Freeloading swim team parents suck

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s always the people who don’t volunteer who decide the system is inefficient and they could do it with fewer people!!

Except several people here have commented that they do volunteer and see how it could be more efficient.

In my experience it’s the martyrs who get upset both when other people don’t volunteer and when people who do volunteer try to make suggestions.

I read all the pages and didn’t see a suggestion from someone that actually sounded like they had experience. So what, particularly did I miss?
I heard just have one timer instead of three, no concussions. Neither of those is realistic.

Please explain for us non-swimmers what they do with the three times per swimmer. Do they average the times? How do they choose which time to go with?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Superior beings,
If you don't want kids with non-volunteer parents on your swim team, then make it SUPER CLEAR that enrollment is limited to parent volunteer families only. Drop kids whose parent doesn't occupy a volunteer role in the first A or B meet.

I feel like the leagues are shaming me because I can only volunteer part-time. I can't volunteer for every B meet during the season. I can't commit to judge training, like stroke and turn. But I do what I can with the time I have available.

Teams absolutely make it super clear. And give numerous chances to back out. People know and just don’t care. Takers gonna take.

My kid wants to swim, so I sign him up. I have other kids that play other sports, I have elderly parents that I’m the caretaker for, and I have a job. So I don’t volunteer. I offer to write a check for whatever, but I’m not denying my son an opportunity to swim because his grandparents are dying or I have to work. If it comes back to bite me, as previous posters have threatened, than that’s fine with me.

What exactly are we paying for with swim team sign up fees anyway? It’s not cheap. My other son plays little league, and for the $125 sign up fee they get a uniform, paid umpires, and an end of year party budget. For swim team I buy the swimsuits, volunteers run everything, and concession sales pay for social events.

You’re one of the people OP is talking to then.
Swim team is absolutely cheap considering that pools are expensive and it’s a daily activity.
I had a deployed husband and six kids and still could find a way to volunteer. Everybody has a lot going on.

so do you and your spouse/child's father never come to watch your kid swim? if you can watch the meet you can volunteer.

False, I can't watch my kid swim if I'm stuck in the snack bar or timing in a lane in which DC isn't swimming in or clerking or creating stupid ribbons etc.

Let me rephrase it then.

If you have time time to sit on your *ss watching your kid swim then you have enough leisure time to volunteer at a meet or two. You clearly aren't working or caring for a the aging elders ever minute of the day and can suck it up like the rest of the parents.

Your kid is swimming 3-4 one to two minute heats. If you are volunteering at the snack bar, you can leave for those few minutes no issue and someone will cover. Its done all the time. Same with timer, someone just switches with you. No big deal. You are taking 10-20 minutes of swimming for a few hours. Same with ribbon. You can step away for a minute. My spouse is referee or stroke and turn for every meet as we don't have anyone to step up. It really sucks he can never fully watch our child. You are really selfish.

You choose to have six kids. You need to do you share of the work and stop making excuses. If anything with six kids you are obligated to do MORE, not less.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s always the people who don’t volunteer who decide the system is inefficient and they could do it with fewer people!!

Except several people here have commented that they do volunteer and see how it could be more efficient.

In my experience it’s the martyrs who get upset both when other people don’t volunteer and when people who do volunteer try to make suggestions.

I read all the pages and didn’t see a suggestion from someone that actually sounded like they had experience. So what, particularly did I miss?
I heard just have one timer instead of three, no concussions. Neither of those is realistic.

Please explain for us non-swimmers what they do with the three times per swimmer. Do they average the times? How do they choose which time to go with?

Average time as usually people are slightly off with timing so the middle time usually wins.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Superior beings,
If you don't want kids with non-volunteer parents on your swim team, then make it SUPER CLEAR that enrollment is limited to parent volunteer families only. Drop kids whose parent doesn't occupy a volunteer role in the first A or B meet.

I feel like the leagues are shaming me because I can only volunteer part-time. I can't volunteer for every B meet during the season. I can't commit to judge training, like stroke and turn. But I do what I can with the time I have available.

Teams absolutely make it super clear. And give numerous chances to back out. People know and just don’t care. Takers gonna take.

My kid wants to swim, so I sign him up. I have other kids that play other sports, I have elderly parents that I’m the caretaker for, and I have a job. So I don’t volunteer. I offer to write a check for whatever, but I’m not denying my son an opportunity to swim because his grandparents are dying or I have to work. If it comes back to bite me, as previous posters have threatened, than that’s fine with me.

What exactly are we paying for with swim team sign up fees anyway? It’s not cheap. My other son plays little league, and for the $125 sign up fee they get a uniform, paid umpires, and an end of year party budget. For swim team I buy the swimsuits, volunteers run everything, and concession sales pay for social events.

You’re one of the people OP is talking to then.
Swim team is absolutely cheap considering that pools are expensive and it’s a daily activity.
I had a deployed husband and six kids and still could find a way to volunteer. Everybody has a lot going on.

so do you and your spouse/child's father never come to watch your kid swim? if you can watch the meet you can volunteer.

False, I can't watch my kid swim if I'm stuck in the snack bar or timing in a lane in which DC isn't swimming in or clerking or creating stupid ribbons etc.

Let me rephrase it then.

If you have time time to sit on your *ss watching your kid swim then you have enough leisure time to volunteer at a meet or two. You clearly aren't working or caring for a the aging elders ever minute of the day and can suck it up like the rest of the parents.

Your kid is swimming 3-4 one to two minute heats. If you are volunteering at the snack bar, you can leave for those few minutes no issue and someone will cover. Its done all the time. Same with timer, someone just switches with you. No big deal. You are taking 10-20 minutes of swimming for a few hours. Same with ribbon. You can step away for a minute. My spouse is referee or stroke and turn for every meet as we don't have anyone to step up. It really sucks he can never fully watch our child. You are really selfish.

You choose to have six kids. You need to do you share of the work and stop making excuses. If anything with six kids you are obligated to do MORE, not less.

I hope you’re just mixing up posters. *I* responded that I had six kids and found ways to volunteer even when my husband was deployed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s always the people who don’t volunteer who decide the system is inefficient and they could do it with fewer people!!

Except several people here have commented that they do volunteer and see how it could be more efficient.

In my experience it’s the martyrs who get upset both when other people don’t volunteer and when people who do volunteer try to make suggestions.

I read all the pages and didn’t see a suggestion from someone that actually sounded like they had experience. So what, particularly did I miss?
I heard just have one timer instead of three, no concussions. Neither of those is realistic.

Please explain for us non-swimmers what they do with the three times per swimmer. Do they average the times? How do they choose which time to go with?

You get rid of the high time and the low time, and use the middle time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't have time to read through 19 pages of this nonsense but I judge the volunteer nazis like OP who deliberately try to make people feel bad. Same person who gets into a tizzy when the volunteers' shirt isn't 100% white cotton or if someone makes a mistake when filling out those unnecessary ribbons. SMD, OP.

Riddle me this, how is a single parent with one kid swimming and two others who aren't because they aren't old enough or don't want to but aren't old enough to be at home by themselves supposed to volunteer for 5 effing swim meets, plus all of the other stupid events such as needing volunteers for tie-dying shirts, or for pancake breakfasts or for the rootbeer floats. It's so much bullshine.

Perhaps at registration allow folks to opt out from volunteering for an additionl $50-$100. Then you could hire the additional help needed to do the meets.

For B meets, why not just one or two timers? It's not important at all and if little Johnny is going to swim in 8 meets he doesn't need 24 different time samples for each stroke to figure out if he's good enough for all stars or whatever else.

Summer swim team is not for the person is this situation then.
The social culture -root beer floats and pancake breakfasts and the other stuff you deem billshine - is what makes it fun for the kids. Versus year round swimming which is a grind.

As someone who does my best to volunteer whenever I can, while working around a full-time job, this attitude makes me sad. As a timer, does it really make my job harder if there's an extra kid in Lane 6 vs that lane being empty, or maybe having one extra heat of freestylers? No? Then why should the kid be barred from joining the team if his parents have a hard time with the volunteer schedule, or don't want to bring him to the extras?

I'm glad our team isn't that clique-y. We welcome all swimmers, regardless of the family situation. Of course we request and encourage volunteering; we have the same needs as every other team. But we would never push a family out or shun a kid if the parents are in a tough spot schedule-wise. I mean, some of the 'freeloader' parents on swim team are really active in PTA or Scouts or other time-consuming activities throughout the year, in which my kids benefit from their volunteer time. Or not ... but the kid should still have an opportunity to participate regardless. I volunteer because I want to make the activity better for all kids, not just the ones from families I deem worthy of it.

The issue becomes it heavily falls on other parents, especially with smaller teams. We only have one ref, so every home meet, my spouse has to ref. He cannot get sick or miss it for any reason and has to rearrange his work schedule around it as no one else will step up. When he's not ref, he's stroke and turn. He doesn't get one meet off, which isn't really fair. And, I'm doing a lot of behind the scenes stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s always the people who don’t volunteer who decide the system is inefficient and they could do it with fewer people!!

Except several people here have commented that they do volunteer and see how it could be more efficient.

In my experience it’s the martyrs who get upset both when other people don’t volunteer and when people who do volunteer try to make suggestions.

I read all the pages and didn’t see a suggestion from someone that actually sounded like they had experience. So what, particularly did I miss?
I heard just have one timer instead of three, no concussions. Neither of those is realistic.

Please explain for us non-swimmers what they do with the three times per swimmer. Do they average the times? How do they choose which time to go with?

Average time as usually people are slightly off with timing so the middle time usually wins.

That’s not what average time means! Average would be to add them all up and divide by three.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Superior beings,
If you don't want kids with non-volunteer parents on your swim team, then make it SUPER CLEAR that enrollment is limited to parent volunteer families only. Drop kids whose parent doesn't occupy a volunteer role in the first A or B meet.

I feel like the leagues are shaming me because I can only volunteer part-time. I can't volunteer for every B meet during the season. I can't commit to judge training, like stroke and turn. But I do what I can with the time I have available.

Teams absolutely make it super clear. And give numerous chances to back out. People know and just don’t care. Takers gonna take.

My kid wants to swim, so I sign him up. I have other kids that play other sports, I have elderly parents that I’m the caretaker for, and I have a job. So I don’t volunteer. I offer to write a check for whatever, but I’m not denying my son an opportunity to swim because his grandparents are dying or I have to work. If it comes back to bite me, as previous posters have threatened, than that’s fine with me.

What exactly are we paying for with swim team sign up fees anyway? It’s not cheap. My other son plays little league, and for the $125 sign up fee they get a uniform, paid umpires, and an end of year party budget. For swim team I buy the swimsuits, volunteers run everything, and concession sales pay for social events.

You’re one of the people OP is talking to then.
Swim team is absolutely cheap considering that pools are expensive and it’s a daily activity.
I had a deployed husband and six kids and still could find a way to volunteer. Everybody has a lot going on.

so do you and your spouse/child's father never come to watch your kid swim? if you can watch the meet you can volunteer.

False, I can't watch my kid swim if I'm stuck in the snack bar or timing in a lane in which DC isn't swimming in or clerking or creating stupid ribbons etc.

Let me rephrase it then.

If you have time time to sit on your *ss watching your kid swim then you have enough leisure time to volunteer at a meet or two. You clearly aren't working or caring for a the aging elders ever minute of the day and can suck it up like the rest of the parents.

Your kid is swimming 3-4 one to two minute heats. If you are volunteering at the snack bar, you can leave for those few minutes no issue and someone will cover. Its done all the time. Same with timer, someone just switches with you. No big deal. You are taking 10-20 minutes of swimming for a few hours. Same with ribbon. You can step away for a minute. My spouse is referee or stroke and turn for every meet as we don't have anyone to step up. It really sucks he can never fully watch our child. You are really selfish.

You choose to have six kids. You need to do you share of the work and stop making excuses. If anything with six kids you are obligated to do MORE, not less.

Actually the person who had six kids DID find the time to volunteer. It was someone else who couldn't volunteer because of elderly parents and work.

Bottom line is, some sports require parents to pitch in. Some don't If you can't help for whatever family reasons then you should have a conversation with your kid about how and why they can't do this sport and pick a different one. The solution is not to freeload. I guarantee most of the parents volunteering aren't doing it because they don't have other toons of other obligations. They are doing it because they know it is part of the deal.

And the argument about you can't volunteer because you will miss watching your kid? What on earth do you think the parents who DO volunteer are there for? They don't care about watching their kids? They get someone to step in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Superior beings,
If you don't want kids with non-volunteer parents on your swim team, then make it SUPER CLEAR that enrollment is limited to parent volunteer families only. Drop kids whose parent doesn't occupy a volunteer role in the first A or B meet.

I feel like the leagues are shaming me because I can only volunteer part-time. I can't volunteer for every B meet during the season. I can't commit to judge training, like stroke and turn. But I do what I can with the time I have available.

Teams absolutely make it super clear. And give numerous chances to back out. People know and just don’t care. Takers gonna take.

My kid wants to swim, so I sign him up. I have other kids that play other sports, I have elderly parents that I’m the caretaker for, and I have a job. So I don’t volunteer. I offer to write a check for whatever, but I’m not denying my son an opportunity to swim because his grandparents are dying or I have to work. If it comes back to bite me, as previous posters have threatened, than that’s fine with me.

What exactly are we paying for with swim team sign up fees anyway? It’s not cheap. My other son plays little league, and for the $125 sign up fee they get a uniform, paid umpires, and an end of year party budget. For swim team I buy the swimsuits, volunteers run everything, and concession sales pay for social events.

You’re one of the people OP is talking to then.
Swim team is absolutely cheap considering that pools are expensive and it’s a daily activity.
I had a deployed husband and six kids and still could find a way to volunteer. Everybody has a lot going on.

so do you and your spouse/child's father never come to watch your kid swim? if you can watch the meet you can volunteer.

False, I can't watch my kid swim if I'm stuck in the snack bar or timing in a lane in which DC isn't swimming in or clerking or creating stupid ribbons etc.

Let me rephrase it then.

If you have time time to sit on your *ss watching your kid swim then you have enough leisure time to volunteer at a meet or two. You clearly aren't working or caring for a the aging elders ever minute of the day and can suck it up like the rest of the parents.

Your kid is swimming 3-4 one to two minute heats. If you are volunteering at the snack bar, you can leave for those few minutes no issue and someone will cover. Its done all the time. Same with timer, someone just switches with you. No big deal. You are taking 10-20 minutes of swimming for a few hours. Same with ribbon. You can step away for a minute. My spouse is referee or stroke and turn for every meet as we don't have anyone to step up. It really sucks he can never fully watch our child. You are really selfish.

You choose to have six kids. You need to do you share of the work and stop making excuses. If anything with six kids you are obligated to do MORE, not less.

Actually the person who had six kids DID find the time to volunteer. It was someone else who couldn't volunteer because of elderly parents and work.

Bottom line is, some sports require parents to pitch in. Some don't If you can't help for whatever family reasons then you should have a conversation with your kid about how and why they can't do this sport and pick a different one. The solution is not to freeload. I guarantee most of the parents volunteering aren't doing it because they don't have other toons of other obligations. They are doing it because they know it is part of the deal.

And the argument about you can't volunteer because you will miss watching your kid? What on earth do you think the parents who DO volunteer are there for? They don't care about watching their kids? They get someone to step in.

They could at least volunteer to watch the kids of the parents volunteering. You don't have to volunteer at every meet and there are many other things you can do not meet related.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't have time to read through 19 pages of this nonsense but I judge the volunteer nazis like OP who deliberately try to make people feel bad. Same person who gets into a tizzy when the volunteers' shirt isn't 100% white cotton or if someone makes a mistake when filling out those unnecessary ribbons. SMD, OP.

Riddle me this, how is a single parent with one kid swimming and two others who aren't because they aren't old enough or don't want to but aren't old enough to be at home by themselves supposed to volunteer for 5 effing swim meets, plus all of the other stupid events such as needing volunteers for tie-dying shirts, or for pancake breakfasts or for the rootbeer floats. It's so much bullshine.

Perhaps at registration allow folks to opt out from volunteering for an additionl $50-$100. Then you could hire the additional help needed to do the meets.

For B meets, why not just one or two timers? It's not important at all and if little Johnny is going to swim in 8 meets he doesn't need 24 different time samples for each stroke to figure out if he's good enough for all stars or whatever else.

Summer swim team is not for the person is this situation then.
The social culture -root beer floats and pancake breakfasts and the other stuff you deem billshine - is what makes it fun for the kids. Versus year round swimming which is a grind.

As someone who does my best to volunteer whenever I can, while working around a full-time job, this attitude makes me sad. As a timer, does it really make my job harder if there's an extra kid in Lane 6 vs that lane being empty, or maybe having one extra heat of freestylers? No? Then why should the kid be barred from joining the team if his parents have a hard time with the volunteer schedule, or don't want to bring him to the extras?

I'm glad our team isn't that clique-y. We welcome all swimmers, regardless of the family situation. Of course we request and encourage volunteering; we have the same needs as every other team. But we would never push a family out or shun a kid if the parents are in a tough spot schedule-wise. I mean, some of the 'freeloader' parents on swim team are really active in PTA or Scouts or other time-consuming activities throughout the year, in which my kids benefit from their volunteer time. Or not ... but the kid should still have an opportunity to participate regardless. I volunteer because I want to make the activity better for all kids, not just the ones from families I deem worthy of it.

The issue becomes it heavily falls on other parents, especially with smaller teams. We only have one ref, so every home meet, my spouse has to ref. He cannot get sick or miss it for any reason and has to rearrange his work schedule around it as no one else will step up. When he's not ref, he's stroke and turn. He doesn't get one meet off, which isn't really fair. And, I'm doing a lot of behind the scenes stuff.

That’s a little much. He’s allowed to get sick. Your husband could set some boundaries and give his availability and stick to it. People are never going to volunteer because they know Frank always does it or that your family will step in. Just say no. Let the cards fall where they may.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You guys are missing the big picture. It takes a village, aka lots of volunteers to make things happen for our kids and our community. More and more people do not volunteer (because both parents working stressful jobs and long hours, because they are taking care of elderly parents and other children), it doesn't really matter, the result is the same: fewer volunteers.

Meanwhile, those who are volunteering are doing more, being appreciated less, and burn out. You cannot just write a check and think it willbe the same.

I see this in nearly everything my kids and family do (so it isn't just swim team parents who aren't volunteering), and I am tired.

Maybe we need a new model, but I don't know what that is

travel sports. You pay a few thousand and the club handles most of these things for you.

Club swimming is upwards of $5000-$6000, we still need volunteer meets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't have time to read through 19 pages of this nonsense but I judge the volunteer nazis like OP who deliberately try to make people feel bad. Same person who gets into a tizzy when the volunteers' shirt isn't 100% white cotton or if someone makes a mistake when filling out those unnecessary ribbons. SMD, OP.

Riddle me this, how is a single parent with one kid swimming and two others who aren't because they aren't old enough or don't want to but aren't old enough to be at home by themselves supposed to volunteer for 5 effing swim meets, plus all of the other stupid events such as needing volunteers for tie-dying shirts, or for pancake breakfasts or for the rootbeer floats. It's so much bullshine.

Perhaps at registration allow folks to opt out from volunteering for an additionl $50-$100. Then you could hire the additional help needed to do the meets.

For B meets, why not just one or two timers? It's not important at all and if little Johnny is going to swim in 8 meets he doesn't need 24 different time samples for each stroke to figure out if he's good enough for all stars or whatever else.

Summer swim team is not for the person is this situation then.
The social culture -root beer floats and pancake breakfasts and the other stuff you deem billshine - is what makes it fun for the kids. Versus year round swimming which is a grind.

As someone who does my best to volunteer whenever I can, while working around a full-time job, this attitude makes me sad. As a timer, does it really make my job harder if there's an extra kid in Lane 6 vs that lane being empty, or maybe having one extra heat of freestylers? No? Then why should the kid be barred from joining the team if his parents have a hard time with the volunteer schedule, or don't want to bring him to the extras?

I'm glad our team isn't that clique-y. We welcome all swimmers, regardless of the family situation. Of course we request and encourage volunteering; we have the same needs as every other team. But we would never push a family out or shun a kid if the parents are in a tough spot schedule-wise. I mean, some of the 'freeloader' parents on swim team are really active in PTA or Scouts or other time-consuming activities throughout the year, in which my kids benefit from their volunteer time. Or not ... but the kid should still have an opportunity to participate regardless. I volunteer because I want to make the activity better for all kids, not just the ones from families I deem worthy of it.

The issue becomes it heavily falls on other parents, especially with smaller teams. We only have one ref, so every home meet, my spouse has to ref. He cannot get sick or miss it for any reason and has to rearrange his work schedule around it as no one else will step up. When he's not ref, he's stroke and turn. He doesn't get one meet off, which isn't really fair. And, I'm doing a lot of behind the scenes stuff.

That’s a little much. He’s allowed to get sick. Your husband could set some boundaries and give his availability and stick to it. People are never going to volunteer because they know Frank always does it or that your family will step in. Just say no. Let the cards fall where they may.

He has very good boundaries but the swim meet will not happen without a ref. Its a small team. We will do our part but it sucks when others don't. Its only two months. No one else IS stepping in. You must not get swim as you have to get certified for specific positions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You guys are missing the big picture. It takes a village, aka lots of volunteers to make things happen for our kids and our community. More and more people do not volunteer (because both parents working stressful jobs and long hours, because they are taking care of elderly parents and other children), it doesn't really matter, the result is the same: fewer volunteers.

Meanwhile, those who are volunteering are doing more, being appreciated less, and burn out. You cannot just write a check and think it willbe the same.

I see this in nearly everything my kids and family do (so it isn't just swim team parents who aren't volunteering), and I am tired.

Maybe we need a new model, but I don't know what that is

travel sports. You pay a few thousand and the club handles most of these things for you.

Club swimming is upwards of $5000-$6000, we still need volunteer meets.

Wow, we pay less than half that. For that kind of money, I hope your kid is on an Olympic trajectory

[Anonymous]

Why can’t parents buy out? For every time they have to time or work concessions, they need pay wages to cover someone else doing it. That would be the hourly rate and the prorated cost of hiring the staffing firm which of course would need to be licensed and insured.

The cost of the buy out would be above the cost of joining swim team.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't have time to read through 19 pages of this nonsense but I judge the volunteer nazis like OP who deliberately try to make people feel bad. Same person who gets into a tizzy when the volunteers' shirt isn't 100% white cotton or if someone makes a mistake when filling out those unnecessary ribbons. SMD, OP.

Riddle me this, how is a single parent with one kid swimming and two others who aren't because they aren't old enough or don't want to but aren't old enough to be at home by themselves supposed to volunteer for 5 effing swim meets, plus all of the other stupid events such as needing volunteers for tie-dying shirts, or for pancake breakfasts or for the rootbeer floats. It's so much bullshine.

Perhaps at registration allow folks to opt out from volunteering for an additionl $50-$100. Then you could hire the additional help needed to do the meets.

For B meets, why not just one or two timers? It's not important at all and if little Johnny is going to swim in 8 meets he doesn't need 24 different time samples for each stroke to figure out if he's good enough for all stars or whatever else.

Stop making excuses- or don’t have your kid swim.

The problem is that as parents, we make sacrifices. Stop expecting other parents to sacrifice their own time to benefit yours.
You can’t outsource everything- if you can’t time then volunteer to do a different job for the team. Or if you have money to throw around, hire a sitter or someone to fill your volunteer commitments.