What do you say?

[Anonymous]

I would really want my son to get a paternity test before he signs the birth certificate. The cryptic pregnancy (or her lying) and your family's money make me suspicious.

[Anonymous]

Update??????

[Anonymous]

Whilst OP of both threads
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/30/1310958.page
is busy nesting by proxy, any word and when the paternity test results are expected?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here again

I was trying to just sit back and absorb and try not to interfere with things that are not my decision, and just told him I’d be here for whatever he needed when he needs me.

This all just started Wed night and today Tuesday he just texted me she’s delivering now at (kindly) approximately 33 weeks

Baby will need to stay in the NICU for at least a week

I have no more words, maybe they were both in such shock it caused her to go into preterm labor

His father has put him in contact with a lawyer. I don’t know what for yet. I just presume that he’s still in shock and doesn’t know how he feels about anything but it’s definitely about to get very real now.

I just hope that the actual presence of a live infant will help both of them decide where they are going to fall on all of this emotionally. I still don’t know how her mom & grandma feel about it or even if she’s told them.

He doesn’t want me to be there just now.

I imagine you never know until you’re actually there how it will all feel. I feel so helpless.

Hmmm, possible but unlikely that a 33 seeker would only spend a week in the NICU. Why did she deliver early?

I would honestly wonder whether she was more than 32 weeks, whether she’s known all along and whether your son is the father.

Hope son has a paternity test done - stat.

[Anonymous]

OP here

I moved to the expectant mothers/post party thread because now there is a baby and it's about the baby

I posted on that one asking about supplies and most of the advice was good but you can only prepare so much for someone else when you haven't been given the whole list or have had a chance to even announce anything

Now I can't even announce anything

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where does it say she has a good job and insurance?

Exactly. We have not heard much about the "girlfriend." Does the OP know/like her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You told your son you would support him always.
But even in that post you sound like were getting into being a grandmother.
Then you say you were grandmothering up.
Now circling wagons. Team baby.

You lied to your son.
I am glad he has a lawyer.

The only thing a lawyer can advise is how much child support he will have to pay, with or without joint custody. The man-child needs to decide whether or not he wants to be a part of his son's life and seek joint custody. OP is supporting her son. It might not be the way her son wants, but that does not mean she is not supporting him.

And if he decides he doesn't want to be part of that child's life and pays child support as required...

Team Son.

And isn't child support based on father's salary (percentage) or negotiated? No matter his involvement, son will be paying support. Hope DNA test is being done - stat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whilst OP of both threads
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/30/1310958.page
is busy nesting by proxy, any word and when the paternity test results are expected?

Love the "nesting by proxy." And would love to have an update on the paternity test.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where does it say she has a good job and insurance?

Exactly. We have not heard much about the "girlfriend." Does the OP know/like her?

Just read - OP has met GF once or so. Does not know her last name.

[Anonymous]

OP here

I had met her a few times. Over time, as they entered adulthood I have had less investment in my sons' girlfriends since they have autonomy to break up with them with their own free will. OK cool fine

That's maybe why I didn't remember how this young woman's dad died. I just didn't get invested in it at the time.

This was just a bomb that dropped in the last 10 days (I am counting since Jan. 14 2026 with a 1st day pregnancy test) and an actual baby that was born pre-term within 5 days in the NICU last week. Y'all count I can't count anymore. I did try to make marks in my date planner towards early March and didn't get too far.

I'm not adverse to this forum, I'm not trying to make any points.

I just literally can't post anything or tell anyone or do anything else, I have to be not involved

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whilst OP of both threads
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/30/1310958.page
is busy nesting by proxy, any word and when the paternity test results are expected?

Love the "nesting by proxy." And would love to have an update on the paternity test.

It's my son's child

He knows it. His dad knows it. He knows I know it. And that anyone looking at the baby picture knows it.

It's also all going to be OK.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your mid 20s son tells you his girlfriend of a year is pregnant and wants your advice.

They don’t know how far along she is and they have a joint appointment at planned parenthood in the next 48 hours.

What would you actually say?

"Congratulations. When is the wedding?"

What else would you say?

Np. Not that pp. You are assuming they want to get married. Or have kids.

I would say what do you want and how can I help?

[Anonymous]

Why get married ??????

For what reason?

The US healthcare system just means that the father who didn't expect a pregnancy now signs up for up to a half a million in debt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why get married ??????

For what reason?

The US healthcare system just means that the father who didn't expect a pregnancy now signs up for up to a half a million in debt.

Father signed up when he deposited his sperm. Marrying or not marrying is irrelevant.

[Anonymous]

If you are both 27 and living together after undergrad and have healthcare, its not that big of a bombshell. Many of my friends had kids in grad and med schools and they are all doing fine, most of those kids are now professionals themselves. In fact most of these friends did better in life than ones who kept hoping from relationship to relationship and struggled with marriage and infertility in their mid and late 30's.