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[quote=Anonymous]If I remember correctly, it sounded like the grandmother had agreed or was considering having Mary move in with her when she left the house. With that in mind, her suggestion that OP pay Mary a monthly allowance makes a bit of selfish sense ($1200 is how much my ex pays in child support, FYI, so I feel like this is more than just personal expenses, its maintenance).

OP, I think you need to stop taking advice from family members on this situation. Listen to your lawyer. Do what that person recommends. The lawyer is the only person who doesn't have an interest in Mary remaining enmeshed somehow.

For what it's worth, I work in mental health care, and I agree that Mary sounds like she has some issues. However, those issues are not OP's responsibility to manage or pay for. Mary is able to work and if her issue is that she wants to continue to live beyond her actual means, that's not the OP's problem. Maybe that sounds cold, but when I think of my clients and how hard many of them work to be self sufficient and NOT dependent upon family, hearing about a middle aged woman who simply doesn't want to be an adult, whether she has a legitimate mental illness or not, makes me angry. Let Mary get a comprehenpsych evaluation and get her "stipend" from social security if she's actually disabled. [/quote]

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