How did you decide on family size?
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Anonymous
| How did you know when you were done expanding your family? Some have said to me 'you just know' but I go back and forth on this question all the time and wonder when I will ever be at peace with the answer. I currently have two- DD is 6 and DS is 3. I'm in my mid-thirties and can't shake this idea of wanting a 3rd. Yet, I'm tired all the time, get stressed easily, and feel pretty stretched as it is. I'm happily married but wonder if having another would send my marriage and me over the edge. Just wondering how others reached their decision on how many children to have. |
Anonymous
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Having only 2 gives me room before I go over the edge. Had to give myself some room.
Also, the jump to 3 kids was just going to change a lot of things- a bigger car, a bigger house, an extra hotel room/cruise cabin when you travel (since most everything is based on a family of 4). We are glad we stopped at 2. |
Anonymous
| Easy for us. Getting pregnant with #1 cost us $40,000. Number 2 came from a frozen embryo but still cost another $6,000. We're now out of embryos and can't afford another $40,000, so we're done. |
Anonymous
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The third and fourth were surprises, and we are so thrilled with them! I feel like you need the chaos of three to make life interesting. Plus, everyone out in the burbs seem to have three or more (tons with four or more).
Not to mention that three is the new two 
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Anonymous
Same for us except after paying out of pocket for all of the above to no avail, we then did two intl adoptions and are drawing the line at that. DHL is 42 and I am 40 and I have spent the last decade, since I got married in 2003, working on family-building, and I am pretty exhausted, and we have spent a lot of money! |
Anonymous
My husband expressed the desire for #3 because he wanted "more chaos in the house". He grew up in a house of 8 kids. I spaced it out so the first was out of daycare before we went for #3. After that I felt I was at my limit and we took permanent measures to prevent any more pregnancies. My husband is an equal partner and probably a better parent than I am, so his input meant a lot. |
Anonymous
| OP, I'm in your shoes, too, just with kids a few years older. I'm sure I would never regret a child if I had another, but I am also well aware that life is simpler with two than three. I envy people who have a clear sense of their "right" family size (and the means to achieve that). |
Anonymous
| money money money money money...money! |
Anonymous
| Our first was a hard baby, so we were like f*** doing this again. |
Anonymous
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Due to our religious beliefs, we don't use birth control...first 4 kids came VERY quickly...Dh is military and was deployed A LOT the first 8 years of our marriage, still we managed to have 4 kids in 6 years.
He's not a nice person when I am pregnant. It's really bad, actually. So I've cut him off completely, sexually. No more kids for us. |
Anonymous
| I wasn't sure I wanted kids for a while. When I decided I want a kid, I was pretty sure I wanted A kid. I had a kid. I was right, I only wanted one kid. My husband wouldn't mind another, but it's not a strong enough drive for it to be an issue that we stopped with one. |
Anonymous
| I was diagnosed with secondary infertility, and we did not want to spend thousands on IVF. |
Anonymous
| We wanted a second child - felt that another was an importnat addition to our family - and then I got pregnant with twins. So we will have three and plan on calling it a day once they're born. We are thrilled with the prospect of three kids but it will be tight on our finances. |
Anonymous
| when the Purple Heart Donation truck drove away with the high chair and the exersaucer..... |
Anonymous
| We limited our family to two kids since we had no family help and could only manage two. They are adults now and recently, DH's sibling passed away unexpectedly. We now have two young ones to raise since their other parent is incompetent. Thank God we have a strong marriage. |