Inheritance debacle. WWYD?

[Anonymous]

Larla - why is your grandma telling you to pay Mary $1200 a month? How does your grandma think you have that kind of money?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay, so today things changed. Part of me is thinking that I should just give up and let her have it. She said that she will leave, but she wants to request that I give her a monthly stipend like my godmother used to give her. $1200/month for her personal expenses. I want to tell her no, but my gran is thinking that if this gets rid of her, I should agree.

For the first time in this thread, I'm thinking this is not real. There is no way an adult would request you give away such a large amount of money. I find it hard to believe that a real story would unfold this way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sell the house and split the proceeds with Mary and her brother. You take half and they can split the other half.

A young woman your age does not want to be saddled with a house and all that entails: maintenance, taxes, more maintenance- because stuff is always going wrong with houses. If you sell the house, you can use the money for your education and a nice apartment or condo.

It is so odd that Thelma left her family home to a great niece rather than her own children. Maybe she had some mental health difficulties herself. This is your chance to right that wrong so that the whole extended family can move forward. If you give Thelma's children part of the money now, you can know as you grow older that you did the right thing and can feel good about your actions.

Again with the taking care of Mary & Roy?

No just NO.

Mary & Roy were both included in the inheretence & Roy has not asked for a single dime... in fact, he backs LARLA not to give anything to Mary!

These were Thelma's dying wishes & Mary is NOT entitled to any more than Thelma left to her.

What is with you people that keep lumping Mary & Roy together & acting like they need eternal care?

NEWSFLASH: THEY ARE ADULTS!

Why does mental illness have to be involved if a mother doesn't want to enable her spoiled, lazy & entitled daughter anymore??

Mary is NOT a depressed invalid, she's an over entitled, over educated waitress... sheesh!

It is not caretaking to give them what rightfully belongs to their family. The circumstances of Thelma's "will" are such that there are questions as to whether it truly reflects her "dying wishes" - especially since she was not dying at the time she supposedly wrote the will and, according to Larla, was in perfect health on the day she died.

Mary and Roy should inherit the property that both their parents worked hard to earn and take care of over many years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sell the house and split the proceeds with Mary and her brother. You take half and they can split the other half.

A young woman your age does not want to be saddled with a house and all that entails: maintenance, taxes, more maintenance- because stuff is always going wrong with houses. If you sell the house, you can use the money for your education and a nice apartment or condo.

It is so odd that Thelma left her family home to a great niece rather than her own children. Maybe she had some mental health difficulties herself. This is your chance to right that wrong so that the whole extended family can move forward. If you give Thelma's children part of the money now, you can know as you grow older that you did the right thing and can feel good about your actions.

Again with the taking care of Mary & Roy?

No just NO.

Mary & Roy were both included in the inheretence & Roy has not asked for a single dime... in fact, he backs LARLA not to give anything to Mary!

These were Thelma's dying wishes & Mary is NOT entitled to any more than Thelma left to her.

What is with you people that keep lumping Mary & Roy together & acting like they need eternal care?

NEWSFLASH: THEY ARE ADULTS!

Why does mental illness have to be involved if a mother doesn't want to enable her spoiled, lazy & entitled daughter anymore??

Mary is NOT a depressed invalid, she's an over entitled, over educated waitress... sheesh!

It is not caretaking to give them what rightfully belongs to their family. The circumstances of Thelma's "will" are such that there are questions as to whether it truly reflects her "dying wishes" - especially since she was not dying at the time she supposedly wrote the will and, according to Larla, was in perfect health on the day she died.

Mary and Roy should inherit the property that both their parents worked hard to earn and take care of over many years.

Thanks for the input, Mary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay, so today things changed. Part of me is thinking that I should just give up and let her have it. She said that she will leave, but she wants to request that I give her a monthly stipend like my godmother used to give her. $1200/month for her personal expenses. I want to tell her no, but my gran is thinking that if this gets rid of her, I should agree.

NO! Are you insane?? She is an adult woman with a job and her mother already left her a ton of money! I have been reading this threat from the beginning, I think you should pay me 50 bucks a week for emotional distress.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sell the house and split the proceeds with Mary and her brother. You take half and they can split the other half.

A young woman your age does not want to be saddled with a house and all that entails: maintenance, taxes, more maintenance- because stuff is always going wrong with houses. If you sell the house, you can use the money for your education and a nice apartment or condo.

It is so odd that Thelma left her family home to a great niece rather than her own children. Maybe she had some mental health difficulties herself. This is your chance to right that wrong so that the whole extended family can move forward. If you give Thelma's children part of the money now, you can know as you grow older that you did the right thing and can feel good about your actions.

Again with the taking care of Mary & Roy?

No just NO.

Mary & Roy were both included in the inheretence & Roy has not asked for a single dime... in fact, he backs LARLA not to give anything to Mary!

These were Thelma's dying wishes & Mary is NOT entitled to any more than Thelma left to her.

What is with you people that keep lumping Mary & Roy together & acting like they need eternal care?

NEWSFLASH: THEY ARE ADULTS!

Why does mental illness have to be involved if a mother doesn't want to enable her spoiled, lazy & entitled daughter anymore??

Mary is NOT a depressed invalid, she's an over entitled, over educated waitress... sheesh!

It is not caretaking to give them what rightfully belongs to their family. The circumstances of Thelma's "will" are such that there are questions as to whether it truly reflects her "dying wishes" - especially since she was not dying at the time she supposedly wrote the will and, according to Larla, was in perfect health on the day she died.

Mary and Roy should inherit the property that both their parents worked hard to earn and take care of over many years.

W.T.F.
Wills don't count in your world unless the person is actually dying when he or she writes the will?
Good luck with that.

OP, get a lawyer to help you get Mary out of your house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sell the house and split the proceeds with Mary and her brother. You take half and they can split the other half.

A young woman your age does not want to be saddled with a house and all that entails: maintenance, taxes, more maintenance- because stuff is always going wrong with houses. If you sell the house, you can use the money for your education and a nice apartment or condo.

It is so odd that Thelma left her family home to a great niece rather than her own children. Maybe she had some mental health difficulties herself. This is your chance to right that wrong so that the whole extended family can move forward. If you give Thelma's children part of the money now, you can know as you grow older that you did the right thing and can feel good about your actions.

Again with the taking care of Mary & Roy?

No just NO.

Mary & Roy were both included in the inheretence & Roy has not asked for a single dime... in fact, he backs LARLA not to give anything to Mary!

These were Thelma's dying wishes & Mary is NOT entitled to any more than Thelma left to her.

What is with you people that keep lumping Mary & Roy together & acting like they need eternal care?

NEWSFLASH: THEY ARE ADULTS!

Why does mental illness have to be involved if a mother doesn't want to enable her spoiled, lazy & entitled daughter anymore??

Mary is NOT a depressed invalid, she's an over entitled, over educated waitress... sheesh!

It is not caretaking to give them what rightfully belongs to their family. The circumstances of Thelma's "will" are such that there are questions as to whether it truly reflects her "dying wishes" - especially since she was not dying at the time she supposedly wrote the will and, according to Larla, was in perfect health on the day she died.

Mary and Roy should inherit the property that both their parents worked hard to earn and take care of over many years.

W.T.F.
Wills don't count in your world unless the person is actually dying when he or she writes the will?
Good luck with that.

OP, get a lawyer to help you get Mary out of your house.

The previous post is the one that first used the phrase "dying wishes." There was something not quite right about that will all along. Larla's grandmother takes her sister to the lawyer and when they leave, Thelma is leaving her family home to her sister's granddaughter instead of to her own children. Ask a lawyer who does estate work how common it is to leave a family home to a great niece over one's own children and the answer would be that it is pretty darn uncommon. Mary and Roy should have consulted a lawyer as soon as they heard about this five year old will.

I wonder if Larla's grandmother is feeling a little guilty about how this all worked out and is trying to right the wrong by giving Mary more of her mother's money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Okay, so today things changed. Part of me is thinking that I should just give up and let her have it. She said that she will leave, but she wants to request that I give her a monthly stipend like my godmother used to give her. $1200/month for her personal expenses. I want to tell her no, but my gran is thinking that if this gets rid of her, I should agree.

For the first time in this thread, I'm thinking this is not real. There is no way an adult would request you give away such a large amount of money. I find it hard to believe that a real story would unfold this way.

That did it for me too. Entertaining, but for your grandma to tell you to do that is absurd. Would make a good lifetime movie. I will turn in tomorrow to see what Larla adds to the next chapter.

[Anonymous]

Per my grandma, my godmother wanted to leave me the house long before they went to the lawyer.

Currently, I have a lawyer currently, she told me to put the notice in writing for Mary to be out by mid march.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sell the house and split the proceeds with Mary and her brother. You take half and they can split the other half.

A young woman your age does not want to be saddled with a house and all that entails: maintenance, taxes, more maintenance- because stuff is always going wrong with houses. If you sell the house, you can use the money for your education and a nice apartment or condo.

It is so odd that Thelma left her family home to a great niece rather than her own children. Maybe she had some mental health difficulties herself. This is your chance to right that wrong so that the whole extended family can move forward. If you give Thelma's children part of the money now, you can know as you grow older that you did the right thing and can feel good about your actions.

Again with the taking care of Mary & Roy?

No just NO.

Mary & Roy were both included in the inheretence & Roy has not asked for a single dime... in fact, he backs LARLA not to give anything to Mary!

These were Thelma's dying wishes & Mary is NOT entitled to any more than Thelma left to her.

What is with you people that keep lumping Mary & Roy together & acting like they need eternal care?

NEWSFLASH: THEY ARE ADULTS!

Why does mental illness have to be involved if a mother doesn't want to enable her spoiled, lazy & entitled daughter anymore??

Mary is NOT a depressed invalid, she's an over entitled, over educated waitress... sheesh!

It is not caretaking to give them what rightfully belongs to their family. The circumstances of Thelma's "will" are such that there are questions as to whether it truly reflects her "dying wishes" - especially since she was not dying at the time she supposedly wrote the will and, according to Larla, was in perfect health on the day she died.

Mary and Roy should inherit the property that both their parents worked hard to earn and take care of over many years.

W.T.F.
Wills don't count in your world unless the person is actually dying when he or she writes the will?
Good luck with that.

OP, get a lawyer to help you get Mary out of your house.

The previous post is the one that first used the phrase "dying wishes." There was something not quite right about that will all along. Larla's grandmother takes her sister to the lawyer and when they leave, Thelma is leaving her family home to her sister's granddaughter instead of to her own children. Ask a lawyer who does estate work how common it is to leave a family home to a great niece over one's own children and the answer would be that it is pretty darn uncommon. Mary and Roy should have consulted a lawyer as soon as they heard about this five year old will.

I wonder if Larla's grandmother is feeling a little guilty about how this all worked out and is trying to right the wrong by giving Mary more of her mother's money.

Ah, so you're the ONE poster who keeps saying that the house should be "Mary & Roy's" over and over again... you're like a dog with a bone (and don't try to deny, your writing style is a dead give away).

Roy wants NO part of this house and agrees that Mary needs to get the F out.

I'm pretty sure that ROY knows better than you do about what's going on with Mary & the best person to take inherit the house... Larla.

[Anonymous]

Look. My brother is "Mary." He sat on his ass for years and my divorced parents paid his way out of guilt. My brother is of sound mind and body but lazy and entitled. One day he got tired of my mom riding him about doing better so he took advantage of a situation and tried to move himself in with our dad and his wife. He was there for two months and then stepmom said he could stay but he needed to contribute to the household, he got pissed off, left and hasn't talked to them for four years with the exception of our mom's funeral when he yelled at our dad and his wife. He is not talking to me now because I gave him the option of getting his own mortgage and taking our mom's house where he lived all of his 40-some years as his own -- he didn't have to buy me out or split any equity or anything, just assume or pay off her small existing mortgage of about $50K -- and he wanted me to get a mortgage and let him stay there indefinitely. Which was a hell no. I work every day to provide for me and my family. I told him and my parents loudly and often that I would not be taking him on when they passed away and I meant that. I go to work every day and I not taking care of a grown man who can do but won't do. Funny, he has an apartment now where he pays all of the bills. Seems like once he know he HAD to provide for himself or be on the street, he found a way to do just that.

The house is yours, OP. Mary got some money, she got a car, she has her mom's things and she had a long time to get a profession and a life of her own. She didn't. Actions have consequences.

[Anonymous]

Two things... just remember the gift tax consequences you'll need to bear if you give any of the inheritance (over $11K) to Mary or Roy. Also, am I right in thinking that the godmother and grandmother both still consider this house to be their parents' house and legacy, and the sisters made a joint decision to pass it down to the descendant who would be most capable of making the most of it for future generations? Larla never mentioned that godmother paid grandmother her share of the inherited house when she moved out, so maybe they both thought it was fair that, since godmother enjoyed the house during her life, it was grandmother's turn to enjoy it (via Larla). Am I right, OP?

[Anonymous]

yeah, I'm surprised OP didn't expand more on that being the house hwe own grandmaother grew up in. Maybe the godmother wanted Larla to take care of her sister (larva's grandmother) with the house. Hey - OP any more on that?

[Anonymous]

Was Mary living at home when the will was drafted? Or was Mary on one of her independent living binges?

[Anonymous]

If I remember correctly, it sounded like the grandmother had agreed or was considering having Mary move in with her when she left the house. With that in mind, her suggestion that OP pay Mary a monthly allowance makes a bit of selfish sense ($1200 is how much my ex pays in child support, FYI, so I feel like this is more than just personal expenses, its maintenance).

OP, I think you need to stop taking advice from family members on this situation. Listen to your lawyer. Do what that person recommends. The lawyer is the only person who doesn't have an interest in Mary remaining enmeshed somehow.

For what it's worth, I work in mental health care, and I agree that Mary sounds like she has some issues. However, those issues are not OP's responsibility to manage or pay for. Mary is able to work and if her issue is that she wants to continue to live beyond her actual means, that's not the OP's problem. Maybe that sounds cold, but when I think of my clients and how hard many of them work to be self sufficient and NOT dependent upon family, hearing about a middle aged woman who simply doesn't want to be an adult, whether she has a legitimate mental illness or not, makes me angry. Let Mary get a comprehenpsych evaluation and get her "stipend" from social security if she's actually disabled.