What American "cultural" things you don't do or allow your kids to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Refusing these on principle is bizarre.

My kids have each done one sleepover in their lives, I believe. They're not dating as teens and young adults. And my second did have a yearlong carpool at some point.

But we didn't set off to refuse those things. It just happened that way.

Why don't you live your life in a more organic way? You seem extremely mentally rigid.

TBH - I see no value in them while my kids are young. There are many other things that I do for the socialization of my kids, so I don't think they are missing anything but dangerous situations. I do not want to normalize these things or distract them from their academics, ECs, traveling and having fun with similar kids.

In my interactions with American families, I have not walked away with feeling that I want them be around my kids when I am not around. I don't want to do the detective work to find out what the intentions of people around me are especially when it comes to the safety of my children.

My kids and I do have these discussions all the time, and I feel I will be more comfortable when they are adults and able to have their own boundaries.

Wow.

Why would you live here if you don't like or trust any "American" families or American cultural traditions?

My parents were like this and I guess I can explain it to you as an observer. In a lot of countries/cultures, you don’t befriend everyone. You befriend people who are your caste, from your region, your religion, your socioeconomic level, etc. These aren’t laws set in stone, it’s just the way things are. So when people come to America they naturally gravitate to their own “kind.”

My parents are not going to socialize with “Americans” just like they are not going to socialize with someone from their own country who is on a different social strata. It’s not personal. They simply decline to navigate social differences if they don’t have to.

I don’t know why so many of you are offended by this. People who immigrate go through enough crap, they don’t have to force themselves to befriend you. Their children will assimilate because they grow up in this culture.

And this is my personal experience, Americans tend to be very stingy and guarded. They lack the warmth and generosity you experience in my parents’ culture. Look at this forum for myriad examples. It’s a lot less complicated to make friends in other cultures.

The fact that you’ve even set foot in this country is due to the ignorance and magnanimity of Americans

Immigration isn’t a “magnanimous” policy, especially towards people from poorer countries. People from those countries are providing hard labor or valuable skills. There’s a reason I paid $8 for a teeny tiny box of grapes yesterday and it’s not that Americans are less “magnanimous” right now.

Work on being more socially functional or more appealing if you want strangers to make friends with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Piercing baby girls ears.

Or noses.

This is not an American thing. it’s very Latino and south Asian to get piercings for a baby.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get why out of all things, the preventing dating/sex thing is the biggest problem. Who wants their teen kids having sex? Most UMC white parents do not. So why judge immigrants for not letting their kids date?

It’s mostly weird that these judgy immigrants ITT think teen dating is somehow exclusively an American behavior. Ignorant and frankly weird.

Especially when they come from a place with teen brides.

Mormons anyone? Plenty of child brides down south too.

We’re talking about teen dating and child brides NOT being EXCLUSIVE to America, dear. And child brides are certainly not a commonly accepted part of American culture.

Try to keep up.

American who try to claim moral superiority deserve to be roasted hard and often.

Literally the person who started this thread did so to say all the things she hates about the US. But ok.

Where is the proof that person in not American?

Well clearly they would rather die than be considered American. Otherwise, what are they complaining about? They are what they hate.

So you’re just assuming, as suspected.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Piercing baby girls ears.

Or noses.

This is not an American thing. it’s very Latino and south Asian to get piercings for a baby.

Italians too

[Anonymous]

I remember there was controversy because Madonna pierced her daughter Lourdes’ ears when she was a baby

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Refusing these on principle is bizarre.

My kids have each done one sleepover in their lives, I believe. They're not dating as teens and young adults. And my second did have a yearlong carpool at some point.

But we didn't set off to refuse those things. It just happened that way.

Why don't you live your life in a more organic way? You seem extremely mentally rigid.

TBH - I see no value in them while my kids are young. There are many other things that I do for the socialization of my kids, so I don't think they are missing anything but dangerous situations. I do not want to normalize these things or distract them from their academics, ECs, traveling and having fun with similar kids.

In my interactions with American families, I have not walked away with feeling that I want them be around my kids when I am not around. I don't want to do the detective work to find out what the intentions of people around me are especially when it comes to the safety of my children.

My kids and I do have these discussions all the time, and I feel I will be more comfortable when they are adults and able to have their own boundaries.

Wow.

Why would you live here if you don't like or trust any "American" families or American cultural traditions?

My parents were like this and I guess I can explain it to you as an observer. In a lot of countries/cultures, you don’t befriend everyone. You befriend people who are your caste, from your region, your religion, your socioeconomic level, etc. These aren’t laws set in stone, it’s just the way things are. So when people come to America they naturally gravitate to their own “kind.”

My parents are not going to socialize with “Americans” just like they are not going to socialize with someone from their own country who is on a different social strata. It’s not personal. They simply decline to navigate social differences if they don’t have to.

I don’t know why so many of you are offended by this. People who immigrate go through enough crap, they don’t have to force themselves to befriend you. Their children will assimilate because they grow up in this culture.

And this is my personal experience, Americans tend to be very stingy and guarded. They lack the warmth and generosity you experience in my parents’ culture. Look at this forum for myriad examples. It’s a lot less complicated to make friends in other cultures.

I think your viewpoint here is more a function of your personality and people not liking you than it is of American culture.

--another immigrant

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Refusing these on principle is bizarre.

My kids have each done one sleepover in their lives, I believe. They're not dating as teens and young adults. And my second did have a yearlong carpool at some point.

But we didn't set off to refuse those things. It just happened that way.

Why don't you live your life in a more organic way? You seem extremely mentally rigid.

TBH - I see no value in them while my kids are young. There are many other things that I do for the socialization of my kids, so I don't think they are missing anything but dangerous situations. I do not want to normalize these things or distract them from their academics, ECs, traveling and having fun with similar kids.

In my interactions with American families, I have not walked away with feeling that I want them be around my kids when I am not around. I don't want to do the detective work to find out what the intentions of people around me are especially when it comes to the safety of my children.

My kids and I do have these discussions all the time, and I feel I will be more comfortable when they are adults and able to have their own boundaries.

Wow.

Why would you live here if you don't like or trust any "American" families or American cultural traditions?

My parents were like this and I guess I can explain it to you as an observer. In a lot of countries/cultures, you don’t befriend everyone. You befriend people who are your caste, from your region, your religion, your socioeconomic level, etc. These aren’t laws set in stone, it’s just the way things are. So when people come to America they naturally gravitate to their own “kind.”

My parents are not going to socialize with “Americans” just like they are not going to socialize with someone from their own country who is on a different social strata. It’s not personal. They simply decline to navigate social differences if they don’t have to.

I don’t know why so many of you are offended by this. People who immigrate go through enough crap, they don’t have to force themselves to befriend you. Their children will assimilate because they grow up in this culture.

And this is my personal experience, Americans tend to be very stingy and guarded. They lack the warmth and generosity you experience in my parents’ culture. Look at this forum for myriad examples. It’s a lot less complicated to make friends in other cultures.

I think your viewpoint here is more a function of your personality and people not liking you than it is of American culture.

--another immigrant

I’m observing how people treated my family, not me. People are “friendly” to me because I don’t have an accent, and because I present as “white.” I’ve seen how other, nonwhite immigrants are treated and I’m not impressed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not American, but I don’t see the issue with carpooling. What’s wrong with that? We don’t do sleepovers due to a fear of SA, and we wouldn’t allow dating, because we don’t believe in intimacy before marriage, but what is wrong with carpooling?

How will you control this when your kid is in college?

Those were the kids in college that were wild as hell!

[Anonymous]

I read these comments and understand what is wrong with young people. Parents aren't allowed to let kids do anything! Yikes. This is why Gen Z are getting fired so fast. They cannot think themselves out of a paper bag. I'm an old Gen X, we were feral and it was wonderful. The world was just as dangerous but our parents wanted to teach us life skills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Using RoundUp in the yard.
Using glade or other perfumed stuff in the home.

I love Roundup and I'll always use it in my yard. No one is eating anything I spray and I'm highly allergic to poison ivy. Like, it sent me to Emergency twice last time and only gets worse with each exposure. That shit gets sprayed with Roundup every year until it no longer appears.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Using RoundUp in the yard.
Using glade or other perfumed stuff in the home.

I love Roundup and I'll always use it in my yard. No one is eating anything I spray and I'm highly allergic to poison ivy. Like, it sent me to Emergency twice last time and only gets worse with each exposure. That shit gets sprayed with Roundup every year until it no longer appears.

Find another way to deal with the poison ivy. Round up is carcinogenic. This isn’t in question. You are literally going to give yourself cancer to avoid poison ivy. If you think going to the ER is bad, wait until you find out what cancer treatment is like.

[Anonymous]

The "typical American things" I don't allow:

*Guns
*Public School Attendance
*Dogs
*Baseball caps worn inside
*Rudeness
,*MAGAs
*Suburban living
*Wearing Shoes indoors
*Sodas
*Camping
*Kids hanging out at your house univited

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The "typical American things" I don't allow:

*Guns
*Public School Attendance
*Dogs
*Baseball caps worn inside
*Rudeness
,*MAGAs
*Suburban living
*Wearing Shoes indoors
*Sodas
*Camping
*Kids hanging out at your house univited

Don’t you sound lovely to be around

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I read these comments and understand what is wrong with young people. Parents aren't allowed to let kids do anything! Yikes. This is why Gen Z are getting fired so fast. They cannot think themselves out of a paper bag. I'm an old Gen X, we were feral and it was wonderful. The world was just as dangerous but our parents wanted to teach us life skills.

That is the thing. We don’t really need life skills anymore. We have AI.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Refusing these on principle is bizarre.

My kids have each done one sleepover in their lives, I believe. They're not dating as teens and young adults. And my second did have a yearlong carpool at some point.

But we didn't set off to refuse those things. It just happened that way.

Why don't you live your life in a more organic way? You seem extremely mentally rigid.

TBH - I see no value in them while my kids are young. There are many other things that I do for the socialization of my kids, so I don't think they are missing anything but dangerous situations. I do not want to normalize these things or distract them from their academics, ECs, traveling and having fun with similar kids.

In my interactions with American families, I have not walked away with feeling that I want them be around my kids when I am not around. I don't want to do the detective work to find out what the intentions of people around me are especially when it comes to the safety of my children.

My kids and I do have these discussions all the time, and I feel I will be more comfortable when they are adults and able to have their own boundaries.

You're exactly the kind of person that makes Americans wish immigrants would have stayed in their country of origin, and also wonder why they didn't. Congrats.

Totally different poster. Why are you assuming this person is an immigrant?

Do most people refer to "American families" when they talk about friends and neighbors? I'm not American, (well I am now, but not born and raised here) but I never talk about my "American" friends vs whatever other nationality. That's not normal. I agree, she gives immigrants a bad rap. I don't complain about the US (well Trump, but not US in general), nobody is forcing me to live here.

PP's attitude is rampant on DCUM. Some immigrants have a totally transactional view of being in the US. They want to extract whatever wealth and resources they can, while having no interest in assimilation and looking their noses down on Americans. And then they wonder why Americans don't like them,

+1

What’s your point, exactly? If I can maintain my culture while allowing my family to benefit from the resources of the United States, why shouldn’t I?

To add to this, no foreigner ever wonders “why” Americans don’t like them. That’s not actually a question. Everyone already knows the “why.”

Actually, I think any American who dislikes immigrants is reacting to the exact sentiment expressed by the PP. It is pretty entitled to say that you want to come here to "benefit from the resources of the United States" without assimilating. You are defying the entire point of the United States and giving the big middle finger to its citizens. We can do fine without you.