Politically Incorrect Private School Thread What Do You Really Think?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like a lot of people don't say what they really think because they are afraid of coming across as snobby or elitest.

I'll start first. I think that my private offers a higher quality education than our highly ranked public.

used to think so, too - until we made the switch and I actually found out my daughter was reading 3 grade levels ahead . . .

Public school teachers are trained. That's not necessarily the case for private school teachers.

I think that depends a lot on the public and the private. We switched to private from the AAP program in Fairfax County and our private is at the same level for math (with differentiation that allows dd to go much further) and light years ahead in reading, writing, and science.

[Anonymous]

After 10 years in a smaller progressive private, DC is moving on to one of the Big 3 in September. The entire application process for high school was a tremendous time sink and pretty silly. We were astonished by the school that not only asked where we went to college, but where the grandparents graduated, and open houses with hundreds of families when only 20 or 30 seats were available.

Unless your family is conscientious about making social and economic class visible, it is easy for private school children to take their enormous privilege for granted. PP is right that there has been almost no exposure to true middle class or working class families. While I never saw a hint of FA families and students being treated differently, sleepovers and parties were never hosted at their homes. Families on the edge of affordability at privates tend to quietly slip away and disappear so there's no real sense of how hard it is to afford $25-35k/year tuition. And, upper middle-class families can easily think they are less privileged than they really are.

Diversity throughout the private school system is an ongoing challenge. There tend to be fewer teachers and administrators of color than students of color. Though students are about as diverse as the elite colleges, year-over-year retention among individual African-American and Latino families is poor. At the same time, private school can also teach white children that black and brown children may come from better educated and more powerful families than their own.

DC's current school is relatively relaxed, but being involved in the school community was time consuming. Privates tend to lean much more on parent help with social and extra-curricular activities and that was a real challenge since we both work. There are parents who rely on the school community for their social life and they can be easy targets to make fun but, that happens in public schools too.

The pluses for us are easy to count. First, privates aren't part of a big large public bureaucracy. Negotiating with the school about my child's individual needs has been easy. At a public school, it would be like going to the DMV. No time has been wasted on preparing for standardized tests and my child's education has never been affected because others are slower (or faster). Second, we chose a school that fit our family's (non)beliefs. The school helped us teach DC strong values without resorting to faith. We didn't have to deal with creationism or families opposed to sex ed or parents freaked out by YA novels, let alone teachers that need to proselytize. Third, the school has helped us inculcate a sense of learning for its own sake. To the extent DC is academically competitive, it is driven internally, not externally by the school. And the school has been instrumental in helping value curiosity and questioning as important character traits. While teaching quality may vary, in DC's high school, the literature and history curricula are far more challenging and interesting than the typical public school AP tracks.

[Anonymous]

PP you sound opinionated and smug. Give me a break about the black and brown kids coming from better educated families -- you think people notice and they care? You are just rattling on about your beliefs -- someone cares, but it's not me! Your private school thoughts are wacky lady!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After 10 years in a smaller progressive private, DC is moving on to one of the Big 3 in September. The entire application process for high school was a tremendous time sink and pretty silly. We were astonished by the school that not only asked where we went to college, but where the grandparents graduated, and open houses with hundreds of families when only 20 or 30 seats were available.

Unless your family is conscientious about making social and economic class visible, it is easy for private school children to take their enormous privilege for granted. PP is right that there has been almost no exposure to true middle class or working class families. While I never saw a hint of FA families and students being treated differently, sleepovers and parties were never hosted at their homes. Families on the edge of affordability at privates tend to quietly slip away and disappear so there's no real sense of how hard it is to afford $25-35k/year tuition. And, upper middle-class families can easily think they are less privileged than they really are.

Diversity throughout the private school system is an ongoing challenge. There tend to be fewer teachers and administrators of color than students of color. Though students are about as diverse as the elite colleges, year-over-year retention among individual African-American and Latino families is poor. At the same time, private school can also teach white children that black and brown children may come from better educated and more powerful families than their own.

DC's current school is relatively relaxed, but being involved in the school community was time consuming. Privates tend to lean much more on parent help with social and extra-curricular activities and that was a real challenge since we both work. There are parents who rely on the school community for their social life and they can be easy targets to make fun but, that happens in public schools too.

The pluses for us are easy to count. First, privates aren't part of a big large public bureaucracy. Negotiating with the school about my child's individual needs has been easy. At a public school, it would be like going to the DMV. No time has been wasted on preparing for standardized tests and my child's education has never been affected because others are slower (or faster). Second, we chose a school that fit our family's (non)beliefs. The school helped us teach DC strong values without resorting to faith. We didn't have to deal with creationism or families opposed to sex ed or parents freaked out by YA novels, let alone teachers that need to proselytize. Third, the school has helped us inculcate a sense of learning for its own sake. To the extent DC is academically competitive, it is driven internally, not externally by the school. And the school has been instrumental in helping value curiosity and questioning as important character traits. While teaching quality may vary, in DC's high school, the literature and history curricula are far more challenging and interesting than the typical public school AP tracks.

Spot on!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After 10 years in a smaller progressive private, DC is moving on to one of the Big 3 in September. The entire application process for high school was a tremendous time sink and pretty silly. We were astonished by the school that not only asked where we went to college, but where the grandparents graduated, and open houses with hundreds of families when only 20 or 30 seats were available.

Unless your family is conscientious about making social and economic class visible, it is easy for private school children to take their enormous privilege for granted. PP is right that there has been almost no exposure to true middle class or working class families. While I never saw a hint of FA families and students being treated differently, sleepovers and parties were never hosted at their homes. Families on the edge of affordability at privates tend to quietly slip away and disappear so there's no real sense of how hard it is to afford $25-35k/year tuition. And, upper middle-class families can easily think they are less privileged than they really are.

Diversity throughout the private school system is an ongoing challenge. There tend to be fewer teachers and administrators of color than students of color. Though students are about as diverse as the elite colleges, year-over-year retention among individual African-American and Latino families is poor. At the same time, private school can also teach white children that black and brown children may come from better educated and more powerful families than their own.

DC's current school is relatively relaxed, but being involved in the school community was time consuming. Privates tend to lean much more on parent help with social and extra-curricular activities and that was a real challenge since we both work. There are parents who rely on the school community for their social life and they can be easy targets to make fun but, that happens in public schools too.

The pluses for us are easy to count. First, privates aren't part of a big large public bureaucracy. Negotiating with the school about my child's individual needs has been easy. At a public school, it would be like going to the DMV. No time has been wasted on preparing for standardized tests and my child's education has never been affected because others are slower (or faster). Second, we chose a school that fit our family's (non)beliefs. The school helped us teach DC strong values without resorting to faith. We didn't have to deal with creationism or families opposed to sex ed or parents freaked out by YA novels, let alone teachers that need to proselytize. Third, the school has helped us inculcate a sense of learning for its own sake. To the extent DC is academically competitive, it is driven internally, not externally by the school. And the school has been instrumental in helping value curiosity and questioning as important character traits. While teaching quality may vary, in DC's high school, the literature and history curricula are far more challenging and interesting than the typical public school AP tracks.

Thank you for your perspective!

DS is about to start at a Big 3 with major FA. I'm going to make it a point to host as many parties and sleepovers as I can in our tiny urban rowhouse. I want him to know that having more or less money is nothing to be proud/ashamed of -- it just is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

The pluses for us are easy to count. First, privates aren't part of a big large public bureaucracy. Negotiating with the school about my child's individual needs has been easy. At a public school, it would be like going to the DMV. No time has been wasted on preparing for standardized tests and my child's education has never been affected because others are slower (or faster). Second, we chose a school that fit our family's (non)beliefs. The school helped us teach DC strong values without resorting to faith. We didn't have to deal with creationism or families opposed to sex ed or parents freaked out by YA novels, let alone teachers that need to proselytize. Third, the school has helped us inculcate a sense of learning for its own sake. To the extent DC is academically competitive, it is driven internally, not externally by the school. And the school has been instrumental in helping value curiosity and questioning as important character traits. While teaching quality may vary, in DC's high school, the literature and history curricula are far more challenging and interesting than the typical public school AP tracks.

Do you live in the Deep South? Because no public school teaches creationism around here, every single public school teaches sex ed, YA novels are encouraged, and teachers would be fired if they tried to proselytize. (I was with you until you started talking about "resorting to religion" and sounding like one of those atheists who always cries about persecution.)

As a parent who has had kids in private and public schools, I appreciate your other points.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After 10 years in a smaller progressive private, DC is moving on to one of the Big 3 in September. The entire application process for high school was a tremendous time sink and pretty silly. We were astonished by the school that not only asked where we went to college, but where the grandparents graduated, and open houses with hundreds of families when only 20 or 30 seats were available.

Unless your family is conscientious about making social and economic class visible, it is easy for private school children to take their enormous privilege for granted. PP is right that there has been almost no exposure to true middle class or working class families. While I never saw a hint of FA families and students being treated differently, sleepovers and parties were never hosted at their homes. Families on the edge of affordability at privates tend to quietly slip away and disappear so there's no real sense of how hard it is to afford $25-35k/year tuition. And, upper middle-class families can easily think they are less privileged than they really are.

Diversity throughout the private school system is an ongoing challenge. There tend to be fewer teachers and administrators of color than students of color. Though students are about as diverse as the elite colleges, year-over-year retention among individual African-American and Latino families is poor. At the same time, private school can also teach white children that black and brown children may come from better educated and more powerful families than their own.

DC's current school is relatively relaxed, but being involved in the school community was time consuming. Privates tend to lean much more on parent help with social and extra-curricular activities and that was a real challenge since we both work. There are parents who rely on the school community for their social life and they can be easy targets to make fun but, that happens in public schools too.

The pluses for us are easy to count. First, privates aren't part of a big large public bureaucracy. Negotiating with the school about my child's individual needs has been easy. At a public school, it would be like going to the DMV. No time has been wasted on preparing for standardized tests and my child's education has never been affected because others are slower (or faster). Second, we chose a school that fit our family's (non)beliefs. The school helped us teach DC strong values without resorting to faith. We didn't have to deal with creationism or families opposed to sex ed or parents freaked out by YA novels, let alone teachers that need to proselytize. Third, the school has helped us inculcate a sense of learning for its own sake. To the extent DC is academically competitive, it is driven internally, not externally by the school. And the school has been instrumental in helping value curiosity and questioning as important character traits. While teaching quality may vary, in DC's high school, the literature and history curricula are far more challenging and interesting than the typical public school AP tracks.

yup, the process is worst than buying your first home. Only thing they didn't asked for was my blood type!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are about to end a long run at one of the Big 3 as our youngest graduates this spring. Over 10 years of paying two tuitions for our DCs and we have concluded that it was just not worth it in terms of dollars and collateral damage to the family experience of raising children/enjoying the formative years. Before there is a sour grapes allegation, understand that both of our DCs did well in school and in athletics and have gone/will go to top tier SLACs/Ivies. It is the empty feeling at the end of the day that a great sum was spent and lots of together time was lost in pursuit of some ineffable token of accomplishment/attainment. Perhaps the passage of time will reveal the intrinsic value of the Big 3 diploma and the hopefully valuable contacts that come from the friends made. Really hope that happens. Private school major plusses: small classes, higher achieving group of students (generally) and sports teams where there is a good chance to play. Private school major negatives: extremely competitive social and academic culture that is exacerbated by a large percentage of helicopter parents, overexposure to uber-wealthy families and corresponding lack of exposure to many working class families. I am sure that many private school families believe the teaching is better, but I can't say that was our experience.

I'm curious about your statement of time lost. I can understand the point about spending so much, but how does private school take away from family time more than public school does?

I feel the same way as the PP. To answer your question.... There is so much homework and sports requirements that kids spend a lot of the weekend studying and the early evening doing sports. Also, most people have a commute to their private so all that driving takes up time. I think another negative is the stress about college admittance and getting good grades. A private school needs to keep up their reputation of sending kids to good colleges so there is a lot of pressure on the students to do well and get into a name brand college. The other parents are also oozing stress about college acceptance so it makes for a very intense environment. Also, rich and/or famous kids and families get treated differently than the rank and file.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After 10 years in a smaller progressive private, DC is moving on to one of the Big 3 in September. The entire application process for high school was a tremendous time sink and pretty silly. We were astonished by the school that not only asked where we went to college, but where the grandparents graduated, and open houses with hundreds of families when only 20 or 30 seats were available.

Unless your family is conscientious about making social and economic class visible, it is easy for private school children to take their enormous privilege for granted. PP is right that there has been almost no exposure to true middle class or working class families. While I never saw a hint of FA families and students being treated differently, sleepovers and parties were never hosted at their homes. Families on the edge of affordability at privates tend to quietly slip away and disappear so there's no real sense of how hard it is to afford $25-35k/year tuition. And, upper middle-class families can easily think they are less privileged than they really are.

Diversity throughout the private school system is an ongoing challenge. There tend to be fewer teachers and administrators of color than students of color. Though students are about as diverse as the elite colleges, year-over-year retention among individual African-American and Latino families is poor. At the same time, private school can also teach white children that black and brown children may come from better educated and more powerful families than their own.

DC's current school is relatively relaxed, but being involved in the school community was time consuming. Privates tend to lean much more on parent help with social and extra-curricular activities and that was a real challenge since we both work. There are parents who rely on the school community for their social life and they can be easy targets to make fun but, that happens in public schools too.

The pluses for us are easy to count. First, privates aren't part of a big large public bureaucracy. Negotiating with the school about my child's individual needs has been easy. At a public school, it would be like going to the DMV. No time has been wasted on preparing for standardized tests and my child's education has never been affected because others are slower (or faster). Second, we chose a school that fit our family's (non)beliefs. The school helped us teach DC strong values without resorting to faith. We didn't have to deal with creationism or families opposed to sex ed or parents freaked out by YA novels, let alone teachers that need to proselytize. Third, the school has helped us inculcate a sense of learning for its own sake. To the extent DC is academically competitive, it is driven internally, not externally by the school. And the school has been instrumental in helping value curiosity and questioning as important character traits. While teaching quality may vary, in DC's high school, the literature and history curricula are far more challenging and interesting than the typical public school AP tracks.

Thank you for your perspective!

DS is about to start at a Big 3 with major FA. I'm going to make it a point to host as many parties and sleepovers as I can in our tiny urban rowhouse. I want him to know that having more or less money is nothing to be proud/ashamed of -- it just is.

Good luck with the party/sleepover hosting, let me guess you're just starting out and DS is in pk-3? Hopefully, your DS will not be made to feel ashamed at school. The kids talk about what they have and where they're going on vacation constantly. During all of their bragging, will DS captively listen, try to ignore them, or to save face and contribute to the conversation will he lie?

Wait...where you being sarcastic?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After 10 years in a smaller progressive private, DC is moving on to one of the Big 3 in September. The entire application process for high school was a tremendous time sink and pretty silly. We were astonished by the school that not only asked where we went to college, but where the grandparents graduated, and open houses with hundreds of families when only 20 or 30 seats were available.

Unless your family is conscientious about making social and economic class visible, it is easy for private school children to take their enormous privilege for granted. PP is right that there has been almost no exposure to true middle class or working class families. While I never saw a hint of FA families and students being treated differently, sleepovers and parties were never hosted at their homes. Families on the edge of affordability at privates tend to quietly slip away and disappear so there's no real sense of how hard it is to afford $25-35k/year tuition. And, upper middle-class families can easily think they are less privileged than they really are.

Diversity throughout the private school system is an ongoing challenge. There tend to be fewer teachers and administrators of color than students of color. Though students are about as diverse as the elite colleges, year-over-year retention among individual African-American and Latino families is poor. At the same time, private school can also teach white children that black and brown children may come from better educated and more powerful families than their own.

DC's current school is relatively relaxed, but being involved in the school community was time consuming. Privates tend to lean much more on parent help with social and extra-curricular activities and that was a real challenge since we both work. There are parents who rely on the school community for their social life and they can be easy targets to make fun but, that happens in public schools too.

The pluses for us are easy to count. First, privates aren't part of a big large public bureaucracy. Negotiating with the school about my child's individual needs has been easy. At a public school, it would be like going to the DMV. No time has been wasted on preparing for standardized tests and my child's education has never been affected because others are slower (or faster). Second, we chose a school that fit our family's (non)beliefs. The school helped us teach DC strong values without resorting to faith. We didn't have to deal with creationism or families opposed to sex ed or parents freaked out by YA novels, let alone teachers that need to proselytize. Third, the school has helped us inculcate a sense of learning for its own sake. To the extent DC is academically competitive, it is driven internally, not externally by the school. And the school has been instrumental in helping value curiosity and questioning as important character traits. While teaching quality may vary, in DC's high school, the literature and history curricula are far more challenging and interesting than the typical public school AP tracks.

Thank you for your perspective!

DS is about to start at a Big 3 with major FA. I'm going to make it a point to host as many parties and sleepovers as I can in our tiny urban rowhouse. I want him to know that having more or less money is nothing to be proud/ashamed of -- it just is.

Good luck with the party/sleepover hosting, let me guess you're just starting out and DS is in pk-3? Hopefully, your DS will not be made to feel ashamed at school. The kids talk about what they have and where they're going on vacation constantly. During all of their bragging, will DS captively listen, try to ignore them, or to save face and contribute to the conversation will he lie?

Wait...where you being sarcastic?

*meant: were you being sarcastic?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After 10 years in a smaller progressive private, DC is moving on to one of the Big 3 in September. The entire application process for high school was a tremendous time sink and pretty silly. We were astonished by the school that not only asked where we went to college, but where the grandparents graduated, and open houses with hundreds of families when only 20 or 30 seats were available.

Unless your family is conscientious about making social and economic class visible, it is easy for private school children to take their enormous privilege for granted. PP is right that there has been almost no exposure to true middle class or working class families. While I never saw a hint of FA families and students being treated differently, sleepovers and parties were never hosted at their homes. Families on the edge of affordability at privates tend to quietly slip away and disappear so there's no real sense of how hard it is to afford $25-35k/year tuition. And, upper middle-class families can easily think they are less privileged than they really are.

Diversity throughout the private school system is an ongoing challenge. There tend to be fewer teachers and administrators of color than students of color. Though students are about as diverse as the elite colleges, year-over-year retention among individual African-American and Latino families is poor. At the same time, private school can also teach white children that black and brown children may come from better educated and more powerful families than their own.

DC's current school is relatively relaxed, but being involved in the school community was time consuming. Privates tend to lean much more on parent help with social and extra-curricular activities and that was a real challenge since we both work. There are parents who rely on the school community for their social life and they can be easy targets to make fun but, that happens in public schools too.

The pluses for us are easy to count. First, privates aren't part of a big large public bureaucracy. Negotiating with the school about my child's individual needs has been easy. At a public school, it would be like going to the DMV. No time has been wasted on preparing for standardized tests and my child's education has never been affected because others are slower (or faster). Second, we chose a school that fit our family's (non)beliefs. The school helped us teach DC strong values without resorting to faith. We didn't have to deal with creationism or families opposed to sex ed or parents freaked out by YA novels, let alone teachers that need to proselytize. Third, the school has helped us inculcate a sense of learning for its own sake. To the extent DC is academically competitive, it is driven internally, not externally by the school. And the school has been instrumental in helping value curiosity and questioning as important character traits. While teaching quality may vary, in DC's high school, the literature and history curricula are far more challenging and interesting than the typical public school AP tracks.

ab


Really, astonished that they ask about college? They want to know where your child has a hook for college. If there is an ivy league hook even better.

It is also about donations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After 10 years in a smaller progressive private, DC is moving on to one of the Big 3 in September. The entire application process for high school was a tremendous time sink and pretty silly. We were astonished by the school that not only asked where we went to college, but where the grandparents graduated, and open houses with hundreds of families when only 20 or 30 seats were available.

Unless your family is conscientious about making social and economic class visible, it is easy for private school children to take their enormous privilege for granted. PP is right that there has been almost no exposure to true middle class or working class families. While I never saw a hint of FA families and students being treated differently, sleepovers and parties were never hosted at their homes. Families on the edge of affordability at privates tend to quietly slip away and disappear so there's no real sense of how hard it is to afford $25-35k/year tuition. And, upper middle-class families can easily think they are less privileged than they really are.

Diversity throughout the private school system is an ongoing challenge. There tend to be fewer teachers and administrators of color than students of color. Though students are about as diverse as the elite colleges, year-over-year retention among individual African-American and Latino families is poor. At the same time, private school can also teach white children that black and brown children may come from better educated and more powerful families than their own.

DC's current school is relatively relaxed, but being involved in the school community was time consuming. Privates tend to lean much more on parent help with social and extra-curricular activities and that was a real challenge since we both work. There are parents who rely on the school community for their social life and they can be easy targets to make fun but, that happens in public schools too.

The pluses for us are easy to count. First, privates aren't part of a big large public bureaucracy. Negotiating with the school about my child's individual needs has been easy. At a public school, it would be like going to the DMV. No time has been wasted on preparing for standardized tests and my child's education has never been affected because others are slower (or faster). Second, we chose a school that fit our family's (non)beliefs. The school helped us teach DC strong values without resorting to faith. We didn't have to deal with creationism or families opposed to sex ed or parents freaked out by YA novels, let alone teachers that need to proselytize. Third, the school has helped us inculcate a sense of learning for its own sake. To the extent DC is academically competitive, it is driven internally, not externally by the school. And the school has been instrumental in helping value curiosity and questioning as important character traits. While teaching quality may vary, in DC's high school, the literature and history curricula are far more challenging and interesting than the typical public school AP tracks.

Thank you for your perspective!

DS is about to start at a Big 3 with major FA. I'm going to make it a point to host as many parties and sleepovers as I can in our tiny urban rowhouse. I want him to know that having more or less money is nothing to be proud/ashamed of -- it just is.

Good luck with the party/sleepover hosting, let me guess you're just starting out and DS is in pk-3? Hopefully, your DS will not be made to feel ashamed at school. The kids talk about what they have and where they're going on vacation constantly. During all of their bragging, will DS captively listen, try to ignore them, or to save face and contribute to the conversation will he lie?

Wait...where you being sarcastic?

Really tasteless trying to shame/scare the pp.
We live in a tiny row house in a less than desirable neighborhood and we just started upper ES age dc in an independent this year. Dc has a very outgoing personality and rose to stardom pretty fast (which I don't quite know what to do with because I was and still am a wallflower). He has friends over often, and no one has ever said a word to him about how much money we're lacking. The parents might talk among themselves...or maybe driving to our home might have helped some realize they should change their perspective. Either way, he's happy and thriving, and no one has ever pointed out that we're not keeping up with the Jonses. I would like to think that's because what we have in common is that we value the quality of our kids' education.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After 10 years in a smaller progressive private, DC is moving on to one of the Big 3 in September. The entire application process for high school was a tremendous time sink and pretty silly. We were astonished by the school that not only asked where we went to college, but where the grandparents graduated, and open houses with hundreds of families when only 20 or 30 seats were available.

Unless your family is conscientious about making social and economic class visible, it is easy for private school children to take their enormous privilege for granted. PP is right that there has been almost no exposure to true middle class or working class families. While I never saw a hint of FA families and students being treated differently, sleepovers and parties were never hosted at their homes. Families on the edge of affordability at privates tend to quietly slip away and disappear so there's no real sense of how hard it is to afford $25-35k/year tuition. And, upper middle-class families can easily think they are less privileged than they really are.

Diversity throughout the private school system is an ongoing challenge. There tend to be fewer teachers and administrators of color than students of color. Though students are about as diverse as the elite colleges, year-over-year retention among individual African-American and Latino families is poor. At the same time, private school can also teach white children that black and brown children may come from better educated and more powerful families than their own.

DC's current school is relatively relaxed, but being involved in the school community was time consuming. Privates tend to lean much more on parent help with social and extra-curricular activities and that was a real challenge since we both work. There are parents who rely on the school community for their social life and they can be easy targets to make fun but, that happens in public schools too.

The pluses for us are easy to count. First, privates aren't part of a big large public bureaucracy. Negotiating with the school about my child's individual needs has been easy. At a public school, it would be like going to the DMV. No time has been wasted on preparing for standardized tests and my child's education has never been affected because others are slower (or faster). Second, we chose a school that fit our family's (non)beliefs. The school helped us teach DC strong values without resorting to faith. We didn't have to deal with creationism or families opposed to sex ed or parents freaked out by YA novels, let alone teachers that need to proselytize. Third, the school has helped us inculcate a sense of learning for its own sake. To the extent DC is academically competitive, it is driven internally, not externally by the school. And the school has been instrumental in helping value curiosity and questioning as important character traits. While teaching quality may vary, in DC's high school, the literature and history curricula are far more challenging and interesting than the typical public school AP tracks.

ab


Really, astonished that they ask about college? They want to know where your child has a hook for college. If there is an ivy league hook even better.

It is also about donations.

I'm wondering why they ask about grandparents' colleges, and which school this was. Not even Sidwell asks about the grandparents, for the good reason that this doesn't constitute much of a hook unless you're part of the 0.0001% with grandparents who donated a building or a chair.

[Anonymous]

Do you live in the Deep South? Because no public school teaches creationism around here, every single public school teaches sex ed, YA novels are encouraged, and teachers would be fired if they tried to proselytize. (I was with you until you started talking about "resorting to religion" and sounding like one of those atheists who always cries about persecution.)


I think it depends on the school...

Have you been to any of the parent meetings in public schools prior to the start of sex ed? There are lots of concerns raised and in our local public every year there are at least 4 or 5 kids who are not able to participate. What teachers can/can't say is very detailed and often the discussion is discouraged b/c teachers are afraid of saying the right thing. There are also many popular books that are not "approved" and can't be in the school library.

Privates I've been involved with may tell parents that they are starting sex ed, but there is little discussion of what can/can't be taught. They have their curriculum and will teach it. They will often take lots of time on class discussion and really answer kids questions.

I work in a public school and have kids in both public and private. Oddly, in my experience, parents have a much larger voice in many public schools than many privates... and publics are way more worried about being politically correct, so much so that things get completely ignored that could be discussed in respectful ways that really helped kids understand and respect differences

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After 10 years in a smaller progressive private, DC is moving on to one of the Big 3 in September. The entire application process for high school was a tremendous time sink and pretty silly. We were astonished by the school that not only asked where we went to college, but where the grandparents graduated, and open houses with hundreds of families when only 20 or 30 seats were available.

Unless your family is conscientious about making social and economic class visible, it is easy for private school children to take their enormous privilege for granted. PP is right that there has been almost no exposure to true middle class or working class families. While I never saw a hint of FA families and students being treated differently, sleepovers and parties were never hosted at their homes. Families on the edge of affordability at privates tend to quietly slip away and disappear so there's no real sense of how hard it is to afford $25-35k/year tuition. And, upper middle-class families can easily think they are less privileged than they really are.

Diversity throughout the private school system is an ongoing challenge. There tend to be fewer teachers and administrators of color than students of color. Though students are about as diverse as the elite colleges, year-over-year retention among individual African-American and Latino families is poor. At the same time, private school can also teach white children that black and brown children may come from better educated and more powerful families than their own.

DC's current school is relatively relaxed, but being involved in the school community was time consuming. Privates tend to lean much more on parent help with social and extra-curricular activities and that was a real challenge since we both work. There are parents who rely on the school community for their social life and they can be easy targets to make fun but, that happens in public schools too.

The pluses for us are easy to count. First, privates aren't part of a big large public bureaucracy. Negotiating with the school about my child's individual needs has been easy. At a public school, it would be like going to the DMV. No time has been wasted on preparing for standardized tests and my child's education has never been affected because others are slower (or faster). Second, we chose a school that fit our family's (non)beliefs. The school helped us teach DC strong values without resorting to faith. We didn't have to deal with creationism or families opposed to sex ed or parents freaked out by YA novels, let alone teachers that need to proselytize. Third, the school has helped us inculcate a sense of learning for its own sake. To the extent DC is academically competitive, it is driven internally, not externally by the school. And the school has been instrumental in helping value curiosity and questioning as important character traits. While teaching quality may vary, in DC's high school, the literature and history curricula are far more challenging and interesting than the typical public school AP tracks.

ab


Really, astonished that they ask about college? They want to know where your child has a hook for college. If there is an ivy league hook even better.

It is also about donations.

I'm wondering why they ask about grandparents' colleges, and which school this was. Not even Sidwell asks about the grandparents, for the good reason that this doesn't constitute much of a hook unless you're part of the 0.0001% with grandparents who donated a building or a chair.

DD applied to many of the private schools last year for HS and none them asked where grandparents went to college. And i can't find where they asked where either of the parents went (although i vaguely recall reporting where i went to college). I do see i had to list what the degrees DH and I had (but not the school). The only invasive question I thought was about the siblings which they all asked.