Men 45+ on OLD: are they all broke?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Asking bc that has been my experience. Met multiple nice good looking men who all have enormous financial liabilities. Either they earn very little or are broke after divorce and are too old to fully recover, or earn well but have huge obligations and/or are cheap AF. It’s a pity bc I’ve really liked several of them, but need someone similarly secure and am not getting into a financial quagmire.

You only think they are broke. Men can smell a gold digger miles away. They go out of their way to make you think they are poor, have some fun, and then move on.

My friend’s brother used to act poor to weed out the gold diggers. He would purposely pick a hole in the wall first date restaurant. Some women only want to go to fancy restaurants.

Smart guy.[/quote

+1

I think some people do this with certain types of acquaintances (who like to try to count other people's pennies), if the topic arises. Some people really are preoccupied with money, to an unhealthy degree (the sob stories - plural!). If you have a lifestyle that necessitates so many expenses, then you have to find a way to make more money, even if it means getting a job in addition to a full time job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are lots of male gold diggers out there. Speaking as a woman.

I have had about 9 men (co-workers, acquaintances, 'boyfriends',' friends', business owners, ex-DH) ask for money.The reason they asked was because I always had some saved up unlike them. Some paid back nothing, some paid back half, none paid back full amount and definitely no interest. Men are bad at money. Imagine what a divorce does if half is gone and no woman to budget.
I have enough now to retire in my mid 40s. I made it once I left all those loser behind. It is harder to make it with all the leaches leaching.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are lots of male gold diggers out there. Speaking as a woman.

I have had about 9 men (co-workers, acquaintances, 'boyfriends',' friends', business owners, ex-DH) ask for money.The reason they asked was because I always had some saved up unlike them. Some paid back nothing, some paid back half, none paid back full amount and definitely no interest. Men are bad at money. Imagine what a divorce does if half is gone and no woman to budget.
I have enough now to retire in my mid 40s. I made it once I left all those loser behind. It is harder to make it with all the leaches leaching.

It is not just men who are bad at money. Some women inaccurately eye who has what and are bad with money, also.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wealthy men don’t need OLD to find a date. They are like a flame to moths.

This. Most of these men never are on OLD. The wealthy lawyer marries his secretary. The MD's marry RN's.

MDs marrying the nurses and lawyers marrying secretaries is definitely not the norm.

DH is a surgeon and we know a handful of doctors who met their PA or nurse wives when they were med students or during residency but they are few.

I know a lot of lawyers and can’t think of one who married a secretary. I do know many lawyers who married other lawyers.

Doctors married doctors. Lawyers married lawyers.

The one doctor nurse couple I’m thinking of are already retired. I think they met at UPEnn like 40 years ago. They were in college. Husband went to med school. Wife went to nursing school.

The other doctor who married a PA married a model looking PA when he was a resident. She was stunning and really nice. Yale has a PA school.

I wonder how hard it is to get into UPenn nursing or Yale PA school. It is a good place to meet a husband.

I know a ton of doctor-nurse couples my age (40s). All the doctors are male and non-white--about half are immigrants and the other half are born here but are kids of immigrants. The nurses (female) are almost always not only white but blonde. Seeing so many of these couples feels kind of weird, as if there's some sort of transaction going on.

jealous much? blond women are the most desirable of course male doctors regardless of background want them too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm cheap af, and also poor by DC standards (only $1 million in the bank and $200k income).

But the bigger problem is that I have no intention of dissipating my wealth on an over-the-hill woman.

You have no wealth to dissipate.

I nearly spat out (dissipated!) my coffee. Spot on.

What kind of gold digging losers are you guys dating when all you can think about is how much the women want you for your money?

It’s not the flex you think it is.

Right!?

This is DCUM. Everyone has 3M in liquid and 10M in the market.

Actually I have $4M in liquid and about $18M in the market and properties but I didn’t want to brag. And the women I date have no idea of my wealth. I don’t pay their way and they don’t pay mine though we do pay for each other’s dinners and other things from time to time. When we traveled to places like Mallorca, Corfu, Palawan, St Kitts, Antarctica, etc we each pay our way and split costs for any shared expenses (rooms, etc). Works well that way.

Yakis - a woman who may be making 200k/year paying for her dinners with you. It would be fair if you shared expenses pro-rats your wealth. Very few people would be comparable. It’s totally different from two mid 6-figures executives sharing expenses. You are cheap IMHO

You would never know. Too many gold diggers out there.

You can simply decline taking her to an expensive restaurant for the first date; offer a coffee/drinks. If you start seeing each other, see if she reciprocates at least gets tickets for movies/theaters. But keeping scores like you do is just sick, IMHO. Being extremely wealthy, you have your girlfriends subsidize your travel: you are a wealthy kept man/toy boy. And also bitter about women.

Not even close. We pay 50/50 for our travel so no gf subsidy. And they don’t have a clue about my wealth so no harm no foul. If I ever got the slightest hint they were a gold digger I would end the relationship.

So you are cheap as F. People at your wealth level would travel business class, stay at Ritz etc. You could have just offered her to pay in what’s fair and just have a nicer vacation. But instead you find average well-off women who pay 50% traveling “economy”. Either she has to invest much higher share of her income into posh travel at your level (which is unfair as you are extremely wealthy), or you basically travel middle class. You are a cheap wealthy gigolo

What is so great about either the Ritz or Business Class that makes it worth all the extra money?

+1. DP here. OMG when I read this PP I instantly thought os a gold digger I know in person. She wants to validate herself with expensive trips and "stuff", have bragging rights, and seeks her self worth by going to expensive places, like her rich relatives. But, she is doing nothing to earn that kind of money herself. I would tell my sons to run fast from this train wreck! Live within your means, people.

If someone with NW 18mm stays in Hampton Inn just so his date could afford paying 50% for him not to consider her a “gold digger” - that’s a man with serious hang ups about women. They consider money as self-serving prophecy even when they already have more they can spend in a lifetime. Money is just the means to get more experiences, free time, quality goods etc. I make more than my friends and if I want an experience I just invite them and pay myself.
This man lacks generosity, all about not spending an extra cent from his extremely high NW on anyone, and always keeps scores- all together unattractive qualities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wealthy men don’t need OLD to find a date. They are like a flame to moths.

This. Most of these men never are on OLD. The wealthy lawyer marries his secretary. The MD's marry RN's.

MDs marrying the nurses and lawyers marrying secretaries is definitely not the norm.

DH is a surgeon and we know a handful of doctors who met their PA or nurse wives when they were med students or during residency but they are few.

I know a lot of lawyers and can’t think of one who married a secretary. I do know many lawyers who married other lawyers.

Doctors married doctors. Lawyers married lawyers.

The one doctor nurse couple I’m thinking of are already retired. I think they met at UPEnn like 40 years ago. They were in college. Husband went to med school. Wife went to nursing school.

The other doctor who married a PA married a model looking PA when he was a resident. She was stunning and really nice. Yale has a PA school.

I wonder how hard it is to get into UPenn nursing or Yale PA school. It is a good place to meet a husband.

I know a ton of doctor-nurse couples my age (40s). All the doctors are male and non-white--about half are immigrants and the other half are born here but are kids of immigrants. The nurses (female) are almost always not only white but blonde. Seeing so many of these couples feels kind of weird, as if there's some sort of transaction going on.

jealous much? blond women are the most desirable of course male doctors regardless of background want them too.

Actually, there was a sexologists study worldwide that showed men are attracted the most to brunette women with blue eyes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wealthy men don’t need OLD to find a date. They are like a flame to moths.

This. Most of these men never are on OLD. The wealthy lawyer marries his secretary. The MD's marry RN's.

MDs marrying the nurses and lawyers marrying secretaries is definitely not the norm.

DH is a surgeon and we know a handful of doctors who met their PA or nurse wives when they were med students or during residency but they are few.

I know a lot of lawyers and can’t think of one who married a secretary. I do know many lawyers who married other lawyers.

Doctors married doctors. Lawyers married lawyers.

The one doctor nurse couple I’m thinking of are already retired. I think they met at UPEnn like 40 years ago. They were in college. Husband went to med school. Wife went to nursing school.

The other doctor who married a PA married a model looking PA when he was a resident. She was stunning and really nice. Yale has a PA school.

I wonder how hard it is to get into UPenn nursing or Yale PA school. It is a good place to meet a husband.

I know a ton of doctor-nurse couples my age (40s). All the doctors are male and non-white--about half are immigrants and the other half are born here but are kids of immigrants. The nurses (female) are almost always not only white but blonde. Seeing so many of these couples feels kind of weird, as if there's some sort of transaction going on.

jealous much? blond women are the most desirable of course male doctors regardless of background want them too.

Actually, there was a sexologists study worldwide that showed men are attracted the most to brunette women with blue eyes.

Where does one go to school to study sexology as a major? Never heard of that before!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wealthy men don’t need OLD to find a date. They are like a flame to moths.

This. Most of these men never are on OLD. The wealthy lawyer marries his secretary. The MD's marry RN's.

MDs marrying the nurses and lawyers marrying secretaries is definitely not the norm.

DH is a surgeon and we know a handful of doctors who met their PA or nurse wives when they were med students or during residency but they are few.

I know a lot of lawyers and can’t think of one who married a secretary. I do know many lawyers who married other lawyers.

Doctors married doctors. Lawyers married lawyers.

The one doctor nurse couple I’m thinking of are already retired. I think they met at UPEnn like 40 years ago. They were in college. Husband went to med school. Wife went to nursing school.

The other doctor who married a PA married a model looking PA when he was a resident. She was stunning and really nice. Yale has a PA school.

I wonder how hard it is to get into UPenn nursing or Yale PA school. It is a good place to meet a husband.

I know a ton of doctor-nurse couples my age (40s). All the doctors are male and non-white--about half are immigrants and the other half are born here but are kids of immigrants. The nurses (female) are almost always not only white but blonde. Seeing so many of these couples feels kind of weird, as if there's some sort of transaction going on.

jealous much? blond women are the most desirable of course male doctors regardless of background want them too.

Actually, there was a sexologists study worldwide that showed men are attracted the most to brunette women with blue eyes.

worldwide, vast majority of men live in places without "brunette women with blue eyes" to date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are lots of male gold diggers out there. Speaking as a woman.

I have had about 9 men (co-workers, acquaintances, 'boyfriends',' friends', business owners, ex-DH) ask for money.The reason they asked was because I always had some saved up unlike them. Some paid back nothing, some paid back half, none paid back full amount and definitely no interest. Men are bad at money. Imagine what a divorce does if half is gone and no woman to budget.
I have enough now to retire in my mid 40s. I made it once I left all those loser behind. It is harder to make it with all the leaches leaching.

Women are more likely to file for bankruptcy than men. Women are worse at money than men. My mom was awful with money. Never had a house that wasn't foreclosed, never had a credit card that wasn't taken away for non-payment, frequently had utilities turned off for non-payment when we were kids. All this despite being a high earner. Then she went bankrupt in her old age because she wasn't tracking her spending relative to her retirement savings, burned through a fortune in a few years.

That aside, I cannot imagine asking a coworker or acquaintance for money. If a coworker or acquaintance asked me for money for some reason, I would say no unless it was a relatively trivial amount, and even then you better believe I'd get in their face about asking for it back if they didn't repay me promptly.

When I was married, I paid the bills and did the budgeting. If my XW asked for money the answer would be absolutely not, and if you're dumb enough to give your XH money that's on you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm cheap af, and also poor by DC standards (only $1 million in the bank and $200k income).

But the bigger problem is that I have no intention of dissipating my wealth on an over-the-hill woman.

You have no wealth to dissipate.

I nearly spat out (dissipated!) my coffee. Spot on.

What kind of gold digging losers are you guys dating when all you can think about is how much the women want you for your money?

It’s not the flex you think it is.

Right!?

This is DCUM. Everyone has 3M in liquid and 10M in the market.

Actually I have $4M in liquid and about $18M in the market and properties but I didn’t want to brag. And the women I date have no idea of my wealth. I don’t pay their way and they don’t pay mine though we do pay for each other’s dinners and other things from time to time. When we traveled to places like Mallorca, Corfu, Palawan, St Kitts, Antarctica, etc we each pay our way and split costs for any shared expenses (rooms, etc). Works well that way.

Yakis - a woman who may be making 200k/year paying for her dinners with you. It would be fair if you shared expenses pro-rats your wealth. Very few people would be comparable. It’s totally different from two mid 6-figures executives sharing expenses. You are cheap IMHO

You would never know. Too many gold diggers out there.

You can simply decline taking her to an expensive restaurant for the first date; offer a coffee/drinks. If you start seeing each other, see if she reciprocates at least gets tickets for movies/theaters. But keeping scores like you do is just sick, IMHO. Being extremely wealthy, you have your girlfriends subsidize your travel: you are a wealthy kept man/toy boy. And also bitter about women.

Not even close. We pay 50/50 for our travel so no gf subsidy. And they don’t have a clue about my wealth so no harm no foul. If I ever got the slightest hint they were a gold digger I would end the relationship.

So you are cheap as F. People at your wealth level would travel business class, stay at Ritz etc. You could have just offered her to pay in what’s fair and just have a nicer vacation. But instead you find average well-off women who pay 50% traveling “economy”. Either she has to invest much higher share of her income into posh travel at your level (which is unfair as you are extremely wealthy), or you basically travel middle class. You are a cheap wealthy gigolo

PP here. Wait a just minute. Your rant is full of many assumptions. Who says we don’t travel well. We do travel well. Business class for the most part and mostly use miles as I have a lot of them from my business travel. And we stay in very nice accommodations. I’m certainly not cheap. But your biggest incorrect assumption is that I date people who make less than me or have a lower NW. Honestly, I can’t remember the last time I dated someone who presumably made less than me or had an apparent lower NW. But that wasn’t a requirement as I could care less what they make or their NW, but high income and NW people just happens to be the circles I hang out in socially. In fact, the 50/50 thing is better for both of us, as I don’t want them to think I’m dating them for their money and expect them to pay for everything no matter how nice it is. Don’t you feel silly now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wealthy men don’t need OLD to find a date. They are like a flame to moths.

This. Most of these men never are on OLD. The wealthy lawyer marries his secretary. The MD's marry RN's.

MDs marrying the nurses and lawyers marrying secretaries is definitely not the norm.

DH is a surgeon and we know a handful of doctors who met their PA or nurse wives when they were med students or during residency but they are few.

I know a lot of lawyers and can’t think of one who married a secretary. I do know many lawyers who married other lawyers.

Doctors married doctors. Lawyers married lawyers.

The one doctor nurse couple I’m thinking of are already retired. I think they met at UPEnn like 40 years ago. They were in college. Husband went to med school. Wife went to nursing school.

The other doctor who married a PA married a model looking PA when he was a resident. She was stunning and really nice. Yale has a PA school.

I wonder how hard it is to get into UPenn nursing or Yale PA school. It is a good place to meet a husband.

I know a ton of doctor-nurse couples my age (40s). All the doctors are male and non-white--about half are immigrants and the other half are born here but are kids of immigrants. The nurses (female) are almost always not only white but blonde. Seeing so many of these couples feels kind of weird, as if there's some sort of transaction going on.

jealous much? blond women are the most desirable of course male doctors regardless of background want them too.

Anyone can be a fake blonde silly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm cheap af, and also poor by DC standards (only $1 million in the bank and $200k income).

But the bigger problem is that I have no intention of dissipating my wealth on an over-the-hill woman.

You have no wealth to dissipate.

I nearly spat out (dissipated!) my coffee. Spot on.

What kind of gold digging losers are you guys dating when all you can think about is how much the women want you for your money?

It’s not the flex you think it is.

Right!?

This is DCUM. Everyone has 3M in liquid and 10M in the market.

Actually I have $4M in liquid and about $18M in the market and properties but I didn’t want to brag. And the women I date have no idea of my wealth. I don’t pay their way and they don’t pay mine though we do pay for each other’s dinners and other things from time to time. When we traveled to places like Mallorca, Corfu, Palawan, St Kitts, Antarctica, etc we each pay our way and split costs for any shared expenses (rooms, etc). Works well that way.

Yakis - a woman who may be making 200k/year paying for her dinners with you. It would be fair if you shared expenses pro-rats your wealth. Very few people would be comparable. It’s totally different from two mid 6-figures executives sharing expenses. You are cheap IMHO

You would never know. Too many gold diggers out there.

You can simply decline taking her to an expensive restaurant for the first date; offer a coffee/drinks. If you start seeing each other, see if she reciprocates at least gets tickets for movies/theaters. But keeping scores like you do is just sick, IMHO. Being extremely wealthy, you have your girlfriends subsidize your travel: you are a wealthy kept man/toy boy. And also bitter about women.

Not even close. We pay 50/50 for our travel so no gf subsidy. And they don’t have a clue about my wealth so no harm no foul. If I ever got the slightest hint they were a gold digger I would end the relationship.

So you are cheap as F. People at your wealth level would travel business class, stay at Ritz etc. You could have just offered her to pay in what’s fair and just have a nicer vacation. But instead you find average well-off women who pay 50% traveling “economy”. Either she has to invest much higher share of her income into posh travel at your level (which is unfair as you are extremely wealthy), or you basically travel middle class. You are a cheap wealthy gigolo

PP here. Wait a just minute. Your rant is full of many assumptions. Who says we don’t travel well. We do travel well. Business class for the most part and mostly use miles as I have a lot of them from my business travel. And we stay in very nice accommodations. I’m certainly not cheap. But your biggest incorrect assumption is that I date people who make less than me or have a lower NW. Honestly, I can’t remember the last time I dated someone who presumably made less than me or had an apparent lower NW. But that wasn’t a requirement as I could care less what they make or their NW, but high income and NW people just happens to be the circles I hang out in socially. In fact, the 50/50 thing is better for both of us, as I don’t want them to think I’m dating them for their money and expect them to pay for everything no matter how nice it is. Don’t you feel silly now.

Since number of eligible females with 18mm NW would be negligible, I call all you wrote BS

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wealthy men don’t need OLD to find a date. They are like a flame to moths.

This. Most of these men never are on OLD. The wealthy lawyer marries his secretary. The MD's marry RN's.

MDs marrying the nurses and lawyers marrying secretaries is definitely not the norm.

DH is a surgeon and we know a handful of doctors who met their PA or nurse wives when they were med students or during residency but they are few.

I know a lot of lawyers and can’t think of one who married a secretary. I do know many lawyers who married other lawyers.

Doctors married doctors. Lawyers married lawyers.

The one doctor nurse couple I’m thinking of are already retired. I think they met at UPEnn like 40 years ago. They were in college. Husband went to med school. Wife went to nursing school.

The other doctor who married a PA married a model looking PA when he was a resident. She was stunning and really nice. Yale has a PA school.

I wonder how hard it is to get into UPenn nursing or Yale PA school. It is a good place to meet a husband.

I know a ton of doctor-nurse couples my age (40s). All the doctors are male and non-white--about half are immigrants and the other half are born here but are kids of immigrants. The nurses (female) are almost always not only white but blonde. Seeing so many of these couples feels kind of weird, as if there's some sort of transaction going on.

jealous much? blond women are the most desirable of course male doctors regardless of background want them too.

The Yale surgeon/PA couple is Asian and blonde. The Asian surgeon is also very good looking. The wife looks like a model.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm cheap af, and also poor by DC standards (only $1 million in the bank and $200k income).

But the bigger problem is that I have no intention of dissipating my wealth on an over-the-hill woman.

What wealth?

At age 55 only one or two percent of the population have $1 million or more in retirement savings. Of that one or two percent, 95 percent are married.

For my $1 million, that's just what I've been able to create since a divorce 9 years ago. By the time I retire I hope it's 2-3 times larger.

Only one percent of the US population has $1 million plus in retirement savings but an astonishing 97.6% of DCUM posters have over $1 million in liquid assets, and the average poster has over $5 million and views being a mere millionaire as dire poverty. Amazing but true!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm cheap af, and also poor by DC standards (only $1 million in the bank and $200k income).

But the bigger problem is that I have no intention of dissipating my wealth on an over-the-hill woman.

What wealth?

At age 55 only one or two percent of the population have $1 million or more in retirement savings. Of that one or two percent, 95 percent are married.

For my $1 million, that's just what I've been able to create since a divorce 9 years ago. By the time I retire I hope it's 2-3 times larger.

Only one percent of the US population has $1 million plus in retirement savings but an astonishing 97.6% of DCUM posters have over $1 million in liquid assets, and the average poster has over $5 million and views being a mere millionaire as dire poverty. Amazing but true!

DCUM caters to UMC people. Seems like a lot of lawyers, doctors and techies on this site. Mostly people with kids in DMV privates, Arlington, Bethesda, McLean, etc.