AITA: Getting crap for not attending a Friday wedding because we have no childcare

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MIL/FIL go to wedding and reception. Leave after dinner, stay with the sleeping kids, BIL goes to reception and gets drunk, doesn't bring gift.

FIL takes kids to the local playground in the morning and half watches them/scrolls Facebook while BIL sleeps off hangover.

Duh. They are intelligent enough people that they know this is an option but this isn't what they want. They aren't interested in these solutions. You sound like a know-it-all. All they want is for op to go out of her way to make this easy for them to do whatever they want with no regard for her.


Op has no responsibility here and shouldn't take any more phone calls from sil.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here with an update now that we're a few weeks away from the wedding.

Dh and I declined the wedding invite. FIL, MIL, and BIL accepted. The 3 of them (and the kids) booked an airbnb.

SIL texted me this morning asking if I know any babysitters in that area- no, who knows babysitters 2 hours away from home in the middle of nowhere? She said she's annoyed because BIL is taking the kids with no plans for childcare during the wedding.

It definitely felt like she wanted me to either offer to take off work and drive there to watch her kids or offer to watch her kids at my house, but again we declined the wedding precisely because it's a Friday afternoon, DH and I have work, our oldest has school, and we would have no childcare available.

She asked you a question and you answered it. Stop trying to make this into a thing. She's not expecting you to drop everything and watch her kids 2 hours away. That's you desperately reading into this to keep this whole thing going.

WTH do you know? Who calls their sil to ask about babysitters in an area where she doesn't live? We all know this ruse but you keep pretending.

What is the big deal? Maybe she thought she knew someone. A quick "Nope! Don't know anyone" and get on with your life. But trying to dig deep into what SIL possibly, might have, maybe meant and how that makes you a victim is beyond pathetic. Grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here with an update now that we're a few weeks away from the wedding.

Dh and I declined the wedding invite. FIL, MIL, and BIL accepted. The 3 of them (and the kids) booked an airbnb.

SIL texted me this morning asking if I know any babysitters in that area- no, who knows babysitters 2 hours away from home in the middle of nowhere? She said she's annoyed because BIL is taking the kids with no plans for childcare during the wedding.

It definitely felt like she wanted me to either offer to take off work and drive there to watch her kids or offer to watch her kids at my house, but again we declined the wedding precisely because it's a Friday afternoon, DH and I have work, our oldest has school, and we would have no childcare available.

She asked you a question and you answered it. Stop trying to make this into a thing. She's not expecting you to drop everything and watch her kids 2 hours away. That's you desperately reading into this to keep this whole thing going.

WTH do you know? Who calls their sil to ask about babysitters in an area where she doesn't live? We all know this ruse but you keep pretending.

What is the big deal? Maybe she thought she knew someone. A quick "Nope! Don't know anyone" and get on with your life. But trying to dig deep into what SIL possibly, might have, maybe meant and how that makes you a victim is beyond pathetic. Grow up.

No one is being a victim. What an incorrect read of the situation. Sil and her dh are jerks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here with an update now that we're a few weeks away from the wedding.

Dh and I declined the wedding invite. FIL, MIL, and BIL accepted. The 3 of them (and the kids) booked an airbnb.

SIL texted me this morning asking if I know any babysitters in that area- no, who knows babysitters 2 hours away from home in the middle of nowhere? She said she's annoyed because BIL is taking the kids with no plans for childcare during the wedding.

It definitely felt like she wanted me to either offer to take off work and drive there to watch her kids or offer to watch her kids at my house, but again we declined the wedding precisely because it's a Friday afternoon, DH and I have work, our oldest has school, and we would have no childcare available.

She asked you a question and you answered it. Stop trying to make this into a thing. She's not expecting you to drop everything and watch her kids 2 hours away. That's you desperately reading into this to keep this whole thing going.

WTH do you know? Who calls their sil to ask about babysitters in an area where she doesn't live? We all know this ruse but you keep pretending.

What is the big deal? Maybe she thought she knew someone. A quick "Nope! Don't know anyone" and get on with your life. But trying to dig deep into what SIL possibly, might have, maybe meant and how that makes you a victim is beyond pathetic. Grow up.

No one is being a victim. What an incorrect read of the situation. Sil and her dh are jerks.

And you know that how? It takes a lot more energy to try to guess at what their intent is and then decide to let it bother you. Ignore. Move on. Not your problem. You don't even know these people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here with an update now that we're a few weeks away from the wedding.

Dh and I declined the wedding invite. FIL, MIL, and BIL accepted. The 3 of them (and the kids) booked an airbnb.

SIL texted me this morning asking if I know any babysitters in that area- no, who knows babysitters 2 hours away from home in the middle of nowhere? She said she's annoyed because BIL is taking the kids with no plans for childcare during the wedding.

It definitely felt like she wanted me to either offer to take off work and drive there to watch her kids or offer to watch her kids at my house, but again we declined the wedding precisely because it's a Friday afternoon, DH and I have work, our oldest has school, and we would have no childcare available.

She asked you a question and you answered it. Stop trying to make this into a thing. She's not expecting you to drop everything and watch her kids 2 hours away. That's you desperately reading into this to keep this whole thing going.

WTH do you know? Who calls their sil to ask about babysitters in an area where she doesn't live? We all know this ruse but you keep pretending.

What is the big deal? Maybe she thought she knew someone. A quick "Nope! Don't know anyone" and get on with your life. But trying to dig deep into what SIL possibly, might have, maybe meant and how that makes you a victim is beyond pathetic. Grow up.

No one is being a victim. What an incorrect read of the situation. Sil and her dh are jerks.

And you know that how? It takes a lot more energy to try to guess at what their intent is and then decide to let it bother you. Ignore. Move on. Not your problem. You don't even know these people.

How do you know the SIL was just asking? You don't have to know these people to recognize attempts at manipulation. Maybe you haven't seen this but everyone else has. It's not a good look.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here with an update now that we're a few weeks away from the wedding.

Dh and I declined the wedding invite. FIL, MIL, and BIL accepted. The 3 of them (and the kids) booked an airbnb.

SIL texted me this morning asking if I know any babysitters in that area- no, who knows babysitters 2 hours away from home in the middle of nowhere? She said she's annoyed because BIL is taking the kids with no plans for childcare during the wedding.

It definitely felt like she wanted me to either offer to take off work and drive there to watch her kids or offer to watch her kids at my house, but again we declined the wedding precisely because it's a Friday afternoon, DH and I have work, our oldest has school, and we would have no childcare available.

She asked you a question and you answered it. Stop trying to make this into a thing. She's not expecting you to drop everything and watch her kids 2 hours away. That's you desperately reading into this to keep this whole thing going.

WTH do you know? Who calls their sil to ask about babysitters in an area where she doesn't live? We all know this ruse but you keep pretending.

What is the big deal? Maybe she thought she knew someone. A quick "Nope! Don't know anyone" and get on with your life. But trying to dig deep into what SIL possibly, might have, maybe meant and how that makes you a victim is beyond pathetic. Grow up.

No one is being a victim. What an incorrect read of the situation. Sil and her dh are jerks.

And you know that how? It takes a lot more energy to try to guess at what their intent is and then decide to let it bother you. Ignore. Move on. Not your problem. You don't even know these people.

How do you know the SIL was just asking? You don't have to know these people to recognize attempts at manipulation. Maybe you haven't seen this but everyone else has. It's not a good look.

Again, answering the question and ignoring what happens next works just fine here. Its a choice to decide to get worked up over it. Make better choices.

[Anonymous]

Hey, OP, thanks for the update and good for you and DH for deciding to decline.

Enjoy the weekend at home, free of family drama.