SAHMs that never return to workforce?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think most women are young and naive when they makes decision to become SAHM, it’s mostly due to circumstance and societal conditioning. Once they do, it becomes difficult to leave all the responsibilities, by the time kids are out of high school, they are in midlife or often peri menopause and it’s been so long they find it intimidating to go back to the world. With lack of experience and up to date certifications as well as advancement in their fields, all they can get it often not attractive enough to leave their psychological barriers. It’s not taken seriously by the society but there should be system in place to help them with this transition.

Lates 30s, professional degree, 15+ years of experience when I started SAH. I would like to see backup statistics for your assertion. I have met far more SAH women in my situation than the one you described.

Late 30’s with 15+ experience isn’t where most young women start.

In DC it definitely is.

from my DMV experience, the SAHMs I know are roughly divided between the camps of 15+ and <10 years of experience. Those in the latter had not always broken through to full management positions, so not a lot of advancement in their fields.

This. Not everyone waits to have children until they are inching towards infertility. Many prefer to have kids between 25-30.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think most women are young and naive when they makes decision to become SAHM, it’s mostly due to circumstance and societal conditioning. Once they do, it becomes difficult to leave all the responsibilities, by the time kids are out of high school, they are in midlife or often peri menopause and it’s been so long they find it intimidating to go back to the world. With lack of experience and up to date certifications as well as advancement in their fields, all they can get it often not attractive enough to leave their psychological barriers. It’s not taken seriously by the society but there should be system in place to help them with this transition.

This and also before biological clock starts ticking. Often women who wait longer end up dealing with infertility battle or having to delegate child raising to strangers because its difficult to take leave during most productive period of your career.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think most women are young and naive when they makes decision to become SAHM, it’s mostly due to circumstance and societal conditioning. Once they do, it becomes difficult to leave all the responsibilities, by the time kids are out of high school, they are in midlife or often peri menopause and it’s been so long they find it intimidating to go back to the world. With lack of experience and up to date certifications as well as advancement in their fields, all they can get it often not attractive enough to leave their psychological barriers. It’s not taken seriously by the society but there should be system in place to help them with this transition.

Agree with this. I’ve seen this happen to most UMC SAHMs I know. When they quit their jobs, they seem naive to the longer term repercussions. They end up taking on the bulk of housework and childcare and their husband is fully trained that their wife handles all of that. Over time, they losing earning power while their husband continues to earn more money. They end up in a position where it doesn’t make sense to return to work.

And… what’s wrong with that? That woman got time with her children, is still married, still has a home and food. Maybe she thinks it was a good trade off.
I think it’s more naive when young women embark on “big careers” thinking they can do it all bc they are special.

[Anonymous]

Neither nature nor society is favorable to women, at least we should stick together and lift each other up even if we are making different choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think most women are young and naive when they makes decision to become SAHM, it’s mostly due to circumstance and societal conditioning. Once they do, it becomes difficult to leave all the responsibilities, by the time kids are out of high school, they are in midlife or often peri menopause and it’s been so long they find it intimidating to go back to the world. With lack of experience and up to date certifications as well as advancement in their fields, all they can get it often not attractive enough to leave their psychological barriers. It’s not taken seriously by the society but there should be system in place to help them with this transition.

Agree with this. I’ve seen this happen to most UMC SAHMs I know. When they quit their jobs, they seem naive to the longer term repercussions. They end up taking on the bulk of housework and childcare and their husband is fully trained that their wife handles all of that. Over time, they losing earning power while their husband continues to earn more money. They end up in a position where it doesn’t make sense to return to work.

If both of you are career minded, focus on that and delay until both of you are more flexible and ready to start a family. If you want a career and a traditional family, earn enough to support a partner who is more family oriented and flexible.

[Anonymous]

or have wealthy parents and a wealthy spouse so income is not driving your life’s decisions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think most women are young and naive when they makes decision to become SAHM, it’s mostly due to circumstance and societal conditioning. Once they do, it becomes difficult to leave all the responsibilities, by the time kids are out of high school, they are in midlife or often peri menopause and it’s been so long they find it intimidating to go back to the world. With lack of experience and up to date certifications as well as advancement in their fields, all they can get it often not attractive enough to leave their psychological barriers. It’s not taken seriously by the society but there should be system in place to help them with this transition.

Agree with this. I’ve seen this happen to most UMC SAHMs I know. When they quit their jobs, they seem naive to the longer term repercussions. They end up taking on the bulk of housework and childcare and their husband is fully trained that their wife handles all of that. Over time, they losing earning power while their husband continues to earn more money. They end up in a position where it doesn’t make sense to return to work.

And… what’s wrong with that? That woman got time with her children, is still married, still has a home and food. Maybe she thinks it was a good trade off.
I think it’s more naive when young women embark on “big careers” thinking they can do it all bc they are special.

+1. The naïveté is real. Those same women tend to also look down on the women who cut hours, take less competitive positions so they can have more time and flexibility for their families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think most women are young and naive when they makes decision to become SAHM, it’s mostly due to circumstance and societal conditioning. Once they do, it becomes difficult to leave all the responsibilities, by the time kids are out of high school, they are in midlife or often peri menopause and it’s been so long they find it intimidating to go back to the world. With lack of experience and up to date certifications as well as advancement in their fields, all they can get it often not attractive enough to leave their psychological barriers. It’s not taken seriously by the society but there should be system in place to help them with this transition.

Lates 30s, professional degree, 15+ years of experience when I started SAH. I would like to see backup statistics for your assertion. I have met far more SAH women in my situation than the one you described.

Late 30’s with 15+ experience isn’t where most young women start.

Disagree albeit on a purely anecdotal level; I was 36 when I left my career and it was a calculated choice we made including the consideration of so many different factors. In THIS area, close in NOVA, Montgomery County and the District, I find that this is the norm, not the exception. I have yet to meet a you g twenty something who stayed home by default like in ye olden 1950s.
My spouse and I have a partnership, centered around our family’s emotional health and our financial freedom, and it is a modern marriage that I see mirrored in countless couples we know.
This is not your mama’s SAHM type of situation honey.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:or have wealthy parents and a wealthy spouse so income is not driving your life’s decisions.

That doesn’t let you focus on both career and home, all you can do is quit work without worrying about income or hire helpers to raise kids and run home, you still can’t do both or not well enough to be guilt free.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think most women are young and naive when they makes decision to become SAHM, it’s mostly due to circumstance and societal conditioning. Once they do, it becomes difficult to leave all the responsibilities, by the time kids are out of high school, they are in midlife or often peri menopause and it’s been so long they find it intimidating to go back to the world. With lack of experience and up to date certifications as well as advancement in their fields, all they can get it often not attractive enough to leave their psychological barriers. It’s not taken seriously by the society but there should be system in place to help them with this transition.

Lates 30s, professional degree, 15+ years of experience when I started SAH. I would like to see backup statistics for your assertion. I have met far more SAH women in my situation than the one you described.

Late 30’s with 15+ experience isn’t where most young women start.

Disagree albeit on a purely anecdotal level; I was 36 when I left my career and it was a calculated choice we made including the consideration of so many different factors. In THIS area, close in NOVA, Montgomery County and the District, I find that this is the norm, not the exception. I have yet to meet a you g twenty something who stayed home by default like in ye olden 1950s.
My spouse and I have a partnership, centered around our family’s emotional health and our financial freedom, and it is a modern marriage that I see mirrored in countless couples we know.
This is not your mama’s SAHM type of situation honey.

Your last sentence killed your whole post by showing disrespectfully judgmental and defensive behavior. Anyone comfortable in their own skin wouldn’t feel this need to take cheap shots.

[Anonymous]

Superiority complex isn’t exclusive to narcissist men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:or have wealthy parents and a wealthy spouse so income is not driving your life’s decisions.

That doesn’t let you focus on both career and home, all you can do is quit work without worrying about income or hire helpers to raise kids and run home, you still can’t do both or not well enough to be guilt free.

Men are always guilt free in this regard, it’s a self-imposed punishment for women due to biological inequality and centuries of societal conditioning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think most women are young and naive when they makes decision to become SAHM, it’s mostly due to circumstance and societal conditioning. Once they do, it becomes difficult to leave all the responsibilities, by the time kids are out of high school, they are in midlife or often peri menopause and it’s been so long they find it intimidating to go back to the world. With lack of experience and up to date certifications as well as advancement in their fields, all they can get it often not attractive enough to leave their psychological barriers. It’s not taken seriously by the society but there should be system in place to help them with this transition.

Agree with this. I’ve seen this happen to most UMC SAHMs I know. When they quit their jobs, they seem naive to the longer term repercussions. They end up taking on the bulk of housework and childcare and their husband is fully trained that their wife handles all of that. Over time, they losing earning power while their husband continues to earn more money. They end up in a position where it doesn’t make sense to return to work.

And… what’s wrong with that? That woman got time with her children, is still married, still has a home and food. Maybe she thinks it was a good trade off.
I think it’s more naive when young women embark on “big careers” thinking they can do it all bc they are special.

+1. The naïveté is real. Those same women tend to also look down on the women who cut hours, take less competitive positions so they can have more time and flexibility for their families.

This. You can’t stay home with kids. You can’t compromise on career path. You can’t put work first. Women just can’t win.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Superiority complex isn’t exclusive to narcissist men.

It’s worse in radical feminists.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think most women are young and naive when they makes decision to become SAHM, it’s mostly due to circumstance and societal conditioning. Once they do, it becomes difficult to leave all the responsibilities, by the time kids are out of high school, they are in midlife or often peri menopause and it’s been so long they find it intimidating to go back to the world. With lack of experience and up to date certifications as well as advancement in their fields, all they can get it often not attractive enough to leave their psychological barriers. It’s not taken seriously by the society but there should be system in place to help them with this transition.

Lates 30s, professional degree, 15+ years of experience when I started SAH. I would like to see backup statistics for your assertion. I have met far more SAH women in my situation than the one you described.

Late 30’s with 15+ experience isn’t where most young women start.

Disagree albeit on a purely anecdotal level; I was 36 when I left my career and it was a calculated choice we made including the consideration of so many different factors. In THIS area, close in NOVA, Montgomery County and the District, I find that this is the norm, not the exception. I have yet to meet a you g twenty something who stayed home by default like in ye olden 1950s.
My spouse and I have a partnership, centered around our family’s emotional health and our financial freedom, and it is a modern marriage that I see mirrored in countless couples we know.
This is not your mama’s SAHM type of situation honey.

Your last sentence killed your whole post by showing disrespectfully judgmental and defensive behavior. Anyone comfortable in their own skin wouldn’t feel this need to take cheap shots.

Lol. You are clearly insecure in your own life choices to seek validation in the pages of DCUM. The previous posters are pretending that this is some 19050s marginalized housewife situation and it is simply NOT the case. These are professional women in droves choosing a situation that works for them and the judgment being displayed here is grotesque.