Problem with fat lady

[Anonymous]

She moved into our house uninvited. I have seen her in the mirror multiple times, and I think she screwed around with my scale because there's no way I weigh that much. She needs to GO!

My problem is that I have never been athletic or a regular exerciser, but I have been blessed with a great metabolism, which is also a curse. It always translated into eating whatever I wanted and not exercising, but somehow staying about a size 4. I had a baby at 30, gained a whopping 60 lbs, and fit back into my regular clothes within 6 weeks with no real effort. Had another baby at 40, gained 60 lbs again, have lost only 20 of it, and the kid is now in preschool and I'm just FAT! I feel like I'm the size of a house and I have no idea how to get back to my old self. I still think of myself as a thin person but I know I'm not. I'm aghast every time I look in the mirror. I guess I feel like a thin person trapped in a fat suit because I can barely squeeze into a size 10 or 12 now, and I have a closet full of size 4s and 6s sitting there mocking me every day when I get dressed (putting on one of the few larger-sized things I can fit into.)

I am not a horrible eater. I love vegetables, salads, and healthy foods, but I also do badly with portion control and I have a real sweet tooth and trouble with snacking at night after dinner. And I am not in the habit of getting regular exercise so if I take on anything too ambitious, I know I will give up pretty quickly. But I've got to do something because I am miserable with my current size and lack of energy.

I know good health is not about a clothing size, but having been roughly the same size my entire adult life, I know that my current size is HUGE for me and for my frame/body type. I don't think a 40-something woman needs to be a size 4 to look good, and that's not even my goal (a healthy size 8 would be fine). Please don't think that I'm calling you fat if you're a size 12 - or bigger - but this is not a healthy size for ME. I must get rid of the muffin top and these other rolls.

So, any tips for getting myself into a better routine, starting an exercise program that I actually have a prayer of sticking to, improving my diet, or any other encouragement? Help!!!

[Anonymous]

You're going about this all wrong, OP. First, lose the mirrors (they steal your soul) and the scale, which is obviously broken. You probably also need a new dryer, since yours is clearly shrinking your clothes.

Have a cookie and relax. Life at size 12 is much more fun.

[Anonymous]

Start using your measuring cup. It is your friend. Look up how much a portion of salad is. Eat your meals on salad plates instead of dinner plates.

Buy high quality chocolate and after dinner, eat a piece. For me, I buy four one-inch squares for DH and I to share for the week. We break one square into four pieces and eat one piece each night.

Make a plan with someone to go for a walk each evening after dinner.

[Anonymous]

lol

After I had my second child, I took that first shower in my hospital bathroom. There was a full length mirror opposite the shower door and as I was getting out of the shower, I remember being completely startld that there was a "naked fat lady" in my bathroom!

Anyway, it is gorgeous outside, put on your sneakers, drink a big glass of water and go outside for a walk. Think about the healthy dinner (including a fruit salad dessert) that you will make for your entire family. Try to get out there and take walks. Just follow your feet and wander. At the most, set a time that you will walk for (30 mins, 60 mins, whatever). Does wonders for body and mind.

btw, donate those size 6 clothes. They are out of style anyway.

[Anonymous]

I could have written this. I used to eat mayonnaise with a spoon if I felt like it and not gain an ounce. I can't get that former ability out of my head. Now I'm just plain fat.

[Anonymous]

I totally empathize - I saw photos of myself on vacation last summer and felt the same way. I used to have an amazing metabolism too and despite the "shrinking" clothes, didn't really see myself as fat. Realistically I had 30 lbs to lose, and I've lost somewhere between 10-15 since September 1. Maybe that pace is too slow for you, but here's what worked for me:

1. Working out 3-4x/week. I started with couch to 5k, ran my first 5k ever in Nov, ran 10-15 miles per week all winter ( except Dec - it was a rough month and I didn't work out at all) and now I'm training for a 10k. I realized having a distance goal to achieve was more motivating to me than a target weight. I may still be overweight, but I'm an overweight person who can run five miles! And now I have the energy to keep up with my toddler! And because I'm following a training program all of my workouts for the next two months are predetermined - I don't have to think about what needs to be done, I just need to figure out how to fit it into my schedule.

2. I banished my scale. I check it once every month or so but I'm trying not to worry about the numbers at all. I am starting to fit into some of my old clothing and that's more rewarding than any number.

3. I did my fitness pal for a month. I hated it but I learned a lot from logging my food, particularly how much I was underestimating my calorie and sugar intake. It helped me reset my idea of "portion" and eliminate a lot of unnecessary sugar from my diet.

4. I don't "diet" any more. I'm working on only making food and fitness choices that I can sustain for a lifetime.

I agree with the PP who said just get out there today, take a walk and make a plan. It's gorgeous out there! The hardest part is getting started. Go easy on yourself (a few indulgences here and there aren't the end of the world) and recognize that the change may not happen overnight, but it will happen if you stick to it. You can do it!

[Anonymous]

I need a fat lady -ectomy. She is in my house also.

[Anonymous]

thank you for all the supportive comments!

Could we go back to the "lift weights twice a week" part? What exactly would this look like? Let's pretend that the only "weight-lifting" I have ever done is lugging around a chunky toddler and go from there. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

+1 on the sleep. I was having memory issues and the doctor said after years of no sleep your body is a wreck. Tell your husband, 2 weeks, 8 hours every night, no alcohol or caffeine ... See how you feel.

Try to walk... Walk... Walk to start.

Stop calling yourself names... Vow not to say negative self talk...

DO NOT call yourself fat... STOP THAT!

You can say... You can do this... You are beautiful no matter what... You are doing this for your health not your looks... You know you are amazing you just need to lose weight.... Get healthy and get stronger.

[Anonymous]

You clearly have a good sense of humor. Kudos about that.

[Anonymous]

Aunt Bee has moved into my house!

Good luck, OP.

[Anonymous]

I'm also in the process of moving the fat lady out of the house. She showed up in some otherwise cute family photos taken last fall and it freaked me out. What works for me is:

1) regular exercise, alternating serious sweat with light sweat/muscle work and also trying to work in yoga classes for flexibility

2) nutrition -- balanced meals and nutritious snacks. Smaller portions. If I get into one of those eat everything in sight moods, taking a break and stepping away from the table/kitchen

3) sleep

4) getting off a certain medication (take that, dr who swore that it wouldn't make me fat!!!!)

It's coming off slowly, but that's ok, and I've adjusted end goal dates along the way to be realistic and not lose my way. Energy level and flexibility are way higher.

Good luck to you

[Anonymous]

Do you belong to a gym? I'd probably book a few sessions with a trainer, who can teach you how to use all the stuff at the gym, and maybe help you create some routines. They often offer specials, so you can probably get a deal. Then it's just a matter of sticking to a routine. If you can set aside an hour 4 times a week, lift weights for half an hour every other day, then hit a cardio machine hard for the other 30. Or spend off days from the weights doing a longer cardio routine.

I'm not heavy, but I can relate to being able to eat whatever you want and then having kids and getting older and having it not be that easy anymore. My metabolism slowed at 30, 35 and 40, and especially after I had a kid at 36, I have to work so much harder. And I'm still 10 lbs heavier than I was before the kiddo.

good luck!

[Anonymous]

Hi, OP! I can commiserate 100%. I had a fat girl show up in my college apartment and I struggled to get rid of her until I got married. After that, she tried to take over two more times (after my kids were born) but I kicked her to the curb.

Here's what works for me: First, track everything. If you eat it, write it down. MyFitnessPal is great because it's free and has most "normal" food in its database. If you lie on your tracker, you're only lying to yourself, so be honest and report on everything from your healthy salads (how much dressing did you REALLY use?) to your late-night snacking (HOW many servings was that??).

Ditto for exercise. Find something you enjoy, whether it's a Zumba class, a walk after dinner, a workout DVD. Record all time spent exercising in your tracker also.

I second what others have said about sleep. Also, try to avoid a lot of excess salt and processed foods, which tend to cause you to retain water.

Remember that you can't do everything at once. If you get discouraged by not seeing results right away, you're more likely to fall off the wagon. Yes, your lifestyle changes will cause you to lose weight and look better, but the more important longer-term goal is to be healthy. Good luck! You can do this

[Anonymous]

I had the same problem OP. After my second child I found myself a size 12 and the scale would not move. It took a major diet and exercise overhaul and it was hard!!!

I'm now a very fit 6 and extremely happy.

To the other poster, being a size 12 is NOT FUN. Especially when you are in your mid 30s!! I'll save the size 12 clothes for after menopause, thank you!