H is not happy with sex only once a week

[Anonymous]

I am just not in the mood more than once per week. He says he's going crazy and will soon start to stray if things do not pick up.

We've been together for more than 10 years and we've NEVER had an active bedroom life (read twice per month, sometimes with long stretches of career-related absences). So what we have now is really intense compared to our history. I have no clue what has gotten into him suddenly. Any insights?

[Anonymous]

Listen to him. He said once a week isn't enough and that he is thinking about looking for it elsewhere. Why would you not satisfy your husband? Doesn't have to be every day but he should be satisfied.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like he's probably been unhappy in the sex department for the past 10 years but has tried to be understanding to your low libido. Now he's fed up.

Try to meet him halfway. If he wants it 7 days a week, try to do 3. Even if 2 of those 3 is a blow job or hand job.

Signed wife with higher sex drive and is very happily married and satisfied because DH and I work on the problem together vs saying it has to be one of our ways only.

[Anonymous]

He's tired and fed up with your denial. Fix it or find someone who is happy with once a week at best.

[Anonymous]

Counseling. It is not fair for him to coerce more sex via threats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Counseling. It is not fair for him to coerce more sex via threats.

And it's not fair for OP to force him to put up with being unsatisfied. Compromise people, compromise.

[Anonymous]

Any indication that he maybe has already strayed? Or that someone else may have reignited his drive?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Any indication that he maybe has already strayed? Or that someone else may have reignited his drive?

I was wondering the same thing.

[Anonymous]

If you want to stay married you better step up. I prefer my divorce. Now I have sex with who I want, when I want. Being pressured is a total turn off. Yuck, But if you want to keep him, put out.

[Anonymous]

I'd be over the f-ing moon if DW managed to work herself up for once a week. She manages to get in the mood a couple of times a month and it's been that way since our first was born about 5 years ago.

She's always got reasons why she's too tired, too stressed, too whatever, but doing anything about the issues that supposedly keep her from getting in the mood has little effect.

Not interested in spending the money to pay for it b/c I'd rather save that for my kids college funds, and not interested in straying because I love her and the other aspects of our relationship.

So, at the end of the day I'm glad there's plenty of free porn on the internet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Counseling. It is not fair for him to coerce more sex via threats.

And it's not fair for OP to force him to put up with being unsatisfied. Compromise people, compromise.

I agree. But, he if he said he would stray, that's kind of a dick move. He should have said he wanted an open marriage or a divorce. Not "I'm going to cheat."

Frankly, he should have discussed their sex life and what needs to change and how they can have a better marriage. If my DH said that, I would suspect him of cheating and divorce him. Once the trust is gone, it's gone.

That being said, we have sex at least once a week. We have been married 9 years and he has a high sex drive. He masturbates daily. I have a decent sex drive. I could go every day if the kids didn't prevent us.

Why the hell didn't you two discuss this sex drive issue or desire BEFORE you got married? We discussed everything. I know my DH wants sex and I want it too. We just have different drives, but we compromise and do what we both enjoy. By the way, do you enjoy sex with your DH? If you're not getting an orgasm at least 95% of the time, something is wrong. (I figure that approximately 5% of the time I am unable to for whatever reason--one of my meds used to prevent me from having one.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd be over the f-ing moon if DW managed to work herself up for once a week. She manages to get in the mood a couple of times a month and it's been that way since our first was born about 5 years ago.

She's always got reasons why she's too tired, too stressed, too whatever, but doing anything about the issues that supposedly keep her from getting in the mood has little effect.

Not interested in spending the money to pay for it b/c I'd rather save that for my kids college funds, and not interested in straying because I love her and the other aspects of our relationship.

So, at the end of the day I'm glad there's plenty of free porn on the internet.

I feel for you. I need sex at least once a week and if I go without for too long, I get cranky and I will mention it to DH. He's always ready to go when I am. He helps me get the kids to bed so we can have sex. (they are night owls and it can be hard to fight their natural sleep preference.)

Maybe you can arrange for a babysitter one night. Or plan a weekend getaway. Make it about the romance and maybe you'll get lucky. Get her some soft porn to read (NOT 50 shades crap, but I hear that works for some women.)

You can check out literotica.com and see what type of stories she likes. The site has free stories and maybe you can read some together? IF she is too prudish, that might not work.

My DH actually wrote me one and it was a HUGE turn on. But then again, we are comfortable with each other and can discuss stuff like sex.

OP, check out literotica.com. If reading some of those stories don't turn you on, then you need to find something to get your juices flowing....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Counseling. It is not fair for him to coerce more sex via threats.

And it's not fair for OP to force him to put up with being unsatisfied. Compromise people, compromise.

I agree. But, he if he said he would stray, that's kind of a dick move. He should have said he wanted an open marriage or a divorce. Not "I'm going to cheat."

Frankly, he should have discussed their sex life and what needs to change and how they can have a better marriage. If my DH said that, I would suspect him of cheating and divorce him. Once the trust is gone, it's gone.

That being said, we have sex at least once a week. We have been married 9 years and he has a high sex drive. He masturbates daily. I have a decent sex drive. I could go every day if the kids didn't prevent us.

Why the hell didn't you two discuss this sex drive issue or desire BEFORE you got married? We discussed everything. I know my DH wants sex and I want it too. We just have different drives, but we compromise and do what we both enjoy. By the way, do you enjoy sex with your DH? If you're not getting an orgasm at least 95% of the time, something is wrong. (I figure that approximately 5% of the time I am unable to for whatever reason--one of my meds used to prevent me from having one.)

If you cannot understand the issue of non-compatible sex drives, why do you join the discussion?

[Anonymous]

Add in a quickie one way - once or twice a week. Save the full on no holes barred for once a week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Counseling. It is not fair for him to coerce more sex via threats.

And it's not fair for OP to force him to put up with being unsatisfied. Compromise people, compromise.

I agree. But, he if he said he would stray, that's kind of a dick move. He should have said he wanted an open marriage or a divorce. Not "I'm going to cheat."

Frankly, he should have discussed their sex life and what needs to change and how they can have a better marriage. If my DH said that, I would suspect him of cheating and divorce him. Once the trust is gone, it's gone.

That being said, we have sex at least once a week. We have been married 9 years and he has a high sex drive. He masturbates daily. I have a decent sex drive. I could go every day if the kids didn't prevent us.

Why the hell didn't you two discuss this sex drive issue or desire BEFORE you got married? We discussed everything. I know my DH wants sex and I want it too. We just have different drives, but we compromise and do what we both enjoy. By the way, do you enjoy sex with your DH? If you're not getting an orgasm at least 95% of the time, something is wrong. (I figure that approximately 5% of the time I am unable to for whatever reason--one of my meds used to prevent me from having one.)

How sure is OP that he made a real threat vs just looking off some way to shock her into action? My guess is that her DH has tried many times - in his own way - to communicate his needs. Not a knock on OP, rather an acceptance that these conversations aren't always easy, especially because one spouse is almost automatically put on the defensive. So, I wonder if it's a threat with no teeth...

And you would really just up and get divorced over a suspicion?