HS Party with Alcohol... Death

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it possible to teach the kids to drink responsible? Is you are going to do it (most teenagers do it) don't drive under any circumstances. Similarly that using protection if you are going to,have sex.

This was/is my approach with my 20 year old son. In addition to making sure he knows I will come get him under any circumstances no questions asked, I also make sure he has uber money for his out of state college. I don't think he is above the law or should drink, but he is entering his junior year of college and it's not practical or logical to just say no at this point. I don't think my son would ever drink and drive, but it's like that dateline program where the 4 years old went with the stranger who told them there was a lost puppy- all the preschool parents said "not my kid" and most the kids in the testing sample took off with the guy. Parenting a 18-21 year old inst easy, and those who haven't done it yet should hold judgement.

Does he drink at home?

No. He and his friends come to our house to eat and socialize (we have always been the welcoming, open kool aid house) and I always cook for them and have age appropriate munchies. We have a piano and guitars, they eat, play music, play video games then go "out." With "people." I get no more information than that, even though I am fairly close not just to my son with but with his friends as well. I ask him to text me if he is staying the night at someones home or apartment so I don't worry (which he does 90% of the time.) He has a car. I would say about 1/2 the time they go "out" with "people" he comes back home, and about 1/2 the time he rolls in about 11 AM after having already slept somewhere. He is taking summer college classes, as well as interning in a major appropriate business 3 days a week, and he has never not made Deans List, so I would classify him as a good kid. I know he has also tried Molly, and that he does drink, but never at home. He has a very wide circle of friends and is very social. I could wake up being Sam Ellis's mom someday, but any of us could. There but for the grace of god go any of our children. I'm sure Sams mother loves Sam as much as you love your child. There are no easy answers and by backing your almost adult or adult age child into a corner of compliance you aren't allowing them to become adults. We need to talk about ways to keep them safe in the real world. To be honest, though, I don't know if I would let a daughter have the freedom my son has. It's not fair, but it's a different and scarier world out there for girls.

I do think it is odd that you know your son drinks but he does not have a beer with his dad watching a football game or a glass of wine with dinner (which is legal), but I don't think it is wrong. I don't think there is any 1 right answer. I do not judge any of the parents of these kids.

[Anonymous]

My son doesn't have a dad and I don't drink.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
"These tragedies will continue until we stop enabling underaged drinking."
-Montgomery County Captain Thomas Didone who had to tell one of the families their son was dead.

I hope the police captain will not be falsely accused of slander on this thread, and have his quote deleted.

But no matter how much we do right, how much we try our best to educate outer kids sometimes tragedy strikes.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/police-captains-traffic-safety-message-becomes-personal-after-sons-death/2012/05/30/gJQAwY3f2U_gallery.html

And he and his ex wife work tirelessly to stop it from happening to others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
"These tragedies will continue until we stop enabling underaged drinking."
-Montgomery County Captain Thomas Didone who had to tell one of the families their son was dead.

I hope the police captain will not be falsely accused of slander on this thread, and have his quote deleted.

But no matter how much we do right, how much we try our best to educate outer kids sometimes tragedy strikes.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/police-captains-traffic-safety-message-becomes-personal-after-sons-death/2012/05/30/gJQAwY3f2U_gallery.html

And he and his ex wife work tirelessly to stop it from happening to others.

Bless this Police Captain and his dear wife.
They speak the truth from personal experience.
We should take note of the Captain's advice,
and stop enabling our kid's bad behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Bless this Police Captain and his dear wife.
They speak the truth from personal experience.
We should take note of the Captain's advice,
and stop enabling our kid's bad behavior.

It would be more useful if, instead of blessing Captain Didone, you told us what his advice actually is? I assume it's more specific than "stop enabling".

I also think it's important to say that the wreck that killed Captain Didone's son did not involve alcohol: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/10/21/AR2008102100482.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Bless this Police Captain and his dear wife.
They speak the truth from personal experience.
We should take note of the Captain's advice,
and stop enabling our kid's bad behavior.

It would be more useful if, instead of blessing Captain Didone, you told us what his advice actually is? I assume it's more specific than "stop enabling".

I also think it's important to say that the wreck that killed Captain Didone's son did not involve alcohol: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/10/21/AR2008102100482.html

I think what the first PP to mention him wasa talking about,mas that even with parents highly involved in traffic safety, for some reason their son did not wear a seat belt that day. As hard as we try, things will never be perfect 100% of the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Bless this Police Captain and his dear wife.
They speak the truth from personal experience.
We should take note of the Captain's advice,
and stop enabling our kid's bad behavior.

It would be more useful if, instead of blessing Captain Didone, you told us what his advice actually is? I assume it's more specific than "stop enabling".

I also think it's important to say that the wreck that killed Captain Didone's son did not involve alcohol: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/10/21/AR2008102100482.html

Yes, I also noticed it was the speed of the driver.
I quoted the Captain's advice in my text,
but I'll say it again.
We need to stop enabling our kids.


Sending them off to drinking parties in a car
on Saturday night, is enabling. Period.
The one thing they'll most likely learn
from those 'growing up' experiences,
is how to become more proficient at lying.

[Anonymous]

I've said this before on DCUM, and pps have said similar things.
Iinstead of just prohibiting your teen/20-something from drinking, you really must work on a relationship where you insist and your kid feels comfortable calling you in any situation and you will come and get him/her. Save the lecture and/or punishment if any for the next day.
Short of or in addition to that (and what we do for college-aged kids), get Uber and tie it to your credit card -- that way there is absolutely zero excuse that your kids gets in a car as the driver or as a passenger in a car when the driver has been drinking. There are many tragic accidents where the passengers are killed and the drunk driver survives -- make sure your kid is not the passenger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
"These tragedies will continue until we stop enabling underaged drinking."
-Montgomery County Captain Thomas Didone who had to tell one of the families their son was dead.

I hope the police captain will not be falsely accused of slander on this thread, and have his quote deleted.

No kidding. I posted facts that are widely known by the Wootton community and they were deleted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've said this before on DCUM, and pps have said similar things.
Iinstead of just prohibiting your teen/20-something from drinking, you really must work on a relationship where you insist and your kid feels comfortable calling you in any situation and you will come and get him/her. Save the lecture and/or punishment if any for the next day.
Short of or in addition to that (and what we do for college-aged kids), get Uber and tie it to your credit card -- that way there is absolutely zero excuse that your kids gets in a car as the driver or as a passenger in a car when the driver has been drinking. There are many tragic accidents where the passengers are killed and the drunk driver survives -- make sure your kid is not the passenger.

Agree 100%! I have had the conversation many times. I don't condone drinking, but should my child break the rules I want her to come home alive. The most important thing you can do is make sure your child has a plan before they drink that first drop! Once they start drinking, their judgement is clouded.

[Anonymous]

http://news.discovery.com/autos/drive/cars-of-the-future-could-prevent-drunk-driving-150612.htm

Technology will eventually be able to help this problem

[Anonymous]

Electrical engineer husband who works on developing safer cars says its feasible this technology will arrive by 2020...wont be standard but it will be available. Thank you technology!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Yes, I also noticed it was the speed of the driver.
I quoted the Captain's advice in my text,
but I'll say it again.
We need to stop enabling our kids.


Sending them off to drinking parties in a car
on Saturday night, is enabling. Period.
The one thing they'll most likely learn
from those 'growing up' experiences,
is how to become more proficient at lying.

"We need to stop enabling our kids" is not advice. It's a general statement. I agree with the general statement, but it's not advice.

"Don't send your child off to drinking parties in a car on a Saturday night" is advice, but I doubt that there are many people who are consciously and purposefully doing this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've said this before on DCUM, and pps have said similar things.
Iinstead of just prohibiting your teen/20-something from drinking, you really must work on a relationship where you insist and your kid feels comfortable calling you in any situation and you will come and get him/her. Save the lecture and/or punishment if any for the next day.
Short of or in addition to that (and what we do for college-aged kids), get Uber and tie it to your credit card -- that way there is absolutely zero excuse that your kids gets in a car as the driver or as a passenger in a car when the driver has been drinking. There are many tragic accidents where the passengers are killed and the drunk driver survives -- make sure your kid is not the passenger.

How about this then?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've said this before on DCUM, and pps have said similar things.
Iinstead of just prohibiting your teen/20-something from drinking, you really must work on a relationship where you insist and your kid feels comfortable calling you in any situation and you will come and get him/her. Save the lecture and/or punishment if any for the next day.
Short of or in addition to that (and what we do for college-aged kids), get Uber and tie it to your credit card -- that way there is absolutely zero excuse that your kids gets in a car as the driver or as a passenger in a car when the driver has been drinking. There are many tragic accidents where the passengers are killed and the drunk driver survives -- make sure your kid is not the passenger.

How about this then?

Most kids aren't equipped to deal with the peer pressure to AVOID calling their parents, at any cost. Most parents prefer to ignore this mighty little fact.