Freeloading swim team parents suck

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:the people joining this thread to hate on summer swim confuse me. I mean summer swim is a short intense season. I love it. Its a whole family thing- boys and girls, ages 5-18 swimming. Parents volunteering. Pep rallies friday night. Snack bar to both provide meals on Monday night meets and also candy etc. It's 5 weeks of the summer. I would much rather have my whole family involved in something for 5 weeks than be shlepping kids all over VA all year to play in travel soccer tournaments. To each his own.
The criticisms are over the top- I mean if you are timing you can't watch your kid? Timing is like the easiest way to watch your kids- 6 lanes across- you need to start your watch and stop it- you don't need to watch the swimmer in your lane the whole time. You are only maybe going to miss your kids finish if they are coming in right together and are not next to each other-- but that is pretty rare. I'll give you that stroke and turn sometimes misses watching their own kid, but as a S&T I still get a pretty good look at my kids. Honestly, I am much more likely to miss my child when I am not working and chatting. Concessions, table, etc- all these you can step away to watch your kid.
Sure you could do a swim team without a concession stand- with a casual approach to timing (if you go there- why time at all- just watch the place order), with no DQ's, no pep rallies etc.
Kids can also just gather in the park and play soccer with no refs/ no coaches etc.

Kids can also gather on the pool deck to play and eat without I involving the swim team.
Remove the ribbons nonsense and transition the social events to include ALL members of the pool thereby increasing your volunteer pool for actual swim meet functions as well as for POOL social functions.

[Anonymous]

My favorite volunteers are the A-meet-parent-whose-kids-never-swim-B-meets who sign up first to take timer slots away from B meet parents who then have to take PTO to run the midweek pancake breakfast instead. And then these A meet parents humble-martyr themselves when meeting the other timers "Oh my kid actually isn't even swimming because she is doing the A meet. So, which one of the B meet losers is your kid?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My favorite volunteers are the A-meet-parent-whose-kids-never-swim-B-meets who sign up first to take timer slots away from B meet parents who then have to take PTO to run the midweek pancake breakfast instead. And then these A meet parents humble-martyr themselves when meeting the other timers "Oh my kid actually isn't even swimming because she is doing the A meet. So, which one of the B meet losers is your kid?"

Funny, you calling others “humble martyrs,” you sacrificing B team pancake hero, you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:the people joining this thread to hate on summer swim confuse me. I mean summer swim is a short intense season. I love it. Its a whole family thing- boys and girls, ages 5-18 swimming. Parents volunteering. Pep rallies friday night. Snack bar to both provide meals on Monday night meets and also candy etc. It's 5 weeks of the summer. I would much rather have my whole family involved in something for 5 weeks than be shlepping kids all over VA all year to play in travel soccer tournaments. To each his own.
The criticisms are over the top- I mean if you are timing you can't watch your kid? Timing is like the easiest way to watch your kids- 6 lanes across- you need to start your watch and stop it- you don't need to watch the swimmer in your lane the whole time. You are only maybe going to miss your kids finish if they are coming in right together and are not next to each other-- but that is pretty rare. I'll give you that stroke and turn sometimes misses watching their own kid, but as a S&T I still get a pretty good look at my kids. Honestly, I am much more likely to miss my child when I am not working and chatting. Concessions, table, etc- all these you can step away to watch your kid.
Sure you could do a swim team without a concession stand- with a casual approach to timing (if you go there- why time at all- just watch the place order), with no DQ's, no pep rallies etc.
Kids can also just gather in the park and play soccer with no refs/ no coaches etc.

Kids can also gather on the pool deck to play and eat without I involving the swim team.
Remove the ribbons nonsense and transition the social events to include ALL members of the pool thereby increasing your volunteer pool for actual swim meet functions as well as for POOL social functions.

The point of team is part social. Everyone at our pool can do team activities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't have time to read through 19 pages of this nonsense but I judge the volunteer nazis like OP who deliberately try to make people feel bad. Same person who gets into a tizzy when the volunteers' shirt isn't 100% white cotton or if someone makes a mistake when filling out those unnecessary ribbons. SMD, OP.

Riddle me this, how is a single parent with one kid swimming and two others who aren't because they aren't old enough or don't want to but aren't old enough to be at home by themselves supposed to volunteer for 5 effing swim meets, plus all of the other stupid events such as needing volunteers for tie-dying shirts, or for pancake breakfasts or for the rootbeer floats. It's so much bullshine.

Perhaps at registration allow folks to opt out from volunteering for an additionl $50-$100. Then you could hire the additional help needed to do the meets.

For B meets, why not just one or two timers? It's not important at all and if little Johnny is going to swim in 8 meets he doesn't need 24 different time samples for each stroke to figure out if he's good enough for all stars or whatever else.

Summer swim team is not for the person is this situation then.
The social culture -root beer floats and pancake breakfasts and the other stuff you deem billshine - is what makes it fun for the kids. Versus year round swimming which is a grind.

As someone who does my best to volunteer whenever I can, while working around a full-time job, this attitude makes me sad. As a timer, does it really make my job harder if there's an extra kid in Lane 6 vs that lane being empty, or maybe having one extra heat of freestylers? No? Then why should the kid be barred from joining the team if his parents have a hard time with the volunteer schedule, or don't want to bring him to the extras?

I'm glad our team isn't that clique-y. We welcome all swimmers, regardless of the family situation. Of course we request and encourage volunteering; we have the same needs as every other team. But we would never push a family out or shun a kid if the parents are in a tough spot schedule-wise. I mean, some of the 'freeloader' parents on swim team are really active in PTA or Scouts or other time-consuming activities throughout the year, in which my kids benefit from their volunteer time. Or not ... but the kid should still have an opportunity to participate regardless. I volunteer because I want to make the activity better for all kids, not just the ones from families I deem worthy of it.

The issue becomes it heavily falls on other parents, especially with smaller teams. We only have one ref, so every home meet, my spouse has to ref. He cannot get sick or miss it for any reason and has to rearrange his work schedule around it as no one else will step up. When he's not ref, he's stroke and turn. He doesn't get one meet off, which isn't really fair. And, I'm doing a lot of behind the scenes stuff.

That’s a little much. He’s allowed to get sick. Your husband could set some boundaries and give his availability and stick to it. People are never going to volunteer because they know Frank always does it or that your family will step in. Just say no. Let the cards fall where they may.

He has very good boundaries but the swim meet will not happen without a ref. Its a small team. We will do our part but it sucks when others don't. Its only two months. No one else IS stepping in. You must not get swim as you have to get certified for specific positions.

So if a new family wants to join swim but isn't sure they can ref, the answer is for them to not join at all?

Or encourage them to join and do what they can, even if it's little to nothing the first year, in hopes that next year they'll know what is coming and can start gradually increasing their contribution?

There are tons of positions to volunteer for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't have time to read through 19 pages of this nonsense but I judge the volunteer nazis like OP who deliberately try to make people feel bad. Same person who gets into a tizzy when the volunteers' shirt isn't 100% white cotton or if someone makes a mistake when filling out those unnecessary ribbons. SMD, OP.

Riddle me this, how is a single parent with one kid swimming and two others who aren't because they aren't old enough or don't want to but aren't old enough to be at home by themselves supposed to volunteer for 5 effing swim meets, plus all of the other stupid events such as needing volunteers for tie-dying shirts, or for pancake breakfasts or for the rootbeer floats. It's so much bullshine.

Perhaps at registration allow folks to opt out from volunteering for an additionl $50-$100. Then you could hire the additional help needed to do the meets.

For B meets, why not just one or two timers? It's not important at all and if little Johnny is going to swim in 8 meets he doesn't need 24 different time samples for each stroke to figure out if he's good enough for all stars or whatever else.

Summer swim team is not for the person is this situation then.
The social culture -root beer floats and pancake breakfasts and the other stuff you deem billshine - is what makes it fun for the kids. Versus year round swimming which is a grind.

As someone who does my best to volunteer whenever I can, while working around a full-time job, this attitude makes me sad. As a timer, does it really make my job harder if there's an extra kid in Lane 6 vs that lane being empty, or maybe having one extra heat of freestylers? No? Then why should the kid be barred from joining the team if his parents have a hard time with the volunteer schedule, or don't want to bring him to the extras?

I'm glad our team isn't that clique-y. We welcome all swimmers, regardless of the family situation. Of course we request and encourage volunteering; we have the same needs as every other team. But we would never push a family out or shun a kid if the parents are in a tough spot schedule-wise. I mean, some of the 'freeloader' parents on swim team are really active in PTA or Scouts or other time-consuming activities throughout the year, in which my kids benefit from their volunteer time. Or not ... but the kid should still have an opportunity to participate regardless. I volunteer because I want to make the activity better for all kids, not just the ones from families I deem worthy of it.

The issue becomes it heavily falls on other parents, especially with smaller teams. We only have one ref, so every home meet, my spouse has to ref. He cannot get sick or miss it for any reason and has to rearrange his work schedule around it as no one else will step up. When he's not ref, he's stroke and turn. He doesn't get one meet off, which isn't really fair. And, I'm doing a lot of behind the scenes stuff.

Martyr of the year. Get a life. Or a new job.

Why don’t you step up?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My favorite volunteers are the A-meet-parent-whose-kids-never-swim-B-meets who sign up first to take timer slots away from B meet parents who then have to take PTO to run the midweek pancake breakfast instead. And then these A meet parents humble-martyr themselves when meeting the other timers "Oh my kid actually isn't even swimming because she is doing the A meet. So, which one of the B meet losers is your kid?"

Does this really happen?! Our team reps take great pains to assure people they don’t need to volunteer in a meet their kid isn’t swimming in, even letting you back out if you signed up for an A meet job but your kid didn’t make it that week. Granted we have a very large team so there should never be an issue with having enough volunteers, but I hate thinking people act that absurd (although deep down I know they do).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My favorite volunteers are the A-meet-parent-whose-kids-never-swim-B-meets who sign up first to take timer slots away from B meet parents who then have to take PTO to run the midweek pancake breakfast instead. And then these A meet parents humble-martyr themselves when meeting the other timers "Oh my kid actually isn't even swimming because she is doing the A meet. So, which one of the B meet losers is your kid?"

Does this really happen?! Our team reps take great pains to assure people they don’t need to volunteer in a meet their kid isn’t swimming in, even letting you back out if you signed up for an A meet job but your kid didn’t make it that week. Granted we have a very large team so there should never be an issue with having enough volunteers, but I hate thinking people act that absurd (although deep down I know they do).

I think you’re seeing the very different experiences in big and small teams in these posts

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't have time to read through 19 pages of this nonsense but I judge the volunteer nazis like OP who deliberately try to make people feel bad. Same person who gets into a tizzy when the volunteers' shirt isn't 100% white cotton or if someone makes a mistake when filling out those unnecessary ribbons. SMD, OP.

Riddle me this, how is a single parent with one kid swimming and two others who aren't because they aren't old enough or don't want to but aren't old enough to be at home by themselves supposed to volunteer for 5 effing swim meets, plus all of the other stupid events such as needing volunteers for tie-dying shirts, or for pancake breakfasts or for the rootbeer floats. It's so much bullshine.

Perhaps at registration allow folks to opt out from volunteering for an additionl $50-$100. Then you could hire the additional help needed to do the meets.

For B meets, why not just one or two timers? It's not important at all and if little Johnny is going to swim in 8 meets he doesn't need 24 different time samples for each stroke to figure out if he's good enough for all stars or whatever else.

Summer swim team is not for the person is this situation then.
The social culture -root beer floats and pancake breakfasts and the other stuff you deem billshine - is what makes it fun for the kids. Versus year round swimming which is a grind.

As someone who does my best to volunteer whenever I can, while working around a full-time job, this attitude makes me sad. As a timer, does it really make my job harder if there's an extra kid in Lane 6 vs that lane being empty, or maybe having one extra heat of freestylers? No? Then why should the kid be barred from joining the team if his parents have a hard time with the volunteer schedule, or don't want to bring him to the extras?

I'm glad our team isn't that clique-y. We welcome all swimmers, regardless of the family situation. Of course we request and encourage volunteering; we have the same needs as every other team. But we would never push a family out or shun a kid if the parents are in a tough spot schedule-wise. I mean, some of the 'freeloader' parents on swim team are really active in PTA or Scouts or other time-consuming activities throughout the year, in which my kids benefit from their volunteer time. Or not ... but the kid should still have an opportunity to participate regardless. I volunteer because I want to make the activity better for all kids, not just the ones from families I deem worthy of it.

The issue becomes it heavily falls on other parents, especially with smaller teams. We only have one ref, so every home meet, my spouse has to ref. He cannot get sick or miss it for any reason and has to rearrange his work schedule around it as no one else will step up. When he's not ref, he's stroke and turn. He doesn't get one meet off, which isn't really fair. And, I'm doing a lot of behind the scenes stuff.

That’s a little much. He’s allowed to get sick. Your husband could set some boundaries and give his availability and stick to it. People are never going to volunteer because they know Frank always does it or that your family will step in. Just say no. Let the cards fall where they may.

He has very good boundaries but the swim meet will not happen without a ref. Its a small team. We will do our part but it sucks when others don't. Its only two months. No one else IS stepping in. You must not get swim as you have to get certified for specific positions.

Cancel one meet and someone will step up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't have time to read through 19 pages of this nonsense but I judge the volunteer nazis like OP who deliberately try to make people feel bad. Same person who gets into a tizzy when the volunteers' shirt isn't 100% white cotton or if someone makes a mistake when filling out those unnecessary ribbons. SMD, OP.

Riddle me this, how is a single parent with one kid swimming and two others who aren't because they aren't old enough or don't want to but aren't old enough to be at home by themselves supposed to volunteer for 5 effing swim meets, plus all of the other stupid events such as needing volunteers for tie-dying shirts, or for pancake breakfasts or for the rootbeer floats. It's so much bullshine.

Perhaps at registration allow folks to opt out from volunteering for an additionl $50-$100. Then you could hire the additional help needed to do the meets.

For B meets, why not just one or two timers? It's not important at all and if little Johnny is going to swim in 8 meets he doesn't need 24 different time samples for each stroke to figure out if he's good enough for all stars or whatever else.

Summer swim team is not for the person is this situation then.
The social culture -root beer floats and pancake breakfasts and the other stuff you deem billshine - is what makes it fun for the kids. Versus year round swimming which is a grind.

As someone who does my best to volunteer whenever I can, while working around a full-time job, this attitude makes me sad. As a timer, does it really make my job harder if there's an extra kid in Lane 6 vs that lane being empty, or maybe having one extra heat of freestylers? No? Then why should the kid be barred from joining the team if his parents have a hard time with the volunteer schedule, or don't want to bring him to the extras?

I'm glad our team isn't that clique-y. We welcome all swimmers, regardless of the family situation. Of course we request and encourage volunteering; we have the same needs as every other team. But we would never push a family out or shun a kid if the parents are in a tough spot schedule-wise. I mean, some of the 'freeloader' parents on swim team are really active in PTA or Scouts or other time-consuming activities throughout the year, in which my kids benefit from their volunteer time. Or not ... but the kid should still have an opportunity to participate regardless. I volunteer because I want to make the activity better for all kids, not just the ones from families I deem worthy of it.

The issue becomes it heavily falls on other parents, especially with smaller teams. We only have one ref, so every home meet, my spouse has to ref. He cannot get sick or miss it for any reason and has to rearrange his work schedule around it as no one else will step up. When he's not ref, he's stroke and turn. He doesn't get one meet off, which isn't really fair. And, I'm doing a lot of behind the scenes stuff.

That’s a little much. He’s allowed to get sick. Your husband could set some boundaries and give his availability and stick to it. People are never going to volunteer because they know Frank always does it or that your family will step in. Just say no. Let the cards fall where they may.

He has very good boundaries but the swim meet will not happen without a ref. Its a small team. We will do our part but it sucks when others don't. Its only two months. No one else IS stepping in. You must not get swim as you have to get certified for specific positions.

I understand that he’s certified and others are not but you have an attitude that the team can’t survive without you. So do it because you love it or cut back and only do what you want. What happens when your kids age out? Do you think no one else will ever step up and become certified? Life goes on and people will when they need to if they want the team to continue. And if they don’t, this team wasn’t that important to them. It sounds like you like being the in charge and then like to complain that no one is helping.

[Anonymous]

No such thing as a selfless volunteer

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No such thing as a selfless volunteer

And?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No such thing as a selfless volunteer

This is bizarre and untrue. The sort of think takers tell themselves as they hide in the parking lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My favorite volunteers are the A-meet-parent-whose-kids-never-swim-B-meets who sign up first to take timer slots away from B meet parents who then have to take PTO to run the midweek pancake breakfast instead. And then these A meet parents humble-martyr themselves when meeting the other timers "Oh my kid actually isn't even swimming because she is doing the A meet. So, which one of the B meet losers is your kid?"

Does this really happen?! Our team reps take great pains to assure people they don’t need to volunteer in a meet their kid isn’t swimming in, even letting you back out if you signed up for an A meet job but your kid didn’t make it that week. Granted we have a very large team so there should never be an issue with having enough volunteers, but I hate thinking people act that absurd (although deep down I know they do).

DP but our team has sent emails out praising the parents who signed up for meets where their kids weren't swimming and thanking them for "stepping up." The thing is, these parents hopped on the sign-up before others had a chance. Nice to acknowledge their volunteering I guess, but kinda ridiculous because it so wasn't necessary. Made other parents who had swimmers at the meet feel guilty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My favorite volunteers are the A-meet-parent-whose-kids-never-swim-B-meets who sign up first to take timer slots away from B meet parents who then have to take PTO to run the midweek pancake breakfast instead. And then these A meet parents humble-martyr themselves when meeting the other timers "Oh my kid actually isn't even swimming because she is doing the A meet. So, which one of the B meet losers is your kid?"

Does this really happen?! Our team reps take great pains to assure people they don’t need to volunteer in a meet their kid isn’t swimming in, even letting you back out if you signed up for an A meet job but your kid didn’t make it that week. Granted we have a very large team so there should never be an issue with having enough volunteers, but I hate thinking people act that absurd (although deep down I know they do).

DP but our team has sent emails out praising the parents who signed up for meets where their kids weren't swimming and thanking them for "stepping up." The thing is, these parents hopped on the sign-up before others had a chance. Nice to acknowledge their volunteering I guess, but kinda ridiculous because it so wasn't necessary. Made other parents who had swimmers at the meet feel guilty.

+1 And exactly why we have this stupid thread!