No-kid weddings

[Anonymous]

I have never been to a wedding that didn't allow kids, but it seems to come up on Carolyn Hax quite a bit so I'm curious what goes on at these weddings and what most guests do when they are invited.

Just wondering what reasons people have for this. I would think primarily it's because the couple doesn't like kids or doesn't want a fussy baby or active child "ruining" the ceremony or getting in the way on the dance floor. Or is there another reason I just don't get?

[Anonymous]

What do you mean what goes on? People get babysitters. I didn't have a no kid wedding and I have kids, but I can see why people have them. It isn't complicated.

[Anonymous]

My sister in law is about to have a non kid wedding, which is her choice. However, everyone is traveling from out of town, and all her siblings and cousins have children. I'm not sure if she expects them all to leave the kids at home for a weekend (these are all under 5) or all find babysitters in her town.

[Anonymous]

99% of weddings I have gone to have had kids so I always used to think people that didn't invite them just weren't really kid people which is totally fine. I've come to realize that adding kids can be costly for some people as it definitely adds up.

[Anonymous]

I think most kids under 5 would not react well to a random new babysitter in a new environment / hotel. Many parents don't want to leave their kids at home for a weekend just to go to someone's wedding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean what goes on? People get babysitters. I didn't have a no kid wedding and I have kids, but I can see why people have them. It isn't complicated.

Read again. What goes on at the wedding.

I've never been to one, but i assume people just want a calm, formal affair that doesn't involve the crazy kids - even totally delightful kids! - bring. And they don't want to pay for the food that goes uneaten, among other things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have never been to a wedding that didn't allow kids, but it seems to come up on Carolyn Hax quite a bit so I'm curious what goes on at these weddings and what most guests do when they are invited.

Just wondering what reasons people have for this. I would think primarily it's because the couple doesn't like kids or doesn't want a fussy baby or active child "ruining" the ceremony or getting in the way on the dance floor. Or is there another reason I just don't get?

This or cost. You have to feed people too.

Many people get babysitters. Sometimes when a wedding isn't local, people make arrangements for sitters during the wedding.

[Anonymous]

It's just a sign of the selfishness and "me" culture of today. Weddings are supposed to be celebrations of union that you host for your family and friends, not a fete spotlighting the bridezilla. Sometime in the past 10 years or so, Americans have lost sight of that and now it's all "me, me, me!" at weddings -- god forbid a family member is not old enough to be "up to snuff," they will be disinvited.

It's really sad, but whatever. I am lucky that I don't have any friends who are horrible narcissists. I just skip weddings of relatives who have done this. Clearly my family's presence doesn't matter to them, as long as enough people show up that they can be the center of attention, I can't imagine they even care.

[Anonymous]

I don't mind if people have no kid weddings, but it places an undue burden (financial, emotional, and otherwise) on people traveling for the wedding. We are in this tough situation with a few weddings right now. We don't have anyone to watch our child at home and bringing our child will make the logistics crazy and I'll probably miss the receptions. Hardly seems worth it to go for me since it will just be a huge expensive headache and I won't enjoy myself at all, but we don't really have that option.

[Anonymous]

I think its narcissistic to think that your kids belong at every event. You wouldn't expect to bring them to a cocktail party, which is essentially what a wedding is.

I see no problem with it. If you can't be apart from your kids for 4 hours, that's a problem.

[Anonymous]

We had a very small wedding and one one set of kids. The baby screamed through the entire ceremony. I fully support no kid weddings and we leave ours home.

[Anonymous]

It's the easiest way to cut back on the number of guests.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think its narcissistic to think that your kids belong at every event. You wouldn't expect to bring them to a cocktail party, which is essentially what a wedding is.

I see no problem with it. If you can't be apart from your kids for 4 hours, that's a problem.

I find this thinking so odd. To me, a wedding is an event in which your loved ones - regardless of age- celebrate with you. NOT essentially 'a cocktail party.' I've gone to plenty of events and overnight trips with DH without kids so I'm not some mom attached to my kids 24/7.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't mind if people have no kid weddings, but it places an undue burden (financial, emotional, and otherwise) on people traveling for the wedding. We are in this tough situation with a few weddings right now. We don't have anyone to watch our child at home and bringing our child will make the logistics crazy and I'll probably miss the receptions. Hardly seems worth it to go for me since it will just be a huge expensive headache and I won't enjoy myself at all, but we don't really have that option.

Agree....and then they get offended? Please.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think its narcissistic to think that your kids belong at every event. You wouldn't expect to bring them to a cocktail party, which is essentially what a wedding is.

I see no problem with it. If you can't be apart from your kids for 4 hours, that's a problem.

No, weddings are not cocktail parties.

Are you some weird Sex-and-the-City type who thinks everything is a cocktail party for adults? Weddings are parties the couple throw for others that they love and who care about their relationship. Not cocktail parties. God, how shallow.