HS Party with Alcohol... Death

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I started this thread in the teen section, precisely because teen drinking (and very often driving) is a problem in virtually every single high school, not just the wealthy schools in Montgomery County.

It's vitally important to have open communication about what leads families, schools, and communities to this deadly situation, and how to reduce it. We must stop protecting our good kids from the realities of life. And death.

If that were true, no one would have a problem with this thread. Instead, you started the thread with this:

Do we already have a thread about what happened to the Wooten graduates?

If you don't see the difference, then I cannot help you.

Seriously, is that the best you can do?

Caught trying to back-pedal. Try harder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one cares about Twitter, but I do care about the next teen who'll be at a party, and drinking and driving.

What to do, folks? Nothing?

[Anonymous]

Is it possible to teach the kids to drink responsible? Is you are going to do it (most teenagers do it) don't drive under any circumstances. Similarly that using protection if you are going to,have sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one cares about Twitter, but I do care about the next teen who'll be at a party, and drinking and driving.

What to do, folks? Nothing?

Lots of tried and true best practices out there to significantly reduce the chance of a teen drinking and driving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one cares about Twitter, but I do care about the next teen who'll be at a party, and drinking and driving.

What to do, folks? Nothing?

Lots of tried and true best practices out there to significantly reduce the chance of a teen drinking and driving.

What are they?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it possible to teach the kids to drink responsible? Is you are going to do it (most teenagers do it) don't drive under any circumstances. Similarly that using protection if you are going to,have sex.

This was/is my approach with my 20 year old son. In addition to making sure he knows I will come get him under any circumstances no questions asked, I also make sure he has uber money for his out of state college. I don't think he is above the law or should drink, but he is entering his junior year of college and it's not practical or logical to just say no at this point. I don't think my son would ever drink and drive, but it's like that dateline program where the 4 years old went with the stranger who told them there was a lost puppy- all the preschool parents said "not my kid" and most the kids in the testing sample took off with the guy. Parenting a 18-21 year old inst easy, and those who haven't done it yet should hold judgement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it possible to teach the kids to drink responsible? Is you are going to do it (most teenagers do it) don't drive under any circumstances. Similarly that using protection if you are going to,have sex.

This was/is my approach with my 20 year old son. In addition to making sure he knows I will come get him under any circumstances no questions asked, I also make sure he has uber money for his out of state college. I don't think he is above the law or should drink, but he is entering his junior year of college and it's not practical or logical to just say no at this point. I don't think my son would ever drink and drive, but it's like that dateline program where the 4 years old went with the stranger who told them there was a lost puppy- all the preschool parents said "not my kid" and most the kids in the testing sample took off with the guy. Parenting a 18-21 year old inst easy, and those who haven't done it yet should hold judgement.

People who have done it should withhold judgment, too. Not "This is what I did, and it worked for my kid, so you should do it too and it will work for your kid, and if you don't it's all your fault" but rather "This is what I did, and my kid made it, which I'm grateful for".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it possible to teach the kids to drink responsible? Is you are going to do it (most teenagers do it) don't drive under any circumstances. Similarly that using protection if you are going to,have sex.

This was/is my approach with my 20 year old son. In addition to making sure he knows I will come get him under any circumstances no questions asked, I also make sure he has uber money for his out of state college. I don't think he is above the law or should drink, but he is entering his junior year of college and it's not practical or logical to just say no at this point. I don't think my son would ever drink and drive, but it's like that dateline program where the 4 years old went with the stranger who told them there was a lost puppy- all the preschool parents said "not my kid" and most the kids in the testing sample took off with the guy. Parenting a 18-21 year old inst easy, and those who haven't done it yet should hold judgement.

People who have done it should withhold judgment, too. Not "This is what I did, and it worked for my kid, so you should do it too and it will work for your kid, and if you don't it's all your fault" but rather "This is what I did, and my kid made it, which I'm grateful for".

This is great!! I too would love to hear more of what people are trying to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it possible to teach the kids to drink responsible? Is you are going to do it (most teenagers do it) don't drive under any circumstances. Similarly that using protection if you are going to,have sex.

This was/is my approach with my 20 year old son. In addition to making sure he knows I will come get him under any circumstances no questions asked, I also make sure he has uber money for his out of state college. I don't think he is above the law or should drink, but he is entering his junior year of college and it's not practical or logical to just say no at this point. I don't think my son would ever drink and drive, but it's like that dateline program where the 4 years old went with the stranger who told them there was a lost puppy- all the preschool parents said "not my kid" and most the kids in the testing sample took off with the guy. Parenting a 18-21 year old inst easy, and those who haven't done it yet should hold judgement.

Does he drink at home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it possible to teach the kids to drink responsible? Is you are going to do it (most teenagers do it) don't drive under any circumstances. Similarly that using protection if you are going to,have sex.

This was/is my approach with my 20 year old son. In addition to making sure he knows I will come get him under any circumstances no questions asked, I also make sure he has uber money for his out of state college. I don't think he is above the law or should drink, but he is entering his junior year of college and it's not practical or logical to just say no at this point. I don't think my son would ever drink and drive, but it's like that dateline program where the 4 years old went with the stranger who told them there was a lost puppy- all the preschool parents said "not my kid" and most the kids in the testing sample took off with the guy. Parenting a 18-21 year old inst easy, and those who haven't done it yet should hold judgement.

Does he drink at home?

No. He and his friends come to our house to eat and socialize (we have always been the welcoming, open kool aid house) and I always cook for them and have age appropriate munchies. We have a piano and guitars, they eat, play music, play video games then go "out." With "people." I get no more information than that, even though I am fairly close not just to my son with but with his friends as well. I ask him to text me if he is staying the night at someones home or apartment so I don't worry (which he does 90% of the time.) He has a car. I would say about 1/2 the time they go "out" with "people" he comes back home, and about 1/2 the time he rolls in about 11 AM after having already slept somewhere. He is taking summer college classes, as well as interning in a major appropriate business 3 days a week, and he has never not made Deans List, so I would classify him as a good kid. I know he has also tried Molly, and that he does drink, but never at home. He has a very wide circle of friends and is very social. I could wake up being Sam Ellis's mom someday, but any of us could. There but for the grace of god go any of our children. I'm sure Sams mother loves Sam as much as you love your child. There are no easy answers and by backing your almost adult or adult age child into a corner of compliance you aren't allowing them to become adults. We need to talk about ways to keep them safe in the real world. To be honest, though, I don't know if I would let a daughter have the freedom my son has. It's not fair, but it's a different and scarier world out there for girls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one cares about Twitter, but I do care about the next teen who'll be at a party, and drinking and driving.

What to do, folks? Nothing?

Lots of tried and true best practices out there to significantly reduce the chance of a teen drinking and driving.

What are they?

Start alcohol and drug education before age 9. And that's ongoing like sex Ed. From physical impact, to danger of binge drinking, to the danger of someone slipping something in your drink, to the danger of date rape, to the danger of drunk driving (driver, passenger, innocent pedestrian or other driver). And so on.

Delay teen drinking as long as possible. Statistically, the best way to do that is through widely-known good parenting practices - encourage child to be active in sports and other hobbies, eat dinner together, establish and maintain two-way respect, listen to your child, provide consistent, not sporadic, discipline, set clear rules and adhere to them. Model appropriate drinking. Don't get drunk. And don't leave alcohol in the house. Don't host underage parties and don't give your kids alcohol before age 21.

You, the parent, have the greatest influence over whether your child drinks or does drugs. Peer pressure is huge, but parents still rule.

Nothing is a 100% guarantee, but these practices sognficantly reduce the likelihood of underage drinking. And if you reduce that, you are reducing the risk of drinking and driving.

[Anonymous]

What's happening to Sam Ellis and the parents who hosted the party?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's happening to Sam Ellis and the parents who hosted the party?

Nothing yet.

[Anonymous]

"These tragedies will continue until we stop enabling underaged drinking."
-Montgomery County Captain Thomas Didone who had to tell one of the families their son was dead.

I hope the police captain will not be falsely accused of slander on this thread, and have his quote deleted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
"These tragedies will continue until we stop enabling underaged drinking."
-Montgomery County Captain Thomas Didone who had to tell one of the families their son was dead.

I hope the police captain will not be falsely accused of slander on this thread, and have his quote deleted.

But no matter how much we do right, how much we try our best to educate outer kids sometimes tragedy strikes.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/police-captains-traffic-safety-message-becomes-personal-after-sons-death/2012/05/30/gJQAwY3f2U_gallery.html