Defaulted into main breadwinner

[Anonymous]

A lot of freeloaders have revived this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All throughout our dating years I said I don't have much career ambition and wasn't sure if I wanted to SAH or not. My spouse said he'd make it work regardless of my choice. I made more than him then and worried/discussed is it really feasible on his income alone. I told him daycare costs school costs diapers costs. He appeared confident. Now that we have a young toddler he says SAH is no longer an option, he says we need my income to save fir retirement and buy a house. I feel a bit resentful and think he was an idiot for being confident without really crunching numbers and I'm the bigger idiot thinking his salary would increase or that it would work out (when his job is not in a lucrative field). He has wealthy parents but of course he prefers notvto be indebted to them. He says he wants to be independent. But I have to work as an attorney or something else that makes more than 60k if I switch fields.

You suck.

+1. Is your DH a prophet? Could he have predicted what he would earn? Even in a lucrative field not everyone is going to be an executive.

[Anonymous]

The #1 red flag men should always heed is when a woman says she wants to SAH to raise a child. That translates into "I don't want to work...ever."

[Anonymous]

This whole thread is insane. Mine wants me to SAH and raise our kids. Now I see what he'd think if I did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The #1 red flag men should always heed is when a woman says she wants to SAH to raise a child. That translates into "I don't want to work...ever."

+1 yep, go cautiously, especially if she doesn't have a plan to fund the time at home, apart from defaulting her DH into a walking wallet.

[Anonymous]

I just read this thread and wow. OP, if you are out there, I hope you are doing well. Fight the good fight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The #1 red flag men should always heed is when a woman says she wants to SAH to raise a child. That translates into "I don't want to work...ever."

x2

I'd never....ever...marry a woman like that.

[Anonymous]

This woman agreed to work and then decided to stay home without actually ever having a conversation with her husband about this decision she made this decision unilaterally that is not how you treat your husband or partner. Making a living and finances are part of life. simply throwing your hands up in the air and saying no thanks is the height of your responsibility and disrespect. And then this woman had the eye doctor you cannot even do a really good job at being a stay-at-home parent. Did you read the thread? This guy is coming home to a disaster of a house no dinner made and gorgeous crafts. And he spent every iota of his time on things that could be done during the day. I mean what is the point of being a stay-at-home parent when it complicates it makes the working parents life even more difficult. Yes the kids benefit from additional time with mom and yes mom benefits from additional time with kids but it comes at the sacrifice of the father who is forced to work and then do beyond and above them out of housework that someone is it should be expected to do when they work full-time and have a stay-at-home parent if you actually read the thread which I doubt you did you'd realize that The original poster is basically a freaking saint.

THIS x1000000000000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This whole thread is insane. Mine wants me to SAH and raise our kids. Now I see what he'd think if I did.

I think the trolls took over this thread a long time ago. Don't listen to what these posters are saying, theres a very obvious agenda being pushed here, one that is held by a very small group, in reality. Most people really respect and admire SAHMs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This whole thread is insane. Mine wants me to SAH and raise our kids. Now I see what he'd think if I did.

I think the trolls took over this thread a long time ago. Don't listen to what these posters are saying, theres a very obvious agenda being pushed here, one that is held by a very small group, in reality. Most people really respect and admire SAHMs.

Of course, when the hypocritical DCUM harpies get exposed as hypocrites, they're the first to cry AGENDA! AGENDA! Most men respect and admire SAHMs, at least THOSE WHO RETURN TO WORK TO SUPPORT THEIR FUCKING FAMILIES. Too many women hide their laziness and refusal to contribute financially to their families in the guise of "staying home to raise children." You'd think women who actually contribute financially to their families would shame these pieces of shit into going back to work, but NO! They circle the wagons. Pathetic.

My girlfriend is going through this right now. Her sister in law is staying home, indefinitely, to raise children. She hasn't had a job since she married her husband five years ago. She says its because he moves a lot, though they've lived in the same town for four years now (he's a military officer) and because she hasn't found the "right fit." She's got a degree, though it's in something worthless like psychology. The reality is she refuses to take instruction, refuses to play well with others and simply refuses to work. She tries to make it look like she'll go to work "eventually," she wants to start some pie in the sky bullshit children's custom clothing business (LOL), but the reality is SHE DOESN'T WANT TO WORK. And of course GF's white knight brother is COMPLETELY OK with this! Unreal.

Truth fucking hurts, ladies. I will never date any woman who insists on staying at home beyond infant years. I don't give a shit if you're "raising my children," get your ass to fucking work and contribute financially to our family or fuck off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This whole thread is insane. Mine wants me to SAH and raise our kids. Now I see what he'd think if I did.

I think the trolls took over this thread a long time ago. Don't listen to what these posters are saying, theres a very obvious agenda being pushed here, one that is held by a very small group, in reality. Most people really respect and admire SAHMs.

Of course, when the hypocritical DCUM harpies get exposed as hypocrites, they're the first to cry AGENDA! AGENDA! Most men respect and admire SAHMs, at least THOSE WHO RETURN TO WORK TO SUPPORT THEIR FUCKING FAMILIES. Too many women hide their laziness and refusal to contribute financially to their families in the guise of "staying home to raise children." You'd think women who actually contribute financially to their families would shame these pieces of shit into going back to work, but NO! They circle the wagons. Pathetic.

My girlfriend is going through this right now. Her sister in law is staying home, indefinitely, to raise children. She hasn't had a job since she married her husband five years ago. She says its because he moves a lot, though they've lived in the same town for four years now (he's a military officer) and because she hasn't found the "right fit." She's got a degree, though it's in something worthless like psychology. The reality is she refuses to take instruction, refuses to play well with others and simply refuses to work. She tries to make it look like she'll go to work "eventually," she wants to start some pie in the sky bullshit children's custom clothing business (LOL), but the reality is SHE DOESN'T WANT TO WORK. And of course GF's white knight brother is COMPLETELY OK with this! Unreal.

Truth fucking hurts, ladies. I will never date any woman who insists on staying at home beyond infant years. I don't give a shit if you're "raising my children," get your ass to fucking work and contribute financially to our family or fuck off.

PP, I'd be surprised with your attitude that anyone, even someone who liked working out of the house, would like to date you period. You seem unstable. From what I've seen in the workforce, it's a matter of pride for people to be able to say they can afford to have someone at home similar to the way they talk about private schools. We even know Indian families who have a stay at home parent and hire quite a bit of outside help as well and prides themselves on being able to afford this. There are many ways to contribute to the family verses getting an outside job. Raising a family has costs as well as managing money and a house. OP's wife doesn't seem to be contributing enough to the family and household which is just as big a problem as not wanting to work outside the home. The same goes for men who have wives with equally challenging jobs outside the home but then don't contribute to the household equally. Do you get just as mad at these men as you do at moms wanting to stay home? How about the single moms with dads who are nowhere to be seen and only contribute with a court order?

[Anonymous]

Surprise, surprise. Our culture is sexist. Some days, like today, I really wish I could time travel +500 years. That is all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This whole thread is insane. Mine wants me to SAH and raise our kids. Now I see what he'd think if I did.

I think the trolls took over this thread a long time ago. Don't listen to what these posters are saying, theres a very obvious agenda being pushed here, one that is held by a very small group, in reality. Most people really respect and admire SAHMs.

Uh, ok.

[Anonymous]

OP's wife doesn't seem to be contributing enough to the family and household which is just as big a problem as not wanting to work outside the home. The same goes for men who have wives with equally challenging jobs outside the home but then don't contribute to the household equally. Do you get just as mad at these men as you do at moms wanting to stay home? How about the single moms with dads who are nowhere to be seen and only contribute with a court order?

I think that's the point and why this thread is so crazy divisive. I think putting a SAHM not carrying her weight with these older categories of people freaks people out. And there comes the drama.

[Anonymous]

It is so shocking that people are defending someone who for all intents and purposes just tapped out of being an adult. OP's wife is basically another child with the crafts and mess and crying.

OP, you are a good guy. But let's be honest, if you don't stand up for yourself, you are just going to have another kid to support -- your wife.