My heart breaks for my kids because I didn't give them a great dad

[Anonymous]

Today is my kids Christmas show at school. They are 5 and 7. They woke up at 6, so excited. The 7 year old has a special part, that he earned for improving his sometimes troubled behavior. He is very proud. My 7 year old son couldn't wait to put on his jacket and first big kid real tie. They got all dressed, and then at 6:30 he nudged dad in bed to help him tie it. Dad yelled and said it was too early to get up. Son was so sad. I reassured him daddy would help him as soon as he got up. Around 7:30 I found DS in the office. He had googled how to tie a tie and was watching a you tube video, trying so hard to get it tied. I think my heart broke in a million pieces seeing him. I helped him and we got it done.
Obviously, this is just one example in my life of a husband who can't be bothered. And I am 8 months pregnant. I just feel so sad for them.

[Anonymous]

Your son woke up his dad too early and got fussed at. Am I missing something?

[Anonymous]

You've known for years (Since your kids are both school age) that your DH sucks as a father, but you're 8 months pregnant?!!! Sorry, but this stood out the most to me. A bad father gets rewarded with another kid. You knew his history, why have another child with him?

[Anonymous]

Why did you get pregnant again?

[Anonymous]

Okay, they have a dad whose affect is a little flat, and a mother whose life is lived at the fever pitch of an opera. Things will even out.

[Anonymous]

you sound histrionic and melodramatic, OP.

6:30 IS too goddamned early.

[Anonymous]

Did you tell your husband about this? If so, how did he react? A lot of us are not at our best when we are awakened before we are ready. I would read more into his reaction when you tell him about this incident. A good father would be remorseful and explain and apologize to his DS. A bad father would not care and justify his behavior.

[Anonymous]

Come now, 6:30 is early only if you have no commute and no children. It was a lapse on this part. Did he not realize what a big deal this was to his son? And if he didn't, why doesn't he know this?

Of course, morning grump is expected from people who are regular morning grumps. If that's the case here, its a minor personal flaw and OP shouldn't be so upset.

Presumably, though, he's like this across the board?

[Anonymous]

Well OP sounds like a drama queen and her husband sounds like he's not an early morning person. Or OP is just an idiot because her husband really is a jerk and she decided to get pregnant again. I have zero sympathy for women like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Come now, 6:30 is early only if you have no commute and no children. It was a lapse on this part. Did he not realize what a big deal this was to his son? And if he didn't, why doesn't he know this?

Of course, morning grump is expected from people who are regular morning grumps. If that's the case here, its a minor personal flaw and OP shouldn't be so upset.

Presumably, though, he's like this across the board?

If he's like this across the board I only have sympathy for the children and the new baby. What idiot gets pregnant again by someone who she says is a great dad?

[Anonymous]

If you can tie a tie at 6:30 a.m. without coffee, my hat is off to you.

[Anonymous]

She's entitled to feel sad over this. Jeez, her son is SEVEN. I bet a lot of you wouldn't flinch if your cat or dog demanded your attention at the same hour. I doubt the first thing her kid considered was the time of day. He just wanted his Dad to help him out. Sure, maybe she should have thought twice about having another kid but how many of us have 2, 3, 4 siblings and imperfect parents who still could use some counseling even after 30+ years of marriage???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She's entitled to feel sad over this. Jeez, her son is SEVEN. I bet a lot of you wouldn't flinch if your cat or dog demanded your attention at the same hour. I doubt the first thing her kid considered was the time of day. He just wanted his Dad to help him out. Sure, maybe she should have thought twice about having another kid but how many of us have 2, 3, 4 siblings and imperfect parents who still could use some counseling even after 30+ years of marriage???

Yes, it's a little sad; however, it doesn't make her husband a not great dad. It seems strange to use such an example to support the point.

[Anonymous]

Wow, this is a little melodramatic, no? I was thinking this was going to be something actually serious.

I could totally see my husband doing this. He's not a morning person and no one is up at 6:30. OP, if YOU were already awake then why didn't you go help him tie the tie??? I am confused.

[Anonymous]

I could see myself doing this. Sorry, I can't even get excited on Christmas Day, when the kids want to open presents at 6am. I'm not a morning person but I'm also not a bad parent. The child will get over it and probably has already done so. You need to get over it too. We can't all be jolly around our kids all the time.