things that the folks I have met who call themselves Maga live and espouse.


** I would say judging people as a monolithic identity group based on discord and stereotypes sowed on social media by political operatives and overseas bot farms would be the best current "cultural" thing to avoid doing in your lives and raising your kids.

I'm so tired of this BS gaslighting. MAGA elected one of the most corrupt and criminal presidents we have ever had. He is dismantling our democracy before our eyes. He is blatantly pushing white supremacy and authoritarianism. Just this morning, he called Kim Jong Un a "decent guy" who he gets along with while labeling the people he is supposed to govern as liberal scum, traitors, and lunatics. And MAGA is saying, "Great job, president." No, you all are decent folks. You can go to church all you want but I want nothing to do wiht you.

One of the problems with these (self-professed) God-fearing, freedom loving, salt-of-the-earth MAGA types is that they are too dumb to understand how much public assistance they actually DO rely on, and how afraid they are of ACTUAL freedom or responsibility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Frankly...everything in the MAGA-world.

Work hard, find dignity in even menial work, provide for your families and children, love your country, be a good spouse, don't depend on public assistance, have a relationship with God/attend church, believe in free speech...

All things that the folks I have met who call themselves Maga live and espouse.


** I would say judging people as a monolithic identity group based on discord and stereotypes sowed on social media by political operatives and overseas bot farms would be the best current "cultural" thing to avoid doing in your lives and raising your kids.

I'm so tired of this BS gaslighting. MAGA elected one of the most corrupt and criminal presidents we have ever had. He is dismantling our democracy before our eyes. He is blatantly pushing white supremacy and authoritarianism. Just this morning, he called Kim Jong Un a "decent guy" who he gets along with while labeling the people he is supposed to govern as liberal scum, traitors, and lunatics. And MAGA is saying, "Great job, president." No, you all are decent folks. You can go to church all you want but I want nothing to do wiht you.

Well yeah, a lot of them are just that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t push my kids to succeed academically. I don’t care if they do extracurriculars. Don’t care if they go to college or not. Most of our evenings and weekends are just spent chilling at home.

Same!!! I find it absurd, honestly.

Why have kids if you don't want them to do well in life and be successful?

DP but in my family experience the ones who went to college didn’t get anything out of it. We aren’t wealthy and my family spent a lot of money for these degrees.
Myself: degree in biochemistry, now work part time doing low level science
Husband: degree, has paper pusher job
Sister: degree, married well, doesn’t work
Female Cousin: degree, married well, doesn’t work
Male cousins: no degree, make more than the rest of us combined doing manual labor/trades
So I know what my sons should aim for.

Frankly, you and your family sounds dumb. You should have chosen more in-demand degrees in college. For that, you needed the kind of academic chops that only develops by consistent, long term curiosity and hard work. Or you could have pivoted.

Parents are a key component in the academic guidance and support that children need to reach there.

Non-professional parents aren’t in a place to guide their children though. I remember my parents pushed hard for me to do engineering and I fought hard for pre-med, but caved in and did math instead. They then pushed for accounting but caved in second round.

Now my engineering friends are making 120k in their 40s and I make 3x that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Frankly...everything in the MAGA-world.

Work hard, find dignity in even menial work, provide for your families and children, love your country, be a good spouse, don't depend on public assistance, have a relationship with God/attend church, believe in free speech...

All things that the folks I have met who call themselves Maga live and espouse.


** I would say judging people as a monolithic identity group based on discord and stereotypes sowed on social media by political operatives and overseas bot farms would be the best current "cultural" thing to avoid doing in your lives and raising your kids.

I'm so tired of this BS gaslighting. MAGA elected one of the most corrupt and criminal presidents we have ever had. He is dismantling our democracy before our eyes. He is blatantly pushing white supremacy and authoritarianism. Just this morning, he called Kim Jong Un a "decent guy" who he gets along with while labeling the people he is supposed to govern as liberal scum, traitors, and lunatics. And MAGA is saying, "Great job, president." No, you all are decent folks. You can go to church all you want but I want nothing to do wiht you.

Well yeah, a lot of them are just that.

May you feel the effects of your vote the strongest. You have to be a special kind of stupid to think that the president is right to speak more kindly of the North Koran dictator than his fellow citizens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Frankly...everything in the MAGA-world.

Work hard, find dignity in even menial work, provide for your families and children, love your country, be a good spouse, don't depend on public assistance, have a relationship with God/attend church, believe in free speech...

All things that the folks I have met who call themselves Maga live and espouse.


** I would say judging people as a monolithic identity group based on discord and stereotypes sowed on social media by political operatives and overseas bot farms would be the best current "cultural" thing to avoid doing in your lives and raising your kids.

I'm so tired of this BS gaslighting. MAGA elected one of the most corrupt and criminal presidents we have ever had. He is dismantling our democracy before our eyes. He is blatantly pushing white supremacy and authoritarianism. Just this morning, he called Kim Jong Un a "decent guy" who he gets along with while labeling the people he is supposed to govern as liberal scum, traitors, and lunatics. And MAGA is saying, "Great job, president." No, you all are decent folks. You can go to church all you want but I want nothing to do wiht you.

Well yeah, a lot of them are just that.

Same presidents might think this, but don’t have the gall to say it aloud. You know this, though.

A friend said he could be the most beloved president because for whatever reason people are drawn to him. He could have successfully rebuilt this country, lifting the tide for everyone. It’s true.

But he’d rather be petty and greedy and screw hardworking Americans, preferring to leave an infamous legacy where hundreds of millions across the globe will cheer his death.

It’s not the choice I’d have made.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does it bother people if other parents don’t want their underage children having sex? Thats disgusting. They are children. This is the United States. People should have the freedom to believe and do whatever they want.

10 years from now your kid is going to be sitting in therapy because their parent called them disgusting when they found out they had sex at 17 with their also 17 year old boyfriend or girlfriend. That’s was teenagers do. It’s normal, it’s healthy and it’s parents like you that cause kids to grow up having intimacy issues.

NP. No, teenagers having sex is not healthy (unless they’re married, and most teens are not mature enough for that). Sex is a huge commitment that involves emotional intimacy and physical risks as well (STDs, pregnancy). Even if you have no religious or moral objection to teen sex, consider this: no birth control is 100%. If your son gets a girl pregnant, he has zero say in what happens next. None. She might abort a baby he wanted to raise. He may spend the rest of his life paying for a baby he didn’t want. I tell my son not to have sex with anyone he wouldn’t want to co-parent with for the rest of his life.

And causal sex is more likely to lead to intimacy issues than avoiding it is. DH and I dated for many years without having sex and eventually got married. Very close with each other and our families of origin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does it bother people if other parents don’t want their underage children having sex? Thats disgusting. They are children. This is the United States. People should have the freedom to believe and do whatever they want.

10 years from now your kid is going to be sitting in therapy because their parent called them disgusting when they found out they had sex at 17 with their also 17 year old boyfriend or girlfriend. That’s was teenagers do. It’s normal, it’s healthy and it’s parents like you that cause kids to grow up having intimacy issues.

NP. No, teenagers having sex is not healthy (unless they’re married, and most teens are not mature enough for that). Sex is a huge commitment that involves emotional intimacy and physical risks as well (STDs, pregnancy). Even if you have no religious or moral objection to teen sex, consider this: no birth control is 100%. If your son gets a girl pregnant, he has zero say in what happens next. None. She might abort a baby he wanted to raise. He may spend the rest of his life paying for a baby he didn’t want. I tell my son not to have sex with anyone he wouldn’t want to co-parent with for the rest of his life.

And causal sex is more likely to lead to intimacy issues than avoiding it is. DH and I dated for many years without having sex and eventually got married. Very close with each other and our families of origin.

Why does being married make it healthy? That's a mind-bogglingly stupid claim. There's literally no difference between marital and non-marital sex, from a health standpoint.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does it bother people if other parents don’t want their underage children having sex? Thats disgusting. They are children. This is the United States. People should have the freedom to believe and do whatever they want.

10 years from now your kid is going to be sitting in therapy because their parent called them disgusting when they found out they had sex at 17 with their also 17 year old boyfriend or girlfriend. That’s was teenagers do. It’s normal, it’s healthy and it’s parents like you that cause kids to grow up having intimacy issues.

NP. No, teenagers having sex is not healthy (unless they’re married, and most teens are not mature enough for that). Sex is a huge commitment that involves emotional intimacy and physical risks as well (STDs, pregnancy). Even if you have no religious or moral objection to teen sex, consider this: no birth control is 100%. If your son gets a girl pregnant, he has zero say in what happens next. None. She might abort a baby he wanted to raise. He may spend the rest of his life paying for a baby he didn’t want. I tell my son not to have sex with anyone he wouldn’t want to co-parent with for the rest of his life.

And causal sex is more likely to lead to intimacy issues than avoiding it is. DH and I dated for many years without having sex and eventually got married. Very close with each other and our families of origin.

Why does being married make it healthy? That's a mind-bogglingly stupid claim. There's literally no difference between marital and non-marital sex, from a health standpoint.

There is certainly a difference from an emotional standpoint. And married people are (presumably) in a committed relationship and monogamous. They have the infrastructure in place to take care of an unexpected child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does it bother people if other parents don’t want their underage children having sex? Thats disgusting. They are children. This is the United States. People should have the freedom to believe and do whatever they want.

10 years from now your kid is going to be sitting in therapy because their parent called them disgusting when they found out they had sex at 17 with their also 17 year old boyfriend or girlfriend. That’s was teenagers do. It’s normal, it’s healthy and it’s parents like you that cause kids to grow up having intimacy issues.

NP. No, teenagers having sex is not healthy (unless they’re married, and most teens are not mature enough for that). Sex is a huge commitment that involves emotional intimacy and physical risks as well (STDs, pregnancy). Even if you have no religious or moral objection to teen sex, consider this: no birth control is 100%. If your son gets a girl pregnant, he has zero say in what happens next. None. She might abort a baby he wanted to raise. He may spend the rest of his life paying for a baby he didn’t want. I tell my son not to have sex with anyone he wouldn’t want to co-parent with for the rest of his life.

And causal sex is more likely to lead to intimacy issues than avoiding it is. DH and I dated for many years without having sex and eventually got married. Very close with each other and our families of origin.

Why does being married make it healthy? That's a mind-bogglingly stupid claim. There's literally no difference between marital and non-marital sex, from a health standpoint.

Outside of puritans, it’s typical to gift married couple some kind of financial assets (some money, a few household items) so they have a small safety net if there is new born.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does it bother people if other parents don’t want their underage children having sex? Thats disgusting. They are children. This is the United States. People should have the freedom to believe and do whatever they want.

10 years from now your kid is going to be sitting in therapy because their parent called them disgusting when they found out they had sex at 17 with their also 17 year old boyfriend or girlfriend. That’s was teenagers do. It’s normal, it’s healthy and it’s parents like you that cause kids to grow up having intimacy issues.

NP. No, teenagers having sex is not healthy (unless they’re married, and most teens are not mature enough for that). Sex is a huge commitment that involves emotional intimacy and physical risks as well (STDs, pregnancy). Even if you have no religious or moral objection to teen sex, consider this: no birth control is 100%. If your son gets a girl pregnant, he has zero say in what happens next. None. She might abort a baby he wanted to raise. He may spend the rest of his life paying for a baby he didn’t want. I tell my son not to have sex with anyone he wouldn’t want to co-parent with for the rest of his life.

And causal sex is more likely to lead to intimacy issues than avoiding it is. DH and I dated for many years without having sex and eventually got married. Very close with each other and our families of origin.

In reality your son is pressuring the girls to have sex with him. Not the other way around.