How did you decide on family size?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The third and fourth were surprises, and we are so thrilled with them! I feel like you need the chaos of three to make life interesting. Plus, everyone out in the burbs seem to have three or more (tons with four or more).

Not to mention that three is the new two

You should have as many kids as your friends are having?

Lots of bimbos on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your religious beliefs are probably anti-divorce too?

They are...but at this time I am considering it anyway.

So, you pick and choose your religious convictions. Meanwhile, your children will be the victims when they grow up in a divorced household, likely without enough money.

It would have been wiser to use birth control and establish a SOLID MARRIAGE to support your children.

[Anonymous]

Selfish and lazy husband = one kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your religious beliefs are probably anti-divorce too?

They are...but at this time I am considering it anyway.

So, you pick and choose your religious convictions. Meanwhile, your children will be the victims when they grow up in a divorced household, likely without enough money.

It would have been wiser to use birth control and establish a SOLID MARRIAGE to support your children.

Not being the third person in their marriage, I find it pretty hard to judge her. And people change. Military wife- I hope you can get counseling and the courage to leave. Nobody deserves abuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your religious beliefs are probably anti-divorce too?

They are...but at this time I am considering it anyway.

So, you pick and choose your religious convictions. Meanwhile, your children will be the victims when they grow up in a divorced household, likely without enough money.

It would have been wiser to use birth control and establish a SOLID MARRIAGE to support your children.

Have you thought about how it would be more appropriate to yell at the abusive spouse, rather than at the abused spouse?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your religious beliefs are probably anti-divorce too?

They are...but at this time I am considering it anyway.

Even if your religious beliefs are against divorce, they likely don't prevent you from seeking safety for your children and yourself. Please consider it.

[Anonymous]

I would love to have 2 more kids to have 4 total. BUT, both of my kids are "spirited" I guess is the term, high energy, demanding of attention, just need lots of guidance and supervision and I am no helicopter parent. The roll of the dice might result in anther of they same, and my sanity and marriage could not handle it. I love my husband, and think we have a strong marriage and relationship, we we together for 10 years before we had our first child, and our children's demands have taken a HUGE toll on our marriage. I don't want to jeopardize the family my children now have for the daydream of the potential one I always wanted,

[Anonymous]

2 felt perfect. We made it permanent shortly after DC2 was born and feel it was the right decision for the time and money we have. Honestly I feel that having a 3rd - even if I wanted it - would be not very fair to my existing kids since I would not have bandwidth for the 3rd, especially not for individual attention. That is just me with my particular commute, work hours, sleep needs etc. I am sure others balance it fine with 3 but I know I could not - not does SAH work for us right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would love to have 2 more kids to have 4 total. BUT, both of my kids are "spirited" I guess is the term, high energy, demanding of attention, just need lots of guidance and supervision and I am no helicopter parent. The roll of the dice might result in anther of they same, and my sanity and marriage could not handle it. I love my husband, and think we have a strong marriage and relationship, we we together for 10 years before we had our first child, and our children's demands have taken a HUGE toll on our marriage. I don't want to jeopardize the family my children now have for the daydream of the potential one I always wanted,

Wise woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would love to have 2 more kids to have 4 total. BUT, both of my kids are "spirited" I guess is the term, high energy, demanding of attention, just need lots of guidance and supervision and I am no helicopter parent. The roll of the dice might result in anther of they same, and my sanity and marriage could not handle it. I love my husband, and think we have a strong marriage and relationship, we we together for 10 years before we had our first child, and our children's demands have taken a HUGE toll on our marriage. I don't want to jeopardize the family my children now have for the daydream of the potential one I always wanted,

This exact reason

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your religious beliefs are probably anti-divorce too?

They are...but at this time I am considering it anyway.

Even if your religious beliefs are against divorce, they likely don't prevent you from seeking safety for your children and yourself. Please consider it.

+100000. My mother's pregnant friend was thrown down the stairs by her husband, with MIL's approval. Do not remain in an abusive marriage. It will only get worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Due to our religious beliefs, we don't use birth control...first 4 kids came VERY quickly...Dh is military and was deployed A LOT the first 8 years of our marriage, still we managed to have 4 kids in 6 years.

He's not a nice person when I am pregnant. It's really bad, actually. So I've cut him off completely, sexually. No more kids for us.

that makes me so sad.

The part where I've cut him off makes you sad, not that he is abusive when I'm pregnant? Strange....but I'm not going to continue to have sex with someone that won't treat me with respect when I am carrying his child.

So he is only abusive when you are pregnant?

He has been abusive at many times but ALWAYS when I've been pregnant and in more scary ways. The only time he actually ever physically struck me was when I was pregnant. The other times it has been more verbal abuse/intimidation.

Why didn't you stop at #1 or #2?

[Anonymous]

We only ever wanted one, it's been great at each stage, and we are happy with our family.

[Anonymous]

We've talked about having three for a while. I'm 39 weeks along with our second, and I imagine we'll revisit how many after this one turns one or so. I'm nearly 37 so we don't have a ton of time.

Our first (almost two) has been such an awesome kid, I'm a little freaked by how things may change. My husband is an awesome husband and father, a true partner and team player, so no qualms there. We'll see what feels right!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Due to our religious beliefs, we don't use birth control...first 4 kids came VERY quickly...Dh is military and was deployed A LOT the first 8 years of our marriage, still we managed to have 4 kids in 6 years.

He's not a nice person when I am pregnant. It's really bad, actually. So I've cut him off completely, sexually. No more kids for us.

that makes me so sad.

The part where I've cut him off makes you sad, not that he is abusive when I'm pregnant? Strange....but I'm not going to continue to have sex with someone that won't treat me with respect when I am carrying his child.

So he is only abusive when you are pregnant?

He has been abusive at many times but ALWAYS when I've been pregnant and in more scary ways. The only time he actually ever physically struck me was when I was pregnant. The other times it has been more verbal abuse/intimidation.

Why didn't you stop at #1 or #2?

I hope she isn't reading these posts. Why are so many people acting like jerks towards a woman whose husband is abusive?