Please help stop looking down on my mom

[Anonymous]

My mom is here to spend a few weeks with us this summer and every time she comes over I'm so mean to her. The thing is my mom is very unsophisticated and I seem to snap at every question she asks. She's a rube a Clampett and everything from. It knowing what an iPad is used to do to thinking a backup camera is "futuristic". And she's overweight and uses a cane so I'm embarrassed to take her out in public. She thought whole foods was "magical". Ugh. But when she leaves I feel really bad.

[Anonymous]

You can't seriously be this nasty. Please be trolling.

[Anonymous]

OP, is English your second language?

[Anonymous]

I have some friends I would like to have visit me from out of town who would make me feel the same way. I always invite them but they never come but I have wondered what I would do if they did. I feel for you but have no advice. There must be plenty of people who aren't from this area who have the same feelings about their relatives (or friends).

[Anonymous]

I hear you, OP. I was impatient and lacked empathy with my mother sometimes, too.
But then she died, and I regret every kind thought I ever had about her.
Mothers simply do the best they can. Cut her a break.

Love her. You are lucky to have a mother.

[Anonymous]

Please be kind to her. She is your MOTHER. You won't regret it. You will be full of regrets, however, if you mock her and are cruel. Be patient and loving if you possibly can.

I'm not a Pollyanna, and can be bitchy to people who don't matter in my life. But a mother does matter.

[Anonymous]

Why the hell would she want to spend any time with you?

[Anonymous]

Remember when you thought a TV was magical or the first time your mother took you somewhere you thought was amazing (think Toys R Us)?

She took the time to teach you EVERYTHING as a child. You walk, and talk, read, feed yourself, go to the bathroom and so much more thanks to your mother.

Think of the times you picked your nose, or lifted up your dress in public embarrassing your mother. She still took you out with her didn't she?

Keep this in mind next time you want to criticize her.
Trust me, my mother can drive me nuts too but it is thanks to her that I have the life I have today.

Cut your mother some slack for you and for her.

[Anonymous]

You feel bad because you are acting like a jerk. My mom isn't all that sophisticated, but I would never dream of being embarrassed by her. My friends all love her because she's warm, friendly, funny, has a lot of common sense, has a great sense of adventure and a sense of humor, and is so kind and supportive. What's embarrassing about that? So what if she doesn't pronounce words right or doesn't know how to use an iPad? She's awesome. She's one of the few people who loves me unconditionally, and that's worth more than any amount of sophistication.

[Anonymous]

OP said she feels bad for how she treats her mom -- she is asking for help stopping it. What is your advice, rather than scolding her for doing it?

[Anonymous]

My mom embarrasses me for other reasons than yours does plus she just wasn't a very good mom, but I have made my mind up to be a good daughter if it kills me. Sometimes it is just a matter of will power and saying I'm going to do the right thing. Do you have kids? Keep in mind that they pick up on attitudes. Just make your mind up to provide a good example to them of how to treat someone.

[Anonymous]

I sometimes get frustrated with my mom and I get very impatient and short with her. But when I leave for the day I am so happy that I got to spend time with her, and I am so grateful to have her in my life. Next time you start feeling angry/frustrated by her, just think about her not being in your life, and be grateful that she is. Also think how bad she probably feels when someone talks down to her. Hopefully this will help you think twice and be more kind.

[Anonymous]

Ask yourself how you would feel if A) Someone else talked to your mother (or their own mother) that way and B) how you would feel if she talked to you that way. Look at the situation from the point of view of someone looking in. Would you treat her that way in front of your boss or in front of someone you admire? Would you be embarrassed for someone else to see you talk to her that way?

Treat people the way you want them to treat you. That's the lesson I've learned in life on how to be around people who make me a little crazy. It's not 100% but I am so much better than I was when I was younger. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry, I try to be sensitive to people here expressing embarrassing private thoughts, but this is despicable. There has to be something seriously broken in you to think this way about your own mother.

[Anonymous]

OP, are you the wannabe social climber?