What's the biggest secret you're keeping from your SO?

[Anonymous]

I wish we had never met.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That he is terrible in bed and has a small penis. I say this in all honesty as someone who loves him dearly.

How long do you plan on putting up with that ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:His breath is so nasty. It smells like rotten milk and that disgusting cavity smell ALL THE TIME. And let's not even get into his morning breath.

I never kiss him. I hold my breath when he is near me. I turn my head when he talks.

whats his deal??

I could've written this about my spouse too!!!

Ewww you all sure know how to pick them

[Anonymous]

I wish he would shut the door when he poops

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:His breath is so nasty. It smells like rotten milk and that disgusting cavity smell ALL THE TIME. And let's not even get into his morning breath.

I never kiss him. I hold my breath when he is near me. I turn my head when he talks.

whats his deal??

Mouth full of cavities and rotting teeth. He never took care of his teeth when he was little and ate nothing but junk.

Oh he is British?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wish he would shut the door when he poops

THAT is not something to keep secret.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That the father of our 4yo DD is my former AP and not my DH. I ended and ghosted my AP before he knew I was pregnant and my DH never suspecting anything. I'm not telling.

With the popularity of Ancestry results you aren't going to keep this a secret.

Totally - I’m pretty sure that in the future everyone will have their 23andme/ancestry/similar done (well, the future is almost now). There is no way anyone can keep any genetic secret - including donor eggs and such. Good all days of the early 20th century are gone forever.

This happened to my cousin. Her DH did 23andme on himself and the kids and found out the eldest isn’t his. Worse, he found it the kid he’s been raising as his is actually his second cousin. It’s already caused a fist fight between the DH and his cousin. Thanksgiving should be fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gave DH's great uncle a HJ while he was in the hospital dying of bone cancer

This is more f'ed up than banging the dog.

Nah, that was kinda sweet. Almost a public service. I’ve given dozens to wounded servicemen and vets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gave DH's great uncle a HJ while he was in the hospital dying of bone cancer

This is more f'ed up than banging the dog.

Nah, that was kinda sweet. Almost a public service. I’ve given dozens to wounded servicemen and vets.

How have you given dozens? Do you visit them in hospitals? Do they ask or do you offer?

[Anonymous]

I’m addicted to getting cream pied by Latino guys. He isn’t Latino.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m addicted to getting cream pied by Latino guys. He isn’t Latino.

I am.

[Anonymous]

Wife has refused to sleep with me me since birth of little one. We've had sex two times last three years. I've seen about a dozen escorts in that time. I tell her I need something but ain't can't even get a hand job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My SO is annoyed that I let my German Shepherd sleep on the bed. What he doesn't know is that when he travels on business my German Shepherd replaces him in bed.

You bang your dog? Gross!

Yeah I thought I was reading that wrong at first. You're a freak, PP!

It's really enjoyable. Just wear a t-shirt so you don't get scratched.[/quote
You can go to jail for that. And be on the sex registry list. For reals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wife has refused to sleep with me me since birth of little one. We've had sex two times last three years. I've seen about a dozen escorts in that time. I tell her I need something but ain't can't even get a hand job.

Hi hon! I don’t sleep with you because I know that you’re using drugs and having sex with tranny prostitutes. That’s how you got the STD that you tried to say was just a bacterial infection.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gave DH's great uncle a HJ while he was in the hospital dying of bone cancer

This is more f'ed up than banging the dog.

Nah, that was kinda sweet. Almost a public service. I’ve given dozens to wounded servicemen and vets.

Someone has been reading too much "The World According to Garp".