Inheritance debacle. WWYD?

[Anonymous]

Okay, so today things changed. Part of me is thinking that I should just give up and let her have it. She said that she will leave, but she wants to request that I give her a monthly stipend like my godmother used to give her. $1200/month for her personal expenses. I want to tell her no, but my gran is thinking that if this gets rid of her, I should agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay, so today things changed. Part of me is thinking that I should just give up and let her have it. She said that she will leave, but she wants to request that I give her a monthly stipend like my godmother used to give her. $1200/month for her personal expenses. I want to tell her no, but my gran is thinking that if this gets rid of her, I should agree.

Absolutely do not agree to this!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay, so today things changed. Part of me is thinking that I should just give up and let her have it. She said that she will leave, but she wants to request that I give her a monthly stipend like my godmother used to give her. $1200/month for her personal expenses. I want to tell her no, but my gran is thinking that if this gets rid of her, I should agree.

Are you kidding me?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Okay, so today things changed. Part of me is thinking that I should just give up and let her have it. She said that she will leave, but she wants to request that I give her a monthly stipend like my godmother used to give her. $1200/month for her personal expenses. I want to tell her no, but my gran is thinking that if this gets rid of her, I should agree.

Absolutely do not agree to this!!

Do not do not do not do this. She may leave the house but will be even more enmeshed in your life! And it's completely ridiculous! My god, her feelings of entitlement have no limit. Unfortunately Larla you are going to have to break the patterns of the previous generation. Stay strong. You have no debt to pay her.

[Anonymous]

So you are going to pay $14,400 a year for the rest of her life?

Say she lives 30 more years till she is 80 -- that's $432,000.

Just give her the house and be done with it now.

[Anonymous]

Owner of the house doesn't make you her new mother.

[Anonymous]

This story is bizarre -- no way is it real.

[Anonymous]

But it was a good mini novel to read!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So you are going to pay $14,400 a year for the rest of her life?

Say she lives 30 more years till she is 80 -- that's $432,000.

Just give her the house and be done with it now.

Just give her the house??
Are you smoking crack??

[Anonymous]

Larla, she got a nice inheritance... you son't have to pay her ANYTHING.

You need to get someone involved on your behalf who has absolutely no emotional ties to Larla, then they can be the heavy hand that you need to get her gone (and NO, not with s promise of $1200 a month! Is there no end to that woman's entitlement??).

Think about this Larla, let's say you give her the house... HOW is she going to pay expensive property taxes on it every year? How is she going to pay for the upkeep??

Believe t or not, leaving her that house would be THE worst thing you could do for Mary - the house would fall into disrepair & she could end up losing the property or going to jail for unpaid property taxes.

[Anonymous]

Do not do this! The house is yours. You don't owe her a monthly stipend to keep the house.

[Anonymous]

Sell the house and split the proceeds with Mary and her brother. You take half and they can split the other half.

A young woman your age does not want to be saddled with a house and all that entails: maintenance, taxes, more maintenance- because stuff is always going wrong with houses. If you sell the house, you can use the money for your education and a nice apartment or condo.

It is so odd that Thelma left her family home to a great niece rather than her own children. Maybe she had some mental health difficulties herself. This is your chance to right that wrong so that the whole extended family can move forward. If you give Thelma's children part of the money now, you can know as you grow older that you did the right thing and can feel good about your actions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sell the house and split the proceeds with Mary and her brother. You take half and they can split the other half.

A young woman your age does not want to be saddled with a house and all that entails: maintenance, taxes, more maintenance- because stuff is always going wrong with houses. If you sell the house, you can use the money for your education and a nice apartment or condo.

It is so odd that Thelma left her family home to a great niece rather than her own children. Maybe she had some mental health difficulties herself. This is your chance to right that wrong so that the whole extended family can move forward. If you give Thelma's children part of the money now, you can know as you grow older that you did the right thing and can feel good about your actions.

Again with the taking care of Mary & Roy?

No just NO.

Mary & Roy were both included in the inheretence & Roy has not asked for a single dime... in fact, he backs LARLA not to give anything to Mary!

These were Thelma's dying wishes & Mary is NOT entitled to any more than Thelma left to her.

What is with you people that keep lumping Mary & Roy together & acting like they need eternal care?

NEWSFLASH: THEY ARE ADULTS!

Why does mental illness have to be involved if a mother doesn't want to enable her spoiled, lazy & entitled daughter anymore??

Mary is NOT a depressed invalid, she's an over entitled, over educated waitress... sheesh!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sell the house and split the proceeds with Mary and her brother. You take half and they can split the other half.

A young woman your age does not want to be saddled with a house and all that entails: maintenance, taxes, more maintenance- because stuff is always going wrong with houses. If you sell the house, you can use the money for your education and a nice apartment or condo.

It is so odd that Thelma left her family home to a great niece rather than her own children. Maybe she had some mental health difficulties herself. This is your chance to right that wrong so that the whole extended family can move forward. If you give Thelma's children part of the money now, you can know as you grow older that you did the right thing and can feel good about your actions.

Again with the taking care of Mary & Roy?

No just NO.

Mary & Roy were both included in the inheretence & Roy has not asked for a single dime... in fact, he backs LARLA not to give anything to Mary!

These were Thelma's dying wishes & Mary is NOT entitled to any more than Thelma left to her.

What is with you people that keep lumping Mary & Roy together & acting like they need eternal care?

NEWSFLASH: THEY ARE ADULTS!

Why does mental illness have to be involved if a mother doesn't want to enable her spoiled, lazy & entitled daughter anymore??

Mary is NOT a depressed invalid, she's an over entitled, over educated waitress... sheesh!

Standing Ovation - Bravo!

I concur with what this poster wrote x1000.
The house is yours Lala, don't let her (or your grandmother) let he pull at your heartstrings & manipulate you like she did to her own mom. It sounds like manipulation is Mary's game & she's used to always winning.

Don't let her win.

[Anonymous]

Larla, I've posted this before -- you need to get your own legal advice, especially now. Be careful not to get yourself into trouble unwittingly.

If the house is now in your name, you will owe taxes on any gifts over $14K that you give to Mary and/or Roy, whether you give them the house, part of the house or money. You should also check with a lawyer whether the request that Mary made could be considered extortion, which is illegal.