Where are all the single men?

[Anonymous]

I'm 41, female, and married. I have several single female friends between the ages of 35-45. All are accomplished, educated, fun, interesting, normal looking, etc yet can't seem to find men to date, let alone marry. They're all Jewish, too, but I don't think this is exclusively a Jewish problem. They all want to find men to marry and have children with (some have asked if I or my DH knew of anyone) although some are acknowledging that the biological children ship might have sailed. The other day I was chatting with a dad from my daughter's preschool who mentioned his 42yo single, Jewish, lawyer sister and asked if I knew of any men for her. I don't. DH doesn't. This guy doesn't. Where are all the single men? I'm sure they're online but why don't we know any in real life? Any theories?

[Anonymous]

A friend went out west on a solo girl vacation and came back engaged. Wyoming, North Dakota, Montana, and Alaska are full of single, lonely men.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a hollywood romantic comedy - DC-based Jewish Lawyer meets North Dakota cowboy.

Ah - but a bird and a fish may fall in love but where will they build a nest?

[Anonymous]

There aren't many of them. My single friends and I have tried all of the dating websites and the few men who are okay with a woman who is too old for kids just seem odd. I have a kid so I a stuck between being too old to have another kid and has one of her own. The only men who seem interested are men who already have their own kids. They don't seem to understand that I have mine 24/7.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 41, female, and married. I have several single female friends between the ages of 35-45. All are accomplished, educated, fun, interesting, normal looking, etc yet can't seem to find men to date, let alone marry. They're all Jewish, too, but I don't think this is exclusively a Jewish problem. They all want to find men to marry and have children with (some have asked if I or my DH knew of anyone) although some are acknowledging that the biological children ship might have sailed. The other day I was chatting with a dad from my daughter's preschool who mentioned his 42yo single, Jewish, lawyer sister and asked if I knew of any men for her. I don't. DH doesn't. This guy doesn't. Where are all the single men? I'm sure they're online but why don't we know any in real life? Any theories?

shiksas run off with all the good jewish men?

I would suggest to go out west.

It is well known that there more single men and than women when you go to the west coast or mountain west.

Dating in seattle, sf, or denver is brutal for guys - numbers wise it works out a lot better for women.

Are your friends open to inter-racial - east/south asian guys or black guys or latino guys?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There aren't many of them. My single friends and I have tried all of the dating websites and the few men who are okay with a woman who is too old for kids just seem odd. I have a kid so I a stuck between being too old to have another kid and has one of her own. The only men who seem interested are men who already have their own kids. They don't seem to understand that I have mine 24/7.

odd in what way? just curious

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There aren't many of them. My single friends and I have tried all of the dating websites and the few men who are okay with a woman who is too old for kids just seem odd. I have a kid so I a stuck between being too old to have another kid and has one of her own. The only men who seem interested are men who already have their own kids. They don't seem to understand that I have mine 24/7.

odd in what way? just curious

not in the right tax bracket odd

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There aren't many of them. My single friends and I have tried all of the dating websites and the few men who are okay with a woman who is too old for kids just seem odd. I have a kid so I a stuck between being too old to have another kid and has one of her own. The only men who seem interested are men who already have their own kids. They don't seem to understand that I have mine 24/7.

odd in what way? just curious

not in the right tax bracket odd

ah ok - why didn't you just say that then (i.e. just put in your profile, 'no poors')?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like a hollywood romantic comedy - DC-based Jewish Lawyer meets North Dakota cowboy.

Ah - but a bird and a fish may fall in love but where will they build a nest?

Quite a few of those guys are engineers working for energy companies. More nerd than cowboy.

[Anonymous]

Is it DC? My best friend has had an awful time meeting guys here. It seems like there are a lot of attractive, smart 30-40-something women in this city who would like to settle down.

[Anonymous]

It kind of sounds like they missed the boat, to be honest. It's really difficult for a woman to get married for the first time past the age of 35. I imagine these women probably have a laundry list of qualifications to match their own - potential partner has to be Jewish, high income, educated at certain colleges, good family, similar age (not too much older or younger), good looking/in shape, etc. There's just not a lot of men that fit into that mold, period, and the ones that do, have their choice of women. I agree they should move out west, the dating market is much better for women in cities like Seattle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it DC? My best friend has had an awful time meeting guys here. It seems like there are a lot of attractive, smart 30-40-something women in this city who would like to settle down.

I don't think meeting guys is the issue. competition is the issue

West coast cities have more single men than women.

in dc you have all of those 25-40 women who are attractive and intelligence chasing the same pool of guys so there is bound to be ones that get left standing when the music stops.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It kind of sounds like they missed the boat, to be honest. It's really difficult for a woman to get married for the first time past the age of 35. I imagine these women probably have a laundry list of qualifications to match their own - potential partner has to be Jewish, high income, educated at certain colleges, good family, similar age (not too much older or younger), good looking/in shape, etc. There's just not a lot of men that fit into that mold, period, and the ones that do, have their choice of women. I agree they should move out west, the dating market is much better for women in cities like Seattle.

this woman doesn't think so:

http://www.salon.com/2014/05/30/amazon_is_killing_my_sex_life_partner/

[Anonymous]

Have you seen the Ted Talk done by Amy Webb? It's hilarious and inspiring.

[Anonymous]

Look at the laundry list and make one item negotiable. A lot of non-religious raised-Christian guys are willing to convert or at least raise their kids Jewish. A notably older or younger guy shouldn't be a deal-breaker. Drop the snobbery over the family background.