DC Urban Moms Farce
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jsteele
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snark lag
noun The period of time between a post in a serious thread and the satirizing of that post in the Farce thread : the snark lag of that post was less than an hour. |
Anonymous
None so far. But my husband likes them very much. He even gave up wearing his orange Crocs because, you know, they just didn't look right. I wonder what this might mean. |
Anonymous
| Hey! I think I know your husband! My husband practices law with him downtown. They go out for drinks every Tuesday and Thursday. He must be a peach! I didn't get to meet him at this years's Christmas party because his girlfriend was sick... |
Anonymous
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From the DC Gun Ban Overturned Thread
"Ugh. So I will have to start asking about guns in the house before playdates. What's the best way to brocah the topic without being offensive? " the best way is through casual conversation. Here are some ice breakers ....mention how Costco is having a special on automatic rifles but you aren't sure that you really need 12, if the parent moves back slowly pulling their child close, its safe to schedule the playdate ....mention how you don't trust processed meat, even organic..inquire whether hunting is allowed in Rock Creek park or if you are in burbs ask if they have deer around, if they seem uncomfortable with the conversation, schedule the playdate ....if the parents send squirrel to lunch with their child, chances are they are red necks and have guns, avoid the playdate ...check out a book on gang tattoos at your local library, corrections officials may also have a copy, schedule a joint playdate at the splash park if you think their tattoos may be hidden |
Anonymous
GENIUS. pure genius. |
Anonymous
| i'm new to washington, dc. i've heard there are only two kinds of people in this town, sidwell and non-sidwell. what does this mean? |
Anonymous
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I would like to set up my dear friend on a date with a member of a different species. In this case, a dog. Should I ask her whether it's okay first? And should it be an Australian Sheperd, a Lab, or a mutt. She wears alot of black, so maybe a Labradoodle to avoid all that shedding? Or is this just a crazy idea. After all, all dogs are like all men. So they'll be straying soon enough.
------------------ Sorry for the pathetic and generally not funny post. But at least give me points on the snark lag meter - at least one of these comes with a snark lag of well under 24 hours. |
Anonymous
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re: snark lag.
I want to put something pointing to the stupid thread about "older moms - why?" Can't seem to come up with anything, though. Where's the OP when you need her? Perhaps - there are moms in the DC area who made different parenting choices than I made. Why? It is obvious my choices were the right ones, and the best ones (as evidenced by my perfect child). Why would they make different ones? Perhaps the women waited so long to have kids they have alzheimers? |
Anonymous
| Granny replying here- I know- at 34 you young chicks without hearing aids were so proactive in getting pregnant- wish I had thought of that! That's why I ignore you young ones at parks.. I mean- OP- you do sound so much younger than a 34 year old (no spring chicken!) - hello? OP- are you there? Oh- yeah- you wrote to make yourself feel better about your life right now- nevermind! |
Anonymous
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Op here, eh... I mean PP. Huh? Yea, whoever here.
Young mom responding to granny, geez, yeah, you look like you are trying to be in shape, but look at those flaps flailing! Just admit it already, when you were young, you dated a man from another race, got scared because your dad did not approve of it, and gained 40 lbs. Then you lost it all, found white DH, had DC, KWIM? ITA you should respect 'em all, FYI I'm mixed. Uhm, what? Huh? Yeah, I am paranoid and insecure. Period. Ooops, when exactly did I have my last period? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! |
Anonymous
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My DS (13 months) has started preferring his Daddy over me - he cries if I try to give him a bath or put him to bed. Has anyone else dealt with this? We are agonizing.
How can I ensure this behavior continues so I can go out every night to play Bunko (read: smoke pot and swing) with my BFFs in Rockville? Should I lower the bathwater temperature (yet again!) below 35 degrees? How about reading Socrates instead of Plato? Any other suggestions? Help! He actually let me change his diaper yesterday and I am DESPERATE!!!! |
Anonymous
| I am a white German-Italian-Irish-American woman and my DH is an Asian American (not sure which country exactly), we have a darling little boy - Narcy. Narcyis as sight to behold, Adonis hasnothing on him. Narcy is so beautiful that people have gone blind just by gazing upon him. We constantly get stopped in the street, people que up outside our house and wait for days to be able to see him. Does anyone have the contact information for Brangelina. I think that Narcy should be in pictures and I know that those two are the ones to get it done. |
Anonymous
HAHAHAHAHA 
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Anonymous
Watch out for Brangelina - they adopt every "ethnic" child in sight! (Was it tacky to say that?) |
Anonymous
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I saw Narcy. He's not that special. Sure, he's cuter than most kids, but not cuter than mine.
Did I mention it was a vaginal birth? Didn't even hurt. Two angels showed up to be my doulas so that they could get a first glimpse. |