$80k In Debt Worth It for Ivy Undergrad?

[Anonymous]

I can chip in $200 if you set up a gofundme account.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, which state if your home state? And what is your preferred job - what would you love to do if money wasn't an issue?

I think I've already mentioned I'm from California.

I always said that if I had a trust fund I'd try to make it as a novelist or become some sort of community organizer or maybe an environmental educator. I know a wealthy Columbia grad who currently works in the Rockies leading middle school classes on environmental science (while taking them on adventure trips in nature), and I have to hide my jealousy of her.

But these are not exactly careers that easily translate into higher-paying alternatives. I guess there's technical writing or working at a non-profit, but at this point, those seem unappealing.

I think you need to start getting your head around the idea that most work is unappealing. There are a small handful of people who love what they do and never work a day in their life. But even novelists have to actually sit down and write their novels, even on the days they don't feel like it.

What you need to find is a job you can tolerate, basically. A schedule, workload, and tasks that aren't going to make you feel crazy or bad. It's easier said than done but I think at this stage you'd be better off looking for than than agonizing over whether to finish college. (Yes, you should finish. You'll bang out those $80k and be able to stop thinking about this.)

Do you like working a regular schedule? Do you have the stamina for a high intensity job or are you going to do better at a more laid back job? Do you like working from home, or in an office, or some combo of both? How much $ do you need to make to give yourself a decent life that you will enjoy (outside of what your parents want)? Do you need to be doing something with social good or are you just fine being in the for-profit sector? Do you care if people are impressed with what you do or is that not important to you? Etc.

Another question: Do you like jobs that are essentially done solo by yourself at a computer, or do you want to be interacting with customers, sources, clients, or coworkers a lot? Do you want to be at a computer most of the time or do you want a more active job? Are you looking to experiment with different jobs or are you trying to find yourself a spot where you can settle into a career, right away?

You're getting to the point you need to stop thinking about college and start thinking about the life you want for yourself after college.

OP here. You are right that most work is unappealing. But at this point, I'm way too mentally ill/suicidal to hack it at a job that pays the bills but is unappealing. Idk, for once in my life, I'd like to have some control or autonomy or do something pleasant. I'm too depressed to not do something I enjoy but pays the bills.

The questions you're asking are important, and the last one especially stands out to me. I would love to experiment with different jobs, but I have to settle into a career right away. And that career probably won't check off most of my other boxes in terms of the question you asked, since I'll have to take the highest-paying job available to me after graduation regardless of whether or not it suits me. This is because I'm about to take out $80k in loans, most of which will have high interest rates and little to no protections as most of the amount will be from private lenders. If I don't want to default on them, I'll have to take a high-paying job that will be WAY too intense for my tastes.

OP - honestly if things are as bad as you keep saying you may be eligible for disability. I have a friend who is on disability due to depression and BPD. It's not easy to get - she had to go through a long process, with appeals - but it makes her life more tolerable. She also has a spouse with a decent job - he fixes trucks; he's not some Wall Street-er - but I would really, really recommend trying to find friends/partners who you feel safe with, too.

You've talked yourself into this deep hole. I hope your therapist can help you understand that objectively your situation is not as terrible or doomed as it feels.

I think taking out $80k in mostly predatory private student loan lenders is terrible.

They will be gone in 10 years. You're not cutting off your arm forever. Or don't do it and enroll at a cheaper school! But you will have some loans coming out, so just build that into your plans and understanding of what you will be doing for the next 10 years.

I paid off $160k in loans over 20 years while working mainly as a writer, and not some fancy highly paid writer either. Not recommended! But trust me if I can do this you can do it.

^ And just to add - my best friend paid off something like $100k in loans while working as a social worker. There are a lot of people paying off a lot of loans out there. We're not all investment bankers. Sure it's harder when you make less! But this is life, man! You have to stop blaming your parents and stop feeling like there's one thing for you to do and everything else is impossible. At some point you have to act! Or apply for disability. I really do think that is something you should consider if things are as bad as you keep saying (and I am not doubting your account of your life, but the things you keep saying about how life is after college just don't comport with what most of us have actually experienced - you have a very theoretical understanding of life!).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, which state if your home state? And what is your preferred job - what would you love to do if money wasn't an issue?

I think I've already mentioned I'm from California.

I always said that if I had a trust fund I'd try to make it as a novelist or become some sort of community organizer or maybe an environmental educator. I know a wealthy Columbia grad who currently works in the Rockies leading middle school classes on environmental science (while taking them on adventure trips in nature), and I have to hide my jealousy of her.

But these are not exactly careers that easily translate into higher-paying alternatives. I guess there's technical writing or working at a non-profit, but at this point, those seem unappealing.

I think you need to start getting your head around the idea that most work is unappealing. There are a small handful of people who love what they do and never work a day in their life. But even novelists have to actually sit down and write their novels, even on the days they don't feel like it.

What you need to find is a job you can tolerate, basically. A schedule, workload, and tasks that aren't going to make you feel crazy or bad. It's easier said than done but I think at this stage you'd be better off looking for than than agonizing over whether to finish college. (Yes, you should finish. You'll bang out those $80k and be able to stop thinking about this.)

Do you like working a regular schedule? Do you have the stamina for a high intensity job or are you going to do better at a more laid back job? Do you like working from home, or in an office, or some combo of both? How much $ do you need to make to give yourself a decent life that you will enjoy (outside of what your parents want)? Do you need to be doing something with social good or are you just fine being in the for-profit sector? Do you care if people are impressed with what you do or is that not important to you? Etc.

Another question: Do you like jobs that are essentially done solo by yourself at a computer, or do you want to be interacting with customers, sources, clients, or coworkers a lot? Do you want to be at a computer most of the time or do you want a more active job? Are you looking to experiment with different jobs or are you trying to find yourself a spot where you can settle into a career, right away?

You're getting to the point you need to stop thinking about college and start thinking about the life you want for yourself after college.

OP here. You are right that most work is unappealing. But at this point, I'm way too mentally ill/suicidal to hack it at a job that pays the bills but is unappealing. Idk, for once in my life, I'd like to have some control or autonomy or do something pleasant. I'm too depressed to not do something I enjoy but pays the bills.

The questions you're asking are important, and the last one especially stands out to me. I would love to experiment with different jobs, but I have to settle into a career right away. And that career probably won't check off most of my other boxes in terms of the question you asked, since I'll have to take the highest-paying job available to me after graduation regardless of whether or not it suits me. This is because I'm about to take out $80k in loans, most of which will have high interest rates and little to no protections as most of the amount will be from private lenders. If I don't want to default on them, I'll have to take a high-paying job that will be WAY too intense for my tastes.

OP - honestly if things are as bad as you keep saying you may be eligible for disability. I have a friend who is on disability due to depression and BPD. It's not easy to get - she had to go through a long process, with appeals - but it makes her life more tolerable. She also has a spouse with a decent job - he fixes trucks; he's not some Wall Street-er - but I would really, really recommend trying to find friends/partners who you feel safe with, too.

You've talked yourself into this deep hole. I hope your therapist can help you understand that objectively your situation is not as terrible or doomed as it feels.

I think taking out $80k in mostly predatory private student loan lenders is terrible.

They will be gone in 10 years. You're not cutting off your arm forever. Or don't do it and enroll at a cheaper school! But you will have some loans coming out, so just build that into your plans and understanding of what you will be doing for the next 10 years.

I paid off $160k in loans over 20 years while working mainly as a writer, and not some fancy highly paid writer either. Not recommended! But trust me if I can do this you can do it.

^ And just to add - my best friend paid off something like $100k in loans while working as a social worker. There are a lot of people paying off a lot of loans out there. We're not all investment bankers. Sure it's harder when you make less! But this is life, man! You have to stop blaming your parents and stop feeling like there's one thing for you to do and everything else is impossible. At some point you have to act! Or apply for disability. I really do think that is something you should consider if things are as bad as you keep saying (and I am not doubting your account of your life, but the things you keep saying about how life is after college just don't comport with what most of us have actually experienced - you have a very theoretical understanding of life!).

I will most likely be graduating into a recession. Taking out $80k in loans for an English degree is objectively an ill-advised decision. What would the Columbia Class of 2008 have to say about my situation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, which state if your home state? And what is your preferred job - what would you love to do if money wasn't an issue?

I think I've already mentioned I'm from California.

I always said that if I had a trust fund I'd try to make it as a novelist or become some sort of community organizer or maybe an environmental educator. I know a wealthy Columbia grad who currently works in the Rockies leading middle school classes on environmental science (while taking them on adventure trips in nature), and I have to hide my jealousy of her.

But these are not exactly careers that easily translate into higher-paying alternatives. I guess there's technical writing or working at a non-profit, but at this point, those seem unappealing.

I think you need to start getting your head around the idea that most work is unappealing. There are a small handful of people who love what they do and never work a day in their life. But even novelists have to actually sit down and write their novels, even on the days they don't feel like it.

What you need to find is a job you can tolerate, basically. A schedule, workload, and tasks that aren't going to make you feel crazy or bad. It's easier said than done but I think at this stage you'd be better off looking for than than agonizing over whether to finish college. (Yes, you should finish. You'll bang out those $80k and be able to stop thinking about this.)

Do you like working a regular schedule? Do you have the stamina for a high intensity job or are you going to do better at a more laid back job? Do you like working from home, or in an office, or some combo of both? How much $ do you need to make to give yourself a decent life that you will enjoy (outside of what your parents want)? Do you need to be doing something with social good or are you just fine being in the for-profit sector? Do you care if people are impressed with what you do or is that not important to you? Etc.

Another question: Do you like jobs that are essentially done solo by yourself at a computer, or do you want to be interacting with customers, sources, clients, or coworkers a lot? Do you want to be at a computer most of the time or do you want a more active job? Are you looking to experiment with different jobs or are you trying to find yourself a spot where you can settle into a career, right away?

You're getting to the point you need to stop thinking about college and start thinking about the life you want for yourself after college.

OP here. You are right that most work is unappealing. But at this point, I'm way too mentally ill/suicidal to hack it at a job that pays the bills but is unappealing. Idk, for once in my life, I'd like to have some control or autonomy or do something pleasant. I'm too depressed to not do something I enjoy but pays the bills.

The questions you're asking are important, and the last one especially stands out to me. I would love to experiment with different jobs, but I have to settle into a career right away. And that career probably won't check off most of my other boxes in terms of the question you asked, since I'll have to take the highest-paying job available to me after graduation regardless of whether or not it suits me. This is because I'm about to take out $80k in loans, most of which will have high interest rates and little to no protections as most of the amount will be from private lenders. If I don't want to default on them, I'll have to take a high-paying job that will be WAY too intense for my tastes.

OP - honestly if things are as bad as you keep saying you may be eligible for disability. I have a friend who is on disability due to depression and BPD. It's not easy to get - she had to go through a long process, with appeals - but it makes her life more tolerable. She also has a spouse with a decent job - he fixes trucks; he's not some Wall Street-er - but I would really, really recommend trying to find friends/partners who you feel safe with, too.

You've talked yourself into this deep hole. I hope your therapist can help you understand that objectively your situation is not as terrible or doomed as it feels.

I think taking out $80k in mostly predatory private student loan lenders is terrible.

They will be gone in 10 years. You're not cutting off your arm forever. Or don't do it and enroll at a cheaper school! But you will have some loans coming out, so just build that into your plans and understanding of what you will be doing for the next 10 years.

I paid off $160k in loans over 20 years while working mainly as a writer, and not some fancy highly paid writer either. Not recommended! But trust me if I can do this you can do it.

^ And just to add - my best friend paid off something like $100k in loans while working as a social worker. There are a lot of people paying off a lot of loans out there. We're not all investment bankers. Sure it's harder when you make less! But this is life, man! You have to stop blaming your parents and stop feeling like there's one thing for you to do and everything else is impossible. At some point you have to act! Or apply for disability. I really do think that is something you should consider if things are as bad as you keep saying (and I am not doubting your account of your life, but the things you keep saying about how life is after college just don't comport with what most of us have actually experienced - you have a very theoretical understanding of life!).

I will most likely be graduating into a recession. Taking out $80k in loans for an English degree is objectively an ill-advised decision. What would the Columbia Class of 2008 have to say about my situation?

No one can give you the certainty you are looking for, OP. In life you take the best path you see out of the options you've got or can make. You mitigate against risk as best you can. You try to find the thing that will feed you and won't kill your soul, and will give you time for the other things you care about. Your wheels are spinning so hard and fast that you're paralyzed into inaction. At some point, you just pick something and try it - and then do your best with what happens next.

We're all facing some economic uncertainty ahead/ But right now it's a great job market still. Try to make the most of that while you can, to experiment with what you might actually like doing.

Or just keep telling us how you and you alone are totally f*ed! Certainly none of the rest of us have ever lived through a recession, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, which state if your home state? And what is your preferred job - what would you love to do if money wasn't an issue?

I think I've already mentioned I'm from California.

I always said that if I had a trust fund I'd try to make it as a novelist or become some sort of community organizer or maybe an environmental educator. I know a wealthy Columbia grad who currently works in the Rockies leading middle school classes on environmental science (while taking them on adventure trips in nature), and I have to hide my jealousy of her.

But these are not exactly careers that easily translate into higher-paying alternatives. I guess there's technical writing or working at a non-profit, but at this point, those seem unappealing.

I think you need to start getting your head around the idea that most work is unappealing. There are a small handful of people who love what they do and never work a day in their life. But even novelists have to actually sit down and write their novels, even on the days they don't feel like it.

What you need to find is a job you can tolerate, basically. A schedule, workload, and tasks that aren't going to make you feel crazy or bad. It's easier said than done but I think at this stage you'd be better off looking for than than agonizing over whether to finish college. (Yes, you should finish. You'll bang out those $80k and be able to stop thinking about this.)

Do you like working a regular schedule? Do you have the stamina for a high intensity job or are you going to do better at a more laid back job? Do you like working from home, or in an office, or some combo of both? How much $ do you need to make to give yourself a decent life that you will enjoy (outside of what your parents want)? Do you need to be doing something with social good or are you just fine being in the for-profit sector? Do you care if people are impressed with what you do or is that not important to you? Etc.

Another question: Do you like jobs that are essentially done solo by yourself at a computer, or do you want to be interacting with customers, sources, clients, or coworkers a lot? Do you want to be at a computer most of the time or do you want a more active job? Are you looking to experiment with different jobs or are you trying to find yourself a spot where you can settle into a career, right away?

You're getting to the point you need to stop thinking about college and start thinking about the life you want for yourself after college.

OP here. You are right that most work is unappealing. But at this point, I'm way too mentally ill/suicidal to hack it at a job that pays the bills but is unappealing. Idk, for once in my life, I'd like to have some control or autonomy or do something pleasant. I'm too depressed to not do something I enjoy but pays the bills.

The questions you're asking are important, and the last one especially stands out to me. I would love to experiment with different jobs, but I have to settle into a career right away. And that career probably won't check off most of my other boxes in terms of the question you asked, since I'll have to take the highest-paying job available to me after graduation regardless of whether or not it suits me. This is because I'm about to take out $80k in loans, most of which will have high interest rates and little to no protections as most of the amount will be from private lenders. If I don't want to default on them, I'll have to take a high-paying job that will be WAY too intense for my tastes.

OP - honestly if things are as bad as you keep saying you may be eligible for disability. I have a friend who is on disability due to depression and BPD. It's not easy to get - she had to go through a long process, with appeals - but it makes her life more tolerable. She also has a spouse with a decent job - he fixes trucks; he's not some Wall Street-er - but I would really, really recommend trying to find friends/partners who you feel safe with, too.

You've talked yourself into this deep hole. I hope your therapist can help you understand that objectively your situation is not as terrible or doomed as it feels.

I think taking out $80k in mostly predatory private student loan lenders is terrible.

They will be gone in 10 years. You're not cutting off your arm forever. Or don't do it and enroll at a cheaper school! But you will have some loans coming out, so just build that into your plans and understanding of what you will be doing for the next 10 years.

I paid off $160k in loans over 20 years while working mainly as a writer, and not some fancy highly paid writer either. Not recommended! But trust me if I can do this you can do it.

^ And just to add - my best friend paid off something like $100k in loans while working as a social worker. There are a lot of people paying off a lot of loans out there. We're not all investment bankers. Sure it's harder when you make less! But this is life, man! You have to stop blaming your parents and stop feeling like there's one thing for you to do and everything else is impossible. At some point you have to act! Or apply for disability. I really do think that is something you should consider if things are as bad as you keep saying (and I am not doubting your account of your life, but the things you keep saying about how life is after college just don't comport with what most of us have actually experienced - you have a very theoretical understanding of life!).

I will most likely be graduating into a recession. Taking out $80k in loans for an English degree is objectively an ill-advised decision. What would the Columbia Class of 2008 have to say about my situation?

MY colleague was an 08 Columbian, she went to big 4 (not MBB), did her grinding there and found a compliance job at a Canadian bank (nothing glamourous in finance), still cruising at a manager level after 15 years. You are stuck in the college era and dedicating all of your planning and future around getting a degree from 7 sisters without debt, but in fact, college is a very small fraction of your life. At this point it's time to move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, which state if your home state? And what is your preferred job - what would you love to do if money wasn't an issue?

I think I've already mentioned I'm from California.

I always said that if I had a trust fund I'd try to make it as a novelist or become some sort of community organizer or maybe an environmental educator. I know a wealthy Columbia grad who currently works in the Rockies leading middle school classes on environmental science (while taking them on adventure trips in nature), and I have to hide my jealousy of her.

But these are not exactly careers that easily translate into higher-paying alternatives. I guess there's technical writing or working at a non-profit, but at this point, those seem unappealing.

I think you need to start getting your head around the idea that most work is unappealing. There are a small handful of people who love what they do and never work a day in their life. But even novelists have to actually sit down and write their novels, even on the days they don't feel like it.

What you need to find is a job you can tolerate, basically. A schedule, workload, and tasks that aren't going to make you feel crazy or bad. It's easier said than done but I think at this stage you'd be better off looking for than than agonizing over whether to finish college. (Yes, you should finish. You'll bang out those $80k and be able to stop thinking about this.)

Do you like working a regular schedule? Do you have the stamina for a high intensity job or are you going to do better at a more laid back job? Do you like working from home, or in an office, or some combo of both? How much $ do you need to make to give yourself a decent life that you will enjoy (outside of what your parents want)? Do you need to be doing something with social good or are you just fine being in the for-profit sector? Do you care if people are impressed with what you do or is that not important to you? Etc.

Another question: Do you like jobs that are essentially done solo by yourself at a computer, or do you want to be interacting with customers, sources, clients, or coworkers a lot? Do you want to be at a computer most of the time or do you want a more active job? Are you looking to experiment with different jobs or are you trying to find yourself a spot where you can settle into a career, right away?

You're getting to the point you need to stop thinking about college and start thinking about the life you want for yourself after college.

OP here. You are right that most work is unappealing. But at this point, I'm way too mentally ill/suicidal to hack it at a job that pays the bills but is unappealing. Idk, for once in my life, I'd like to have some control or autonomy or do something pleasant. I'm too depressed to not do something I enjoy but pays the bills.

The questions you're asking are important, and the last one especially stands out to me. I would love to experiment with different jobs, but I have to settle into a career right away. And that career probably won't check off most of my other boxes in terms of the question you asked, since I'll have to take the highest-paying job available to me after graduation regardless of whether or not it suits me. This is because I'm about to take out $80k in loans, most of which will have high interest rates and little to no protections as most of the amount will be from private lenders. If I don't want to default on them, I'll have to take a high-paying job that will be WAY too intense for my tastes.

OP - honestly if things are as bad as you keep saying you may be eligible for disability. I have a friend who is on disability due to depression and BPD. It's not easy to get - she had to go through a long process, with appeals - but it makes her life more tolerable. She also has a spouse with a decent job - he fixes trucks; he's not some Wall Street-er - but I would really, really recommend trying to find friends/partners who you feel safe with, too.

You've talked yourself into this deep hole. I hope your therapist can help you understand that objectively your situation is not as terrible or doomed as it feels.

I think taking out $80k in mostly predatory private student loan lenders is terrible.

They will be gone in 10 years. You're not cutting off your arm forever. Or don't do it and enroll at a cheaper school! But you will have some loans coming out, so just build that into your plans and understanding of what you will be doing for the next 10 years.

I paid off $160k in loans over 20 years while working mainly as a writer, and not some fancy highly paid writer either. Not recommended! But trust me if I can do this you can do it.

^ And just to add - my best friend paid off something like $100k in loans while working as a social worker. There are a lot of people paying off a lot of loans out there. We're not all investment bankers. Sure it's harder when you make less! But this is life, man! You have to stop blaming your parents and stop feeling like there's one thing for you to do and everything else is impossible. At some point you have to act! Or apply for disability. I really do think that is something you should consider if things are as bad as you keep saying (and I am not doubting your account of your life, but the things you keep saying about how life is after college just don't comport with what most of us have actually experienced - you have a very theoretical understanding of life!).

I will most likely be graduating into a recession. Taking out $80k in loans for an English degree is objectively an ill-advised decision. What would the Columbia Class of 2008 have to say about my situation?

HYP ‘08 grad. Dropping out would be a monumentally stupid decision. 80K is nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, which state if your home state? And what is your preferred job - what would you love to do if money wasn't an issue?

I think I've already mentioned I'm from California.

I always said that if I had a trust fund I'd try to make it as a novelist or become some sort of community organizer or maybe an environmental educator. I know a wealthy Columbia grad who currently works in the Rockies leading middle school classes on environmental science (while taking them on adventure trips in nature), and I have to hide my jealousy of her.

But these are not exactly careers that easily translate into higher-paying alternatives. I guess there's technical writing or working at a non-profit, but at this point, those seem unappealing.

I think you need to start getting your head around the idea that most work is unappealing. There are a small handful of people who love what they do and never work a day in their life. But even novelists have to actually sit down and write their novels, even on the days they don't feel like it.

What you need to find is a job you can tolerate, basically. A schedule, workload, and tasks that aren't going to make you feel crazy or bad. It's easier said than done but I think at this stage you'd be better off looking for than than agonizing over whether to finish college. (Yes, you should finish. You'll bang out those $80k and be able to stop thinking about this.)

Do you like working a regular schedule? Do you have the stamina for a high intensity job or are you going to do better at a more laid back job? Do you like working from home, or in an office, or some combo of both? How much $ do you need to make to give yourself a decent life that you will enjoy (outside of what your parents want)? Do you need to be doing something with social good or are you just fine being in the for-profit sector? Do you care if people are impressed with what you do or is that not important to you? Etc.

Another question: Do you like jobs that are essentially done solo by yourself at a computer, or do you want to be interacting with customers, sources, clients, or coworkers a lot? Do you want to be at a computer most of the time or do you want a more active job? Are you looking to experiment with different jobs or are you trying to find yourself a spot where you can settle into a career, right away?

You're getting to the point you need to stop thinking about college and start thinking about the life you want for yourself after college.

OP here. You are right that most work is unappealing. But at this point, I'm way too mentally ill/suicidal to hack it at a job that pays the bills but is unappealing. Idk, for once in my life, I'd like to have some control or autonomy or do something pleasant. I'm too depressed to not do something I enjoy but pays the bills.

The questions you're asking are important, and the last one especially stands out to me. I would love to experiment with different jobs, but I have to settle into a career right away. And that career probably won't check off most of my other boxes in terms of the question you asked, since I'll have to take the highest-paying job available to me after graduation regardless of whether or not it suits me. This is because I'm about to take out $80k in loans, most of which will have high interest rates and little to no protections as most of the amount will be from private lenders. If I don't want to default on them, I'll have to take a high-paying job that will be WAY too intense for my tastes.

OP - honestly if things are as bad as you keep saying you may be eligible for disability. I have a friend who is on disability due to depression and BPD. It's not easy to get - she had to go through a long process, with appeals - but it makes her life more tolerable. She also has a spouse with a decent job - he fixes trucks; he's not some Wall Street-er - but I would really, really recommend trying to find friends/partners who you feel safe with, too.

You've talked yourself into this deep hole. I hope your therapist can help you understand that objectively your situation is not as terrible or doomed as it feels.

I think taking out $80k in mostly predatory private student loan lenders is terrible.

They will be gone in 10 years. You're not cutting off your arm forever. Or don't do it and enroll at a cheaper school! But you will have some loans coming out, so just build that into your plans and understanding of what you will be doing for the next 10 years.

I paid off $160k in loans over 20 years while working mainly as a writer, and not some fancy highly paid writer either. Not recommended! But trust me if I can do this you can do it.

^ And just to add - my best friend paid off something like $100k in loans while working as a social worker. There are a lot of people paying off a lot of loans out there. We're not all investment bankers. Sure it's harder when you make less! But this is life, man! You have to stop blaming your parents and stop feeling like there's one thing for you to do and everything else is impossible. At some point you have to act! Or apply for disability. I really do think that is something you should consider if things are as bad as you keep saying (and I am not doubting your account of your life, but the things you keep saying about how life is after college just don't comport with what most of us have actually experienced - you have a very theoretical understanding of life!).

I will most likely be graduating into a recession. Taking out $80k in loans for an English degree is objectively an ill-advised decision. What would the Columbia Class of 2008 have to say about my situation?

HYP ‘08 grad. Dropping out would be a monumentally stupid decision. 80K is nothing.

I graduated from a "lower" Ivy (Cornell, Brown, Dartmouth), and I don't necessarily think dropping out is a bad decision. $80k is a lot for a humanities major, and for someone as depressed as OP, I think taking them out would be unwise.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I have decided that I'll commit suicide in the near future (or at least sometime before I have to make this decision). My life will never be mine. Some people aren't meant to have meaningful or fulfilling lives.

[Anonymous]

OP. Please don't think this way. Are there any family members you can talk to...aunts, uncles, who maybe your parents will listen to. Do you have any best friends that you can talk to ? Do they really know the pain you are in?

I promise you, there are people who understand. Please call the suicide hotline and talk to somebody. Things will get better! They will.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I have decided that I'll commit suicide in the near future (or at least sometime before I have to make this decision). My life will never be mine. Some people aren't meant to have meaningful or fulfilling lives.

Then might as well take out the 80k.
Lenders don’t pursue dead people for repayment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I have decided that I'll commit suicide in the near future (or at least sometime before I have to make this decision). My life will never be mine. Some people aren't meant to have meaningful or fulfilling lives.

Then might as well take out the 80k.
Lenders don’t pursue dead people for repayment.

They'll pursue my parents after I'm dead since they would've co-signed the $80k. But it won't matter, since I'll commit suicide before I take out that much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I have decided that I'll commit suicide in the near future (or at least sometime before I have to make this decision). My life will never be mine. Some people aren't meant to have meaningful or fulfilling lives.

That’s not true - that your life will never be yours. Posters here just think getting the degree is far more likely to result in your independence and future happiness.

[Anonymous]

If this is OP saying that and not just another sad poster, please don't. I know it seems tough and hopeless, and I can't pretend to know what you're going through, but it's not worth dying over. Worst comes to worst, you can disown your family. Live in a firewatch tower. Don't need a degree for that one. Then if you decide you regret your decision, you're around to change it.

If you do take out the loans, you WILL get out from under it. It's a shitty way to start your independent life, but it's not an uncommon way. Every year nearly a million people graduate from med school. Their debt (while less predatory) is in the hundreds of thousands. Same for lawyers. Don't even get me started on veterinarians (they probably won't even make as much as you could). And hell, Biden might even forgive a solid chunk of it. If it does become too much, abscond to Europe. I know the co-signing makes that tougher, but it is a nuclear option that doesn't involve you dying. Not entirely sure about how private student loans work, but if you're delinquent long enough, they may just try to recoup a smaller amount.

And don't try and game out your whole future. 5 years ago I thought I'd be a PhD student accruing more and more debt (I was already at 50k). But now I've got a comfortable government job and a huge dent in my loans because of a giant pandemic stopping interest from accruing. So it's good that your planning ahead, but know that these dead ends you're seeing might not be dead ends after all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I have decided that I'll commit suicide in the near future (or at least sometime before I have to make this decision). My life will never be mine. Some people aren't meant to have meaningful or fulfilling lives.

Hey OP, I was you. I couldn't decide what I wanted to major in and I just felt so hopeless. Originally I thought I liked math and sciences but almost failed college chemistry. I switched my major 4 times and then decided to drop out because I didn't have the money not to have a plan. I was so depressed and had no idea what I was going to do, I just knew college wasn't the place for me. I honestly thought I was a failure and that life was never going to get better. When I told my parents I was dropping out, they absolutely freaked out and basically said I was on my own.

Not having the money to get my own place, I took a child and infant first aid and CPR class and then started interviewing for live-in nanny positions. I got a job with a wonderful family in the midwest and it was the best decision I could have made. The parents were so positive and supportive and treated me like their own daughter. While taking care of the kids was challenging at times, it got me out of my head and forced me to be active and gave me my confidence back. Seeing the kids get excited about the outings and activities I planned for them was such a rewarding experience and my depression honestly just went away. I had no living expenses and was able to save everything I made. Saving this money also helped with my depression because it made me feel like I was getting control of my life again, I felt like I had options and became excited about the future. Then I met my now husband (he worked for the family I nannied for) and dating him also gave me more confidence and made me feel good about myself. I barely talked to my family during that time (they thought I was throwing my life away), but not talking to them allowed me to stop worrying about what they thought of me and that was also really good for my mental health.

I'm not saying I have all the answers for you, but you are obviously in a dark place right now, and in my experience making a major life change is sometimes what is needed to get you excited about life again. You are so young and have so many options. Forget about school for the moment. Life can change so quickly, you just need to take some chances and get yourself excited about living again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I have decided that I'll commit suicide in the near future (or at least sometime before I have to make this decision). My life will never be mine. Some people aren't meant to have meaningful or fulfilling lives.

Hey OP, I was you. I couldn't decide what I wanted to major in and I just felt so hopeless. Originally I thought I liked math and sciences but almost failed college chemistry. I switched my major 4 times and then decided to drop out because I didn't have the money not to have a plan. I was so depressed and had no idea what I was going to do, I just knew college wasn't the place for me. I honestly thought I was a failure and that life was never going to get better. When I told my parents I was dropping out, they absolutely freaked out and basically said I was on my own.

Not having the money to get my own place, I took a child and infant first aid and CPR class and then started interviewing for live-in nanny positions. I got a job with a wonderful family in the midwest and it was the best decision I could have made. The parents were so positive and supportive and treated me like their own daughter. While taking care of the kids was challenging at times, it got me out of my head and forced me to be active and gave me my confidence back. Seeing the kids get excited about the outings and activities I planned for them was such a rewarding experience and my depression honestly just went away. I had no living expenses and was able to save everything I made. Saving this money also helped with my depression because it made me feel like I was getting control of my life again, I felt like I had options and became excited about the future. Then I met my now husband (he worked for the family I nannied for) and dating him also gave me more confidence and made me feel good about myself. I barely talked to my family during that time (they thought I was throwing my life away), but not talking to them allowed me to stop worrying about what they thought of me and that was also really good for my mental health.

I'm not saying I have all the answers for you, but you are obviously in a dark place right now, and in my experience making a major life change is sometimes what is needed to get you excited about life again. You are so young and have so many options. Forget about school for the moment. Life can change so quickly, you just need to take some chances and get yourself excited about living again.

OP is Asian, likely never interacted with young children before in babysitting capacity.
She will probably get even more depressed after seeing the kids hate her.