Making time for kids? Study says quality trumps quantity

[Anonymous]

Oh yeah? And some of you SAHMs are lazy leeches living off your husbands and expecting to make it big in the real world after decades of laziness. ha!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh yeah? And some of you SAHMs are lazy leeches living off your husbands and expecting to make it big in the real world after decades of laziness. ha!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh yeah? And some of you SAHMs are lazy leeches living off your husbands and expecting to make it big in the real world after decades of laziness. ha!

Don't stoop to their level. My best friend is a SAHM and she works her tail off (3 kids under 7!) she and I manage to respect each other's different life paths... Why can't the people here?

SAHMs, stop insisting that the kids of WOHMs are damaged. It's just not true -- and it's not necessary for you to justify your choice to stay home.

WOHMs, stop insisting that SAHMs are useless fools. I know some wicked smart people who've spent years at home with their families, without regret. Most are aware that re-entry into the workforce isn't easy, and made that part of their calculation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of you WOHMs are catty witches with poor reading comprehension.

Because we dispute the fact that SAHMs are just as marketable as their peers who didn't leave the workforce voluntarily to leech off another person? There are hiring managers in this thread, a number of them, flat-out claiming this. Yet it's somehow still in dispute ... ??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of you WOHMs are catty witches with poor reading comprehension.

Because we dispute the fact that SAHMs are just as marketable as their peers who didn't leave the workforce voluntarily to leech off another person? There are hiring managers in this thread, a number of them, flat-out claiming this. Yet it's somehow still in dispute ... ??

Yup. Definitely catty. And definitely poor reading comprehension. Thanks for confirming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of you WOHMs are catty witches with poor reading comprehension.

Because we dispute the fact that SAHMs are just as marketable as their peers who didn't leave the workforce voluntarily to leech off another person? There are hiring managers in this thread, a number of them, flat-out claiming this. Yet it's somehow still in dispute ... ??

Yup. Definitely catty. And definitely poor reading comprehension. Thanks for confirming.

I am a lawyer who took 8 years off to be a FT SAHP. Each year I received at least a few requests from former clients or employers to go in-house or return. I recently went part-time consulting for an organization I care very much about. I work 20-30 hours per week, do policy and case work at the same level as my colleagues when I left who have moved to the same organization, and make approximately $180,000 for part time work. And my firm last year again asked if I would return. When you're a good colleague, very smart, and very good at what you do, people in my field know that you can catch up on legal developments. They want good, smart people with proven good judgment. And college and law degrees from top ivy schools help as well. And trust me, none of you would condescendingly refer to me as "darling" in person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of you WOHMs are catty witches with poor reading comprehension.

Because we dispute the fact that SAHMs are just as marketable as their peers who didn't leave the workforce voluntarily to leech off another person? There are hiring managers in this thread, a number of them, flat-out claiming this. Yet it's somehow still in dispute ... ??

Yup. Definitely catty. And definitely poor reading comprehension. Thanks for confirming.

I am a lawyer who took 8 years off to be a FT SAHP. Each year I received at least a few requests from former clients or employers to go in-house or return. I recently went part-time consulting for an organization I care very much about. I work 20-30 hours per week, do policy and case work at the same level as my colleagues when I left who have moved to the same organization, and make approximately $180,000 for part time work. And my firm last year again asked if I would return. When you're a good colleague, very smart, and very good at what you do, people in my field know that you can catch up on legal developments. They want good, smart people with proven good judgment. And college and law degrees from top ivy schools help as well. And trust me, none of you would condescendingly refer to me as "darling" in person.

Great for you. But, you must surely know that you are the exception, and not the rule.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of you WOHMs are catty witches with poor reading comprehension.

Because we dispute the fact that SAHMs are just as marketable as their peers who didn't leave the workforce voluntarily to leech off another person? There are hiring managers in this thread, a number of them, flat-out claiming this. Yet it's somehow still in dispute ... ??

Yup. Definitely catty. And definitely poor reading comprehension. Thanks for confirming.

I am a lawyer who took 8 years off to be a FT SAHP. Each year I received at least a few requests from former clients or employers to go in-house or return. I recently went part-time consulting for an organization I care very much about. I work 20-30 hours per week, do policy and case work at the same level as my colleagues when I left who have moved to the same organization, and make approximately $180,000 for part time work. And my firm last year again asked if I would return. When you're a good colleague, very smart, and very good at what you do, people in my field know that you can catch up on legal developments. They want good, smart people with proven good judgment. And college and law degrees from top ivy schools help as well. And trust me, none of you would condescendingly refer to me as "darling" in person.

BS, darling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Really? Ok, you go right ahead and think that if it makes you feel more satisfied with your own choice. I assure you, those of us who intend to return to the workforce will absolutely do so. See you there.

NP here- just curious, what field are you and all your friends in? I like the idea of taking off a few years to stay home, but know it would be really difficult to get back into my field after that long of a layoff (STEM field). Sometimes I wish I had picked something where it was easier to jump in and out. Even though you don't know anyone like this, there really are a lot of us who struggle with the decision! I am jealous that it was so easy for you.

It hasn't happened yet. Many of us wouldnt hire someone who'd taken years as a SAHM. Wait and see, my dears.

You mean it hasn't happened yet in whatever firm you work for. And that just speaks volumes about you (if you really are in a position to hire, which is looking ever more doubtful with each of your silly posts) and/or your firm. You have no idea what kind of backgrounds, education, and prior work experience many SAHMs have.

I posted once in this thread and others agreeing have chimed in. I hire regularly and wouldnt hire someone who's taken more than a year or two as a SAHM. Nor, based on responses here, would others. Believe what you wish.

We do get your point and priorities. Working and job experience are at the top of your list. Go for it!

Geez, get over yourself would you? For many, many of us, we have a high priority to help take care if our families. We could simply struggle long term without a second income, and cannot afford to be nonchalant about me taking several years off and hope that I can match, or come close to matching, my previous earning power when I want to re-enter the workforce. We'd like to be able to provide our kids the equivalent of in-state college tuition, prepare for retirement, and not haggle over every single purchase (I had a SAHM and my parents argued about money all the time- you think that isn't harmful to kids?). Some families can do all those things in one income, some can't. And some could but want to maintain dual careers anyway. Why don't you just mind your own business and take care of your own family? Not sure why some posters on here are so obsessed with the choices and needs of others.

PP here. I've been a working mom for years and love what I do, so I understand the contributions of mothers who work. That doesn't mean those who work need to make their career their life's priority.

[Anonymous]

I place a high value on economic stability. Since we don't have one breadwinner, we have two, we're half as vulnerable to downturns, layoffs, etc. I've seen how the stress and consequences of unemployment can devastate families who have only one earner. It's not good for kids.

This is my choice, based on my experiences, observations, and values. Your choice may be different, and that's okay. We all do the best we can for our families. Let's not pretend that there's one right way, however comforting that fantasy may be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of you WOHMs are catty witches with poor reading comprehension.

Because we dispute the fact that SAHMs are just as marketable as their peers who didn't leave the workforce voluntarily to leech off another person? There are hiring managers in this thread, a number of them, flat-out claiming this. Yet it's somehow still in dispute ... ??

Yup. Definitely catty. And definitely poor reading comprehension. Thanks for confirming.

I am a lawyer who took 8 years off to be a FT SAHP. Each year I received at least a few requests from former clients or employers to go in-house or return. I recently went part-time consulting for an organization I care very much about. I work 20-30 hours per week, do policy and case work at the same level as my colleagues when I left who have moved to the same organization, and make approximately $180,000 for part time work. And my firm last year again asked if I would return. When you're a good colleague, very smart, and very good at what you do, people in my field know that you can catch up on legal developments. They want good, smart people with proven good judgment. And college and law degrees from top ivy schools help as well. And trust me, none of you would condescendingly refer to me as "darling" in person.

Great for you. But, you must surely know that you are the exception, and not the rule.

Yes, I am an exception in many ways. Educational opportunities, fabulous supportive parents, the good luck of marrying a man who is continuously supportive, as well as efforts I've made professionally and, realistically, my good fortune that I am highly intelligent in ways relevant to my profession. That said, too many women choose not yo do what they want with their family life, their job choices (whether leaning in or out) because they refuse to acknowledge and own their competence and value. Own it, and yes it, to do what's best for you and your family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of you WOHMs are catty witches with poor reading comprehension.

Because we dispute the fact that SAHMs are just as marketable as their peers who didn't leave the workforce voluntarily to leech off another person? There are hiring managers in this thread, a number of them, flat-out claiming this. Yet it's somehow still in dispute ... ??

Yup. Definitely catty. And definitely poor reading comprehension. Thanks for confirming.

I am a lawyer who took 8 years off to be a FT SAHP. Each year I received at least a few requests from former clients or employers to go in-house or return. I recently went part-time consulting for an organization I care very much about. I work 20-30 hours per week, do policy and case work at the same level as my colleagues when I left who have moved to the same organization, and make approximately $180,000 for part time work. And my firm last year again asked if I would return. When you're a good colleague, very smart, and very good at what you do, people in my field know that you can catch up on legal developments. They want good, smart people with proven good judgment. And college and law degrees from top ivy schools help as well. And trust me, none of you would condescendingly refer to me as "darling" in person.

Great for you. But, you must surely know that you are the exception, and not the rule.

Yes, I am an exception in many ways. Educational opportunities, fabulous supportive parents, the good luck of marrying a man who is continuously supportive, as well as efforts I've made professionally and, realistically, my good fortune that I am highly intelligent in ways relevant to my profession. That said, too many women choose not yo do what they want with their family life, their job choices (whether leaning in or out) because they refuse to acknowledge and own their competence and value. Own it, and yes it, to do what's best for you and your family.

You're insufferable.

[Anonymous]

I absolutely make my kid a priority by working. We chose, between my husband and me, to have me continue working and front load as much of her college fund as we could. We'll be done when she's 10. That takes that load off. We chose, between my husband and me, to make travel a priority - not just for us but for our daughter. That's our value. We want her to see the world and consider that part of her education. We couldn't do that if I wasn't working. We chose to give each other the peace of mind that neither of us was financially responsible for our family; when my husband was laid off we didn't panic and didn't bring that into the house. Our kid never knew the difference because we have that flexibility.

I think people should do whatever works for them, but when people say I don't prioritize my kid because I work I think, "HUH?" I'm basically working for her at this point! If we didn't have her, ironically I wouldn't need to work. But she deserves the best education we can give her and the best experiences we can give her, etc. I work in a field that wouldn't overlook an absence of many years so that was factored in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have someone in our workplace who was a SAHM for 10 years before joining us.

She answers the phones and makes copies. She's been with us for two years and I don't really see her career going any further unless she makes a real effort to catch up with technology. She can barely use Outlook. Would have being in the workforce for the past decade made her smarter? Maybe not, but at least she'd be more experienced.

In short, if you stay at home for a long time, you're going to have to go out of your way to get current. And that will take more than a week or two. Make sure you bake that into your plans.

Wow, you're a real charmer, aren't you? I feel sorry for the woman you described, but only because she has to work around people like you. I'm sure you drip with condescension every time you deign to speak to her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Really? Ok, you go right ahead and think that if it makes you feel more satisfied with your own choice. I assure you, those of us who intend to return to the workforce will absolutely do so. See you there.

NP here- just curious, what field are you and all your friends in? I like the idea of taking off a few years to stay home, but know it would be really difficult to get back into my field after that long of a layoff (STEM field). Sometimes I wish I had picked something where it was easier to jump in and out. Even though you don't know anyone like this, there really are a lot of us who struggle with the decision! I am jealous that it was so easy for you.

It hasn't happened yet. Many of us wouldnt hire someone who'd taken years as a SAHM. Wait and see, my dears.

You mean it hasn't happened yet in whatever firm you work for. And that just speaks volumes about you (if you really are in a position to hire, which is looking ever more doubtful with each of your silly posts) and/or your firm. You have no idea what kind of backgrounds, education, and prior work experience many SAHMs have.

I posted once in this thread and others agreeing have chimed in. I hire regularly and wouldnt hire someone who's taken more than a year or two as a SAHM. Nor, based on responses here, would others. Believe what you wish.

We do get your point and priorities. Working and job experience are at the top of your list. Go for it!

Geez, get over yourself would you? For many, many of us, we have a high priority to help take care if our families. We could simply struggle long term without a second income, and cannot afford to be nonchalant about me taking several years off and hope that I can match, or come close to matching, my previous earning power when I want to re-enter the workforce. We'd like to be able to provide our kids the equivalent of in-state college tuition, prepare for retirement, and not haggle over every single purchase (I had a SAHM and my parents argued about money all the time- you think that isn't harmful to kids?). Some families can do all those things in one income, some can't. And some could but want to maintain dual careers anyway. Why don't you just mind your own business and take care of your own family? Not sure why some posters on here are so obsessed with the choices and needs of others.

To clarify that was a different poster (though I wholeheartedly agree - ha!)

First thy claim they'll waltz back into the workforce where they left off, then hop on the high horse about how their priorities are in line (while they spend hubby's money at Starbucks). Sigh.

I don't think anyone here has claimed they'll "waltz back into the workforce where they left off," you moron. Obviously, that's not going to happen if you take time off from your career. However, the notion that SAHMs will never work again, as some of you enjoy claiming, is fiction and you know it.