Men: do brains make up for lack of looks?
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Anonymous
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I will be the first to admit that I am fat. I'm 5'4" and 200 lbs and the thinnest I've ever been is 185 lbs. I have never really attracted men. However, I went to HYP for undergrad and then Harvard Business School for my MBA, and now make a very nice living as a consultant. I have a wide circle of friends and am very well liked, and I know I'm smart. I've never really been able to attract men, however, because of how I look and because I can't really flirt.
I want to marry a man who has an Ivy League background and comes from a good family. I think that with my brains and career success and social network, I should look like attractive girlfriend material for a successful man. Will they be able to see past my weight? (Don't talk to me about weight loss - I've been down that road a million times, and now I've just decided to accept that I'm fat and the fat is here to stay.) |
Anonymous
| Just marry another fat person |
Anonymous
| The problem is that you're hoping men won't be shallow for only wanting to date a thin women while you're just as shallow for only wanting to date a many with an Ivy League degree... |
Anonymous
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Sounds like you're narrowing your pool quite a bit - must have an Ivy background? "Successful man" - I assume you mean financially? Really? (I say this as an Ivy Leaguer)
If you can shrink your own pool, so can men. You're not just slightly overweight - you're obese. A very overweight man may be the most realistic option. |
Anonymous
+ a million |
Anonymous
Couldn't agree more. Ivy League is a club. It doesn't mean better education. Not by a long shot. |
Anonymous
Add in short too. An ivy graduate that is short and fat. Win-win. |
Anonymous
Don't forget...comes from a good family (whatever that means). |
Anonymous
Jeez, I have an MBA from top 15, not Ivy. Guess I'm not good enough for you. |
Anonymous
| Sexual enthusiasm makes up for a lot when it comes to a woman's lack of physical attractiveness. Being "smart" (I'm assuming book smart - there are a variety of kinds of intelligence) doesn't do much. |
Anonymous
| You can't flirt? Personality would be a big help in making yourself more attractive. If you can't create & foster any sexual tension with flirty, there isn't any hope for an Ivy Leaguer or a community college guy. |
Anonymous
The problem isn't your weight. It's your attitude. |
Anonymous
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OP, are you willing to date AA men with an ivy league degree? Dress well, take care of your hair and makeup. I'm an AA woman, and quite slim, not very successful in attracting AA men but white men sure are attracted to me. Your weight wouldn't be a problem for many non-white men. Do you have an attractive face and large ass?
You can be fat and workout. Are you fat and toned or just fat? |
Anonymous
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I am not toned, unfortunately. I've been like this for as long as I can remember.
I don't care about the man's looks and would happily date a fat man. And while I am a non-white woman (won't be more specific - need to maintain anonymity and DC is a small town), I have no race barrier and would happily date an AA man. But yes, I am afraid I am an elitist about his educational background. |
Anonymous
"need to maintain anonymity and DC is a small town" "185 lbs", "I went to HYP for undergrad and then Harvard Business School for my MBA, and now make a very nice living as a consultant." Honey, you aren't unique no one will know who you are |